Songs and Prophecies of the Great Monarch

[climacus]

Check out this poem I wrote for my book:

The Great Monarch shall be as:
Eloquent as King David,
Generous to the poor as St. Edward the Confessor,
Stark and penitential as St. Louis IX,
Zealous as John Hunyadi,
Ferocious in battle as John Sobieski,
A Savior to Europe in honor of the Virgin as Don Juan Of Austria.
Daring as Richard the Lionheart,
Famed Conqueror as Alexander the Great. . .
The new Godfrey of Bouillon,
King Arthur reborn,
And Aragorn in the flesh.
And He shall be a type of Christ at the battle of Armageddon.
And more. . .


Climacus

 

[dustinzgirl]

I like it for its rhythm and rhyme, but I would say that it feels like you pulled from all different histories and prophecies, and that could be, well, disenheartening. Unless you use these as part of your book, which is another problem for me. I would like to see this using themes and not, precisely, names. But, if you must name names, then it is a rather decent mixture of beats and tones. Personally, I would prefer a little more originality.

 

[climacus]

dustinzgirl,

I agree with your critique. In the end I just wanted to know how it sounded. It fits into the book, cause the book is strange. I am writing a sort of fantasy about a king who I believe will rise up in real life. I will post it here soon if anyone is interested.


Climacus