The Angel and The Knight: Poem

[dustinzgirl]

The Angel and The Knight

Above the realm of man
Somewhere between Heaven,
And what others name Hell.
Bring the wand and still spell.
Rise strong through the darkness,
Call and come the allness.

Lay a kiss upon the sky,
And beware the cat's eye.
Swiftly travel in silence,
Give alms and pay penance.
Only black wings fall down,
Shimmer and glamour gown.

A fallen spirit glides and trolls,
Aphotic births sweet souls.
Where once love did the same,
Seek through time-end the game.
For vengeance not sated,
A promise left gated.

The moon calls the lost home;
The sun will cry come gloam.
Spell to still the mongrel:
The Foul; The Fell Angel;
Dear Knight:
Find home in Tintagel.

 

[j d worthington]

The Angel and The Knight

Above the realm of man
Somewhere between Heaven,
And what others name Hell.
Bring the wand and still spell.
Rise strong through the darkness,
Call and come the allness.

Lay a kiss upon the sky,
And beware the cat's eye.
Swiftly travel in silence,
Give alms and pay penance.
Only black wings fall down,
Shimmer and glamour gown.

A fallen spirit glides and trolls,
Aphotic births sweet souls.
Where once love did the same,
Seek through time-end the game.
For vengeance not sated,
A promise left gated.

The moon calls the lost home;
The sun will cry come gloam.
Spell to still the mongrel:
The Foul; Fallen Angel,
Dear Knight:
Find home in Tintagel.

Dusty, I only have one question: should that be a semicolon, or a comma, between "Foul" and "Fallen"? Seems to me you intend the former, which certainly broadens the scope. At any rate, general comments: even though I have a fairly good vocabulary, aphotic is a word I was not familiar with. Thank you for introducing me to it. This is not a complaint; in fact, I think it works strongly in the poem's favor. Both for its meaning and the fact that it is a somewhat "occult" word (in many senses). Beyond that, about all I can say is that you continue to grow as a poet with nearly every piece I see. I am continually impressed by the sheer power of your imagery and the conciseness of your use of language. My only concern is the rhyming of "Angel" and "Tintagel", which is a slightly false rhyme. But let it pass. It's at most a very, very minor point in an otherwise superb poem. Again: I want a copy. This is wonderful!

Question: Are you going to put together a book of your verse at some point? Even though it would probably have to be put out by a small press, I think you have work that would definitely appeal to a wider audience. I really think that you have all the makings of a very, very good poet, and I can't tell you how impressed I am. Keep 'em coming!

 

[dustinzgirl]

Wow. That was faster than I could hit the refresh screen!

The semi-colon is more used to force a more three dimensional thinking: The Foul. The Angel. The Knight. I don't know if it works like that, but that is how I meant it.

PS: I changed that verse to read: The Foul; The Fell Angel;

Does that make more sense?

Yes, Tinatagel and Angel do not rhyme: but have you ever tried to rhyme Tintagel? Or Angel? LOL! Both words are a pain. So I put two pains together!

Thank you very much for your support.

I'm not even published and I already have a fan! (Other than my children and husband--they have to be my fans)

To answer your question: I never thought about publishing poetry until everyone started telling me I should, which was when I started actually letting people read my poetry over the last year or so.

I am putting together a chapbook now, and have sent a few single poems (the ones here you have read) off to editors. We'll see what happens.

Mayhap, by some magic, some extremely rich person will see this and go "OMG SO HAVE TO PAY HER A BIJILLION DOLLARS!!!!' Um...not likely, but possible.

 

[j d worthington]

The semi-colon is more used to force a more three dimensional thinking: The Foul. The Angel. The Knight. I don't know if it works like that, but that is how I meant it.

I was reading it right, then. Yes, it works beautifully. I just wanted to make certain. As I said, it would work either way, but I think this way is actually much more effective.

Thank you very much for your support.

I'm not even published and I already have a fan! (Other than my children and husband--they have to be my fans)

As a matter of fact, you have. Good poetry -- especially good poetry on fantastic themes -- is not easy to come by these days, especially since so many of those who attempt it feel that they must fit inside the straitjacket of being "truly weird" or "really supernatural" that they forget poetry, wherever it goes, must be rooted in life's soil and watered by the tears of experience. You've got that down pat. I realize how fulsome some of my praise sounds, but I quite literally am blown away by how chiselled your work often is. As I said, good poetry of this sort is hard to find; so I very much appreciate finding such gems right here ... and if you do get that chapbook, or even a full slender book of poetry published, let me know. Don't send me a copy ... I want to buy it. You deserve to be paid for this, and I'd much rather support this sort of talent.[/quote]