Jayaprakash Satyamurthy
Knivesout no more
A William Burroughs-influenced twist-in-reality sort of thing Ihave been working in. Here is the first installment, tell me what you think. The whole thing is pretty tongue in cheek so feel free to take it very lightly. 
The Nova Subterfuge 1: The excitement of it all
The Nova Heat gather. The Venusian Situation.
‘They’re everywhere I tell you everywhere’ a young rookie cries. His head bursts into flames. Gorillas rush in with fire extinguishers and put him out. The charred remains are deposited in an ashtray in the centre of the table. Belatedly, a smoke alarm goes off and sprinklers drench everybody. The gorillas climb up to a ledge where they crouch, giggling.
‘Perhaps we can get on with this now’ says Inspector Lee extinguishing his cigar in the ashtray. Ashes and ashes mingle. His PA, an agile young transvestite contortionist, reaches for the schedule with his prehensile feet and passes it to the Inspector.
‘Thank you. I see that the first point here is a General Prayer. Perhaps you could handle that?’ General Scam of the US Army gets up from his chair and kneels at the table. As he recites the Lord’s Prayer, a gorilla breaks wind resoundingly, triggering the smoke alarm and sprinklers once more.
The room is now ankle deep in grimy water. Stagger Lee, the Inspector’s namesake and protégé, stands up and walks out, disgusted. He comes to an elevator. It’s going up. He takes it to the top and steps out into the terrace. It is a clear starry dusk and he gazes at the Evening Star.
A middle-aged Venusian Boy Girl running to fat approaches him. He whips out his Plutonium Alloyed Hypernetic Pistol and fells the Venusian. Blowing smoke from the barrel he mumbles to himself, ‘that was a close one.’ Putting the weapon back in its holster he goes to the edge of the terrace and stands there, looking down.
A herd of cattle is crossing the road. A car stops for them. The herd crosses the road and the car drives on.
A herd of cattle is crossing the road. A car stops for them. A huge buffalo comes to a halt in the centre of the road, lifts its tail and defecates on the car’s bonnet.
A herd of cattle is crossing the road. A car collides with them, knocking down a huge buffalo, and speeds away.
‘They’ve started with the Time Flickers again!’ announces Stagger Lee bursting back into the room where the others are gathered. General consternation and chaos. General Scam passes out with the excitement of it all.
The Nova Subterfuge 1: The excitement of it all
The Nova Heat gather. The Venusian Situation.
‘They’re everywhere I tell you everywhere’ a young rookie cries. His head bursts into flames. Gorillas rush in with fire extinguishers and put him out. The charred remains are deposited in an ashtray in the centre of the table. Belatedly, a smoke alarm goes off and sprinklers drench everybody. The gorillas climb up to a ledge where they crouch, giggling.
‘Perhaps we can get on with this now’ says Inspector Lee extinguishing his cigar in the ashtray. Ashes and ashes mingle. His PA, an agile young transvestite contortionist, reaches for the schedule with his prehensile feet and passes it to the Inspector.
‘Thank you. I see that the first point here is a General Prayer. Perhaps you could handle that?’ General Scam of the US Army gets up from his chair and kneels at the table. As he recites the Lord’s Prayer, a gorilla breaks wind resoundingly, triggering the smoke alarm and sprinklers once more.
The room is now ankle deep in grimy water. Stagger Lee, the Inspector’s namesake and protégé, stands up and walks out, disgusted. He comes to an elevator. It’s going up. He takes it to the top and steps out into the terrace. It is a clear starry dusk and he gazes at the Evening Star.
A middle-aged Venusian Boy Girl running to fat approaches him. He whips out his Plutonium Alloyed Hypernetic Pistol and fells the Venusian. Blowing smoke from the barrel he mumbles to himself, ‘that was a close one.’ Putting the weapon back in its holster he goes to the edge of the terrace and stands there, looking down.
A herd of cattle is crossing the road. A car stops for them. The herd crosses the road and the car drives on.
A herd of cattle is crossing the road. A car stops for them. A huge buffalo comes to a halt in the centre of the road, lifts its tail and defecates on the car’s bonnet.
A herd of cattle is crossing the road. A car collides with them, knocking down a huge buffalo, and speeds away.
‘They’ve started with the Time Flickers again!’ announces Stagger Lee bursting back into the room where the others are gathered. General consternation and chaos. General Scam passes out with the excitement of it all.
