Hello! I've posted one excerpt here before, and enjoyed the feedback, so I thought that I might post another. Just a little context here, this excerpt introduces a young man named Adowen, who is one of the main protagonists of an epic fantasy novel I am working on. It is an early chapter, and so not much plot development is going on. But, I know that the early chapters need to grab the reader, and so I would love some feedback. Thanks for reading!
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The winter sun shone brightly as it moved up the cloudless Bodden sky, but its rays did not lessen the cold that pierced through Adowen as he raised his axe and took aim at the log in front of him. It was unseasonably cold considering how late in the winter it was – typically by the time Magaria Day came about, the earliest of the plants and flowers were beginning to bloom. Yet, the cold had lingered a little later this year, which was why Adowen had to wake up early and chop extra wood. In a single, swift motion, he swung down and split the log in two. He picked up the two halves, tossed them into the pile he had started, and walked over to grab another piece. Somewhere at the edge of the woods that bordered his fathers land, an early bird chirped in song.
As he walked over to the stack of wood that still needed to be chopped, Adowen stopped for a moment to breathe in the air. Although it was cold, the air felt nice and crisp in his lungs. He had been up for the better part of an hour, but the sun had barely risen above the horizon. Adowen paused a moment, fresh log in hand, to watch the sun. It colored the sky over his father’s land with deep oranges and faint reds.
His father’s land was beautiful, with the Halees River carving out the southern edge, the Edgewood forest as the northern border and curving down to meet the river on the west. A short distance to the east was the trader village of Cataway, where Adowen and his family occasionally went when they had business. The house that his father built sat atop a hill overlooking the river, and had a view down to the village. When his father’s land was kissed by the radiant sunrise, it was truly breathtaking, and Adowen stopped a moment to appreciate it. As much as he hated having to rise early for extra chores, he was glad to be awake for this.
“Adowen.”
Adowen looked to his left; his father was walking toward him with a bow in hand. When he got close, Adowen tried to make it out – it wasn’t one that he recognized his dad as having made.
“Adowen, son, wood does not chop itself,” his father said. He was a chiseled man, whose compact muscles had not waned with age. He kept his full beard neatly trimmed, and had a commanding presence to accompany his gruff voice. Adowen could only imagine what it must have been like to have been an archer in his father’s unit.
“Yes, father.” Adowen pointed toward the sky, where the sun had not yet made it completely past the horizon. “I was just taking a moment to appreciate the sunrise.”
His father followed Adowen’s gaze and he nodded in agreement. A slight smile crossed his lips. “Aye, son. It’s a nice one. Always a grand feeling when the sun washes over land that you know is yours. But, just as well you weren’t chopping - I came out to ask you to save a few logs so that I can use them for bows. The cold probably won’t last much longer and I don’t think we’ll need more firewood than what we have, and I don’t want to chop down a tree if we don’t have to.”
“Sure, father.” Adowen gestured toward the bow in his father’s hand. “I don’t recognize that. Is that new?”
Adowen’s father looked down. “This? It’s a new design I’m working on. See here? By attaching horns and sinew here, and curving the ends more, I can increase the bow’s draw, and produce a more powerful shot. Here, take a look,” he said as he handed the bow to Adowen. It looked impressive; it was shorter than the longbows his father made for the military, and the ends had a more dramatic recurve. The wrapping in front was cured leather, and at either end was ground horn attached to the bow with sinew.
“This looks nice, father. Will you be selling this instead of the longbows?”
His father chuckled. “No, Adowen, I’ve still a ways to go before I perfect this. Besides, the longbows take only a few hours each. This bow took me about 3 months, and that’s not including the earlier ones that snapped under pressure. Actually, if you like, later tonight we can shoot some targets. I need another opinion on how it handles.”
“Sure, father, I’ll look forward to it,” Adowen said. Archery practice was always fun, even if he was nowhere near the skill that his father was. This would give him a good break to the day – in the mornings, he did chores before coming in to eat breakfast with his family. After breakfast, he and his mother would spend the late morning and early afternoon studying, and his father would get to work on making bows. Sometimes, his father would head into town to pick up or drop off orders, but mostly he spent the afternoons in the workshop fashioning longbows. After dinner, Adowen would practice archery, do his homework, or help his father with making bows.
“Ok, Adowen. Let’s go inside. Your mother is waiting for us.”
“Yes, father.” With that, Adowen handed the bow back to his father, grabbed the axe lodged in the tree stump, and walked back to the house. His mother was waiting for them in the doorway, with a smile and a wave. “Come get your breakfast, Adowen,” she said. “And eat plenty, because you’re doing more multiplication today.”
Adowen sighed, and his parents chuckled. He hated math. Language and History were his favorite subjects. His mother would spend days on an individual subject before changing to another, and lately she had been spending extra time with mathematics and science. He could never understand the importance of math or science. To Adowen, it was important to know how to read and write, but things like division and biology seemed to serve no purpose.
His mother disagreed. But, then again, of course she would disagree. Before she and his father were married, she had been a schoolteacher in nearby Thurton. When his father was discharged from the Magarian Army and bought the land that they now called home, she gave up her teaching position to be with him and raise Adowen. She was a kind and good-hearted woman, of average height and with flowing black hair. She had a passion for reading, and loved to go into the village to pick up the latest publications whenever they arrived. She spent her days maintaining the home, and teaching Adowen all that she knew, and she spent her nights by the hearth reading whatever books and news prints she could get from town.
This morning, like most mornings, she prepared breakfast for the family: wheat bread purchased from the miller in town, milk, and deer meat from deer that Adowen and his father hunted in the Edgewoods. During the summer, his family would occasionally enjoy eggs and butter that they purchased from town, or berries that grew in the woods near their land. His father picked the berries; some weren’t safe to eat and Adowen had not yet been able to tell the difference. In the winter, the weather was cold enough to preserve meat for longer, and so they ate more of that.
Before he went to sit with his parents, Adowen stopped by the washroom to wash the sweat off his face. He rinsed his hands in the washbowl, splashed his face, and looked into the mirror. He had his father’s features: dark brown eyes and hair, a chiseled face and lithe muscles. He normally kept his curly hair short, but he had let it grow for the winter - It was probably about time to trim it. At 17, he shaved everyday, but did not have the full beard that his father had. He splashed his face one more time and headed to the table, where his parents were waiting for him.
Together, they ate breakfast and conversed. Adowen enjoyed mealtime with his family; he did not have much interaction with others. Because he was home-schooled, he did not know many of the boys his age from town. On occasion, he would go to village with his father to help when he had finished an order of bows, but they rarely stayed long enough for Adowen to strike up a conversation. Most of his father’s orders were mass orders for the Magaria military, and Adowen would help carry the bows to town and load them onto one of the many boats that stopped at Cataway. Occasionally, his father received custom orders for fancier bows with intricate designs; sometimes he even dealt with exotic materials. Some of those bows were for show only, which his father didn’t care for, but he never refused steady work.
Adowen’s father spoke. “Adowen, yesterday I picked up a couple new orders. One is a standard military request for 250 longbows, and the other is a custom order that may take me some time to complete. Do you feel comfortable starting on the longbows while I fill the custom order?”
At this, Adowen was surprised. He had helped his father plenty with bow making over the years, but he had never taken an order and worked on it without his father’s guiding hand. “Sure, father. When is the order due?”
“Not until the summer. But, I figure you can get started after breakfast if you like?” Adowen’s father looked at his mother, who nodded her approval. That was fine with Adowen, it meant no multiplication today and no homework tonight.
“Yes, father. I’ll get started right away,” said Adowen.
“Good, son,” said his father as he finished up with his meal. Soon after, he excused himself, leaving Adowen and his mother at the table.
Adowen looked at his mother. “Mother, are you sure it’s ok if I don’t study today?”
She smiled at him warmly. “Yes, Adowen. Your father needs your help today, and it’s important you learn to be a bowyer. After all, God willing, you will follow in your father’s footsteps, and you must learn his craft sometime.”
Adowen took that in for a moment. Then, his eyes lit up. “Does that mean I’ll never have to study science again?”
At that, his mother laughed out loud. “No, son. You still have more to learn. But enjoy the day off!”
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The winter sun shone brightly as it moved up the cloudless Bodden sky, but its rays did not lessen the cold that pierced through Adowen as he raised his axe and took aim at the log in front of him. It was unseasonably cold considering how late in the winter it was – typically by the time Magaria Day came about, the earliest of the plants and flowers were beginning to bloom. Yet, the cold had lingered a little later this year, which was why Adowen had to wake up early and chop extra wood. In a single, swift motion, he swung down and split the log in two. He picked up the two halves, tossed them into the pile he had started, and walked over to grab another piece. Somewhere at the edge of the woods that bordered his fathers land, an early bird chirped in song.
As he walked over to the stack of wood that still needed to be chopped, Adowen stopped for a moment to breathe in the air. Although it was cold, the air felt nice and crisp in his lungs. He had been up for the better part of an hour, but the sun had barely risen above the horizon. Adowen paused a moment, fresh log in hand, to watch the sun. It colored the sky over his father’s land with deep oranges and faint reds.
His father’s land was beautiful, with the Halees River carving out the southern edge, the Edgewood forest as the northern border and curving down to meet the river on the west. A short distance to the east was the trader village of Cataway, where Adowen and his family occasionally went when they had business. The house that his father built sat atop a hill overlooking the river, and had a view down to the village. When his father’s land was kissed by the radiant sunrise, it was truly breathtaking, and Adowen stopped a moment to appreciate it. As much as he hated having to rise early for extra chores, he was glad to be awake for this.
“Adowen.”
Adowen looked to his left; his father was walking toward him with a bow in hand. When he got close, Adowen tried to make it out – it wasn’t one that he recognized his dad as having made.
“Adowen, son, wood does not chop itself,” his father said. He was a chiseled man, whose compact muscles had not waned with age. He kept his full beard neatly trimmed, and had a commanding presence to accompany his gruff voice. Adowen could only imagine what it must have been like to have been an archer in his father’s unit.
“Yes, father.” Adowen pointed toward the sky, where the sun had not yet made it completely past the horizon. “I was just taking a moment to appreciate the sunrise.”
His father followed Adowen’s gaze and he nodded in agreement. A slight smile crossed his lips. “Aye, son. It’s a nice one. Always a grand feeling when the sun washes over land that you know is yours. But, just as well you weren’t chopping - I came out to ask you to save a few logs so that I can use them for bows. The cold probably won’t last much longer and I don’t think we’ll need more firewood than what we have, and I don’t want to chop down a tree if we don’t have to.”
“Sure, father.” Adowen gestured toward the bow in his father’s hand. “I don’t recognize that. Is that new?”
Adowen’s father looked down. “This? It’s a new design I’m working on. See here? By attaching horns and sinew here, and curving the ends more, I can increase the bow’s draw, and produce a more powerful shot. Here, take a look,” he said as he handed the bow to Adowen. It looked impressive; it was shorter than the longbows his father made for the military, and the ends had a more dramatic recurve. The wrapping in front was cured leather, and at either end was ground horn attached to the bow with sinew.
“This looks nice, father. Will you be selling this instead of the longbows?”
His father chuckled. “No, Adowen, I’ve still a ways to go before I perfect this. Besides, the longbows take only a few hours each. This bow took me about 3 months, and that’s not including the earlier ones that snapped under pressure. Actually, if you like, later tonight we can shoot some targets. I need another opinion on how it handles.”
“Sure, father, I’ll look forward to it,” Adowen said. Archery practice was always fun, even if he was nowhere near the skill that his father was. This would give him a good break to the day – in the mornings, he did chores before coming in to eat breakfast with his family. After breakfast, he and his mother would spend the late morning and early afternoon studying, and his father would get to work on making bows. Sometimes, his father would head into town to pick up or drop off orders, but mostly he spent the afternoons in the workshop fashioning longbows. After dinner, Adowen would practice archery, do his homework, or help his father with making bows.
“Ok, Adowen. Let’s go inside. Your mother is waiting for us.”
“Yes, father.” With that, Adowen handed the bow back to his father, grabbed the axe lodged in the tree stump, and walked back to the house. His mother was waiting for them in the doorway, with a smile and a wave. “Come get your breakfast, Adowen,” she said. “And eat plenty, because you’re doing more multiplication today.”
Adowen sighed, and his parents chuckled. He hated math. Language and History were his favorite subjects. His mother would spend days on an individual subject before changing to another, and lately she had been spending extra time with mathematics and science. He could never understand the importance of math or science. To Adowen, it was important to know how to read and write, but things like division and biology seemed to serve no purpose.
His mother disagreed. But, then again, of course she would disagree. Before she and his father were married, she had been a schoolteacher in nearby Thurton. When his father was discharged from the Magarian Army and bought the land that they now called home, she gave up her teaching position to be with him and raise Adowen. She was a kind and good-hearted woman, of average height and with flowing black hair. She had a passion for reading, and loved to go into the village to pick up the latest publications whenever they arrived. She spent her days maintaining the home, and teaching Adowen all that she knew, and she spent her nights by the hearth reading whatever books and news prints she could get from town.
This morning, like most mornings, she prepared breakfast for the family: wheat bread purchased from the miller in town, milk, and deer meat from deer that Adowen and his father hunted in the Edgewoods. During the summer, his family would occasionally enjoy eggs and butter that they purchased from town, or berries that grew in the woods near their land. His father picked the berries; some weren’t safe to eat and Adowen had not yet been able to tell the difference. In the winter, the weather was cold enough to preserve meat for longer, and so they ate more of that.
Before he went to sit with his parents, Adowen stopped by the washroom to wash the sweat off his face. He rinsed his hands in the washbowl, splashed his face, and looked into the mirror. He had his father’s features: dark brown eyes and hair, a chiseled face and lithe muscles. He normally kept his curly hair short, but he had let it grow for the winter - It was probably about time to trim it. At 17, he shaved everyday, but did not have the full beard that his father had. He splashed his face one more time and headed to the table, where his parents were waiting for him.
Together, they ate breakfast and conversed. Adowen enjoyed mealtime with his family; he did not have much interaction with others. Because he was home-schooled, he did not know many of the boys his age from town. On occasion, he would go to village with his father to help when he had finished an order of bows, but they rarely stayed long enough for Adowen to strike up a conversation. Most of his father’s orders were mass orders for the Magaria military, and Adowen would help carry the bows to town and load them onto one of the many boats that stopped at Cataway. Occasionally, his father received custom orders for fancier bows with intricate designs; sometimes he even dealt with exotic materials. Some of those bows were for show only, which his father didn’t care for, but he never refused steady work.
Adowen’s father spoke. “Adowen, yesterday I picked up a couple new orders. One is a standard military request for 250 longbows, and the other is a custom order that may take me some time to complete. Do you feel comfortable starting on the longbows while I fill the custom order?”
At this, Adowen was surprised. He had helped his father plenty with bow making over the years, but he had never taken an order and worked on it without his father’s guiding hand. “Sure, father. When is the order due?”
“Not until the summer. But, I figure you can get started after breakfast if you like?” Adowen’s father looked at his mother, who nodded her approval. That was fine with Adowen, it meant no multiplication today and no homework tonight.
“Yes, father. I’ll get started right away,” said Adowen.
“Good, son,” said his father as he finished up with his meal. Soon after, he excused himself, leaving Adowen and his mother at the table.
Adowen looked at his mother. “Mother, are you sure it’s ok if I don’t study today?”
She smiled at him warmly. “Yes, Adowen. Your father needs your help today, and it’s important you learn to be a bowyer. After all, God willing, you will follow in your father’s footsteps, and you must learn his craft sometime.”
Adowen took that in for a moment. Then, his eyes lit up. “Does that mean I’ll never have to study science again?”
At that, his mother laughed out loud. “No, son. You still have more to learn. But enjoy the day off!”
