The Apprentice's Talent (2014 WIP) Ch1

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Ray McCarthy

Sentient Marmite: The Truth may make you fret.
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The Mid West (of Ireland)
This is current WIP. It's 101K words and needs now Beta Readers and Editor. I've worn out my team of Alpha's. Silly me. I think the story is complete. The MC is 23 year old (during most of the story) woman with Irish dad and Chinese Mother (both dead). These facts are not spoiling the story. After chapter 1 she is essentially the only Earth person.


Chapter 1: Listening
To start with there was nothing. Then a voice spoke, which was something

“I wonder what was said?” Chainai asked.

Pedar put the book down.

Probably the Clerics would say that is the wrong question. Pedar replied to her.

“I don’t even know what your voice sounds like” she paused “Or really what you look like, other people’s impressions of hearing and seeing isn’t likely the same. Anyway I do appreciate you coming and reading to me. Are you laughing? I sense you are very amused!”

Oh Chainai dear! Pedar replied. I know I’m a Journeyman of the First Circle and a Telepath. I can block a Master Empath. But I can’t block you because besides overwhelmed by your stunning beauty, you are an Adept, maybe even an Arch Empath.

“Well yes I sense you believe it, but I’m still baffled why you do think it. I’m blind and deaf since I was very small and can only have proper conversations with someone that has some telepathic ability. My poor mangled speech must be tiring too.” She paused, “No don’t deny it, I know it is!”

OK, you win. He laughed.

“Anyway, scoot off. I have to change and go on duty shortly, no you can’t kiss me. Go!” Chainai waved towards the door.

What about I take you over?

“No, I’m not a child and my locater does more than your eyes!”

OK ‘Master’ Chainai, see you in about five hours Pedar sent.

Ruefully Pedar took and patted her hand and slowly walked off turning and pausing at the doorway. Chainai imperiously pointed at the door. He went out and closed it softly.

Chainai went and stripped off and showered quickly, then dried and put on the robes left out on her bed. Then fastened her belt, donned the locater and plugged it into the belt. Of course it didn’t give her actual vision but a clear sense of her surroundings based more on material though than light. Confidently she went out and strode left down the corridor. At the next main intersection she got into the waiting buggy which whisked off toward the Cone.

She mused on Pedar’s attentions. She knew she was being hard on him denying even the slight intimacy of a kiss, but knew she had to be strong for both of them. So few people and so much opportunity to be alone together she had to. Also Talent meant Responsibility, she had started in the College at unusually early age of 8 nearly four years after her Talent was obvious, as usually Talent didn’t manifest till puberty. So the College was like a combination of a high school and university. An establishment full of Teenagers and Adults couldn’t take a toddler no matter how Talented! Strange though she could remember very little of home, only the beach. Very unusual to be a Master before 20! Her musings interrupted by the buggy stopping. She selected the bottom button on the lift by touch, and her stomach lurched as the lift plummeted on the 12km journey. She sat on the bench and waited.


* * *


Pedar trudged toward the refractory across the park. He could only hear what Chainai choose to say, he couldn’t read her at all. At times she seemed almost like a robot or an Android in fiction, her smooth alabaster features with sightless eyes never showed emotion, her speech was flat & difficult due to total deafness most of her life. But she was totally dedicated to her work, thus her reason for keeping him at arm’s length probably was true. It was frustrating as he could read anyone else, except of course better Telepaths. No other Empath had a natural unconscious Block either!

As was often the case the Hall was empty, he poured a mug of Jhai and selected a RediMeal from the servitor. It certainly was lonely and tedious stationed on the Listening Post. Darneem was a barren empty planet, especially so for the about last 1000 years when the last natives left. As he sat down Janera came in.

She nodded to him and also poured a hot drink and ordered food. “Mind if I join you?”

Pedar beckoned.

“I thought today my five hours felt like ten” She shook her head of grey hair “I do declare I felt today age was catching me up. I wish we had more suitable Adept Empaths and then I could retire. Not a whisper.”

Pedar tried to look sympathetic. The Listening post had five Empaths and one Telepath.

“I have even less to do” Pedar pointed out. “I’m only here because Radio is limited to Light Speed and Talent isn’t! I’ve nothing to do at all”

“Oh I think you are selling yourself short, Chainai certainly appreciates your reading, her embossed books must be very tedious to ‘feel’ and she can’t have a conversation with the other three off duty Empaths, none are Telepaths even weakly so all she can do is sense broader aspects of what we focus on. Her ‘locater’ doesn’t have resolution or ability for pictures much less our entertainment library.”

Pedar fetched the two meal trays. For a while they ate in silence suddenly broken by piercing bleeps.

“Well answer it!” Janera urged.

Pedar picked the Personal Crystal from his belt pouch and tapped it.

“I thought you fallen asleep” Chainai’s flat monotone crackled out of the crystal.

Well Pedar thought hard at her.

“Aaawoh! softer, that hurt” she answered “Confirmed Talent. I let go of logging button just after the signature peaked. Very short and garbled, so must be very far off. I’ll go back to ‘listening’ now, though another contact inside the next year would be unusually soon. We may of course pick it up again this time tomorrow.”

Pedar concentrate on his contact on Decius who would relay to the College Council. When Kilium answered he read off (telepathically) all the co-ordinates and other statistics presented automatically on his Crystal from the Station Computer calculations based on the time.

Eventually a message came back. Chainai should listen again at same time (about 25 hours later) for the next few days.

But amazingly Chainai soon ‘picked up’ another Talent. This one she already knew, Olef Cordwainer who had vanished when the Orb of Ghillion was stolen from Laramos City on Caemoria.


* * *


The Arch Chancellor banged the Gavel at the Circle College Council meeting.

“It’s unprecedented that the only ship that was ready to jump was the Intergal 1 and perhaps their backward accidental jump that could have been a disaster may be a Silver lined sheet.” He paused. “As you know the new Talent is at an unprecedented distance about 25 kps [25 Kilo Parsecs about 80K light years], but also there is a much nearer one on Yaram, a somewhat ‘Backward planet” we do have limited contact with. The Intergal 1 is now nearly ready to rendezvous via Flitters and the Talent is the missing Olef Cordwainer. We will also send a ship to bring Chainai back to College as his memory has been erased or locked.


* * *

Every news channel on Earth was carrying enhanced telescope shots of the Alien Space Ship and the edited highlights of the Alien transmission with also a Galaxy map showing their origin.
bigsix_klar_earth1.png

The original news had been five months ago but had eventually been dropped till the Space ship arrived. There was looped footage of the Space ship’s shuttle craft, called a Flitter, landing at the air base in America and the crew; Juili, Marit, Glenin (all almost child like in size, Virona (an adult size and shape, but with fur, tail and teeth like a cat, and Burth (taller than most people with scale like skin and tufts of hair all over) meeting the President. Then footage of the craft landing at Darmstadt in Germany. The UN had appointed Ray McCarthy as an Observer to accompany the Aliens. There was considerable analysis and consternation of the fact that the Aliens only wanted to meet someone (unspecified) and leave. Though everyone was excited that they would be leaving two messaging satellites (Sync-Sat) with examples of Fusion power and Jump technology. Also in deep space between the Kuiper belt and Oort Cloud was a Sync-Sat now linked via other ‘hops’ to the Galactic Council HQ on Caemoria. The UN could now communicate with this via radio (with 16 days delay Earth to Sync-Sat each way and 9 days Caemoria to Sync-Sat) so a round trip reply would be over 7 weeks due to radio delays to deep space. The message crystal exchanges in the Sync-Sats though didn’t take long to cover the intervening 80,000 light years distance.
 
This isn't as weak as your other piece, IMO, but I still think it keeps pushing on trying to tell, not show. The first few sentences almost draw me in, and then you keep slipping into trying to explain things and that destroys the immediacy of the character experience.

I'd recommend you look through threads in the Writing Resources section, and especially look out for anything about the technicalities of POV, structure, and character development arcs.

Try this thread on beginnings for starters: http://www.sffchronicles.com/threads/546603/
 
Yes, I think this is the strongest of the two excerpts, but there is still a lot of info in there getting in the way of the story for me.

Dialogue punctuation isn't quite there - in the workshop we have a toolbox thread, one page from the end I have a long, boring, post on dialogue punctuation.

For me, it's what Brian said in your other thread - a lot of this info is for you, not the reader. Think about, for the sake of argument, Star Wars. We don't get told the background of the Empire and the kids getting split up and all the information about the world. We get shown a space battle, an intiguing scene with a woman we know nothing about, and two droids escaping. Because that's all we need to know at the beginning: that something is happening, something intriguing and if we want to hang around a while we might find out why... And, along the way, we'll find out there are smugglers and Hutts and Jedis and the force. But not right away...
 
I always said Star Trek and Star Wars are worst when they try and explain anything. That was what was great about seeing SW at 1st release in late 1970s Belfast in the Cinema.

Found the Dialog Punct post, saved & printed. Likely though I'll get confused.
 
Last edited:
This is the first time I attempt one of my 'red pen extravaganzas' in this software, and I can't find 'preview post', but it might just work…
Chapter 1: Listening
To start with there was nothing. Then a voice spoke, which was something
Period
“I wonder what was said?” Chainai asked.

Pedar put the book down.

Probably the Clerics would say that is the wrong question. Pedar replied to her.

“I don’t even know what your voice sounds like” she paused “Or really what you look like,
Comma splice
other people’s impressions of hearing and seeing isn’t
aren't - impressions are plural.
likely the same. Anyway
Probably comma
I do appreciate you coming and reading to me. Are you laughing? I sense you are very amused!”

Oh Chainai dear! Pedar replied. I know I’m a Journeyman of the First Circle and a Telepath. I can block a Master Empath. But I can’t block you because
Comma
being?
overwhelmed by your stunning beauty, you are an Adept, maybe even an Arch Empath.

“Well yes
Comma
I sense you believe it, but I’m still baffled why you do think it. I’m
have been?
blind and deaf since I was very small and can only have proper conversations with someone that
who
has some telepathic ability. My poor mangled speech must be tiring
Comma
too.” She paused,
Period
“No don’t deny it, I know it is!”

OK, you win. He laughed.

“Anyway, scoot off. I have to change and go on duty shortly,
Comma splice
Comma
you can’t kiss me. Go!” Chainai waved towards the door.

What about I take you over?

“No, I’m not a child and my locater does more than your eyes!”

OK ‘Master’ Chainai, see you in about five hours
Period
Pedar sent.

Ruefully Pedar took and patted her hand and slowly walked off
Punctuate
turning and pausing at the doorway. Chainai pointed imperiously at the door. He went out and closed it softly.

Chainai went and stripped off and showered quickly, then dried and put on the robes left out on her bed. Then fastened her belt, donned the locater and plugged it into the belt. Of course it didn’t give her actual vision but a clear sense of her surroundings
Punctuate
based more on material though than light. Confidently
Comma
she went out and strode left down the corridor. At the next main intersection she got into the waiting buggy which whisked off toward the Cone.

She mused on Pedar’s attentions. She knew she was being hard on him
punctuate
denying even the slight intimacy of a kiss, but knew she had to be strong for both of them.
Possibly a 'with' here?
So few people and so much opportunity to be alone together
punctuate
she had to. Also
Comma
Talent meant Responsibility,
Comma splice
she had started in the College at
Article. The, an?
unusually early age of 8
Write out the 'eight'.
nearly four years after her Talent was
became?
obvious, as usually Talent didn’t manifest till puberty. So the College was like a combination of a high school and university. An establishment full of Teenagers and Adults couldn’t take a toddler no matter how Talented! Strange though
Punctuate
she could remember very little of home, only the beach. Very unusual to be a Master before 20! Her musings
were?
interrupted by the buggy stopping. She selected the bottom button on the lift by touch, and her stomach lurched as the lift plummeted on the 12km journey. She sat on the bench and waited.


 
Still trying
* * *
Pedar trudged toward the refractory
refectory (unless it was very hard to melt
across the park. He could only hear what Chainai choose
chose
Comma splice
he couldn’t read her at all. At times she seemed almost like a robot or an Android in fiction,
Another comma splice unless you change the 'showed' to 'showing' and leave out the 'was'.
her smooth alabaster features with sightless eyes never showed emotion, her speech was flat & difficult due to total deafness most of her life. But she was totally dedicated to her work, thus
'So' rather than 'thus'?
her reason for keeping him at arm’s length probably was true. It was frustrating
Comma
as he could read anyone else, except of course better Telepaths. No other Empath had a natural unconscious Block either!

As was often the case
Comma
the Hall was empty,
Comma splice
he poured a mug of Jhai and selected a RediMeal from the servitor. It certainly was lonely and tedious stationed on the Listening Post. Darneem was a barren empty planet, especially so for the about last 1000 years when
Since?
the last natives left. As he sat down Janera came in.


She nodded to him and also poured a hot drink and ordered food. “Mind if I join you?”

Pedar beckoned.

“I thought today my five hours felt like ten
Period
” She shook her head of grey hair
Period
“I do declare I felt today age was catching me up. I wish we had more suitable Adept Empaths and then I could retire. Not a whisper.”

Pedar tried to look sympathetic. The Listening post had five Empaths and one Telepath.

“I have even less to do
Comma
” Pedar pointed out. “I’m only here because Radio is limited to Light Speed and Talent isn’t!
Why the exclamation mark?
I’ve nothing to do at all”

“Oh
Punctuate
I think you are selling yourself short,
Comma splice
Chainai certainly appreciates your reading,
Comma splice.
her embossed books must be very tedious to ‘feel’ and she can’t have a conversation with the other three off duty Empaths,
Comma splice
none are Telepaths even weakly so all she can do is sense broader aspects of what we focus on. Her ‘locater’ doesn’t have resolution or ability for pictures
Comma
much less our entertainment library.”

Pedar fetched the two meal trays. For a while they ate in
a
silence suddenly broken by piercing bleeps.

“Well
Comma
answer it!” Janera urged.

Pedar picked the Personal Crystal from his belt pouch and tapped it.

“I thought you
had?
fallen asleep
punctuate
” Chainai’s flat monotone crackled out of the crystal.

Well
Italics for the thought
Pedar thought hard at her.

“Aaawoh! softer, that hurt” she answered “Confirmed Talent. I let go of logging button just after the signature peaked. Very short and garbled, so must be very far off. I’ll go back to ‘listening’ now, though another contact inside the next year would be unusually soon. We may
Comma
of course
Comma
pick it up again this time tomorrow.”

Pedar concentrate
concentrated
on his contact on Decius who would relay to the College Council. When Kilium answered he read off (telepathically) all the co-ordinates and other statistics presented automatically on his Crystal from the Station Computer calculations based on the time.

Eventually a message came back. Chainai should listen again at
the
same time (about 25 hours later) for the next few days.

But amazingly Chainai soon ‘picked up’ another Talent. This one she already knew, Olef Cordwainer who had vanished when the Orb of Ghillion was stolen from Laramos City on Caemoria.
* * *

The Arch Chancellor banged the Gavel at the Circle College Council meeting.

“It’s unprecedented that the only ship that was ready to jump was the Intergal 1 and perhaps their backward accidental jump that could have been a disaster may be a Silver lined sheet.” He paused. “As you know the new Talent is at an unprecedented distance
Comma
about 25 kps [25 Kilo Parsecs about 80K light years], but also there is a much nearer one on Yaram, a somewhat ‘Backward planet”
Standardise quotation marks
we do have limited contact with. The Intergal 1 is now nearly ready to rendezvous via Flitters and the Talent is the missing Olef Cordwainer. We will also send a ship to bring Chainai back to College as his memory has been erased or locked.

* * *​

Every news channel on Earth was carrying enhanced telescope shots of the Alien Space Ship and the edited highlights of the Alien transmission
Comma
with also a Galaxy map showing their origin. The original news had been
arrived?
five months ago but had eventually been dropped till the Space ship arrived. There was looped footage of the Space ship’s shuttle craft, called a Flitter, landing at the air base in America and the crew;
Possibly colon for the list
Juili, Marit, Glenin (all almost child like in size, Virona (an adult size and shape, but with fur, tail and teeth like a cat,
Close parentheses
and Burth (taller than most people with scale-like skin and tufts of hair all over)
Some indication list is at an end.
meeting the President. Then footage of the craft landing at Darmstadt in Germany. The UN had appointed Ray McCarthy as an Observer to accompany the Aliens. There was considerable analysis and consternation
can a fact be consternated?
of the fact that the Aliens only wanted to meet someone (unspecified) and leave. Though everyone was excited that they would be leaving two messaging satellites (Sync-Sat) with examples of Fusion power and Jump technology.
Fragment
 
This is not bad, but it was not enough to hold my interest all the way through and I'll try to figure out why while a go back a second time to add notes.

Chapter 1: Listening
To start with there was nothing. Then a voice spoke, which was something

“I wonder what was said?” Chainai asked.
::
This is not really a question and if you want it to be one I'd suggest a pause after wonder.
"I wonder: what was said?"
::

Pedar put the book down.

Probably the Clerics would say that is the wrong question. Pedar replied to her.
::
I know I do not yet know this person but it seems more likely the statement would be.
"The Clerics would say that is the question."
You also miss an opportunity here because you keep us distant from these two by no defined POV almost third omni but when they part from one another you drop close to Chainai. you could do that here and help explain things.

She wished she could see his face, because after a while thoughts have a sort of flavor that might contain clues to a persons emotional state and that tasted sarcastic. It would be nice to see an expression to verify.
::

“I don’t even know what your voice sounds like[.]” she paused [.]“Or really what you look like, other people’s impressions of hearing and seeing isn’t likely the same. Anyway I do appreciate you coming and reading to me. Are you laughing? I sense you are very amused!”

::when possible try to avoid using 'very'::

Oh Chainai dear! Pedar replied. I know I’m a Journeyman of the First Circle and a Telepath. I can block a Master Empath. But I can’t block you because besides overwhelmed by your stunning beauty, you are an Adept, maybe even an Arch Empath.

::I'm not sure what her beauty might have to do with the inability to block, but if it is meant that he won't block as a courtesy to someone of great beauty then maybe it should be separated out to two thoughts because right now it's lumped in with some sort of inability to block.::

“Well yes I sense you believe it, but I’m still baffled why you do think it. I’m blind and deaf since I was very small and can only have proper conversations with someone that has some telepathic ability. My poor mangled speech must be tiring too.” She paused, “No don’t deny it, I know it is!”

::This reads awkward to me--I know that you want to explain this early[that she is blind and deaf] but coupled with here bafflement over is alleged inability it doesn't follow naturally enough for conversation and almost gives the impression they are having a separate conversation that the reader can't see.::

OK, you win. He laughed.

“Anyway, scoot off. I have to change and go on duty shortly, no you can’t kiss me. Go!” Chainai waved towards the door.

What about I take you over?

“No, I’m not a child and my locater does more than your eyes!”

OK ‘Master’ Chainai, see you in about five hours Pedar sent.

Ruefully Pedar took and patted her hand and slowly walked off turning and pausing at the doorway. Chainai imperiously pointed at the door. He went out and closed it softly.

::This has to be an Omni POV and the reader needs more explanation of how her telepathic abilities work in order for this scene to work.::

Chainai went and stripped off and showered quickly, then dried and put on the robes left out on her bed. Then fastened her belt, donned the locater and plugged it into the belt. Of course it didn’t give her actual vision but a clear sense of her surroundings based more on material though than light. Confidently she went out and strode left down the corridor. At the next main intersection she got into the waiting buggy which whisked off toward the Cone.

::now below we drop into her POV::

She mused on Pedar’s attentions. She knew she was being hard on him denying even the slight intimacy of a kiss, but knew she had to be strong for both of them. So few people and so much opportunity to be alone together she had to. Also Talent meant Responsibility, she had started in the College at unusually early age of 8 nearly four years after her Talent was obvious, as usually Talent didn’t manifest till puberty. So the College was like a combination of a high school and university. An establishment full of Teenagers and Adults couldn’t take a toddler no matter how Talented! Strange though she could remember very little of home, only the beach. Very unusual to be a Master before 20! Her musings interrupted by the buggy stopping. She selected the bottom button on the lift by touch, and her stomach lurched as the lift plummeted on the 12km journey. She sat on the bench and waited.

::This is a lot of telling and I'm not averse to telling but you need to organize it better because she's in college at eight and maybe only because the think shes an adult since talent doesn't manifest until after puberty and toddlers can't go to college and its nice to be a master before age 20 just doesn't collate in my mind very well.::


* * *


Pedar trudged toward the refractory across the park. He could only hear what Chainai choose to say, he couldn’t read her at all. At times she seemed almost like a robot or an Android in fiction, her smooth alabaster features with sightless eyes never showed emotion, her speech was flat & difficult due to total deafness most of her life. But she was totally dedicated to her work, thus her reason for keeping him at arm’s length probably was true. It was frustrating as he could read anyone else, except of course better Telepaths. No other Empath had a natural unconscious Block either!

As was often the case the Hall was empty, he poured a mug of Jhai and selected a RediMeal from the servitor. It certainly was lonely and tedious stationed on the Listening Post. Darneem was a barren empty planet, especially so for the about last 1000 years when the last natives left. As he sat down Janera came in.

She nodded to him and also poured a hot drink and ordered food. “Mind if I join you?”

Pedar beckoned.

“I thought today my five hours felt like ten” She shook her head of grey hair “I do declare I felt today age was catching me up. I wish we had more suitable Adept Empaths and then I could retire. Not a whisper.”

::The Not a whisper goes right by me I have no idea.:: Other than to be complaining that she didn't do anything and that just wore her out maybe?::

Pedar tried to look sympathetic.
:: This a bit of telling and what makes it insidiously bad is that up to this point we don't know if Pedar knows how to look sympathetic so we have no idea what trying to look sympathetic looks like for him. ::
The Listening post had five Empaths and one Telepath.

“I have even less to do” Pedar pointed out. “I’m only here because Radio is limited to Light Speed and Talent isn’t! I’ve nothing to do at all”

:: Nothing to do--is that because there is no communication traffic so no need for radio?::

“Oh I think you are selling yourself short, Chainai certainly appreciates your reading, her embossed books must be very tedious to ‘feel’ and she can’t have a conversation with the other three off duty Empaths, none are Telepaths even weakly so all she can do is sense broader aspects of what we focus on. Her ‘locater’ doesn’t have resolution or ability for pictures much less our entertainment library.”

Pedar fetched the two meal trays. For a while they ate in silence suddenly broken by piercing bleeps.

“Well answer it!” Janera urged.

Pedar picked the Personal Crystal from his belt pouch and tapped it.

“I thought you fallen asleep” Chainai’s flat monotone crackled out of the crystal.

Well Pedar thought hard at her.

“Aaawoh! softer, that hurt” she answered “Confirmed Talent. I let go of logging button just after the signature peaked. Very short and garbled, so must be very far off. I’ll go back to ‘listening’ now, though another contact inside the next year would be unusually soon. We may of course pick it up again this time tomorrow.”

Pedar concentrate on his contact on Decius who would relay to the College Council. When Kilium answered he read off (telepathically) all the co-ordinates and other statistics presented automatically on his Crystal from the Station Computer calculations based on the time.

Eventually a message came back. Chainai should listen again at same time (about 25 hours later) for the next few days.

But amazingly Chainai soon ‘picked up’ another Talent. This one she already knew, Olef Cordwainer who had vanished when the Orb of Ghillion was stolen from Laramos City on Caemoria.

:: I'm confused about the crystal; does it facilitate all communication both voice and telepathy[it seems to] but this whole piece after the chime seems a bit too muddles just because despite all the previous telling the reader has not been informed about the crystals and what part they play in the interaction of communication--obviously Chainai is still talking because Pedar can't read her and Pedar is using telepathy because he can't speak because she wouldn't hear.::
* * *
:: Honestly the rest confuses me:: I don't know if it's too much information or not enough, but usually it's a combination of too much that is of no consequence and not enough to glue all the thoughts together.::
 
:)(grins) Did nobody warn you about me? Sorry, I must be a little of a shock first time. And, apart from one word order, nothing that helps with flow (which I'm not entirely convinced with yet), or pacing, or infodumping - nothing useful.

Is that really under 1,500 words (recommended in the stickies)? I'm going to have problems with critiques in this software.

Are you observing the Manhattan UN or the Geneva one?

Also in deep space
Comma
between the Kuiper belt and Oort Cloud
Comma. And can the Kuiper belt not be considered as part of the Oort cloud? Though if the relay is at multiple light days from the sun, it is well outside the belt.
was a Sync-Sat now linked via other ‘hops’ to the Galactic Council HQ on Caemoria. The UN could now communicate with this via radio (with 16 days delay Earth to Sync-Sat each way and 9 days Caemoria to Sync-Sat) so a round trip reply would be over 7 weeks due to radio delays to deep space. The message crystal exchanges in the Sync-Sats though
Comma?
didn’t take long to cover the intervening 80,000 light years distance.


 
" Kuiper belt not be considered as part of the Oort cloud?"

According to my information they are very much separate. One Source (I checked many).

Wikipedia said:
Oort Cloud: named after Dutch astronomer Jan Oort, is a spherical cloud of predominantly icy planetesimals believed to surround the Sun at up to 50,000 AU (50K times Earth -Sun Distance) The Kuiper belt and the scattered disc, the other two reservoirs of trans-Neptunian objects, are less than one thousandth as far from the Sun as the Oort cloud. The Kuiper belt is "only" 50 AU from the sun
The "Relay" is between the two, as close to Kuiper belt as its specialised "jump" gates for message crystals allows. The Starship "jumps" to Solar system about 17 or 18 light days* from Earth. A little further out than placement of the Sync-Sat.

Imaginary bit:
Power required for the Jump engine is proportional to cube law of local space/time curvature due to mass. Thus even with massive power of ion drive it's very hard to transit between planets in less than a year, even if a single instantaneous jump is possible. You need to know the jump destination is feasible or else something bad (never specified) might happen, the least probably being burnt out Jump Engines I'd guess. I've no idea how the Jump Engines work, sorry.

Real bits again
A UN Observer observes stuff in conflict areas FOR the UN. Famously they usually get out of the road and let one side kill the other. I don't remember them actually stopping anything in Suez, Lebanon, Balkans, Gaza, West Bank, Jordan etc. (all places that had UN Observers, well maybe not Jordan). UN Observers do other stuff too. All information gathering. Then the General Assembly and/or Security council argue. Often it's when they actually agree to intervene it's worse!
Since Switzerland only even joined UN recently the Geneva office wasn't very important. Nor the one in Vienna. I think New York has always been the UN HQ. Wasn't it more or less a US invention to replace the failed League of Nations? UN approval of Korean War in 1956 makes interesting reading :D

My punctuation and grammar is rubbish. Any mistakes in actual physics etc are typos!


[*Distances in Space: Millions of km. AU (Astronomical Unit = Earth -Sun distance), light minutes, days, years and Parsecs. No wonder NASA got confused once, though insanely someone was using the American version of Imperial Units!]
 
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