Star Wars:the Future Within the Laeghhwiiene Battalions

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The order of the Jedi has reigned in purity for 120 years ,the great rebel alliance once led by Luke Skywalker and Leaih Skywalker has repealed it's legoins from warfare bringing temptation and oligarchical rulers to power.
The new vicious meeting grounds of the planet Laeghhwiiene have turned there once free multitudes of wealth,finally towards a direction of ill frought slavery and contempt for peace.
As the last steps to secure a bridge with great Tattoine and Corsecunt lay waste to fuedal viceroys the ancient order compells bitter union between waring factions,and the all emulative recourse of the hunt for a light of valiance within dwindiling warroirs and the last of the now feared and respected Jedi.

 

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The altitude operation scanner was chintsing betwwen one reading and another,while the pealed face of the crass girl made more hype of the view in her techviewer by jigging it a bit.Sure enough the firey spec was non-other than a ruff harness view of a spaceflyer rather than the emotional coutsy of occasionaly purged debris or meteors that actaully crash through to the surface.
With one extrra blink she turned off the spycam.Her companion was a daytime justice of littanies,her gaurdian,more a unkemot friend who was indeed paid to watch out for Tiehlsa's own good,but was never more than a false icon to her.
"what good does the study of meteoronics,or any space charting do the people who wish to be gallant pilots,and heros?"
"what are you on about,that crashing flyer,huhn probably just some recluse pilot with no ability to converge and diarythem the atmosphere of laehghhweiene".
"these ies you keep on promoting,they have some extra hatred of the great pilots,or empire elite,thats rebel elite too isn't it,you can't believe how well life has been scince the wars,don't speak,my future lays that way,such greatness and travesties I will never rescind from,as soon as I'm recogonized per the talent I can bring abot,the victories i can persue with furios rebel legions!"

 

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the sensless goings ons within the city centre of Lehgwisch,ever were a shadow of doubt to conjcerned good to do folks,and the children often goated eachother about witch fine rebel,or strange looking mercenary was the next great emire elitist,or respected rebel.
A shooken melted in spots and unduring pilot walked through the front of the entertainment and market area.His complete attention dwindled unstabley,from precoius looking foods to silly or mercyfull constituants of the crowd pleasing boasters{most asked for money}.
"will you tell me stranger why you are so curdled,you may need healing help"a older man with grey robe attire and black gloves and a short wand of some sort asked.
"my name is Elgenked,i'm going to have to tell an important leader of what i have just lived through,the legion guard will know my name,please can you help me immediatley"
"I know such bravery as you're firey crash may get you appointed to the growing battalions,however it will take a great deal of problems to get to one of ou governs"

 

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the hall pale like the moratar and siding of most the structures revealed the end some fifty yards,from the building entrance,the strange old man followed behing Elgenked and the platics garbed gaudian loyal and repugnant to the cities governs:Elgenked turned to spy at his officer once,but the guard was tempid against any front,especially that of the blabbering waqylayn pilot.
"I,ve been known to this city,the respective ones,out of the aircraft training program I was honored at a ceremony" Elgenked
"these hopes for inclusion to the respected battaloin will be adressed ,pilot" gaurd
"Don't believe in yourself ritcheuos mere friend,the beliefs of the people are at a great turen about,your own respect is expected by the governs." elderly
The room revealed finally,had common articulations,two desks,a wall with certain written refrence military awards and pompferatu.The floor,however was metal and strong,the computer station built in to the wall beliad that of an operations room,though context of synchronicity made no other appeal from windows,to furniture or the harshly unintranced 3 high guards,two of wich spoke to eachother the third being kept afuze by the small metal sword model with held a electro pen used to sign documents.
"attention,commandent,this sultry pilot believes he has important information for the governs' battalions operation needs."
"the great barricade from here to Tattoine has\more problems than just the Battalions, patrol,it's......it's....."
"then you think we have a mid-purger,or rebel crash team on or project is it?Pilot?....."
"Elgenked"
"my commendations for making it through without prop[er identity,however what you say is surely contemptual of our control,do you think the governs will listen to a rogue fool with tales to tell?'
"yes,it is important to the great military soveirgnty of Laehghhwiien"
The lead gaurd looked at the elderly upset then went to the wall,unit,quickly refiling sevral buttons,then stared blankley and angrily at the guard who had led them there.
"Attention Mark 1 unit lead,the request to infer a word of the barricade has been made,please inform the governs,station 6 awaits you're reply"

 

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the tempid sunset had finally christened the beginning of the dark,flyers often had no lights,so when nite began there was less traffic,though people kept calm abobout seasons that change often the premise of night had ment a quarrel or two.
The outskirts of the east north part of leigwisch held a route from there to the nest city as well as the wet and grutchy forset,only several hundred yards from the dusty clearing of the cargo cartell facility.It was a grand star port to some degree,many places to hook into merchant recpricators,and patrolling Laeihghhweiiene soldiers.The beats found respit within its active movement,and the camouflage inceved stylus led to greater blending in for all types.
At the time of new calous referandum;the nite,two jed's were walking towards the twenty ft. path,occasionly marked with the technical overview equipment of each city.
"Ihave taken much time to be sure there are no new elitists to regard within this city,however,Gerqueel,there is a strange probelem seering our way to the city outskirts."
"may those who have such course of intentions as you remain apt to carry on what we have now left uncourted"
"no it is a impartiality about this place having one fortune or unseen warrior left within it's tell tale civility"
"we will return right now"Gerqueel stopped walking and looked elucidley at the city part of his elder,Marthengar,in view.
"no dear young jedi we will percieve the return as a last right of our stay here and if so the hope of greater alliance once sought shall bring to us that which is inevitable,that who is neccesary,congruency with the path of foretold quest to ensure the ancient wisdom is unstagnant."
As they began turn around and swistness to the merchant bay,strange sound pleeded from the forest.

 

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Elgenked turned a bitter eye to the two implicatley tempid,govern gaurds who arrived at the hall exit to take him and the elder to their next place.
"which wise scratcher is it that wishes to go to one of our gracious governs?"
"I am that,my news will be helpfull,and may even be the turn of battle against those who challange the blockade."
"very good,old citizen,you have the intrests of this pilot and the cities to infer?"gaurd 2
"i am here to be a mealevolent push between this brave man,and the proper conduct to the governs."
"we shall take you 2'
The noise provoked a flitting look from each jedi at first then they began an irrational placement of concentration.
"the butcheress sounds,are those Veashis words?"
"quickley"
The elder took his saber and twirled it one time and stepped finally deftly through the final tree thicket bracing the outskirts from the sounds.There three purple jheszepher beasts were brashing about a women in nice rich garb.She spoke Veashis at them but twice again they nipped her,blood was trickilng from three wounds.The elder swashed the first in half easily the other 2 scurried superfast up a tree,still "squelling"the other\jedi looked about as the women was helped to stand.A jheszepher jumped at his face he braced with non-saber arm then backflipped ,it attached.Turning the saber hetch wise he sifted the surface of the creature it jumped shocked biting the jedi's shoulder,but he threw his saber in the air pulling the beast off at the same time,caught the saber and swashed its neck as it piffed from his grab,towards the ground.The next one jumped at the women as they took a few steps away.It had greater teeth,but only got hold of a piece of her blouse.

 

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The jedi's and the ruflled yet pretensively satisfied with her rescue women,approached the cargos etc. area.The work remained alive ,now at night,several crafts were being unloaded:a vendor with sweet breads kept busy with customers.
"I am certain a piece of sweet bred will help us ,and you good friend."elder said to women.
"The strange creatures had a piece of me and were even going to take my life,yes,let's have a bread."
They approach and the elder pays for three pieces,the bay kept his concoiusness alive,for it was here he knew that many eyes looking could each lay the foray to his current adamant tempt to find the missing soldier,jedi,that made the presenence in the force at the city.
Teihlsa was getting a crate when she caught the jedi's eyes,she reeled from the passion of hope and storming intrest that put her in the collaberation of warriors pathos.
She set the crate and approached,watched,thinking that the sign of the crashing flyer was easily part and party to what was abou to be a conversation with jedi.
"these working places hire very attuned citizens,one such as you fine girl are surely awed with this place."
"My reason to be alive with the work i have here changes,but...what i reallt want to say is aren't thee a jedi,or could you help me make the way of strenght and will as the ancients who fought and now today a young girl as i wishes to learn?"
"Aaahh so my worth as a scot today lays many gifts,tell us you're name young padawan,for soon it shall be that the teachings shall reform the state of living you have,if you accept."
"I am Teihlsa."

 

[ray gower]

Interesting!
Not the story. There is not enough yet for an opinion. But for the style.
Very busy!

Not sure if it works yet, so please continue.

You do need to watch all the usual things that catch us all out, spelling, punctuation and capitalisation. It is quite off-putting, finding sentences and names starting with a lower case letter. Makes it harder to read than it need be.
The use of abreviations like etc. is also regarded frightfully bad form. We have a thread http://www.ascifi.com/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=9103 that might help you avoid some of the bloomers

 

[emimar]

Bit of advice. Put spaces between your paragraphs. It will make your story much easier to read. I don't have time to read it at the moment.