asher marquering
servant of a battle oath
- Joined
- Jun 13, 2006
- Messages
- 210
just another scene that i thought of nearer to the end of the eldred story i tried applying some "show and tell" elements, what you guys think
The familiar group of students stood outside the examination room, although laughter was abundant. One could sense the nervousness in most of the senior candidates; this was one of their last examinations at school level. The next one that they would write, if any, would be an examination at a tertiary educational institution. Stress was obviously a factor, stress, which brought round anxiety, an emotion felt by most of the candidates.
Eldred, the adolescent given the spirit Malachi, wondered, “What are these people feeling, emotion, right?”
He thought about nothing and paused listening to the senior class’s vague nonsensical conversation, and then continued to wonder, “Anxiety, they’re probably feeling anxiety, that is an emotion right? I’m not feeling anxious is it because I know my work or is it because I haven’t felt an emotion that was my own, in a long time?”
From somewhere within his mind the memory of him being happy last week Friday appeared he was around his friends and he even had a smile. Then he wondered, “Was I happy? Was that happiness my own or was it a product of my need to please others by being happy and not upsetting the mood?”
Then Lahja said, “hey Eldred,”
Still deep in thought Eldred agreed, “Yes, that’s you, why do you always want to please others? You can’t live you life like this, what’s wrong with you!”
Lahja bit stressed now said, “Eldred!”
Finally hearing her he replied, “Oh, sorry ‘bout that.”
There was a brief pause as Lahja thought, “things must be hard for him: all that responsibility, ask him what’s wrong, he doesn’t talk much ‘bout it, he won’t tell you, focus, you have a basic astronomy exam to write.”
Then she asked, “Eldred, I was just wondering why a silicone based life form would be more stable in a sulphur rich environment?”
Without much time to think Eldred replied, “well basically, it’s like this: a protein-like compound consisting of a silicone skeleton is more stable in a sulphur rich environment, theoretically that is.”
Thankful Lahja said, “Thanks a lot, Eldred.”
Winking Eldred said, “It’s cool, don’t mention it.”
“I’m getting that feeling again! Why must they come now? Helmut?” Eldred inquisitively thought.
From somewhere within his body the spirit replied, “Yes Eldred, another demon is entering the realm.”
Without a word, Eldred ran to where the feeling was the most intense, the tarmac. Jasau, Mainio, and Odhran soon followed but Zuzen held them back saying, “We have no business with those things.”
Everyone moved as far from the tarmac as possible. As Eldred arrived at the area, he saw a figure forming about 50 metres away from him. The figure was at first colourless but gradually became red, and appeared to be bent on one knee, looking down, but it seemed to stand properly as it body took full shape. Preparing for a battle Eldred transformed to his guardian form. As soon as he did this, the forming figure lifted its left hand. A bright light caused Eldred to close his eyes involuntarily. Shining tears seeped out of his eyes as a burning sensation entered them. He turned his face away from the bright like to escape it. “Helmut, what’s happening to my eyes?” Eldred panicked.
“This demon is crafty; he placed a spell over you: the energy that is used to focus your senses, especially your eyes, is being diverted to other areas.” Helmut explained.
“So you’re saying I’m faster and stronger?” Eldred figured.
Helmut replied, “That’s true, but you’re less aware of your surroundings now.”
Eldred figured, “I better end this quickly then.”
Eldred opened his eyes and looked towards the cunning demon, between the strikes of blurriness and vision; he saw the demons total appearance. It was heavily armoured in red, it had four arms, two in the usual position, and two extending from on top of its shoulders next to its neck. They sling over his back in a resting possession bending down at the elbow and Dark symbols covered them; similar symbols covered its left hand. Out of its right hand, a large stake protruded, out of its forehead a large red horn jutted.
“Be gone demon!” Eldred commanded.
“I shall not, and my name is Dilandau!”
The sound of the demons name barely left his ears when Eldred suddenly saw the blue sky above him speckled with white clouds. The sights of the sky preceded the sound of an object suddenly crashing through the tarmac and the smell of freshly disturbed earth. Eldred sat up, and looked at the demon with his stake, mounted in his right arm, raised. The demon lowered his right arm and stood ready. Eldred felt his heart pound faster and harder in his chest. Seeing the blood on the stake, Eldred put his hand to his face, and then looked at his hand now covered with blood. He felt his face begin to burn as the blood disappeared.
“Helmut is that you?” Eldred inquired.
“I’m afraid not Eldred, this demon has set another spell on you; the scar that is over your eye will now, instead of producing blood, identify what action you’re performing, this demon is very sly, be careful.”
“I’ll try to be.” Looking at his large sword, Eldred said, “Helmut, I'm going to need faster weapons.”
Confident in Eldred’s decision, Helmut replied, “Sure thing.”
The large sword broke up in to a mass of light. The light separated into two groups of light. Each group of light produced a shorter sword. Stretching his hands towards the swords, they rose and travelled to their master. Catching the swords Eldred said, “Thanks.”
Eldred suddenly ran straight at Dilandau, seeing this, Dilandau also ran at Eldred. Eldred swung his two swords and Dilandau thrust his entire forearm forward. The earth gave way under the shock of the clash, as the two sunk slightly into it. The three weapons produced sparks and waves of heat as they rubbed against one another, the two wielders not giving the other an inch of an advantage, a stalemate. Gradually Dilandau’s two additional arms rose from their slung resting possession, they twisted and their palms pointed directly at Eldred, sensing a surge of energy, Eldred’s scar, over his eye, changed from white to a fiery red as he prepared to perform a fire attack, seeing this Dilandau created an ice aura attempting to block the fire attack. Eldred put more energy into the attack this caused a pain to rush through his back.
“Ah!” Eldred screamed in a fusion of agony and anger.
A bright light appeared along with a sound similar to thunder, as the two warriors flew from where they were standing. Eldred smelt something burning, as he flew through the air, he looked behind him and saw that his black wings were now fiery. He tilted his head back and seemed to glide back onto his feet. The sound of the examination bell and Dilandau’s crashing body brought conflicting thoughts to Eldred. Dilandau looked at Eldred the colour of the scar, over his eye, puzzled him, metallic silver.
The familiar group of students stood outside the examination room, although laughter was abundant. One could sense the nervousness in most of the senior candidates; this was one of their last examinations at school level. The next one that they would write, if any, would be an examination at a tertiary educational institution. Stress was obviously a factor, stress, which brought round anxiety, an emotion felt by most of the candidates.
Eldred, the adolescent given the spirit Malachi, wondered, “What are these people feeling, emotion, right?”
He thought about nothing and paused listening to the senior class’s vague nonsensical conversation, and then continued to wonder, “Anxiety, they’re probably feeling anxiety, that is an emotion right? I’m not feeling anxious is it because I know my work or is it because I haven’t felt an emotion that was my own, in a long time?”
From somewhere within his mind the memory of him being happy last week Friday appeared he was around his friends and he even had a smile. Then he wondered, “Was I happy? Was that happiness my own or was it a product of my need to please others by being happy and not upsetting the mood?”
Then Lahja said, “hey Eldred,”
Still deep in thought Eldred agreed, “Yes, that’s you, why do you always want to please others? You can’t live you life like this, what’s wrong with you!”
Lahja bit stressed now said, “Eldred!”
Finally hearing her he replied, “Oh, sorry ‘bout that.”
There was a brief pause as Lahja thought, “things must be hard for him: all that responsibility, ask him what’s wrong, he doesn’t talk much ‘bout it, he won’t tell you, focus, you have a basic astronomy exam to write.”
Then she asked, “Eldred, I was just wondering why a silicone based life form would be more stable in a sulphur rich environment?”
Without much time to think Eldred replied, “well basically, it’s like this: a protein-like compound consisting of a silicone skeleton is more stable in a sulphur rich environment, theoretically that is.”
Thankful Lahja said, “Thanks a lot, Eldred.”
Winking Eldred said, “It’s cool, don’t mention it.”
“I’m getting that feeling again! Why must they come now? Helmut?” Eldred inquisitively thought.
From somewhere within his body the spirit replied, “Yes Eldred, another demon is entering the realm.”
Without a word, Eldred ran to where the feeling was the most intense, the tarmac. Jasau, Mainio, and Odhran soon followed but Zuzen held them back saying, “We have no business with those things.”
Everyone moved as far from the tarmac as possible. As Eldred arrived at the area, he saw a figure forming about 50 metres away from him. The figure was at first colourless but gradually became red, and appeared to be bent on one knee, looking down, but it seemed to stand properly as it body took full shape. Preparing for a battle Eldred transformed to his guardian form. As soon as he did this, the forming figure lifted its left hand. A bright light caused Eldred to close his eyes involuntarily. Shining tears seeped out of his eyes as a burning sensation entered them. He turned his face away from the bright like to escape it. “Helmut, what’s happening to my eyes?” Eldred panicked.
“This demon is crafty; he placed a spell over you: the energy that is used to focus your senses, especially your eyes, is being diverted to other areas.” Helmut explained.
“So you’re saying I’m faster and stronger?” Eldred figured.
Helmut replied, “That’s true, but you’re less aware of your surroundings now.”
Eldred figured, “I better end this quickly then.”
Eldred opened his eyes and looked towards the cunning demon, between the strikes of blurriness and vision; he saw the demons total appearance. It was heavily armoured in red, it had four arms, two in the usual position, and two extending from on top of its shoulders next to its neck. They sling over his back in a resting possession bending down at the elbow and Dark symbols covered them; similar symbols covered its left hand. Out of its right hand, a large stake protruded, out of its forehead a large red horn jutted.
“Be gone demon!” Eldred commanded.
“I shall not, and my name is Dilandau!”
The sound of the demons name barely left his ears when Eldred suddenly saw the blue sky above him speckled with white clouds. The sights of the sky preceded the sound of an object suddenly crashing through the tarmac and the smell of freshly disturbed earth. Eldred sat up, and looked at the demon with his stake, mounted in his right arm, raised. The demon lowered his right arm and stood ready. Eldred felt his heart pound faster and harder in his chest. Seeing the blood on the stake, Eldred put his hand to his face, and then looked at his hand now covered with blood. He felt his face begin to burn as the blood disappeared.
“Helmut is that you?” Eldred inquired.
“I’m afraid not Eldred, this demon has set another spell on you; the scar that is over your eye will now, instead of producing blood, identify what action you’re performing, this demon is very sly, be careful.”
“I’ll try to be.” Looking at his large sword, Eldred said, “Helmut, I'm going to need faster weapons.”
Confident in Eldred’s decision, Helmut replied, “Sure thing.”
The large sword broke up in to a mass of light. The light separated into two groups of light. Each group of light produced a shorter sword. Stretching his hands towards the swords, they rose and travelled to their master. Catching the swords Eldred said, “Thanks.”
Eldred suddenly ran straight at Dilandau, seeing this, Dilandau also ran at Eldred. Eldred swung his two swords and Dilandau thrust his entire forearm forward. The earth gave way under the shock of the clash, as the two sunk slightly into it. The three weapons produced sparks and waves of heat as they rubbed against one another, the two wielders not giving the other an inch of an advantage, a stalemate. Gradually Dilandau’s two additional arms rose from their slung resting possession, they twisted and their palms pointed directly at Eldred, sensing a surge of energy, Eldred’s scar, over his eye, changed from white to a fiery red as he prepared to perform a fire attack, seeing this Dilandau created an ice aura attempting to block the fire attack. Eldred put more energy into the attack this caused a pain to rush through his back.
“Ah!” Eldred screamed in a fusion of agony and anger.
A bright light appeared along with a sound similar to thunder, as the two warriors flew from where they were standing. Eldred smelt something burning, as he flew through the air, he looked behind him and saw that his black wings were now fiery. He tilted his head back and seemed to glide back onto his feet. The sound of the examination bell and Dilandau’s crashing body brought conflicting thoughts to Eldred. Dilandau looked at Eldred the colour of the scar, over his eye, puzzled him, metallic silver.
