A Wistful Thought -- (written February 2002/originally posted May 2002)
by Jarvinia/CousinGryffon
Okay, this is a sequel (sort of) to Mixing Minds, although it also stands on its own, I think. This takes place seconds after the last scene of Last Knight, and the last several minutes of that episode are detailed within.
Disclaimer: I do not own Forever Knight or its characters, Sony/Tri-Star does. I'm just having a bit of fun by writing this. No copyright infringement is intended.
I would like to thank David and Liz for all of their comments and suggestions.
A Wistful Thought (01/02)
LaCroix closed his eyes, falling heavily to his knees. His breathing, normally almost non-existent, was quick and ragged. His cold heart beat painfully in his chest at the enormity of what he'd nearly done.
He had watched Nicholas hold the staff, barely listening to what was being said. His son was being foolish and he had stated as much. Then, he had tried to persuade his son of that, knowing what Nicholas was contemplating.
Nicholas' words and actions had led him to believe that he was the devil in his son's eyes. He had stated his conclusion aloud, expecting confirmation of his thoughts. Instead, the younger had stated that he was his closest friend. The words had been completely unexpected, their strained pronunciation making him lose his focus as Nicholas handed him the staff, the silent request for death complete as his son kneeled before him.
He had cursed, damning Nicholas for daring to request this of him. Raising the staff over his head, he had fully intended on doing the deed. A second later, the wood had stabbed quickly and effortlessly through the air, passing clear through his son's body.
He had missed, the staff piercing Nicholas just to the left of his heart.
Over the span of two thousand years he had rarely crumpled under another's will, let alone his own. Of those times, it had almost always been a direct result of Nicholas.
Originally, it had been Nicholas' mortal sister, Fleur. She had caught his eye the instant they had met. For the first time in his life as a vampire, he would have honestly been able to say that he was in love, and with a mortal, nonetheless. His son had asked him to leave, and he had reluctantly done so, wiping Fleur's memory of him.
After Fleur's death, Nicholas was all he had left of her. At that time, he had decided that he would never lose Nicholas. Never would his son be allowed to leave him for what he had done, and never would the younger be allowed to have what he could not.
And yet, now, when it came down to it, he found he couldn't carry through. At the Azure, he had fully intended upon it, but he had backed out. He couldn't take Natalie away from Nicholas, even though his son had ripped Fleur from him, tearing him in half.
Nicholas wouldn't have survived if he had done what he had planned. But, by leaving them to their own devices, he had simply postponed the inevitable. Nicholas had done his task for him.
And what was his son's reaction? A request for death.
LaCroix opened his eyes, focusing on the result of his actions. There Nicholas lay, the staff effectively immobilizing the younger vampire.
He would have to remove the wood, and soon. Although the injury itself would not kill his son, LaCroix was fully aware that the prolonged presence of the material could. For now, it would remain where it was.
Looking just past Nicholas, he could see the Doctor, her form as still as his son's. She was still alive, though barely. Within minutes, or perhaps only seconds, she would be taken by death, never to return. Nicholas could not bring himself to add Natalie to their family. Even though her heart beat its irregular call, her breathing strained, his son could no more bring her across than he could finish the task by killing her.
Again closing his eyes, LaCroix listened to her pulse, hearing its rhythm slow and occasionally falter. When Nicholas woke and found her dead, the request would come again. His son would ask for death--again. Whether or not he would deal the final blow, LaCroix knew that Nicholas would end his life one way or another.
His fists clenched into tight balls, his nails stabbing into the palms of his hands.
How dare Nicholas do this to him! How dare his foolish child ask him for death! How dare he even consider granting that request, let alone accept it! How dare he betray himself!
....And how dare he betray Nicholas' simple, truthful request, one that had been directed toward him and accepted, not as a master or even a father, but as that of a closest friend.
LaCroix bowed his head. Tears welled up in his eyes for the first time in...in he couldn't remember. Even when he had left Fleur and when she had died years later, he couldn't recall a single drop being released. Even Divia's death had brought no tears--merely a cold, dark anger at himself. Only now, when he knew he would lose not only Nicholas, but all he had of Fleur as well, did his emotions finally spill forth.
Focusing on Natalie once more, he could listen to her body struggling to survive...and failing. If Natalie lived, even if his son didn't, Nicholas would live on inside her. Perhaps, a part of Nicholas' sister would continue on...if only her brother's love for her.
And then there was one last hope; that if Natalie survived, even as a vampire, that it would encourage Nicholas to do the same.
That decided it.
He let his fangs drop. Through his slightly blurred, golden vision, he approached Natalie, pulling her up and against him. Nicholas had already effectively drained her, and all that was left was to complete the task. As her heart stopped, he sliced his wrist with his fangs, his blood flowing slowly from the cut. Placing the wound over her mouth he let the liquid trickle down her throat, encouraging her to drink with his words.
It wasn't long before she swallowed. A moment later, he felt her fangs descend for the first time, ripping into his flesh. He shut his eyes tight at the sensation, not out of pain, but fear. Was he doing the right thing? He didn't know. At the moment, he didn't care.
Pulling his arm from her grasp, he gently laid her back down, a smile resting lightly on her bloodstained lips.
Moving back, LaCroix took in her appearance, and then abruptly looked away. She was so much like Nicholas...so much like Fleur. Her beauty had indeed been part of what captivated him so. He would never regret bringing her across, LaCroix knew that right then. Perhaps, in time, she would come to trust him. Eventually, Nicholas....
He let his thoughts trail off, turning to his son. The younger vampire lay in the exact position he'd fallen in. Nicholas, too, was weakening. It was now time to remove the staff before the damage became more serious.
With one more glance to Natalie, LaCroix knelt behind his son. Carefully, he gripped the end of the staff.
He hesitated, his thoughts again wondering if he should just let Nicholas die. He tensed, his eyes flashing amber. He would never allow that to happen. Never.
In one quick motion, he yanked the wood out, allowing the now unobstructed wound bleed for several minutes. All LaCroix could do was watch, waiting for some reaction from his son.
Then, he felt it. Nicholas' mind stirred ever so faintly, and the younger vampire quickly drifted off into his dreams. LaCroix didn't smile, but worried. When his son woke...he didn't want to think about that...about what would happen then.
For now, he would take Nicholas upstairs, clean him up and set him to bed. He also wanted to get some blood into his son in order to help the healing process; although he had a feeling that task would be difficult.
*+.*+.*+.*+.*+.
Opening her eyes, Natalie found the darkness of the loft to be obscured by a bright golden hue illuminating everything. The next thing that hit her was her hunger--hunger for blood.
Sitting up on the couch, she slowly stood, heading instinctively to the refrigerator. Inside, she reached for the nearest bottle. Yanking the cork out, she upended the bottle, drinking heavily of the liquid.
The edge on her hunger softened as she emptied the bottle. Watching as her surroundings lost the golden tinge, she waited for the room to darken, but it didn't. Even in the total darkness, she could see every detail of the room...she could see the individual outlines of the keys on the piano, the texture of the couch, the rough surface of the bricks.
She was a vampire.
Natalie scrunched her brow. Somehow, she knew that something was wrong. Where was Nick? She glanced through the room, but he wasn't there. He had to be upstairs, but why hadn't he been there when she woke? It didn't seem right.
Slowly, she ascended the stairs, one hand gripping the rail even though she had no need for it. Approaching Nick's room, she lightly pushed on the door, letting it swing open. Inside, she saw both Nick and LaCroix. The former was lying, seemingly peacefully, in his bed.
LaCroix, however, was sitting on the floor, leaning against the bed, his face twisted in concern. Stepping closer, she watched as he stirred. A second later Natalie was confronted with his gaze...golden and filled with worry.
Looking up at her, LaCroix met her eyes, not daring to look away. He hadn't even sensed her wake...and now here Natalie was, standing before him, her hunger already assuaged.
"LaCroix?"
"You should not be up here."
"But...Nick...."
He looked away. "Nicholas will wake later. He...does not know of this." He paused. A few seconds later, LaCroix stated, "I was the one that brought you over, Natalie."
She was stunned. Upon waking, she had just assumed that Nick had been the one...he had said that they would be together no matter what happened. "Why didn't Nick?"
"He could not make you one of us. He could not deal with damning your soul."
"He-he was just going to let me die? No...no, I can't believe that. Nick doesn't take death that lightly."
"No, he doesn't," he said with a barely audible whisper. "He had...faith...that he would be able to join you through death. He asked me for death, but I...couldn't." He turned away, focusing on the younger vampire's still form. "I thought I could, but Nicholas.... He is everything to me. If I had carried through with the request, I don't think I could have lived with that choice."
Natalie just stood there. She wasn't sure what to say in response, if anything. LaCroix didn't strike her as the suicidal type. Homicidal, yes, but not suicidal. She could perhaps see him assist a suicide, but that would depend on the person. He certainly wouldn't if it was Nick. Yet, all of that was merely her thoughts, and as proved by LaCroix' words, they were all wrong.
Through previous speculation, she tried to figure out why LaCroix wouldn't let him go. From LaCroix' own statement and the lingering effects of his blood, she now knew for certain.
Turning toward Nick, she approached. She stopped upon reaching the edge of the bed, and looked down on him. A deep, healing sleep had claimed him. Sitting, she reached up to his face, brushing his hair off of his forehead. There was no reaction.
She stood, coming face to face with LaCroix. "Is he going to be okay?" she asked, her emotions barely contained.
Meeting her eyes, he brought his hand to her cheek, guiding her gaze to meet his. "I seriously don't know." He abruptly dropped his arm and looked away.
For a moment, she watched him. LaCroix was tired...like he'd used all of his energy up, his emotions being his sole source of fuel. Returning his action, she turned him to face her. "LaCroix.... He'll be fine. I'm sure of it."
Pausing, she waited for a comment, but he remained silent. Aware that her body was demanding more blood, she started for the door.
"I wish I could believe that," LaCroix stated, halting his daughter in her steps. "I really do, Natalie. But, I don't know."
She pursed her lips, and with a nod exited the room.
LaCroix stared at the door until he could hear her in the kitchen, then focused back on Nicholas. The younger vampire slept peacefully, but he could feel more beneath the surface. When his son woke, only then would he really know what Nicholas was thinking.
A Wistful Thought (02/02)
As noon passed, LaCroix monitored Nicholas' sleep as it become more and more fitful. At first, it had been a small movement every dozen or so minutes. Now, he watched as the younger vampire slipped into a nightmare, the images taunting his son.
Abruptly, Nicholas sat up. LaCroix watched him...waiting for some further reaction. But, there was none. The younger vampire simply sat there, staring off into space. "Nicholas?" he called after a moment.
Turning to his father, he Nick weakly demanded, "Why, LaCroix?"
The Roman glanced away, not able to meet his son's gaze.
"I wanted to die, LaCroix. You won't even allow me that, will you?"
Suppressing his anger, LaCroix turned back to his son. "It is not your time."
Nick scoffed at the reason. It wasn't good enough. "Why? Because we are immortal? Because the only way we can die is suicide or murder?"
"Because you are my son," he firmly answered. "I could not kill you. You are all I have."
"And I have nothing."
Natalie, who had been listening at the door, slid silently into the room. "You have me, Nick."
Focusing on the source of the voice, Nick shook his head. He could barely believe what his eyes were showing him. "No.... No, I-I killed you."
She took a step closer. "LaCroix brought me across, Nick. I thought we had agreed that if you took too much, you'd bring me over?"
Nick flinched. He could recall every word that had passed between them. At her reminder, they all came flooding back. Glancing away, he shook his head. "I couldn't condemn you to this. I couldn't."
"No more than I could watch you die, Nicholas."
Glaring at his father, Nick let his eyes burn bright gold. "Why have you done this, LaCroix? Why have you done this to me?! To Natalie! I wanted to end this! All of it!" Letting some of his anger fade, a single tear ran down his cheek. "How could you?"
LaCroix suppressed his emotions. Why did Nicholas always know where to hit him? Why did the younger always push against his nature? Why couldn't Nicholas just accept what he was? But, he knew that answer. If he did, he wouldn't be the same person. Nicholas would no longer be Nicholas.
Backing up toward the door, LaCroix paused just before reaching it. "How couldn't I?" he asked. Then, pulling Natalie with him, he withdrew from the room, leaving his son to his thoughts.
*+.*+.*+.*+.*+.
Reaching the lower level, LaCroix headed straight for the refrigerator, pulling out one of the unopened bottles. For a moment, he considered getting a glass, but changed his mind. Yanking the cork out with his teeth, he upended the bottle, drinking its contents as fast as he could swallow.
Finishing the bottle, he turned to find Natalie standing right next to him, her expression concerned.
She took a step nearer. "LaCroix?"
"Leave me alone," he hissed through his fangs.
"No. I want to help, LaCroix. If you'll le-"
"I said leave me alone!" he repeated, the bottle flying out of his hand and across the room.
Natalie closed her eyes at LaCroix' approach. As the glass shattered against the wall, her ears picked up the sounds of the shards as they made their way to the floor one by one. "Please, LaCroix."
He bowed his head, turning away from her. Leaning against the counter, he stated, "I can't do this any longer. I can't. Perhaps it was a mistake to save Nicholas."
"Do you really believe that?" Natalie cautiously asked. "You do love him, don't you?" He didn't answer. Natalie moved closer, placing one of her hands on his arm. She could feel his body shaking, her eyes almost able to see him tremble as he stood before her. "LaCroix, please...."
He closed his eyes. "Yes," he answered, the word barely a whisper.
"And that is why you brought me across? For Nick?"
Tensing at the question, LaCroix wasn't entirely sure what to say. Yes, he had brought Natalie over for his son's benefit, but in the end, it was all for himself.
He admitted that he enjoyed her presence; even during the handful of times they had met when she was mortal. He had wanted this since the first time they had really spoken. By adding her to his family, he was fulfilling his interests as much as Nicholas'.
If it weren’t for the possibility that she could help his son, he would have dealt the blow as had been asked and left her for dead. But, he couldn't. He knew that if Natalie were a vampire, theoretically, all of his problems would be solved. It would satisfy Nicholas' needs and feelings, as well as his own.
"Partly," he finally spoke.
"Partly?"
"I have my own reasons, but you are right. The primary reason was for Nicholas."
"And it has nothing to do with what happened at the Azure, or shortly after?"
Again, he stiffened. How could she know about that? Those memories had been taken from her. He had made sure of this. "You...remember?"
She set her jaw. Pursing her lips, she answered, "Some things. I remember meeting you at the Azure, a small amount of our conversation...and some of your argument with Nick. I also remember our little chat a few days later. I guess me becoming a vampire messed with your and Nick's tampering."
He just stood there, her stance telling him nothing. As their bond hadn't yet formed, all he had to go on were her actions and words. But...he had to know. "And?"
"And what? I'm not holding it against either of you. Nick did what he did to protect me from you. You...I don't know your reasons, but I think that you did what you did for Nick."
"I do what I wish."
"Yeah, right. And you were really going to kill him, LaCroix? I don't think that's something you want."
LaCroix again felt his anger rise. "I want Nicholas to live without these morals he has adopted. That is what I want! My son has been struggling with this for a long time. If only he would accept what he is...."
"And if I'm a vampire, he wouldn't have any reason to want to become mortal. Is that it? Is that why you saved me, to play a part in your games?"
He momentarily closed his eyes, pushing his emotions away. "My reasons are complex, Doctor," he answered, sighing. "You have a fascinating mind: A scientific, modern mind. You will be a fine addition to my family." He paused, turning to her. "You have much to learn, Natalie, my beautiful daughter."
Recovering from his unexpected last statement, she asked, "And Nick? What part is he to play?"
"I don't know," he stated honestly. "I want him to be my son and accept me as his father. It is what I have wanted for a very, very long time."
"But...?"
"I know I can't force him. Not anymore. It would destroy him, and I will not be the hand of his demise."
Natalie had one more question, and she feared the answer. "If Nick...if you lose him, what will happen to me?"
"That will be your choice, but you will always have a place in my family."
"Even if Nick...." She couldn't say it.
"No matter what," he answered, but refused to let his mind dwell on it. He had no wish to continue this line of conversation. Not now, when Nicholas was in the state he was in. LaCroix pulled her closer, and then led her over to the couch. "I think you should get some sleep. Your body is still adjusting to your new nature. Rest will help."
Leaning back into the cushions, Natalie felt her tiredness. She wondered why she hadn't noticed before, but figured her concern for Nick had overshadowed it. As he turned, she asked, "And you?"
"I will rest as well. I will speak with Nicholas later."
"And you will just speak to him, nothing else?"
He hesitated a moment. "Yes. I will do my best." Besides, he thought to himself, this wasn't the right time to push Nicholas. He knew that, Natalie knew that, they all knew that.
He sat in the nearby recliner, telling her, "Rest now, Natalie. Sleep." Then, LaCroix turned away and closed his own eyes, not knowing if he would be able to do the same.
*+.*+.*+.*+.*+.
After they had left, he had tried to sleep, but he couldn't. Instead, he had drifted over toward the door. After a moment, he had sat in front of it, listening to the conversation downstairs, and his thoughts got caught on one section:
"I can't do this any longer. I can't. Perhaps it was a mistake to save Nicholas."
"Do you really believe that?"
There was a pause, and he had felt his pulse quicken, if only for a second.
"You do love him, don't you? LaCroix, please...."
"Yes."
Nick bowed his head. LaCroix' words, firm and controlled, told him much about the elder vampire's mood. It was the same tone LaCroix used when he didn't want to let his emotions out--a touch of anger that seemed to dispel them.
LaCroix cared about him. Something his father rarely voiced so clearly as he had done in answer to Natalie's question. He couldn't get that out of his thoughts.
Once they had ceased speaking, Nick had waited until he was positive they were both asleep. It had taken an hour, and now he slipped silently down the stairs.
Carefully, he made his way to the couch, watching as Natalie slept. He hated to admit it, but now that she was a vampire, he found himself even more attracted to her than before.
"She is beautiful, is she not, Nicholas?"
He didn't answer his father's question. He already knew what he would say.
"If there had been another option, I would have taken it. As it were, I waited until she was nearly gone. She would not have made it to a hospital."
Nodding faintly, Nick kept his gaze on Natalie. He had known she wouldn't make it, but in the end, he could neither completely drain her nor bring her across. He had assumed that LaCroix would let her die...even if the elder vampire didn't accept his request.
"I am...grateful for your actions, LaCroix."
"Will you accept it?"
"For now." He turned to LaCroix. "If you ever harm her, LaCroix...I won't stand by and watch."
"Then we have an agreement? Nicholas?" After a moment the younger man nodded. "Good. You and Natalie will leave this city with me, and our family will remain together."
Nick set his jaw. He didn't like it, but this was what needed to be done. "I can't guarantee it will last. You know that."
"Yes, Nicholas, I know. I have what I want, and you have what you want." LaCroix moved closer to Natalie's sleeping form. "I do not believe she has any qualms about her new existence, except that you were not the one to bring her over, that is."
"I couldn't do it, LaCroix."
To himself, LaCroix accepted it. "Feed and then rest. There will be much for us to do when the sun sets." He watched as Nicholas nodded and retrieved a bottle from the refrigerator. After giving a glance to Natalie, his son headed back up to his room.
LaCroix waited several minutes, and then closed in on Natalie. He let his fingers brush against her cheek. Pulling back after a moment, he smiled. Things had worked out fine. Natalie had been right.
The mortal, and now vampire, that had encouraged Nicholas in his foolish quest had been right. She was, indeed, far more than he had initially believed. This new daughter would bring him great pleasure, he was sure.
Sitting in the recliner, LaCroix leaned back and closed his eyes. He let his delight at recent events show plainly on his face, his lips twisting up into a smile.
Nicholas was, despite everything, once more his. Not only that, but he again had both a daughter and a son. Everything would soon be in its rightful place.
~fin~
by Jarvinia/CousinGryffon
Okay, this is a sequel (sort of) to Mixing Minds, although it also stands on its own, I think. This takes place seconds after the last scene of Last Knight, and the last several minutes of that episode are detailed within.
Disclaimer: I do not own Forever Knight or its characters, Sony/Tri-Star does. I'm just having a bit of fun by writing this. No copyright infringement is intended.
I would like to thank David and Liz for all of their comments and suggestions.
A Wistful Thought (01/02)
LaCroix closed his eyes, falling heavily to his knees. His breathing, normally almost non-existent, was quick and ragged. His cold heart beat painfully in his chest at the enormity of what he'd nearly done.
He had watched Nicholas hold the staff, barely listening to what was being said. His son was being foolish and he had stated as much. Then, he had tried to persuade his son of that, knowing what Nicholas was contemplating.
Nicholas' words and actions had led him to believe that he was the devil in his son's eyes. He had stated his conclusion aloud, expecting confirmation of his thoughts. Instead, the younger had stated that he was his closest friend. The words had been completely unexpected, their strained pronunciation making him lose his focus as Nicholas handed him the staff, the silent request for death complete as his son kneeled before him.
He had cursed, damning Nicholas for daring to request this of him. Raising the staff over his head, he had fully intended on doing the deed. A second later, the wood had stabbed quickly and effortlessly through the air, passing clear through his son's body.
He had missed, the staff piercing Nicholas just to the left of his heart.
Over the span of two thousand years he had rarely crumpled under another's will, let alone his own. Of those times, it had almost always been a direct result of Nicholas.
Originally, it had been Nicholas' mortal sister, Fleur. She had caught his eye the instant they had met. For the first time in his life as a vampire, he would have honestly been able to say that he was in love, and with a mortal, nonetheless. His son had asked him to leave, and he had reluctantly done so, wiping Fleur's memory of him.
After Fleur's death, Nicholas was all he had left of her. At that time, he had decided that he would never lose Nicholas. Never would his son be allowed to leave him for what he had done, and never would the younger be allowed to have what he could not.
And yet, now, when it came down to it, he found he couldn't carry through. At the Azure, he had fully intended upon it, but he had backed out. He couldn't take Natalie away from Nicholas, even though his son had ripped Fleur from him, tearing him in half.
Nicholas wouldn't have survived if he had done what he had planned. But, by leaving them to their own devices, he had simply postponed the inevitable. Nicholas had done his task for him.
And what was his son's reaction? A request for death.
LaCroix opened his eyes, focusing on the result of his actions. There Nicholas lay, the staff effectively immobilizing the younger vampire.
He would have to remove the wood, and soon. Although the injury itself would not kill his son, LaCroix was fully aware that the prolonged presence of the material could. For now, it would remain where it was.
Looking just past Nicholas, he could see the Doctor, her form as still as his son's. She was still alive, though barely. Within minutes, or perhaps only seconds, she would be taken by death, never to return. Nicholas could not bring himself to add Natalie to their family. Even though her heart beat its irregular call, her breathing strained, his son could no more bring her across than he could finish the task by killing her.
Again closing his eyes, LaCroix listened to her pulse, hearing its rhythm slow and occasionally falter. When Nicholas woke and found her dead, the request would come again. His son would ask for death--again. Whether or not he would deal the final blow, LaCroix knew that Nicholas would end his life one way or another.
His fists clenched into tight balls, his nails stabbing into the palms of his hands.
How dare Nicholas do this to him! How dare his foolish child ask him for death! How dare he even consider granting that request, let alone accept it! How dare he betray himself!
....And how dare he betray Nicholas' simple, truthful request, one that had been directed toward him and accepted, not as a master or even a father, but as that of a closest friend.
LaCroix bowed his head. Tears welled up in his eyes for the first time in...in he couldn't remember. Even when he had left Fleur and when she had died years later, he couldn't recall a single drop being released. Even Divia's death had brought no tears--merely a cold, dark anger at himself. Only now, when he knew he would lose not only Nicholas, but all he had of Fleur as well, did his emotions finally spill forth.
Focusing on Natalie once more, he could listen to her body struggling to survive...and failing. If Natalie lived, even if his son didn't, Nicholas would live on inside her. Perhaps, a part of Nicholas' sister would continue on...if only her brother's love for her.
And then there was one last hope; that if Natalie survived, even as a vampire, that it would encourage Nicholas to do the same.
That decided it.
He let his fangs drop. Through his slightly blurred, golden vision, he approached Natalie, pulling her up and against him. Nicholas had already effectively drained her, and all that was left was to complete the task. As her heart stopped, he sliced his wrist with his fangs, his blood flowing slowly from the cut. Placing the wound over her mouth he let the liquid trickle down her throat, encouraging her to drink with his words.
It wasn't long before she swallowed. A moment later, he felt her fangs descend for the first time, ripping into his flesh. He shut his eyes tight at the sensation, not out of pain, but fear. Was he doing the right thing? He didn't know. At the moment, he didn't care.
Pulling his arm from her grasp, he gently laid her back down, a smile resting lightly on her bloodstained lips.
Moving back, LaCroix took in her appearance, and then abruptly looked away. She was so much like Nicholas...so much like Fleur. Her beauty had indeed been part of what captivated him so. He would never regret bringing her across, LaCroix knew that right then. Perhaps, in time, she would come to trust him. Eventually, Nicholas....
He let his thoughts trail off, turning to his son. The younger vampire lay in the exact position he'd fallen in. Nicholas, too, was weakening. It was now time to remove the staff before the damage became more serious.
With one more glance to Natalie, LaCroix knelt behind his son. Carefully, he gripped the end of the staff.
He hesitated, his thoughts again wondering if he should just let Nicholas die. He tensed, his eyes flashing amber. He would never allow that to happen. Never.
In one quick motion, he yanked the wood out, allowing the now unobstructed wound bleed for several minutes. All LaCroix could do was watch, waiting for some reaction from his son.
Then, he felt it. Nicholas' mind stirred ever so faintly, and the younger vampire quickly drifted off into his dreams. LaCroix didn't smile, but worried. When his son woke...he didn't want to think about that...about what would happen then.
For now, he would take Nicholas upstairs, clean him up and set him to bed. He also wanted to get some blood into his son in order to help the healing process; although he had a feeling that task would be difficult.
*+.*+.*+.*+.*+.
Opening her eyes, Natalie found the darkness of the loft to be obscured by a bright golden hue illuminating everything. The next thing that hit her was her hunger--hunger for blood.
Sitting up on the couch, she slowly stood, heading instinctively to the refrigerator. Inside, she reached for the nearest bottle. Yanking the cork out, she upended the bottle, drinking heavily of the liquid.
The edge on her hunger softened as she emptied the bottle. Watching as her surroundings lost the golden tinge, she waited for the room to darken, but it didn't. Even in the total darkness, she could see every detail of the room...she could see the individual outlines of the keys on the piano, the texture of the couch, the rough surface of the bricks.
She was a vampire.
Natalie scrunched her brow. Somehow, she knew that something was wrong. Where was Nick? She glanced through the room, but he wasn't there. He had to be upstairs, but why hadn't he been there when she woke? It didn't seem right.
Slowly, she ascended the stairs, one hand gripping the rail even though she had no need for it. Approaching Nick's room, she lightly pushed on the door, letting it swing open. Inside, she saw both Nick and LaCroix. The former was lying, seemingly peacefully, in his bed.
LaCroix, however, was sitting on the floor, leaning against the bed, his face twisted in concern. Stepping closer, she watched as he stirred. A second later Natalie was confronted with his gaze...golden and filled with worry.
Looking up at her, LaCroix met her eyes, not daring to look away. He hadn't even sensed her wake...and now here Natalie was, standing before him, her hunger already assuaged.
"LaCroix?"
"You should not be up here."
"But...Nick...."
He looked away. "Nicholas will wake later. He...does not know of this." He paused. A few seconds later, LaCroix stated, "I was the one that brought you over, Natalie."
She was stunned. Upon waking, she had just assumed that Nick had been the one...he had said that they would be together no matter what happened. "Why didn't Nick?"
"He could not make you one of us. He could not deal with damning your soul."
"He-he was just going to let me die? No...no, I can't believe that. Nick doesn't take death that lightly."
"No, he doesn't," he said with a barely audible whisper. "He had...faith...that he would be able to join you through death. He asked me for death, but I...couldn't." He turned away, focusing on the younger vampire's still form. "I thought I could, but Nicholas.... He is everything to me. If I had carried through with the request, I don't think I could have lived with that choice."
Natalie just stood there. She wasn't sure what to say in response, if anything. LaCroix didn't strike her as the suicidal type. Homicidal, yes, but not suicidal. She could perhaps see him assist a suicide, but that would depend on the person. He certainly wouldn't if it was Nick. Yet, all of that was merely her thoughts, and as proved by LaCroix' words, they were all wrong.
Through previous speculation, she tried to figure out why LaCroix wouldn't let him go. From LaCroix' own statement and the lingering effects of his blood, she now knew for certain.
Turning toward Nick, she approached. She stopped upon reaching the edge of the bed, and looked down on him. A deep, healing sleep had claimed him. Sitting, she reached up to his face, brushing his hair off of his forehead. There was no reaction.
She stood, coming face to face with LaCroix. "Is he going to be okay?" she asked, her emotions barely contained.
Meeting her eyes, he brought his hand to her cheek, guiding her gaze to meet his. "I seriously don't know." He abruptly dropped his arm and looked away.
For a moment, she watched him. LaCroix was tired...like he'd used all of his energy up, his emotions being his sole source of fuel. Returning his action, she turned him to face her. "LaCroix.... He'll be fine. I'm sure of it."
Pausing, she waited for a comment, but he remained silent. Aware that her body was demanding more blood, she started for the door.
"I wish I could believe that," LaCroix stated, halting his daughter in her steps. "I really do, Natalie. But, I don't know."
She pursed her lips, and with a nod exited the room.
LaCroix stared at the door until he could hear her in the kitchen, then focused back on Nicholas. The younger vampire slept peacefully, but he could feel more beneath the surface. When his son woke, only then would he really know what Nicholas was thinking.
A Wistful Thought (02/02)
As noon passed, LaCroix monitored Nicholas' sleep as it become more and more fitful. At first, it had been a small movement every dozen or so minutes. Now, he watched as the younger vampire slipped into a nightmare, the images taunting his son.
Abruptly, Nicholas sat up. LaCroix watched him...waiting for some further reaction. But, there was none. The younger vampire simply sat there, staring off into space. "Nicholas?" he called after a moment.
Turning to his father, he Nick weakly demanded, "Why, LaCroix?"
The Roman glanced away, not able to meet his son's gaze.
"I wanted to die, LaCroix. You won't even allow me that, will you?"
Suppressing his anger, LaCroix turned back to his son. "It is not your time."
Nick scoffed at the reason. It wasn't good enough. "Why? Because we are immortal? Because the only way we can die is suicide or murder?"
"Because you are my son," he firmly answered. "I could not kill you. You are all I have."
"And I have nothing."
Natalie, who had been listening at the door, slid silently into the room. "You have me, Nick."
Focusing on the source of the voice, Nick shook his head. He could barely believe what his eyes were showing him. "No.... No, I-I killed you."
She took a step closer. "LaCroix brought me across, Nick. I thought we had agreed that if you took too much, you'd bring me over?"
Nick flinched. He could recall every word that had passed between them. At her reminder, they all came flooding back. Glancing away, he shook his head. "I couldn't condemn you to this. I couldn't."
"No more than I could watch you die, Nicholas."
Glaring at his father, Nick let his eyes burn bright gold. "Why have you done this, LaCroix? Why have you done this to me?! To Natalie! I wanted to end this! All of it!" Letting some of his anger fade, a single tear ran down his cheek. "How could you?"
LaCroix suppressed his emotions. Why did Nicholas always know where to hit him? Why did the younger always push against his nature? Why couldn't Nicholas just accept what he was? But, he knew that answer. If he did, he wouldn't be the same person. Nicholas would no longer be Nicholas.
Backing up toward the door, LaCroix paused just before reaching it. "How couldn't I?" he asked. Then, pulling Natalie with him, he withdrew from the room, leaving his son to his thoughts.
*+.*+.*+.*+.*+.
Reaching the lower level, LaCroix headed straight for the refrigerator, pulling out one of the unopened bottles. For a moment, he considered getting a glass, but changed his mind. Yanking the cork out with his teeth, he upended the bottle, drinking its contents as fast as he could swallow.
Finishing the bottle, he turned to find Natalie standing right next to him, her expression concerned.
She took a step nearer. "LaCroix?"
"Leave me alone," he hissed through his fangs.
"No. I want to help, LaCroix. If you'll le-"
"I said leave me alone!" he repeated, the bottle flying out of his hand and across the room.
Natalie closed her eyes at LaCroix' approach. As the glass shattered against the wall, her ears picked up the sounds of the shards as they made their way to the floor one by one. "Please, LaCroix."
He bowed his head, turning away from her. Leaning against the counter, he stated, "I can't do this any longer. I can't. Perhaps it was a mistake to save Nicholas."
"Do you really believe that?" Natalie cautiously asked. "You do love him, don't you?" He didn't answer. Natalie moved closer, placing one of her hands on his arm. She could feel his body shaking, her eyes almost able to see him tremble as he stood before her. "LaCroix, please...."
He closed his eyes. "Yes," he answered, the word barely a whisper.
"And that is why you brought me across? For Nick?"
Tensing at the question, LaCroix wasn't entirely sure what to say. Yes, he had brought Natalie over for his son's benefit, but in the end, it was all for himself.
He admitted that he enjoyed her presence; even during the handful of times they had met when she was mortal. He had wanted this since the first time they had really spoken. By adding her to his family, he was fulfilling his interests as much as Nicholas'.
If it weren’t for the possibility that she could help his son, he would have dealt the blow as had been asked and left her for dead. But, he couldn't. He knew that if Natalie were a vampire, theoretically, all of his problems would be solved. It would satisfy Nicholas' needs and feelings, as well as his own.
"Partly," he finally spoke.
"Partly?"
"I have my own reasons, but you are right. The primary reason was for Nicholas."
"And it has nothing to do with what happened at the Azure, or shortly after?"
Again, he stiffened. How could she know about that? Those memories had been taken from her. He had made sure of this. "You...remember?"
She set her jaw. Pursing her lips, she answered, "Some things. I remember meeting you at the Azure, a small amount of our conversation...and some of your argument with Nick. I also remember our little chat a few days later. I guess me becoming a vampire messed with your and Nick's tampering."
He just stood there, her stance telling him nothing. As their bond hadn't yet formed, all he had to go on were her actions and words. But...he had to know. "And?"
"And what? I'm not holding it against either of you. Nick did what he did to protect me from you. You...I don't know your reasons, but I think that you did what you did for Nick."
"I do what I wish."
"Yeah, right. And you were really going to kill him, LaCroix? I don't think that's something you want."
LaCroix again felt his anger rise. "I want Nicholas to live without these morals he has adopted. That is what I want! My son has been struggling with this for a long time. If only he would accept what he is...."
"And if I'm a vampire, he wouldn't have any reason to want to become mortal. Is that it? Is that why you saved me, to play a part in your games?"
He momentarily closed his eyes, pushing his emotions away. "My reasons are complex, Doctor," he answered, sighing. "You have a fascinating mind: A scientific, modern mind. You will be a fine addition to my family." He paused, turning to her. "You have much to learn, Natalie, my beautiful daughter."
Recovering from his unexpected last statement, she asked, "And Nick? What part is he to play?"
"I don't know," he stated honestly. "I want him to be my son and accept me as his father. It is what I have wanted for a very, very long time."
"But...?"
"I know I can't force him. Not anymore. It would destroy him, and I will not be the hand of his demise."
Natalie had one more question, and she feared the answer. "If Nick...if you lose him, what will happen to me?"
"That will be your choice, but you will always have a place in my family."
"Even if Nick...." She couldn't say it.
"No matter what," he answered, but refused to let his mind dwell on it. He had no wish to continue this line of conversation. Not now, when Nicholas was in the state he was in. LaCroix pulled her closer, and then led her over to the couch. "I think you should get some sleep. Your body is still adjusting to your new nature. Rest will help."
Leaning back into the cushions, Natalie felt her tiredness. She wondered why she hadn't noticed before, but figured her concern for Nick had overshadowed it. As he turned, she asked, "And you?"
"I will rest as well. I will speak with Nicholas later."
"And you will just speak to him, nothing else?"
He hesitated a moment. "Yes. I will do my best." Besides, he thought to himself, this wasn't the right time to push Nicholas. He knew that, Natalie knew that, they all knew that.
He sat in the nearby recliner, telling her, "Rest now, Natalie. Sleep." Then, LaCroix turned away and closed his own eyes, not knowing if he would be able to do the same.
*+.*+.*+.*+.*+.
After they had left, he had tried to sleep, but he couldn't. Instead, he had drifted over toward the door. After a moment, he had sat in front of it, listening to the conversation downstairs, and his thoughts got caught on one section:
"I can't do this any longer. I can't. Perhaps it was a mistake to save Nicholas."
"Do you really believe that?"
There was a pause, and he had felt his pulse quicken, if only for a second.
"You do love him, don't you? LaCroix, please...."
"Yes."
Nick bowed his head. LaCroix' words, firm and controlled, told him much about the elder vampire's mood. It was the same tone LaCroix used when he didn't want to let his emotions out--a touch of anger that seemed to dispel them.
LaCroix cared about him. Something his father rarely voiced so clearly as he had done in answer to Natalie's question. He couldn't get that out of his thoughts.
Once they had ceased speaking, Nick had waited until he was positive they were both asleep. It had taken an hour, and now he slipped silently down the stairs.
Carefully, he made his way to the couch, watching as Natalie slept. He hated to admit it, but now that she was a vampire, he found himself even more attracted to her than before.
"She is beautiful, is she not, Nicholas?"
He didn't answer his father's question. He already knew what he would say.
"If there had been another option, I would have taken it. As it were, I waited until she was nearly gone. She would not have made it to a hospital."
Nodding faintly, Nick kept his gaze on Natalie. He had known she wouldn't make it, but in the end, he could neither completely drain her nor bring her across. He had assumed that LaCroix would let her die...even if the elder vampire didn't accept his request.
"I am...grateful for your actions, LaCroix."
"Will you accept it?"
"For now." He turned to LaCroix. "If you ever harm her, LaCroix...I won't stand by and watch."
"Then we have an agreement? Nicholas?" After a moment the younger man nodded. "Good. You and Natalie will leave this city with me, and our family will remain together."
Nick set his jaw. He didn't like it, but this was what needed to be done. "I can't guarantee it will last. You know that."
"Yes, Nicholas, I know. I have what I want, and you have what you want." LaCroix moved closer to Natalie's sleeping form. "I do not believe she has any qualms about her new existence, except that you were not the one to bring her over, that is."
"I couldn't do it, LaCroix."
To himself, LaCroix accepted it. "Feed and then rest. There will be much for us to do when the sun sets." He watched as Nicholas nodded and retrieved a bottle from the refrigerator. After giving a glance to Natalie, his son headed back up to his room.
LaCroix waited several minutes, and then closed in on Natalie. He let his fingers brush against her cheek. Pulling back after a moment, he smiled. Things had worked out fine. Natalie had been right.
The mortal, and now vampire, that had encouraged Nicholas in his foolish quest had been right. She was, indeed, far more than he had initially believed. This new daughter would bring him great pleasure, he was sure.
Sitting in the recliner, LaCroix leaned back and closed his eyes. He let his delight at recent events show plainly on his face, his lips twisting up into a smile.
Nicholas was, despite everything, once more his. Not only that, but he again had both a daughter and a son. Everything would soon be in its rightful place.
~fin~
