Originally posted by Aardie
"Being a Mistress of Gitwyia is knowing that Maybourne's head has many varied uses. Purchase now for $29.95. It slices! It dices! Order now and get a free set of steak knives!"
I thought I would give you a Maybourne laugh. In December 2000, a round robin fan fic was written called, "Loop Gate." The premise was that other things must have happened during the three months they were looping ("Window of Opportunity"). Each of us wrote a "loop," which started exactly as the loops on the show did. Mine was about Maybourne:
Loop 6:
"I'm sorry Jack, that's just how I feel about it. What do you think?"
No response. As usual, he wasn't listening to me. But this time, I think Jack is going over the edge. Maybe duck and cover is a good idea.
"Uh, Sam . . ."
She sees it too . . . Jack's glazing over . . . He needs a valium. He needs to get laid. Clearly fishing is not going to do it this time.
"Is something wrong?" I ask him.
"Yeah. Something's wrong alright. Something's been wrong, and is now wrong about one hundred times," Jack said. Now Jack is in a full fledged scowl and he leaves the commissary; no further explanation. Sam and I just look at each other, and follow Jack to the briefing room.
Several hours later, and an amazing story from Jack and Teal'c (which I would never believe if Teal'c didn't remember it, too), I now find myself in the middle of a translation of an entire dais of heiroglyphs. Jack seems to think I can just translate these things at a whim! He makes me crazy sometimes. I've got to go find him and see if he remembers any more specifics about . . .
What is that noise? It sounds like . . . who is that cursing? It's coming from the Gateroom . . .
"Colonel O'Neill, I'll have you court marshalled for this! You sonafab----!" What is Maybourne doing here? The spooks are supposed to be at Area 51.
It's really true: a picture is worth a thousand words.
"Sam! SAAAAMMMMM!!!! She's gotta see this, even if we will never remember it . . . but Jack and Teal'c will!
Maybourne is suspended from the ceiling of the Gateroom, candy and prizes taped all over him, with Jack holding a decorated stick in his hand, teaching Teal'c a new game.
"You see, Teal'c, it's called a pinata. It is a test of manhood, skill and ability. The male being given the test is blindfolded, and given only one implement to prove his worthiness and manhood - this weapon of honor, decorated as it has been by manly warriors centuries ago. In order for you to become accepted as a man into our new tribe of warriors, you must hit the pinata, while you are blindfolded, until ALL of the prizes fall to the floor."
At that moment, Maybourne knew there was something worse than dismemberment.