T'Q Magazine (for adult Jaffa men.)

[Dave]

I’ve just found out that my local newsagents stocks that magazine that Teal’c reads.
And it’s not just pictures of Tok’ra babes!
There are some really good articles in it, honest!

In the action packed issue no.1, on sale now: -

“Oprah makes first contact with space aliens.â€
“Egyptian mummy is father of my child.â€
“Goa’uld’s stole my baby.â€
“Goa’uld death glider, found on the moon.â€
“Elvis Lives! Yes, he’s been a Tok’ra since 1976.â€
“Stunning Gater wear.â€
“Aliens prefer New-age music.â€
“Our mother ship was hijacked by humans.â€
“10 signs that your larvae is ready to leave you.â€
“Your problems – with Dr. Fraiser.â€
“I was spanked by Apophis!â€
“Is your larva growing fast enough?â€
“Valentine’s Day – How to light up the eyes of your partner?â€
“Alien readers wives.â€
“I had a human baby!â€
“Holidays – Timeshares on alien planets.†& “ What to pack for your Gate trip.â€
“Extra peace of mind – Get Stargate breakdown cover.â€
“NEED a Goa’uld death glider – but you can’t get CREDIT?â€
“I married a Human.â€
“Need a passport or green card – no questions asked?â€
“Facial hair – Do women like men with a bit of animal in them?â€
“Carve your stomach the O.J. way.â€
“Screwworm horror: Deadly bugs are eating people alive – from the inside outâ€
“126 reasons why you should ver drink alcohol while singing a song of lament.â€
“I was too fat to have a larva.â€


Frighteningly, some of these have been REAL headlines! Guess which ones?

Any suggestions for the second issue?

 

[jsc]

I think on the Problems With Dr.Frasier only Jack,Teal'c and Daniel had better answer that at least according to Teryl Rothery she and someone have an ust relationship that could be developed in season 5.

 

[Dave]

....just a few more.

“Where were YOU when Naquada were 2.5c? (Today they’re 3900$)â€
“Win a holiday that’s out of this worldâ€
"Dial Home Devices - We Test 12 of the best."

 

[SGPflughaupt]

"Gate Travel...USAF doctor claim leads to psychosis"

"Single brown snake seeks Single Human for lifelong relationship.."

 

[Dave]

Excellent. MORE PLEASE, ANYONE? I've ran out of ideas.

 

[Dave]

"My teenage son wants to be a host!"

"Bust Your Gut ....with out high impact work-out routine."

"Sarcophagus ....refreshes the parts nothing else can reach."

 

[Raptor]

" Vacations on Netu- A Hellishly good time!"

 

[Dave]

Teen Jaffa Makeovers.

Earth Outside.

Distinctive Stone Accommodation: Lighting for rooms without windows.

TITANIC WAS SUNK BY REPLICATOR!

WATER FOUND ON MOON IS JAFFA PEE!

 

[MsGudBod]

Symbiant good for the Yang!

 

[Dave]

And all those adverts for 'Jaffa Cakes' with the orangy bit in the middle.

 

[MsGudBod]

Just a cover.

 

[MsGudBod]

"Gao'uld Does a Body Good"

Pass it on.

 

[Dave]

'Refreshes the parts other aliens cannot reach!'

 

[MsGudBod]

"Slimmy, yet satisfing"

 

[Dave]

'Be Realy Refreshed'

'Things Go Better With a Goa'uld'

'It's the Real Thing'

'Goa'uld Adds Life'

'Goa'uld is It'

'You Can't Beat the Feeling'

 

[Jessa]

Hellooooooo!!!
I just want to personally thank everyone who wished me luck in my maths exam cos i think i did pretty well!! YIPPPPEEEE!!!! I STAY IN SET 1!!!! :rolly2:

 

[MsGudBod]

Love them Dave.

Glad you did well Jessa.


How about this one:

"Got Goa'uld?"

 

[Dave]

Some more adapted advertising slogans:

"That full stomach sensation!"

"Doesn't your larvae deserve it!"

"Don't leave home without it!"

"Reach out and inhabit someone!"

"The power to be your best!"

"Promise her anything, but give her a larva."

"You too can have a body like mine!"

"Larve works wonders!"

"When you've got it, flaunt it!"

"Nothing comes between a Goa'uld and his First Prime!"

"If I've only one life, let me live it as a Jaffa!"

 

[jsc]

LOLLOL!!! Wonderful!

 

[hyacintheve]

Hey Dave! You're good!

Congrats, Jessa!