arc-en-ciel
Hell's Angel
- Joined
- Nov 7, 2001
- Messages
- 47
Some may think that Forever Knight is only a television show, and that TV shows can't truly make an impact on people's lives. I say they're wrong. TV *does* have an influence on people, for better or worse. I remember a story about two boys beating a girl to death because they were trying to be Power Rangers. As bad as that may seem, however, television programs can also influence young people for the better. Take me, for instance.
By 9th grade, I had become a huge fan of Forever Knight. The show, about an 800 year old vampire who tries to atone for the evils of his past, spoke to a part of me. My fascination with the show first began in 1994 with the episode "Killer Instinct". At the time, I was a disillusioned preteen, who saw the world as a harsh, cruel place where the strong prey on the weak. I desperately needed to know that Good was still a desirable state of existence, and Evil was still unacceptable. To say that I found that reassurance in a TV show may seem silly to some, but to me it meant the world.
It was also a reprieve from the circumstances of my life, a "mental vacation", a form of escape. To make a long story short, my life hadn't been all rainbows and lollipops. In fact, it was quite the opposite. My father, who never married my mother, vanished when I was two. My stepfather had taken to verbally/physically abusing me. And my mother was caught in the middle, working at ungodly hours, struggling to make end's meet, and never having time for her daughter. I had no friends; there was no one for me to vent my feelings to.
By junior year of high school, things had gotten significantly worse. My father had returned, only to disappear again about a year later. My mother was still struggling, and I still had no friends. My stepfather's abuse had escalated from mental/physical abuse to mental/physical/sexual abuse. I lived in constant turmoil and suffered from acute insomnia.
Then, on a sunny day, when the house was empty, I decided to end it all.
I grabbed a knife that had been laying conveniently on the kitchen table (my stepfather never puts anything away), and trudged gravely to the bathroom. I took a long hard look at myself in the mirror, and, as always, I didn't like what I saw. Deciding to just get it done and over with, I pulled up my sleeve, exposing my pale wrist. I raised the knife to slash it, but then I heard a voice in my head.
It was Nick's voice, the part in the final episode where he attempts to dissuade a killer from committing suicide, rang in my head. "You really don't want to die, do you?" I was convinced, and still am, that God was speaking to me through that familiar voice. The next thing I knew, the knife had clattered to the floor, and I was sitting on the edge of the bathtub, crying my eyes out.
At that moment, I knew what I had to do. I picked up the knife, walked back to the kitchen, and dropped the knife into the dishpan. Then I went back to my room and played the final episode, "Last Knight", in its entirety. The episode -- about suicide, death, and the loss of a loved one -- depicted vividly everything I was feeling. I began to cry again, because the meaning of both LaCroix's and Nick's words meant everything. Suddenly, life didn't seem so bad. If Nick could live with the deaths of thousands on his conscience, then I could live with my problems, too. By watching that episode, I learned that it takes far more courage to live than it does to die.
That was two years ago, and the road to recovery has been a long bumpy ride. But I'm getting there. By the grace of God, and thanks to a remembered line from an episode of my favourite TV show, I'm getting there. I know I have a long way to go, but now my future seems so much brighter. If it wasn't for Forever Knight, I wouldn't *have* a future. FK saved my life, and I will always remain indebted to the wonderful actors, writers, directors and producers who conceived of this brilliant show. My heartfelt thanks to them all.
*This* is why we need Forever Knight back on the air, or the episodes archived on VHS or DVD. It is a special show that has touched so many lives. Please bring it back and let it touch others' lives as it has touched mine.
By 9th grade, I had become a huge fan of Forever Knight. The show, about an 800 year old vampire who tries to atone for the evils of his past, spoke to a part of me. My fascination with the show first began in 1994 with the episode "Killer Instinct". At the time, I was a disillusioned preteen, who saw the world as a harsh, cruel place where the strong prey on the weak. I desperately needed to know that Good was still a desirable state of existence, and Evil was still unacceptable. To say that I found that reassurance in a TV show may seem silly to some, but to me it meant the world.
It was also a reprieve from the circumstances of my life, a "mental vacation", a form of escape. To make a long story short, my life hadn't been all rainbows and lollipops. In fact, it was quite the opposite. My father, who never married my mother, vanished when I was two. My stepfather had taken to verbally/physically abusing me. And my mother was caught in the middle, working at ungodly hours, struggling to make end's meet, and never having time for her daughter. I had no friends; there was no one for me to vent my feelings to.
By junior year of high school, things had gotten significantly worse. My father had returned, only to disappear again about a year later. My mother was still struggling, and I still had no friends. My stepfather's abuse had escalated from mental/physical abuse to mental/physical/sexual abuse. I lived in constant turmoil and suffered from acute insomnia.
Then, on a sunny day, when the house was empty, I decided to end it all.
I grabbed a knife that had been laying conveniently on the kitchen table (my stepfather never puts anything away), and trudged gravely to the bathroom. I took a long hard look at myself in the mirror, and, as always, I didn't like what I saw. Deciding to just get it done and over with, I pulled up my sleeve, exposing my pale wrist. I raised the knife to slash it, but then I heard a voice in my head.
It was Nick's voice, the part in the final episode where he attempts to dissuade a killer from committing suicide, rang in my head. "You really don't want to die, do you?" I was convinced, and still am, that God was speaking to me through that familiar voice. The next thing I knew, the knife had clattered to the floor, and I was sitting on the edge of the bathtub, crying my eyes out.
At that moment, I knew what I had to do. I picked up the knife, walked back to the kitchen, and dropped the knife into the dishpan. Then I went back to my room and played the final episode, "Last Knight", in its entirety. The episode -- about suicide, death, and the loss of a loved one -- depicted vividly everything I was feeling. I began to cry again, because the meaning of both LaCroix's and Nick's words meant everything. Suddenly, life didn't seem so bad. If Nick could live with the deaths of thousands on his conscience, then I could live with my problems, too. By watching that episode, I learned that it takes far more courage to live than it does to die.
That was two years ago, and the road to recovery has been a long bumpy ride. But I'm getting there. By the grace of God, and thanks to a remembered line from an episode of my favourite TV show, I'm getting there. I know I have a long way to go, but now my future seems so much brighter. If it wasn't for Forever Knight, I wouldn't *have* a future. FK saved my life, and I will always remain indebted to the wonderful actors, writers, directors and producers who conceived of this brilliant show. My heartfelt thanks to them all.
*This* is why we need Forever Knight back on the air, or the episodes archived on VHS or DVD. It is a special show that has touched so many lives. Please bring it back and let it touch others' lives as it has touched mine.
