Hatshepsut
WELCOME HOME, DR. JACKSON
- Joined
- Jan 12, 2002
- Messages
- 582
Stargate Command Auction and Rummage Sale.
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Closing Down Sale ~ Everything Must Go!
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Main item: One Stargate - in need of a service and new battery owing to standing idle for long periods. Would make attractive ornamental feature for the garden.
Lot 1: X-301 intercept fighter: adapted from two Goa'uld Death Gliders to the highest specification. Check carefully for homing devices before use, or you may find your journey taking longer than you'd planned.
Lot 2: Zatarc Detection Machine - suspect your relatives or neighbours may have been subject to alien programming with a view to getting their hands on your assets? This is the ideal solution. Test it on all your friends. Use with caution if they are known to experience suicidal feelings.
Lot 3: White marble throne, property of the late System Lord, Chronos. (We already have a sealed bid in on that one.)
Lot 4: Jaffa staff weapon - one careful owner. Guaranteed never to miss.
Lot 5: Two dozen Jaffa staff weapons (also available as single items.) Having problems with pigeons or neighbours' pets in your garden, but don't really want to hurt the little beggars? These are ideal as they are designed to instil terror in the victim, but actual contact with the target is highly unlikely and entirely accidental.
Lot 6: Crystal skull (pale pink) - almost life-sized, carefully moulded from genuine transparent polypropylene - guaranteed not to chip or shatter. One look at its flawless features will take you out of this world.
Lot 7: Touchstone weather moderating gadget - make sure the sun shines on your wedding, garden party, beach barbecue or fund-raising event. Caution: owner must read instruction manual thoroughly. Failure to do so may result in hurricanes or blizzards shortly after use.
Clothing bin: assorted B.D.U.s - one Colonel's blue dress uniform including hat - one black leather jacket - one figure-hugging electric blue frock with matching beaded head dress and veil - large quantity of bandages, suitable for use as a mummy costume for your fancy-dress party.
N.B. This is not a full list. Further items will appear on your final inventory programme.
Warning: while we do take precautions against theft, thieves are known to operate at such events. If you see someone who looks like he's going to an audition for a toothpaste/denture fixative ad., please keep your hand on your wallet. Thank you.
Best wishes,
Hatshepsut :wave:
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*+*+*+*+*+*Advance Notice*+*+*+*+*+*
Closing Down Sale ~ Everything Must Go!
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+**+*+*+*+*+*+*
Main item: One Stargate - in need of a service and new battery owing to standing idle for long periods. Would make attractive ornamental feature for the garden.
Lot 1: X-301 intercept fighter: adapted from two Goa'uld Death Gliders to the highest specification. Check carefully for homing devices before use, or you may find your journey taking longer than you'd planned.
Lot 2: Zatarc Detection Machine - suspect your relatives or neighbours may have been subject to alien programming with a view to getting their hands on your assets? This is the ideal solution. Test it on all your friends. Use with caution if they are known to experience suicidal feelings.
Lot 3: White marble throne, property of the late System Lord, Chronos. (We already have a sealed bid in on that one.)
Lot 4: Jaffa staff weapon - one careful owner. Guaranteed never to miss.
Lot 5: Two dozen Jaffa staff weapons (also available as single items.) Having problems with pigeons or neighbours' pets in your garden, but don't really want to hurt the little beggars? These are ideal as they are designed to instil terror in the victim, but actual contact with the target is highly unlikely and entirely accidental.
Lot 6: Crystal skull (pale pink) - almost life-sized, carefully moulded from genuine transparent polypropylene - guaranteed not to chip or shatter. One look at its flawless features will take you out of this world.
Lot 7: Touchstone weather moderating gadget - make sure the sun shines on your wedding, garden party, beach barbecue or fund-raising event. Caution: owner must read instruction manual thoroughly. Failure to do so may result in hurricanes or blizzards shortly after use.
Clothing bin: assorted B.D.U.s - one Colonel's blue dress uniform including hat - one black leather jacket - one figure-hugging electric blue frock with matching beaded head dress and veil - large quantity of bandages, suitable for use as a mummy costume for your fancy-dress party.
N.B. This is not a full list. Further items will appear on your final inventory programme.
Warning: while we do take precautions against theft, thieves are known to operate at such events. If you see someone who looks like he's going to an audition for a toothpaste/denture fixative ad., please keep your hand on your wallet. Thank you.
Best wishes,
Hatshepsut :wave:
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