The Dictionary of Martyrs 1: The 'A's

[polymorphikos]

This is the thread that we were all waiting for, wherein (if I have understood correctly) our entries are to be posted. What excitement, eh? I'll start. If I've made stuff-up please correct me, as it's the only way I'll learn



Aaosic, K’argilian.


Elected Autocrat of the Austro-Oceanic Republic from 3047 to 3060. Succeeded by General Petrov Sviazhsky after a coup d’etat by the phantom association "Hydra" after his successful victory in the inter-pronvincial caucus.

Aaosic was a staunch supporter of the Xenotheist cause, and this ultimately clashed with the homo-supremacist that formed the cabbalistic Hydra syndicate, forcing them to act after stacking the various provincial governments did nothing to counteract the incumbant's own elaborate methods of extortion and bribery. The original result of the election had been unpopular with the AOR plebians and large sectors of the merchant classes, who were of the mind that Aaosic was a mad zealot, automatically distasteful to the mostly moderate majority. Initially Sviazhsky was greeted with warmth, but the covert theocracy that his military clique began to implement did not sit well, although many of the upper classes, politicians and National Icons found the "homo superior" concept extremely attractive, and also began to be manipulated by lies spread by Sviazhsky and Hydra that humanity had in some way developed in a biologically-superior manner to the ETs, and been left upon Earth as a means of preventing it from full bloom.

K'argilian Aaosic is one of the key martyrs of the xenotheist cause, with many xenotheist believing that he would have brought a religious purity and nirvana-like state to the socially-troubled AOR. In reality, however, it appears that he was a profiteer. Political actions post First Contact indicate that he was in fact simply attempting to manoeuvre the AOR closer to the ETs, and saw his attempts (meeting with mised success) as the best way to gain some face with them and garner military support from xenotheist goverments to further his wars against the Antarctic cyber-state.

Aaosic was also outed as purely-heterosexual in 3038, to great cries of public outrage and widespread heterophobia, but later became lauded for his courage. Ironically, his lover was Bernadette Carnahan, famed champion of the ultimately-doomed Terrestrial Darwinism cause who converted to exogenism soon after Aaosic came to power. She was murdered three years later during an unfortunate altercation with the 300th clone-incarnate of Bernard Sumner.

Sumner, a famed radical Xenotheist cleric, as you no doubt know, was destroyed by Carnahan when she managged to smuggle a nuclear device into his evil killibot factory, and did not manage to get out again before said bomb detonated.

Entry by: Seiboenetiks

 

[Jayaprakash Satyamurthy]

Re: The Dictionary of Martyrs

Cool beans. Here's mine:

Aaaaaargh, Erasmus Rasmussen Sengupta Ptah

In considering the troubled provenance and allegiance of this troubled martyr, it is necessary to wade though a veritable labyrinth of corrupt and uncertain texts, guided only by scholarly practise and the promptings of my own divine intellect to sift fact from fiction and glean some particle of the ultimate truth.

Taking this exercise for granted, I shall not bore you with the minutiae of my endeavours in this regard (although I would direct the interested reader to my monogaph: Aaaaaargh It's 'Im: Comedo-Nautical Antecedents of the Venerable ERSP).
Instead, let us borrow a tactic from the pruveyors of purely fictive narratives and, get on with our story.

'The Venerable ERSP', or 'Aaaaaargh It's 'Im' as our subject is variously known, seems to have been one of the earliest martyrs of the theological schism this work revolves around. He was executed, on public demand, in the year 3162, as a result of the GuillotineOnCall weekly poll for the third week of March in that year (law and order at that time were enforced by private corporations who turned over the function of judiciary to interactive public polls on their various public touch-points. The reasons sated were simply 'preaches too much, teaches such rubbish'.

This clearly establishes that he was at odds with popular sentiment at the time. However, the question remains: whose popular sentiment?

Some biographical evidence (largely anecdotal) regarding Aaaaaargh has survived to the present day, and may be useful in this regard:

In his seventh year, the young Aaaargh was given a DissectoAlien: Pelurianz toy to play with. This was an ostensibly educational offering that would teach the young one the rudiments of the anatomical specifics of one of various known non-human species. This ghoulish novelty had a deep impact on the young lad, who soon began dissecting small domestic animals, insects, household robots and a few of his younger siblings in order to compare their inner workings. He quickly determined that the innards of the alien were the most aethetically pleasing, elegant and clearly advanced of all. Besides, no one ever punished him for taking apart his toy, whereas his further quests for knowledge were cruelly misinterpeted and even punished by his parents and peers. It is at this point that he formulated the slogan 'aliens roxxorz'.

At the age of sixteen, Aaaaaargh was assigned to an orbital Borstal School, in order to isolate him from other children and attempt to fathom his odd behaviour. This mainly consisted of drawing up extensive charts of comparative human-alien anatomy and then manipulating the remains of various human beings (usually stolen from Fundy Gravesites or MedSchool DumbCadaver Banks, but not exclusively) to conform better to some alien archetype or other. (It is rumoured that the Azure Octopodal, of which thepresent writer is of course a noted exemplar, was his most especial paragon of an elegant anatomocal disposition). He spend the next decade of his life in total isolation, save for counselling sessions and access to extensive data-libraries.

At 26, Aaaaaargh was re-assigned to a highly secure laboratory where his unique psychoses were harnessed in the actual process of researching into the anatomy of questionably acquired alien cadavers. He established himself as a trusted and excellent worker within weeks. Within months, hehad turned the facility into a ghastly remaking factory, where he transformed willing or unwilling human volunteers into alien-analogues, who were usually biologically non-viable and rapidly expired. Usually. One particularly ghastly incident (of which we know nothing save that it involved three pairs of Siamese twins, a Mongoloid Mongolian and a macrocephalic Aztec) led to investigation, the liquidation of this facility and Aaaargh's re-assignment, tnrough some beauraucratic quirk, to the post of Anatomy Lecturer in the famous Nile Delta New Age University.

His stint here appeared to be placid - until it emerged that, in his private quarters off-campus, he was carrying on with his goulish obsessions. This time, he raided the ancient tombs of the long-dead overlords of the Black Country and re-configured their thus-far inviolate bodies into strane and wonderful alien forms. Upon discovery, he set up camp on the very pinnacle of the fabled Great Pyramid at Gizeh (a monolith worth of even so divine a race as my own) and began to preach a confused creed that revolved around alien anatomy, human mutability and the sonnets of John Milton.

After initially serving as an additional tourist draw, his self-imposed ministry soon became a nuisance, as he started to prey upon the tourists for further specimens for his odd activities. It was at this point that the public poll was held and the verdict recounted above was delivered.

Aaaaaargh was captured by a crack troop of augmented baboons and beheaded in the shadow of the very edifice that he had come to dominate in his last days.

His last words were: 'Oh, those labyrinthine colons...'

Aaaargh has been claimed by the exogenic camp as a pathological alien-slasher akin to Allen Killum, but this reasoning is specious at best. Apart from the short stint under government control, he never revelled in dissecting alien cadavers, choosing instead to focus on re-doing human specimens (dead or living) in the image of some alien race or other. It is clear that he was a devout (if slghtly misguided) Xenotheist who took literally to heart the axiom, common to many religions, that one must strive to become like unto divinity.

In this repect, he may better be seen as a close fore-runner of the renowned querilla plastic surgeon, ET Mugjobbzz.

Entry by: Billabot Bibilbot Blotabill

 

[Esioul]

Re: The Dictionary of Martyrs

Abloncius, Arnold

Arnold Abloncius was born in 3059, this incident considered a mistake by many, including his mother. Stephanie Abloncius was a somewhat well known adherant of Xenotheism: many of her speeches at various anti-exogenism rallies have been documented. Her son was consdiered even more of a mistake, therefore, when it became obvious that he had joined POTA (People other than aliens), a radical, extremist organisation. In 3075 he was discovered escaping from the scene of a riot outside an ETivine TempleBooth (TM), and was arrested of suspicion of uncouth behaivour and blaphsemy. However, within a few months he suceeded in escaping from prison with the help of Gavin Twiggle, (who was an ex-member of POTA), and a penknife. By 3081 Abloncius had split away from POTA (which he considered to be too violant) and had written a number of pamphlets denouncing aliens as divinities and proposing the new and exciting concept of aliens and humans all being part of a creation created by other, higher divinities.

Stephanie Abloncius was an elderly woman by 3083, but was able to assist in the location of her son, who had been in hiding due to the angry reactions to his writings of a number of Xenotheist zealots. Arnold Abloncius was expected to resume his sentence (with the addition of 40 years), however due to an accident involving a penknife and a Xenotheist leaflet he lost his life in 3035.

See Gavin Twiggle and Pimriggian Gobbvine.

Entry by Aspasia

 

[scalem X]

Avtylodactil, jarabee nahabahaba

She was queen of the habahaba from 8 pm the third of march 3088 to 3 am the twentieth of march 3088. She was the first member of the royal nahabahabyan family of habahaba's to live more than two habahabayan weeks. Off course there was Bodhylodactil, narato dehabahaba that wasn't beheaded for a full month, but he isn't considered much of a legend by the rebyhabahabayan counsel for royal legends, since he was born death and it just took a month for the ten doctors to agree over the diagnosis. Shortly after he was burried an assassin opened his tomb in order to cut of his head to claim the traditional bounty that is given for all royal habahabayan's. But Avtylodactil, jarabee nahabahaba wasn't stupid, she had gathered a numerous amount of royal habahabayan's head's to trade with the assassins that would come after her once she became queen. But after the 89999999 bounty hunters had received each one head, she had to give the 90000000th her own.

entry by:Hasdaram