Things you'll never hear Yoda say...

[Dave]

I've seen loads of these, very funny. Mostly too crude and rude to post here though! Anyway, I know we could come up with some equally as funny. Who wants to try?

 

[Dave]

OK, I'll start off with some:

Luke, don't ask what the Force can do for you.. But what you can do for the Force.

All that Obi-Wan taught you? Forget it!

When 900 years old you reach, get as many chicks you will not!

From a 900 year old? English perfect not!

I cannot teach him. Land an X-wing, he cannot even!

No...there is another. Let's hope as stupid, she is not!

Luke, forget training today.. I think we ought to have a talk. Nobody's taught you the facts of life yet and you're nearly...

Anger, fear, merchandising...the Dark Side are they!

 

[Lonewolf89]

ROTFL, these are great, Dave! I'll try to come up with some.

 

[Prophet4Profit]

Considering the PG nature of the prequals, I can think of many things that yoda would never say...

 

[neXus_6]

I was just about to edit the post!!!

 

[neXus_6]

Okay, here's a little bit more of a cleaner one:

Top 12 Things Uttered by Yoda While Making Love (CLEAN).

"Ahhh! Yoda's little friend seek you!"

"Excuse me while I put a shield on my saber, Sweetheart."

"Now you know why they put one of me in every Happy Meal, do you."

"Cuddling, afterplay -- a Jedi craves not these things."

"Down here, I am. Find a ladder, must I!"

"Do me or do me not -- there is no try."

"Early must I rise. Leave now must you!"

"You know, this would be a lot more fun without Frank Oz's hand up my ass."

"Happens to every guy sometimes this does."

"When 900 years old you get, Viagra you need too, hmmmmm?"

"Who's your Jedi master? WHO'S your Jedi Master?"

"Ow, ow, OW! On my ear you are!"

 

[Cpt Larraq]

"Who the man? Yo da man, I is! Hah! Get it?"
"Amidala, choose me! Forget Anakin, you will!"
"Palpatine is a friend, rely on him, I will!"
"Frank Oz, my master, he is!"
"Fear is the path to the light side..."

 

[Technomage]

A burger without fries, a meal is not!

To find love, you must love to find!

Jar-Jar Binks, my idea, he was not!

 

[Diamond9697]

*snickers*

 

[DCBastien]

Around the Survivors, a little-watched, over-hyped gameshow, create!

 

[Diamond9697]

I cannot teach him. IQ of 30 has he. Hangs upside down in ice caves.

Duct Tape...the Force it is like. Both a light side and a dark side it has. Binds the universe together it does!

 

[DCBastien]

Although Jedi Master you be, too big for bending over knee and spanking you are not, Qui-Gon! :evil: :blush:

 

[HeyLynny]

Diamond, That Duct tape line is hysterical!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Tabitha]

Originally posted by Diamond9697

Duct Tape...the Force it is like. Both a light side and a dark side it has. Binds the universe together it does!

ROFLMAO!
Philosophical to boot

 

[HeyLynny]

Luke....Your sister she is, so kiss her no more.


Small I may be, but my light saber is bigger than yours!

 

[DCBastien]

Mace, not the one who gets all the chicks, are you, just as "badass" written on your lightsabre it is.

To Obi-Wan: So told you did I.

 

[Dave]

Jar Jar Binks, genius he is.

 

[DCBastien]

Originally posted by Dave
Jar Jar Binks, genius he is.

NO! NO! You hurt my ears, Dave! *g* ROTFLMAO!

 

[HeyLynny]

Originally posted by Dave
Jar Jar Binks, genius he is.

FUNNY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Diamond9697]

*rofl* oh my...that ones hilarious