Firstly, if anyone would like to post this elsewhere, that's fine with me. Please just give me proper credit as this baby took ages to transcribe.
Thanks,
Hadley
ewlyn.hispeed.com/scullyxena
---
THIS POST CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR A FRIEND IN NEED!
If you're under the age of, let's say, 16, stop now and don't read any further. This was on a show not made for kids and there's some stuff in it your parents probably don't want you reading. (I know, I've just created total temptation.) Also, there are some swears and stuff in the below transcript.
I'm serious!
Ok... channel 4 in the UK has been having these "Top Ten TV" shows - things like villains and stuff. Last Saturday they had "Top Ten TV Sex Bombs" which Jerry Hall hosted and for which Xena/Lucy Lawless was #10.
This is a transcript of it because I thought it was rather good and since I know not many got to see it. I apologize now that I don't have the means to get it converted into realplayer or whatever so everyone can see it.
It featured Lucy, Renee, Ted Raimi, and Rob Tapert. I think the interviews were filmed recently as Renee is clearly pregnant in it.
During the intro which was a 'what is a sex bomb?' segment both Lucy and Ted were quoted. Their quotes were:
Lucy: She's gotta have the X factor.
Ted: No, you kidding me? Everyone wants boobs and ass... I mean, it'll always be that way.
This is a transcript of the Xena section:
Jerry Hall: Ok, pay attention. Let's start with a lesson in Greek mythology with a gladiatorial goddess who's breastplate had that X factor.
Shot of Xena rising out of the water from "Altared States".
Xena: Didn't your mother ever teach you it's rude to stare?
Clips from the Xena opening credits.
Ted Raimi: She's a tough, sexy bitch.
Lucy Lawless: She's a bitch, but likable.
More shots of opening credits.
Renee O'Connor: She was strong, intelligent... but she was also beautiful.
More shots of opening credits.
Ted: If you ask a guy, it's totally fantasy time.
Male Narrator: The reality behind the fantasy is Lucy Lawless from New Zealand. A teenage mom who became a beauty queen.
Shot of Lucy and Daisy(?) at a playground. Daisy looks to be about 4.
Narrator: In 1990 she was a fitness instructor when she auditioned for a new, American action series.
Shots of Lucy doing aerobics - seemingly for a workout tape.
Rob Tapert: I went down to New Zealand and met Lucy that night and I thought she was crazy.
Shot of Lucy at an unknown public event.
Lucy: Unbeknownst to him, I was going through a marriage breakdown and I was sitting blubbing in the corner at some party.
Rob: She showed up at dinner in this like real tight school marmot(?) and I went, oh, she is crazy.
Lucy: He turned to the producer and went, 'Are you kidding me? This is the girl we're going to base a series on? This is going to be a complete disaster.'
Shot of Xena running. Shots from opening credits.
Narrator: But on screen, Lawless was flawless.
Voice over from "Callisto" to various images of Xena fighting.
Xena: Some call me the warrior princess. Some call me murderer.
Narrator: She was in fact a butch woman in a pagan never, never land seeking redemption for her wicked past with the help of her sensitive sidekick.
Shot of Xena and Gabrielle in the boat from the beginning of "The Price".
Renee: Gabrielle saw in Xena everything she thought she could be and decided she was going to be her best friend for the rest of Xena's life. (laughs)
Lucy: Big chick and a little chick... righting wrongs and singing songs.
Shot from the end of "The Lost Mariner" of Xena and Gabrielle walking down the beach with their arms around each other.
Xena: Well, like you said. Just another average day.
Lucy: I went out of my way to make Xena as male as possible. She's the kind of woman you can sit down and have a beer with. She doesn't talk that much. She's not going to say 'Does my ass look big in this?'
Narrator: No... but a couple of other things do.
Shot of Xena as "cherish" in "The Royal Couple of Thieves".
Renee: She was the brut. She was the hard core woman who could take on ten men at a time.
Shot of Xena kicking butt from the beginning of "Altared States".
Lucy: I'll tell you a secret. The armbands were kinda Xena because they made you look like you have biceps and I have none and I never did.
Scene from "A Day in the Life" with Gabrielle cutting apart a fish with the chakram.
Xena: Gabrielle...
Narrator: Xena favorite plaything was a large ring.
Xena: What do you think you're doing?
Narrator: She called it her chakram.
Xena: That's just great! It's going to smell like fish for days!
Lucy: Oh, loved the chakram. Because you just throwed it and it does all the work and then you catch it.
Shot of the chakram doing its thing.
Narrator: And you thought this was just a kid's show?
Ted: Kids were sitting there and you'd go 'Oh, a kid show! Great!' And then in the next episode Xena's grabbing a guys head and going (sound effect of cutting off someone's head with hand motions) and lopping it off.
Shot of Xena cutting the throat of one of the hoard from "The Price".
Gabrielle: NO!
Lucy: It really was not made for children.
Narrator: No, there was a whole other market in mind.
Shot of Xena from "A Day in the Life" in slow motion with her wet hair.
Hower: ...beautiful!
Lucy: They like a tough girl in leather. They might want to go to bed with them but they don't want to take them home to mother. You know. They don't want to have to come home to them every night... too scary.
Shot of Xena and Gabrielle with their dirty feet from "A Day in the Life".
Gabrielle: Another one's fallen for you.
Xena: Again? Why does this always happen?
Gabrielle: It's the blue eyes. The leather. Some guys just love leather.
Renee: I think everyone likes a woman in leather. (laughs)
Ted: It's true, there is that certain fantasy. Also the whip fantasy. She's got a whip.
Shot of Xena pulling Autolycus down the stairs with her whip from "The Royal Couple of Thieves".
Narrator: Xena liked to fight hard. She also liked to play hard.
Shot of Xena and Lucifer having a picnic from "Heart of Darkness".
Xena: It's not often I meet an advisery who's other attributes equal his prowess with a sword.
Rob: Xena had a real affinity towards bad boys.
Xena giving Draco a back massage from "A Comedy of Eros".
Darco: Oh, you're good. You're very good.
Xena: I have many skills.
Ted: She likes the big tough warrior types.
Xena: Draco...
Ted: She behaves like a man. She finds good looking guys, she gets laid, she's done, kicks them out. 'I've got work to do. I've got cities to save. Get out. Go!'
Shot of Xena talking to Ulysses.
Xena: I give you a few smiles and a kiss and you're convinced that I'm in love with you? You're kidding yourself. You're not my type.
Narrator: The genitals were all wrong for a start...
Rob: When we started Xena the one directive we were given was that this was not a lesbian show.
Narrator: So they were careful to avoid any lesbian innuendo.
Shot of Xena and Gabrielle in the tub from "A Day in the Life".
Xena: Are you sitting on the soap?
Gabrielle: I was wondering what that was.
Renee: What else do you do when you have no one else traveling with you? Somebody has to scrub your back.
Lucy: Yeah. I always liked that she might have been or she might not have been.
Ted: Joxer isn't even sure if they're gay.
Shot of Xena, Gabrielle, and Joxer from "Been There, Done That".
Joxer: Is that a hickey?
Ted: And he's always wondering, you know? There's always little looks that they give each other and he looks around and goes. 'Are they gay? Are they not gay?'
Rob: I'd say they sexually experimented.
Shot of Xena and Gabrielle fishing in "Altared States"
Xena: Come on Gabrielle, you've been wanting to do this for ages.
Narrator: They teased the audience and each other.
Gabrielle: I did it!
Lucy: The lesbian community really ceased Xena and took it as their own.
Shot of "The Marching Xenas" doing the Xena battle cry.
Narrator: Who are these people?
Ted: Fantasy and Science Fiction fans are generally of a pretty secluded nature. You know, to put it kindly.
Paul Collins, Xena Fan: I wish I had a friend that was the sort of dedicated as Gabrielle is. Or as Xena is.
Lucy: Oh yeah, there's a lot of fans... (giggles) we shouldn't even talk about them.
Paul: Yeah, if either of them played their cards right, they could have me.
Lucy: (does a mums the word hum.)
Narrator: Sadly, Xena's unique blend of Sapphic promise and extreme violence is no more. The final show was filmed last year.
Shot of Xena mounting Argo.
Lucy: For me, it came as a relief. Because it was exhausting.
Shot of Xena getting her face bashed into the tree in "Destiny".
Ted: It was nice to go out as one of the number one shows, you know? It felt really good.
Renee: We wanted to go out with a bang, and I think we did.
Narrator: Yes, that sort of a bang. The show climaxed with Xena at last confirming her sexual orientation.
Shot from "A Friend in Need 2" with Xena and Gabrielle "passing water/kissing".
Lucy: I couldn't believe it. I came and I went 'She's gay!'
Narrator: But their love affair was cut short, literally.
Shot of Xena's death at the beginning of "A Friend in Need 2"
Narrator: Beheaded. And just as things were getting interesting.
Lucy: It was a cool show. I'm very proud of it.
Shot of Xena punching a guard.
Xena: Nice try.
Total running time: 7 minutes, 11 seconds
I'd like to note that I was amused by them crediting Ted as "Joxer (Xena's other sidekick)" at one point.
Screengrabs can be seen at: www.xenaville.com/topten/grabs.html
Thanks,
Hadley
ewlyn.hispeed.com/scullyxena
---
THIS POST CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR A FRIEND IN NEED!
If you're under the age of, let's say, 16, stop now and don't read any further. This was on a show not made for kids and there's some stuff in it your parents probably don't want you reading. (I know, I've just created total temptation.) Also, there are some swears and stuff in the below transcript.
I'm serious!
Ok... channel 4 in the UK has been having these "Top Ten TV" shows - things like villains and stuff. Last Saturday they had "Top Ten TV Sex Bombs" which Jerry Hall hosted and for which Xena/Lucy Lawless was #10.
This is a transcript of it because I thought it was rather good and since I know not many got to see it. I apologize now that I don't have the means to get it converted into realplayer or whatever so everyone can see it.
It featured Lucy, Renee, Ted Raimi, and Rob Tapert. I think the interviews were filmed recently as Renee is clearly pregnant in it.
During the intro which was a 'what is a sex bomb?' segment both Lucy and Ted were quoted. Their quotes were:
Lucy: She's gotta have the X factor.
Ted: No, you kidding me? Everyone wants boobs and ass... I mean, it'll always be that way.
This is a transcript of the Xena section:
Jerry Hall: Ok, pay attention. Let's start with a lesson in Greek mythology with a gladiatorial goddess who's breastplate had that X factor.
Shot of Xena rising out of the water from "Altared States".
Xena: Didn't your mother ever teach you it's rude to stare?
Clips from the Xena opening credits.
Ted Raimi: She's a tough, sexy bitch.
Lucy Lawless: She's a bitch, but likable.
More shots of opening credits.
Renee O'Connor: She was strong, intelligent... but she was also beautiful.
More shots of opening credits.
Ted: If you ask a guy, it's totally fantasy time.
Male Narrator: The reality behind the fantasy is Lucy Lawless from New Zealand. A teenage mom who became a beauty queen.
Shot of Lucy and Daisy(?) at a playground. Daisy looks to be about 4.
Narrator: In 1990 she was a fitness instructor when she auditioned for a new, American action series.
Shots of Lucy doing aerobics - seemingly for a workout tape.
Rob Tapert: I went down to New Zealand and met Lucy that night and I thought she was crazy.
Shot of Lucy at an unknown public event.
Lucy: Unbeknownst to him, I was going through a marriage breakdown and I was sitting blubbing in the corner at some party.
Rob: She showed up at dinner in this like real tight school marmot(?) and I went, oh, she is crazy.
Lucy: He turned to the producer and went, 'Are you kidding me? This is the girl we're going to base a series on? This is going to be a complete disaster.'
Shot of Xena running. Shots from opening credits.
Narrator: But on screen, Lawless was flawless.
Voice over from "Callisto" to various images of Xena fighting.
Xena: Some call me the warrior princess. Some call me murderer.
Narrator: She was in fact a butch woman in a pagan never, never land seeking redemption for her wicked past with the help of her sensitive sidekick.
Shot of Xena and Gabrielle in the boat from the beginning of "The Price".
Renee: Gabrielle saw in Xena everything she thought she could be and decided she was going to be her best friend for the rest of Xena's life. (laughs)
Lucy: Big chick and a little chick... righting wrongs and singing songs.
Shot from the end of "The Lost Mariner" of Xena and Gabrielle walking down the beach with their arms around each other.
Xena: Well, like you said. Just another average day.
Lucy: I went out of my way to make Xena as male as possible. She's the kind of woman you can sit down and have a beer with. She doesn't talk that much. She's not going to say 'Does my ass look big in this?'
Narrator: No... but a couple of other things do.
Shot of Xena as "cherish" in "The Royal Couple of Thieves".
Renee: She was the brut. She was the hard core woman who could take on ten men at a time.
Shot of Xena kicking butt from the beginning of "Altared States".
Lucy: I'll tell you a secret. The armbands were kinda Xena because they made you look like you have biceps and I have none and I never did.
Scene from "A Day in the Life" with Gabrielle cutting apart a fish with the chakram.
Xena: Gabrielle...
Narrator: Xena favorite plaything was a large ring.
Xena: What do you think you're doing?
Narrator: She called it her chakram.
Xena: That's just great! It's going to smell like fish for days!
Lucy: Oh, loved the chakram. Because you just throwed it and it does all the work and then you catch it.
Shot of the chakram doing its thing.
Narrator: And you thought this was just a kid's show?
Ted: Kids were sitting there and you'd go 'Oh, a kid show! Great!' And then in the next episode Xena's grabbing a guys head and going (sound effect of cutting off someone's head with hand motions) and lopping it off.
Shot of Xena cutting the throat of one of the hoard from "The Price".
Gabrielle: NO!
Lucy: It really was not made for children.
Narrator: No, there was a whole other market in mind.
Shot of Xena from "A Day in the Life" in slow motion with her wet hair.
Hower: ...beautiful!
Lucy: They like a tough girl in leather. They might want to go to bed with them but they don't want to take them home to mother. You know. They don't want to have to come home to them every night... too scary.
Shot of Xena and Gabrielle with their dirty feet from "A Day in the Life".
Gabrielle: Another one's fallen for you.
Xena: Again? Why does this always happen?
Gabrielle: It's the blue eyes. The leather. Some guys just love leather.
Renee: I think everyone likes a woman in leather. (laughs)
Ted: It's true, there is that certain fantasy. Also the whip fantasy. She's got a whip.
Shot of Xena pulling Autolycus down the stairs with her whip from "The Royal Couple of Thieves".
Narrator: Xena liked to fight hard. She also liked to play hard.
Shot of Xena and Lucifer having a picnic from "Heart of Darkness".
Xena: It's not often I meet an advisery who's other attributes equal his prowess with a sword.
Rob: Xena had a real affinity towards bad boys.
Xena giving Draco a back massage from "A Comedy of Eros".
Darco: Oh, you're good. You're very good.
Xena: I have many skills.
Ted: She likes the big tough warrior types.
Xena: Draco...
Ted: She behaves like a man. She finds good looking guys, she gets laid, she's done, kicks them out. 'I've got work to do. I've got cities to save. Get out. Go!'
Shot of Xena talking to Ulysses.
Xena: I give you a few smiles and a kiss and you're convinced that I'm in love with you? You're kidding yourself. You're not my type.
Narrator: The genitals were all wrong for a start...
Rob: When we started Xena the one directive we were given was that this was not a lesbian show.
Narrator: So they were careful to avoid any lesbian innuendo.
Shot of Xena and Gabrielle in the tub from "A Day in the Life".
Xena: Are you sitting on the soap?
Gabrielle: I was wondering what that was.
Renee: What else do you do when you have no one else traveling with you? Somebody has to scrub your back.
Lucy: Yeah. I always liked that she might have been or she might not have been.
Ted: Joxer isn't even sure if they're gay.
Shot of Xena, Gabrielle, and Joxer from "Been There, Done That".
Joxer: Is that a hickey?
Ted: And he's always wondering, you know? There's always little looks that they give each other and he looks around and goes. 'Are they gay? Are they not gay?'
Rob: I'd say they sexually experimented.
Shot of Xena and Gabrielle fishing in "Altared States"
Xena: Come on Gabrielle, you've been wanting to do this for ages.
Narrator: They teased the audience and each other.
Gabrielle: I did it!
Lucy: The lesbian community really ceased Xena and took it as their own.
Shot of "The Marching Xenas" doing the Xena battle cry.
Narrator: Who are these people?
Ted: Fantasy and Science Fiction fans are generally of a pretty secluded nature. You know, to put it kindly.
Paul Collins, Xena Fan: I wish I had a friend that was the sort of dedicated as Gabrielle is. Or as Xena is.
Lucy: Oh yeah, there's a lot of fans... (giggles) we shouldn't even talk about them.
Paul: Yeah, if either of them played their cards right, they could have me.
Lucy: (does a mums the word hum.)
Narrator: Sadly, Xena's unique blend of Sapphic promise and extreme violence is no more. The final show was filmed last year.
Shot of Xena mounting Argo.
Lucy: For me, it came as a relief. Because it was exhausting.
Shot of Xena getting her face bashed into the tree in "Destiny".
Ted: It was nice to go out as one of the number one shows, you know? It felt really good.
Renee: We wanted to go out with a bang, and I think we did.
Narrator: Yes, that sort of a bang. The show climaxed with Xena at last confirming her sexual orientation.
Shot from "A Friend in Need 2" with Xena and Gabrielle "passing water/kissing".
Lucy: I couldn't believe it. I came and I went 'She's gay!'
Narrator: But their love affair was cut short, literally.
Shot of Xena's death at the beginning of "A Friend in Need 2"
Narrator: Beheaded. And just as things were getting interesting.
Lucy: It was a cool show. I'm very proud of it.
Shot of Xena punching a guard.
Xena: Nice try.
Total running time: 7 minutes, 11 seconds
I'd like to note that I was amused by them crediting Ted as "Joxer (Xena's other sidekick)" at one point.
Screengrabs can be seen at: www.xenaville.com/topten/grabs.html
