Themistocles
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- Aug 23, 2006
- Messages
- 50
Hello everyone,
I am sending my story off 15 hours from now. I made some last minute chages to a section and was wondering if the structure, content and grammar is up to snuff.
Thanks
.......................................................................................................
“When I said that you were abandoned up here. No one would do something so terrible. And I didn’t mean it. I really didn’t.”
“I know,” he replied. And after a short pause he laughed.
“What?”
“Nothing really. It’s just… well, Spartans elders used to send weak children to a nearby mountain to die.”
“That’s barbaric! Uh… why did you find that funny?”
“From an early age I imagined myself being abandoned on this mountain because I was deemed defective.” He paused for a moment as they passed the granite slab where he was found so very long ago.
“Those Spartan children, and my own people, had destinies that were predetermined for them. I, on the other hand, was given the freedom to choose. I will never forget that.”
They neared the portal that would take them home.
I am sending my story off 15 hours from now. I made some last minute chages to a section and was wondering if the structure, content and grammar is up to snuff.
Thanks
.......................................................................................................
“When I said that you were abandoned up here. No one would do something so terrible. And I didn’t mean it. I really didn’t.”
“I know,” he replied. And after a short pause he laughed.
“What?”
“Nothing really. It’s just… well, Spartans elders used to send weak children to a nearby mountain to die.”
“That’s barbaric! Uh… why did you find that funny?”
“From an early age I imagined myself being abandoned on this mountain because I was deemed defective.” He paused for a moment as they passed the granite slab where he was found so very long ago.
“Those Spartan children, and my own people, had destinies that were predetermined for them. I, on the other hand, was given the freedom to choose. I will never forget that.”
They neared the portal that would take them home.
