Who's for a limerick?

[JDP]

Well, we've had haiku, now let's go a bit more lowbrow and see who's got some quality limericks in 'em! To start the ball rolling, here are some (weak and clearly amateur) examples that I made up:

A young Scotsman who went by Dalgleish,
Whilst out walking, discovered a peach.
As he cracked his first tooth
He realised that the fruit
Was a cricket ball well soaked in bleach.

An explorer in deepest Sumatra,
Lay in deep contemplation of Sartre.
As he pondered existence
He enquired with persistence
If the cannibals wanted to barter.

I guess it might make sense if yours have a bit more of a SFF theme... I should probably reiterate that this is a family-friendly site so nothing too offensive, please! In the mean time, I'll try to think of some SFF-relevant ones...

 

[chrispenycate]

Now, you know you should not get me started
This perversion's of depths best uncharted
In this previous thread
Matters came to a head
Ere my muse, overburdened, departed.

http://www.chronicles-network.com/forum/33603-advanced-limmerickitis.html?highlight=advanced

 

[HardScienceFan]

Now, you know you should not get me started
This perversion's of depths best uncharted
In this previous thread
Matters came to a head
Ere my muse, overburdened, departed.

http://www.chronicles-network.com/forum/33603-advanced-limmerickitis.html?highlight=advanced

Such geniuses,PYAN,The Venerable Chris....
Ben(no good at haikus,iambic pentameters,or any verse)

 

[JDP]

D'oh!

I neglected when starting my threading,
To check all the relevant headings.
Consider me sore
That it's all come before
And confirmed that my thread is worth shredding.

 

[HardScienceFan]

I'm not a genius at rhyming,
always something wrong with the timing,
at the end of the verse,
matters get worse,
...hang on,the doorbell is chiming

 

[Duchessprozac]

Lief was so good at magic,
but her life turned out quite tragic,
while casting a spell,
she fell down a well,
and died after swallowing cat sick.

 

[Talysia]

I'll have a go at a fantasy-themed limerick

Two fairies, a dwarf and a sprite,
Went out on a quest for the night.
It went just as they planned,
And they found a new land
Full of magic and hidden from sight.

 

[Peter Graham]

Young Gamgee so needed a poo
That he blocked up the pan of the loo
Said Frodo to Sam
"You think I'm the man
But you've got a ring of power too!"

I should be ashamed, at my age...

Regards,

Peter

 

[Pyan]

And so you should be!
But that's just so funny!!!

 

[HardScienceFan]

the green creature called pyan,
was so terribly fond of lyin',
that,when confronted with the truth,
(this,really happened,forsooth),
he suddenly started cryin'
Gods forgive me
the Horrific creature called Ben,
posesses every now and again,
an urge so perverse,
to create a bad verse,
that he should go to the pen

 

[Dafydd Cymraeg]

I punctuated my words on the writer's block,
reducing and sluicing to alphabet stock,
with a little ole' hash,
a dash, and backslash,
I passively tensed them in my author's wok.

--

Tossed on the plate the words looked bare,
under the eye of the editors stare.
I'm not an evil man,
just a grammatical fan,
so give me some words that look fair.

--

The hobbit had a piercing stare,
and two large feet covered in hair.
Off on a quest,
with mates he did jest,
Until a dragon he found in a lair.

--

La, la, la - La, la, la - La, la, la - La,
I wonder if I've gotten away with it so far?
not really a word,
it's kind of absurd,
But I'm sure it'll make me a star!

--

ENOUGH ALREADY!!!!!