Saltheart
Bitter Giant
- Joined
- Aug 22, 2006
- Messages
- 180
Well, this is the first poem I've ever written outside of a class, and I want to know if it "works". I really don't understand poetic mechanics, so I want to know if it "works".
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Heart’s End
Tightening tensely, I hear it,
Beating loud but beating not,
The slow dieing of a bleeding heart.
Even within Grim’s nest it sings:
Ever slower, ever weaker, ever fainter—
And now it hums.
It bleeds, it whispers, it howls.
Yet still it hums till the last,
Of unfinished tales, unrealized dreams, unfound hopes—
Of foolish fantasies, carefree childhood, and lost love—
Humming even abut the hawk’s eye.
Red tears trickle down its surface,
Beating ever slower, ever weaker, ever fainter;
And the humming finally stops.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Heart’s End
Tightening tensely, I hear it,
Beating loud but beating not,
The slow dieing of a bleeding heart.
Even within Grim’s nest it sings:
Ever slower, ever weaker, ever fainter—
And now it hums.
It bleeds, it whispers, it howls.
Yet still it hums till the last,
Of unfinished tales, unrealized dreams, unfound hopes—
Of foolish fantasies, carefree childhood, and lost love—
Humming even abut the hawk’s eye.
Red tears trickle down its surface,
Beating ever slower, ever weaker, ever fainter;
And the humming finally stops.
