King Donut
KiNg DoNuT Club Starter!
- Joined
- Jun 26, 2002
- Messages
- 68
*please note this fic is rated, uh, PG-13.
*
SO, YOU WANNA BE IN PAIN AND SUFFERING FOR ALL ETERNITY?
One night I went over to this guy's place and got drunk and did drugs and stuff - at least I think I did 'cause I woke up the next morning in a completely different part of the neighbourhood, which I couldn't reconise and I was wearing a large, fluffy coat which belonged to someone called Miss Rodney.
I found my way back home and everyone hated me so much that they moved house and left it to me: all I have now is the TV, a small room, a near-empty cupboard and a chocolate muffin.
I left home five minutes later and stole some dead guy's wallet and went to the bank where I can get his money from the guy's account.
Apparently, he was rich - fifty-five billion dollarpounds!
So I hid the body, took the money from the bank and brought a new home: a huge mansion that comes with a free TV!
Later I got really bored and went to that guy's house again where I ended up with Miss Rodney's large, fluffy coat and had no memory of what happened at the party.
I got reeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaally drunk and got kicked out of the party and fell asleep on the streets with all my money taken from me, my house has been destroyed and they all went for a joy ride in the fastest car in the world (which they brought with my money!) and died.
They drove the car into a school and crashed around there for a couple of hours, left, picked up some terrorists who were carrying a bomb and crashed the car straight into a petrol station.
The bomb went off at the same time, the driver went flying out through the windscreen and landed head-first into a chainsaw, which a headless psycho (who was ten seconds away from dying) left there - and the chainsaw was still on.
I woke up on the streets with no memory of what happned, removed some strange powder from my nose and walked into a lamp post.
I cried, "Aw, Ier Goannaop bi sieck!" and threw up on a dead cat.
I stopped puking after thirty seconds, got up and slipped over a banna skin, which a tramp left lying around and crashed backwards into a pile of old dustbins.
i tried to get up but I felt really dizzy and fell back to sleep.
Two days later i got back up, still pretty dizzy and went to a portable toilet and sat down.
That was at nine o'clock in the morning.
At ten o'clock in the afternoon I felt a little better, still slightly dizzy, so i got off the toilet, opened the door and went to a party at someone else's house.
I'm not quite sure how it happened but somehow my head ended up in the sink in the bathroom.
I took my head out, waited for a couple of hours until my hair was completely dry and left the bathroom.
The party was over and me and two girls were the only ones there.
I woke up.
When did I fall asleep?
I can't remember but I got out of the bed, put my clothes back on and looked around.
This wasn't my home - I'm still at the house where the party was and its seven o'clock in the morning.
I walked towards the door and left the house into the streets where I met someone who was a member of some secret club and I joined.
I don't remmeber much of it - except their symbol was a circle with a round hole in the middle. Possibly a bad drawing of a donut. Or I'm just still drunk - but I feel fine.
Soon, I don't know how, I was involved with these really important people. had this strangest feeling they were drug dealers or something.
I remember that I got really annoyed with them at a resteraunt. I was shouting thigs like "Yuuu gi's suck!" and "Yu bluddy idotz!" and weird things like that, which some people figured out what they meant by the sound.
I remember going back to my new office that the club members gave me - and someone enetered the room to punish me.
I took out my new silver pistol from under the desk and shot him three times: twice in the stomach and once in the head.
I never even looked back at the body from out of the shadows to see if it was a club member.
"Urgh..." I groaned. I couldn't really saw much in the last couple of days and nights.
I fell asleep at the desk. Deliberatly that time.
I needed some sleep.
There was a loud crushing noise and a very bright, whitish-blue light shined upon me and i woke up to see what it was.
And there was a dark figure coming out from the light and...
Everything went black.
When i woke up I found myself in a place which looked like Hell.
To be continued...
*SO, YOU WANNA BE IN PAIN AND SUFFERING FOR ALL ETERNITY?
One night I went over to this guy's place and got drunk and did drugs and stuff - at least I think I did 'cause I woke up the next morning in a completely different part of the neighbourhood, which I couldn't reconise and I was wearing a large, fluffy coat which belonged to someone called Miss Rodney.
I found my way back home and everyone hated me so much that they moved house and left it to me: all I have now is the TV, a small room, a near-empty cupboard and a chocolate muffin.
I left home five minutes later and stole some dead guy's wallet and went to the bank where I can get his money from the guy's account.
Apparently, he was rich - fifty-five billion dollarpounds!
So I hid the body, took the money from the bank and brought a new home: a huge mansion that comes with a free TV!
Later I got really bored and went to that guy's house again where I ended up with Miss Rodney's large, fluffy coat and had no memory of what happened at the party.
I got reeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaally drunk and got kicked out of the party and fell asleep on the streets with all my money taken from me, my house has been destroyed and they all went for a joy ride in the fastest car in the world (which they brought with my money!) and died.
They drove the car into a school and crashed around there for a couple of hours, left, picked up some terrorists who were carrying a bomb and crashed the car straight into a petrol station.
The bomb went off at the same time, the driver went flying out through the windscreen and landed head-first into a chainsaw, which a headless psycho (who was ten seconds away from dying) left there - and the chainsaw was still on.
I woke up on the streets with no memory of what happned, removed some strange powder from my nose and walked into a lamp post.
I cried, "Aw, Ier Goannaop bi sieck!" and threw up on a dead cat.
I stopped puking after thirty seconds, got up and slipped over a banna skin, which a tramp left lying around and crashed backwards into a pile of old dustbins.
i tried to get up but I felt really dizzy and fell back to sleep.
Two days later i got back up, still pretty dizzy and went to a portable toilet and sat down.
That was at nine o'clock in the morning.
At ten o'clock in the afternoon I felt a little better, still slightly dizzy, so i got off the toilet, opened the door and went to a party at someone else's house.
I'm not quite sure how it happened but somehow my head ended up in the sink in the bathroom.
I took my head out, waited for a couple of hours until my hair was completely dry and left the bathroom.
The party was over and me and two girls were the only ones there.
I woke up.
When did I fall asleep?
I can't remember but I got out of the bed, put my clothes back on and looked around.
This wasn't my home - I'm still at the house where the party was and its seven o'clock in the morning.
I walked towards the door and left the house into the streets where I met someone who was a member of some secret club and I joined.
I don't remmeber much of it - except their symbol was a circle with a round hole in the middle. Possibly a bad drawing of a donut. Or I'm just still drunk - but I feel fine.
Soon, I don't know how, I was involved with these really important people. had this strangest feeling they were drug dealers or something.
I remember that I got really annoyed with them at a resteraunt. I was shouting thigs like "Yuuu gi's suck!" and "Yu bluddy idotz!" and weird things like that, which some people figured out what they meant by the sound.
I remember going back to my new office that the club members gave me - and someone enetered the room to punish me.
I took out my new silver pistol from under the desk and shot him three times: twice in the stomach and once in the head.
I never even looked back at the body from out of the shadows to see if it was a club member.
"Urgh..." I groaned. I couldn't really saw much in the last couple of days and nights.
I fell asleep at the desk. Deliberatly that time.
I needed some sleep.
There was a loud crushing noise and a very bright, whitish-blue light shined upon me and i woke up to see what it was.
And there was a dark figure coming out from the light and...
Everything went black.
When i woke up I found myself in a place which looked like Hell.
To be continued...
