The Michelangelo's Key

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Amorim104

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Hello, I am Brazilian writer , author of a romance of 356 pages in the style of The Da Vinci Code. I look an publishing company

Prolog

Egypt, August 1927
Dr Albert Raidech, trying to remove the sweat from his face with his hands, lifted his head up and focused his attention at the sphinx – the stone colossus which, at three hundred meters away from where he was, contemplated him with the same enigmatic look that for millenniums bewildered those who stood before her.
-Here. I found it, screamed the expedition’s native guide. Dr Raidech ran towards the man who was gesticulating frenetically, pointing to what seemed to be a huge gravestone bearing some inscriptions worn off by time and which obstructed the entrance to an underground tomb. The honorable British professor and Egyptologist cleaned the surface carefully. His face shone with joy as he contemplated the bicephalous eagle.
He had at last discovered pharaoh Amenofis IV’s lost tomb – the priest pharaoh, the great Egyptian king who had terrified the ancient world. The gravestone was removed, and Dr Raidech holding a torch, followed by his assistant Max Fuchon and by the natives, descended the steps of a place that had not been accessed for millenniums. The mortuary chamber was an immense rectangle. The walls had works in high relief, representing ancient forgotten wars. But, those faded in importance if compared to the dozens of statues in natural size of humans and gods from ancient Egypt.
-Professor, this is gold! – said Max Fuchon, as he removed the layer of dust that covered god Horus’ eloquent face – a man whose head was that of a falcon. Extraordinary splendor – treasures piled up wherever the eyes could reach.
-Where is the sarcophagus? – asked the Egyptologist coming back to reality. They looked at each other –sarcophagus? They had discovered a pharaonic treasure why then was he concerned with a sarcophagus?
-Professor Albert – said the assistant – there might not be a sarcophagus.
-That doesn’t make any sense, Max! If this is a tomb, there ought to be a sarcophagus- he said as he walked towards the bottom of the tomb, indifferent to the dozens of chests filled with gold and jewelry to the point that some lay on the ground, causing the professor to trip over them.
-My God, look at these inscriptions, Max!
The young assistant was reluctant in deviating his eyes from the enormous alabaster vases, decorated at the upper part with diamond-encrusted jewels.
-Max, look at this – continued the professor. The assistant turned his eyes to the walls pointed by the professor.
-What do those drawings have in special, professor? – he asked, his mind still on the alabaster vases.
-The Egyptian plagues…-continued the old man staring at the drawings.
-But, whoever produces them uses the same attire as the pharaohs! Max, this is amazing!
The assistant’s attention turned to the Egyptologist.
-What do you mean, professor? Were not the Egyptian plagues, according to the Bible, sent by Moses?
-Yes, they were, but the inscriptions here show a pharaoh sending the same plagues. This proves that...
-Professor look here, this is a lever!
Over time corrosion had caused part of the inscription on the wall to collapse, uncovering a lever that otherwise had been hidden.
-The sarcophagus has to be here somewhere behind these inscriptions – help me with the lever, Max!
-It is stuck, professor!
Part of the wall had moved a couple of centimeters.
-Look, the wall has moved!
Forcing the wall with their shoulders, Max and the natives caused it to move slowly, disclosing a secret chamber.
-Heavens! Amenofis IV’s tomb – exclaimed the old man in awe.
-In pure solid gold, professor!
Shaped as a semicircle, its walls had inscriptions they could not understand. A golden sarcophagus with a bicephalous eagle in lapis lazuli at its upper portion lay in the center.
-Look at this, Max –said the professor, pointing to the drawing in high relief.
-It is odd, professor, I have never seen an Egyptian representation of a falcon with two heads!
-No, Max … - the professor was visibly moved- it is not a falcon…
***
-What are you trying to say? –asked the assistant rather surprised.
-This is not a falcon but a bicephalous eagle or rather it is a phoenix, a very special type of eagle, according to mythology…
-The one reborn from aches?
-You guessed right, Max, now… it is not an Egyptian symbol but a Sumerian one.
-Sumerian? … But, what would a Sumerian symbol be doing on an Egyptian sarcophagus?
-Max – the old man went on, overtaken with emotion: we may, by opening this sarcophagus, be facing one of the most terrible secrets ever revealed to man; one that we believed to be lost in the night of times. I fear, Max, that mankind is not prepared to unfold!
-Professor –the young man’s eyes brightened – I am more curious than afraid. What could there be inside a sarcophagus over four thousand years old to make one scared?
-My friend- said the old man- you must have heard about the criminal fire that destroyed the famous library at Alexandria, did you not?
-Yes, it was the act of an irrational Arabian caliph who believed that he was saving the world from evil by destroying all the knowledge kept there since ancient times.
-Not everything was destroyed, young man, not everything. The famous library was set on fire in 646 of our era. Julius Cesar, seduced by Cleopatra, went to Egypt in 48 B.C. Upon his return, he took some books with him from that library. Most of them are kept today at the library in the Vatican, natural heir to the Roman Empire. But, when German troops invaded Rome, in 1527, under the command of Carlos V, some of these books were sold to Venetian tradesmen, and from there they ended up at the Museum of London -– books of disturbing contents, accessed only by a small group of researchers connected to the British crown.
-Are you one of them? – asked the young man somehow fascinated.
-Yes, Max, I am one of them.
-But, what do they say, professor? The assistant could not control himself.
-There is a very old papyrus among them that was taken to Alexandria by Alexander the Great, hence the conquering of Judea, probably subtracted from old secret Judaic sects. Well – this papyrus reveal to us the existence of a very ancient city.
-From the beginning of civilization?
Yes, but not one of those we know originating from the fertile crescendo and the delta of the Nile. More ancient than that, perhaps even pre-diluvium: the city of Lagahs - according to the document – the city of sin.
-City of sin? I do not get it professor!
-According to the papyrus, this city was the very cause of the diluvium. You probably will not find anything about this in the Encyclopedia Britannica, since there are no more than ten people in the world who know anything about this city, but let me proceed: -according to the papyrus, and here we will find some facts that go hand- in - hand with the Bible and which are: the children of God (angels) were seduced by the daughters of men (women). Men extremely powerful, who oppressed and enslaved other people, were born from such unions. Their power did not come from their physical strength, but from the secret knowledge revealed to them by their exquisite parents. Those men were so depraved that they founded the city of Lagahs and from there they subdued the whole ancient world. Because of this, God punished them with the diluvium to put an end to evil on Earth. Only Noah and his family were saved to populate it again. The papyrus tell us that Ninrode, grandchild to Cao, one of Noah’s sons, while digging the earth to start another city, between the Tigers and the Euphrates rivers, found a book – not any book, but one forged in gold - the Lagahs’ Golden Book, as it came to be known. In the possession of this book, his mind had access to the hidden mysteries of magic. Because of the evil he incorporated, Ninrode ended up expelled from the city he had founded, taking refuge in Egypt. Under the pharaoh’s protection, he initiated a dynasty of magicians whose power spread fear everywhere.
-Janes and Jambres, the magicians from Egypt who, under the order of the pharaoh, resisted Moses?
-Yes, Max. These magicians descended from them. They however accumulated so much mystic power and had formed such a stronghold that they ended up dethroning and killing the pharaoh himself. They became Egypt’s rulers until one of the most notorious magicians from the Ninrode’s dynasty took the power.
-Amenofis IV? – the young man was in ecstasy.
-That is it, Max –smiled the professor.
-And the book? – Both of them rested their eyes on the sarcophagus.
***
-Do you understand it now, Max, my fear in opening this sarcophagus?
Would men be prepared to face the terrible mysteries this book contains? There is more. I have not told you everything… Amenofis IV had accumulated power and magical knowledge to such an extent that his mind became perverted to extreme. He would loot the people he conquered inflicting in them atrocious punishment. He did not even spare the children, using them in his magic rites. According to the book, the sacrifice of virgin girls gave him even greater magical power beyond human comprehension. It was this pharaoh who, through magic, bewitched and destroyed the wisest man in the world – King Salmon. Under the spell of sexual magic, the old Israeli king was seduced by the beauty of the pharaoh’s daughter, Aksulamim, an Egyptian princess who being an average looking girl became, by the magical power of her father, the most beautiful woman on Earth at that time. Salmon surrendered to such a beautiful sight. The fact that Aksulamim, like her father, could resort to magic, provoked God’s ire towards Salmon and the subsequent division of the Israeli kingdom.
-Professor, before you answer any other question, we must make sure that the book is in there! All this could be just a tale, don’t you think? Let’s open the sarcophagus.
Max, you are right –there’s no reason for us to keep inflicting pain on ourselves. Help me open it.
The use of a tool as a lever, at the inferior opening of the sarcophagus, caused it to give in slowly, opening itself in two parts.
-By Allah! Look, Max, the Lagahs’Golden Book.
The old man had to grab the sarcophagus’ boarding sides- his legs seemed to fail him. The assistant could not believe his eyes- there it was – the handsome golden volume, in high- relief details: a bicephalus eagle in the center of a pyramid. His hand reached his pocket in search of something.
-Professor, pass me the book…
The old man did not take heed – he was fixed on his thoughts till he made a decision:
-We are going to take it to the British Museum, Max…
-Professor … I asked you to hand me the book!
The Egyptologist turned to the assistant, his smile ceasing at the moment he saw a gun pointing at him.
-Max, what does this mean? He asked, perplexed.
-I am sorry, professor, but there are some things that you would not understand. Have you ever noticed my family’s code of arms?
-What has your family to do with this finding?
-It is this! The young man held the gun in his left had, showing in his annular finger a seal with the design of an eagle similar to the one at the sarcophagus. Perhaps you still do not understand but I am going to explain: do you remember you told me just a while ago that these manuscripts dealt with an ancient secret society? Well I am a member of this secret society.
-Stop playing, Max. You are not even Jewish! – the old man said, visibly annoyed.
-You are right. I am not a Jew! – I am an Englishman and I come from an ancient lineage. But, it is hard for me to understand how you failed to grasp the dynamics of life, being the scholar that you are. You thought that the mysteries of Lagahs had been kept locked in this book throughout the ages, did you not, professor? You were utterly wrong!
It is true that terrible mysteries given for lost will now be revealed, but it is also true that other magicians existed (some still exist today) who, like Amenofis IV, dedicated themselves to improving their magical knowledge passed on to them from generation to generation from the illuminated.
-What is the purpose? Why so much secret? Perplexity had given away to doubt.
-What is the purpose? Go on professor, don’t be so naÔve! Knowledge is power and the more exclusive it is the more vigor and force will be bestowed upon the person holding it. Just consider the bicephalus phoenix’s emblem at Alexander the Great, Charles V and Napoleon …Where do you think that the power they gained came from?
-My God! - the old man exclaimed- this is insane!
No, professor, there is no space for insanity. Secret knowledge was kept from generation to generation for millennia and kings, princes, priests and magi obtained their power from them. Science itself owes much of its progress to sparkles coming from this knowledge, revealed here and there by some wise men, as it best befitted our purposes.
Look at Pythagoras: history says that his wisdom came from a secret society in Egypt.
-What you are telling me is characteristic of a megalomaniac mind- no conspiracy could have lasted that long!
-We can no longer understand each other, professor! It is enough to say that I am at the service of a great and millennial purpose. We, Sons of Set, heirs to the ancient mysteries and keepers of secret knowledge have been preparing ourselves since the beginning of time for the Great Revelation. But with sorrow in my heart I recognize the fact that notwithstanding our double efforts, the world is not yet ready for Absalom. It’s possible that the requisites will be met only in the next Century.
-Absalom, who is Absalom?
-We have had enough questioning now, professor – said the assistant, pointing the gun at the old man’s head – unfortunately I’ll have to kill you for you know too much about us. But lets look at it from a positive point of view: there is no better place for an Egyptlogist to die than inside a pharaoh’s tomb, is there?
-Max, don’t do that! You are an assassin!
-I am sorry, professor! I don’t like doing this. You do not deserve to die. Unfortunately though you know too much about us and I cannot take the chance!
-Let it be brief, then- he said closing his eyes, resigning to the cruel reality. My granddaughter, I’ll never get to know her!
The noise of a vase being broken caused the old man to open his eyes: Max Fuchon lay down stiff over what had been a most valuable vase belonging to the eighth dynasty. Next to him was Tarik, one of the expedition’s natives, brandishing a bloody golden object.
-I could not have let him kill you, professor, not after what you did for my son, taking him to London to be cured.
Tarik, I’ve never been so happy in my life at seeing an Egyptian object as I am now. Where did you find this spear?
The helper then showed him god Osiris’golden statue, completely dressed in armour except for a missing spear.
-Professor, what do you intend to do with the book now?
-Tarik, on account of the revelations we have had so far and because of what just happened here – the old man’s eyes rested on Max Fuchon’s lifeless body – this book proved to be too dangerous if it fell in the wrong hands. My mission is to make sure it will never be found.
The Pharaoh’s valuable treasure was sent to the Museum of Cairo. Its curator gave Dr Albert Raidech some pieces of little value in recognition for his findings. As to Max Funchon’s death, the Egyptian authorities were in debt to Tarik, for they found in the dead man’s pockets a number of precious jewelry.

 
continuation:

Chapter 1 – Rome, year 2007

Looking back once more, Jaina saw the men running after her. Her feet hurt in contact with the irregular pavement. She no longer cried for help, saving her breath for she knew she was running for her life.
People she ran into starred at her in amazement but their words sounded to her ears as strange as the inscriptions on the signs and posters around her.
"This is a nightmare" – she said to herself. But the hot running tears that contrasted with the cold wind hitting her face showed her that it was indeed pure reality. They were getting closer and closer to her, and she felt she could not continue running away.
The captivity had made her weak and the iron collar squeezed her neck, making breathing even more difficult. She then crossed the street all of a sudden, in a desperate move, paying no attention to the chaos she had caused. Cars pulled their breaks at once, stopping at millimeters from hitting her. There was a mixed noise of loud horns and swearing she did not understand, each attempting to prevail. Memories then came to her mind: the medal she won in an ice skating competition, as part of a celebration for the Russian Victory Day. Afterwards –her face contracted in despair – the cursed old truck and the man who pulled her inside muffling her breathing with a damp cloth. Then everything went dark. When she regained consciousness, she saw herself being carried by two men inside what appeared to be an immense church, diagonal in shape. Pretending to be still gone, she saw with the corner of her eyes dozens of torches illuminating the place, in a somber way. A gigantic statue of an angel holding a broken spear, on top of whom was an enormous dragon piercing his throat with its teeth, called her attention. That upset her; she shivered, revealing to her captors she was awaken. The captors’ eyes seemed cold and lacked compassion. Half awoken, Jaina avoided looking at them, fixing her eyes on the ceiling where a red geometric shape called her attention. She had seen it before somewhere. She recalled then a book that one of her classmates had shown her. The book was about a little orphan boy who, having been trained at a witchcraft school in London, becomes a powerful witch. The story had sold millions of copies all over the world, turning the author into a millionaire and leaving parents and teachers in all continents perplexed and in awe by seeing their children and students devouring hundreds of pages in a manner never seen before.
A policeman! – he muttered. Hope came back to her when she saw at less than a hundred meters away from her a man in uniform. It had to be a policeman –she thought – even thou his uniform were different from those used in Moscow.
Now, a wide avenue separated her from what would be her salvation. The traffic light was off. Jaina looked backwards once more. There was no more time. Taken then by a sudden courage, she ran zigzagging in the midst of a sea of vehicles speeding into all directions. Her pursuers stopped at the edge of the avenue. Just a little bit more –she thought. Then, suddenly she looked up, contemplating the colossus in front of her.
No! The utterance came out vibrant and sonorous from her mouth – the Coliseum! They brought me to Rome – now, she said it to herself, recognizing the city that until now she had only seen in geography books. Perplexity dissipated her attention for a momment, time enough for a high speeding Alpha Romeo to sweep her feet away from the pavement. The world, then, turned around in Jaina Kornikova’s head and the Coliseum right there so near, seemed to have made a complete flip in the air.
Paolo Ferri, the young Roman police lieutenant, who had witnessed the girl trying desperately to cross the avenue, ran to her direction and, raising his arms, stopped the traffic at once. Then, noticing that though she had fractured her legs, she was still alive, he took her into his arms.
Jaina did not feel her legs and everything was spinning. Sensing she was about to faint, she tried to warn her savior: Absalom…Absalom… The words came out weak and almost inaudible, then everything went dark.


Chapter 2 – Washington


The young men from Georgetown could not conceal a sort of enchantment that besought them at the sight of that blond, abundant curly haired girl walking along the halls of the university. Sunk in her thoughts, her itinerary was invariably the same: from the bus stop at the main entrance to the academic center and, from there, to the library. When one of them, taken by a sudden courage, approached her, he learned that she was a Theology major. Now, if he really had the structure to maintain a dialog, after being scrutinized by those blue eyes and condition to keep the trend of thought when she displayed that marvelous smile, he would right way relinquish and his spirit would feel completely desolate, at imaging himself in the heart of Central Africa teaching the Bible to crowds of undernourished natives.
Mellina Becker wanted to be a missionary.
The tall, gray haired professor stood in front of the class waiting for an answer: some pretended they were consulting books; others stared at the master in hope of a verdict.
-Well, teacher – started the petit blond – it seems to me that the recent event in the Spanish city of Jaen, at which Father Rodrigo Hidalgo, the parish priest, was sued because he refused to give communion to a leader of the gay movement, who had married another man, answers your question.
-What do you mean, Mellina, – asked the skinny guy wearing thick glasses, sitting in front of her? What relationship is there between a gay person’s impending marriage and a teacher’s question about the impact of the French Revolution on Christianism.
-Go on Mellina, said the teacher, – your thesis sounds interesting to me!
-As we all know, the French Revolution went beyond the explosion of "liberty, equality and fraternity." It was, in its utmost expression, the triumph of the Masons over Christianity. The majority of the people do not perceive it was the result of a hidden war between the Masons and the Vatican. The latter was slowly losing ground, enticing Pope Leon XIII to write the Humanus Genus Encyclical in which he attacked the Masons furiously.
-Where can I find this Encyclical –asked the student beside her?
-In the Vatican website, Pauline –answered the professor. Go on Mellina!
-Throughout the history of the Western world, what was the major conflict we have had?
-The Second World War! - answered the lad in thick glasses.
-The Hundred Years War? –ventured the girl in the first row?
-The major conflict in history was between faith and reason, or rather between faith and the circumstantial truths of scientific experimenting – an old war that targets the human spirit. The basis for the faith was and still is the unabated certainty in God and in the Sacred Scriptures. On the other hand, the strength of Science, which is at the same time its very weakness, relies in its mutability or in its capacity of altering itself in virtue of new aggregated knowledge. Faith is based on the conviction of a supreme truth, while Science has for its foundation the temporary truth of demonstration.
Well, what we see is that faith in God and in the Scriptures has diminished nowadays due to people’s fear of sounding ridiculous when they countercharge the transitory ‘scientific truth’ with argumentations regarding their faith. For us Christians the end of science points to the same direction already indicated by faith and, if it does so, it is by reason of being based on a temporary truth, that is to say, a non-truth, since it is subjected to change.
I do not follow you – argued a classmate!
-Lets connect the points then – continued Mellina – I have cited the war between the Masons and the Church and the mortal hatred between them. The Church held to the faith and dogmas and the Masons, what did they do? Surrounded themselves by men of good will, attracted businessmen, scientists and burgeons. They became strong by instigating those men to doubt the truths of the faith under the argument that they should subordinate it to the scientific truths, which, as we have seen, may lead to a terrible fallacy since they are based on transitory knowledge. Lets imagine, thus, that some of the members of the most exoteric circles within the Manson had the intention of destroying Christianity. I say exoteric circles because their Machiavellian plan, in order to work, would have to be known to only a few, concealing it even from the top masters. It is in this sense that the episode in Spain with Father Rodrigo Hidalgo inserts itself. Under the argument of modernity (architectural project eminently Masonic) the acceptance of hostile practices to the teachings of Christianity are being legitimated and even legalized, harming thus the millenary moral dogmas of the Church, that is, the Estate is being conducted in such a way as to enter in collision with the fundamental precepts of the Christian faith. Either, the Church renounces her fundamental dogmas and precepts or she will be persecuted in the future.
-It would be a bright plan, Mellina, observed the teacher! It would be easy to destroy the Church Herself by destroying her fundament. But, there would be a problem: people would not accept that pacifically.
 
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continuation:

Chapter 2 – Washington

The young men from Georgetown could not conceal a sort of enchantment that besought them at the sight of that blond, abundant curly haired girl walking along the halls of the university. Sunk in her thoughts, her itinerary was invariably the same: from the bus stop at the main entrance to the academic center and, from there, to the library. When one of them, taken by a sudden courage, approached her, he learned that she was a Theology major. Now, if he really had the structure to maintain a dialog, after being scrutinized by those blue eyes and condition to keep the trend of thought when she displayed that marvelous smile, he would right way relinquish and his spirit would feel completely desolate, at imaging himself in the heart of Central Africa teaching the Bible to crowds of undernourished natives.
Mellina Becker wanted to be a missionary.
The tall, gray haired professor stood in front of the class waiting for an answer: some pretended they were consulting books; others stared at the master in hope of a verdict.
-Well, teacher – started the petit blond – it seems to me that the recent event in the Spanish city of Jaen, at which Father Rodrigo Hidalgo, the parish priest, was sued because he refused to give communion to a leader of the gay movement, who had married another man, answers your question.
-What do you mean, Mellina, – asked the skinny guy wearing thick glasses, sitting in front of her? What relationship is there between a gay person’s impending marriage and a teacher’s question about the impact of the French Revolution on Christianism.
-Go on Mellina, said the teacher, – your thesis sounds interesting to me!
-As we all know, the French Revolution went beyond the explosion of "liberty, equality and fraternity." It was, in its utmost expression, the triumph of the Masons over Christianity. The majority of the people do not perceive it was the result of a hidden war between the Masons and the Vatican. The latter was slowly losing ground, enticing Pope Leon XIII to write the Humanus Genus Encyclical in which he attacked the Masons furiously.
-Where can I find this Encyclical –asked the student beside her?
-In the Vatican website, Pauline –answered the professor. Go on Mellina!
-Throughout the history of the Western world, what was the major conflict we have had?
-The Second World War! - answered the lad in thick glasses.
-The Hundred Years War? –ventured the girl in the first row?
-The major conflict in history was between faith and reason, or rather between faith and the circumstantial truths of scientific experimenting – an old war that targets the human spirit. The basis for the faith was and still is the unabated certainty in God and in the Sacred Scriptures. On the other hand, the strength of Science, which is at the same time its very weakness, relies in its mutability or in its capacity of altering itself in virtue of new aggregated knowledge. Faith is based on the conviction of a supreme truth, while Science has for its foundation the temporary truth of demonstration.
Well, what we see is that faith in God and in the Scriptures has diminished nowadays due to people’s fear of sounding ridiculous when they countercharge the transitory ‘scientific truth’ with argumentations regarding their faith. For us Christians the end of science points to the same direction already indicated by faith and, if it does so, it is by reason of being based on a temporary truth, that is to say, a non-truth, since it is subjected to change.
I do not follow you – argued a classmate!
-Lets connect the points then – continued Mellina – I have cited the war between the Masons and the Church and the mortal hatred between them. The Church held to the faith and dogmas and the Masons, what did they do? Surrounded themselves by men of good will, attracted businessmen, scientists and burgeons. They became strong by instigating those men to doubt the truths of the faith under the argument that they should subordinate it to the scientific truths, which, as we have seen, may lead to a terrible fallacy since they are based on transitory knowledge. Lets imagine, thus, that some of the members of the most exoteric circles within the Manson had the intention of destroying Christianity. I say exoteric circles because their Machiavellian plan, in order to work, would have to be known to only a few, concealing it even from the top masters. It is in this sense that the episode in Spain with Father Rodrigo Hidalgo inserts itself. Under the argument of modernity (architectural project eminently Masonic) the acceptance of hostile practices to the teachings of Christianity are being legitimated and even legalized, harming thus the millenary moral dogmas of the Church, that is, the Estate is being conducted in such a way as to enter in collision with the fundamental precepts of the Christian faith. Either, the Church renounces her fundamental dogmas and precepts or she will be persecuted in the future.
-It would be a bright plan, Mellina, observed the teacher! It would be easy to destroy the Church Herself by destroying her fundament. But, there would be a problem: people would not accept that pacifically.
 
continuation:

Chapter 3

-How is the girl doing, doctor? Asked Paolo Ferri.
Doctor Rafael Biaco, his brows knitted, denoted preoccupation:
-She is in a coma. Her organism is very weak. The next twenty-four hours will be crucial for her recovery.
Captain Lucas Scaliari looked once again at the photos released by Interpol; it was Jaina Kornikova herself, no doubt – an eleven-year old girl, kidnapped less than two weeks ago in the city of Moscow.
-What do you think of this –asked the young Lieutenant displaying the iron collar doctors had to saw to remove from the girl’s fragile neck?
The experienced officer then turned his look to the strange object:
Heavens! What is this? His soul was filled with anguish at the sight of that terrible darkened necklace:
-Who would have the courage to place this on a child? And these symbols and inscriptions, Paolo, what do they mean?
-The words are totally unknown but look at this tiny symbol here, is it not the symbol for peace? And what would the symbol for peace be doing in a collar of iron made to deter a child.
-I do not have an answer, Paolo, but yes, many questions. However, I do know someone who would be able to help, said Scaliari, at the same time turning hi eyes to the girl, surrounded by life support equipment and sunken in a sleep that could be eternal.
 
continuation:

Chapter 4

Sergeant Douglas Broun caressed softly his 45 Colt, for he felt secure with it. Since childhood he had been used to firearms, having bought his first automatic rifle at eighteen. Thanks to this familiarity and to a kin sense of foreseeing danger he had been awarded a medal for bravery. During the war in Iraq, his flank, then in charge of a young and inexperienced lieutenant, was dislocating Iraq forces entrenched at a central Baghdad building. Everyone’s attention was concentrated at the blasts coming from the building. Disobeying orders, Douglas Broun had positioned himself further in the back of some debris as to have a better view of the rear. Because of this, he could see, unlike the others, when a non-military vehicle, a Pajero, at high speed, entered the conflicting area, advancing from the rear. It stopped suddenly, some thirty meters away from the flank, fully concentrated at the fire blasts, coming from the building. A missile tube was projected from the vehicle’s open window. Douglas Broun did not think. He pointed his M-16 to the projectile about to be launched. The bullets soared in the air, in a sequence of gunfire burst, striking the other extremity. The explosion blasted the Pajero sending pieces into all directions, almost hitting the young lieutenant, who had turned at hearing the deafen noise.
Douglas Broun looked once again at the vehicle in front of him, probably an armored one, he thought. But, where were the bodyguards? The Cadillac parked close to the shopping entrance.
-Wait just one minute, Roger! I will be back right away, said the Senator to the driver.
The Sergeant parked a few meters behind, got off the car and removed his dark glasses for a moment, looking at all directions. Then he fixed his attention at the pant house of a building in front of him with a perfect view to the shopping entrance. This would make, he thought, a perfect site for an ambush. The man he was following, senator Antonin Hoppings, used to visit his daughter, who ran the shopping mall he owned, every Thursday. His ideas, at the Senate, were in conflict with many interests. It would even be hard to guess who would attempt to assassinate him. Knowing the senator’s habits, a CBS news crew was posted at the entrance when the Senator arrived.
-Senator Hoppings, please, the firearms control …
-Not now, not now! I need to see my daughter, said the energetic politician, crossing rapidly the marble and glass portico.
The sergeant in jeans and buffalo-leather jacket came right behind him, rubbed his hand over his face… very good, his beard had grown; much better this way. It made recognition more difficult. The senator took a private elevator. Douglas saw it stopped on third floor. He had to wait. There was nothing he could do. Any attempt of attack inside the building would be risky, he thought, shaking his shoulders. There was nothing he could really do. He then turned and walked toward the food court, keeping an eye on the elevator. He knew that that was the only way out. He asked for a coke, observing meanwhile, the tranquil costumers: a chubby faced, curly haired girl that played while her mother talked on a cell phone, laughing and gesticulating cheerfully.
The typical American: happy and unaware of the dangers that lay in wait. He got up and walked towards the child. The mother was still on the phone, her eyes now fixed on a store window, displaying extravagant clothing. The beautiful little blue eyes starred at him expressing curiosity. Anyone passing that way at that moment would see a young couple and their adorable daughter. He bent down and the attentive little eyes followed his movements. Thereafter, the little girl’s hands sprawled towards him and she smiled showing an incomplete set of teeth that made her smile even prettier. She then fetched the toy she had dropped. The elevator beeped. The sergeant turned his head and saw the senator walking towards the exit. He stood up. The fact that it took him only three moves to be two meters away from the senator, attested to his agility.
But the newsmen were there.
-Senator Hoppings, please, your stand on automatic firearms control!
-Sir, what about my stand on firearms control?
-It is contrary to the population’s interest!
-But, on which basis – he sounded annoyed – you allege that it is contrary to the population’s interest? Based on CBS’s?
The traffic flow was normal. A black Cadillac passing at very slow speed called the Sergeant’s attention …
-The population is against firearms, insisted the reporter.
-Look here!- it seemed as though Hoppings was about to jump the man- the Constitution…!
-Senator, get down, screamed Mr. Broun with his 45 Colt in hand, throwing himself on top of Hoppings, while the bullets came soaring from the Cadillac that immediately took off at high speed.
-You? - said the senator, trying to stand up and looking at the man who had saved his life, recognizing him now without his dark glasses, that lay broken on the ground.
-I caught it all! - exclaimed the cameraman to the reporter who had turned very pale.
-Are you hurt? - screamed the senator, upholding the sergeant, when he saw his bloody hands. Yes, he is hurt!
Douglas Broun looked once more at the curly haired girl who smiled at him while she was rapidly taken away in the lap of her frightened mother. After that, everything went black.
 
continuation:

Chapter 5 – UN- New York

The incomprehensible murmur of a true babel of languages and dialects caused the delegates, representing more than one hundred and twenty countries, to come to a halt when Cardinal Giuliano Colona moved from his place of honor towards the platform, greeting the Assembly:
-My brothers, I have a dream, said the Cardinal after silence was made and everyone’s attention converged on him: I dream that every man may encounter the road to fraternity and peace!
His enunciation was interrupted by the applauses resounding through the auditory.
-Peace, he continued, is not a dream of mine alone, neither is it only of you here today and who represent all the creeds on Earth. Peace, my brothers, is the desire of the human ace as a whole. And, it is in the name of peace that, I, elected First General Secretary to the Union of the United Religions, declare under the protection of Allah, Jehovah, Shiva or of any other entity that may be invoked as God, that we, here-after, will unite our efforts to create a world, without fear or war, where peace will prevail!
 
continuation:

Chapter 6 – London

Attention now! BBC’s news reporter is on the air – American senator Antonin Hoppings has just suffered an attempt on his life. Next, you will see images of the
unfortunate incident, recorded by a CBS cameraman. The senator was being interviewed when the shooting took place. Mr. Hoppings was not hurt but his bodyguard
was. The authorities do not have as yet any information about the criminals.
Senator Antonin Hoppings is well known for being a ferocious enemy of firearms control in the United States.
-More tea, Milayd?
-Just a minute, Jeffrey! Turn the TV volume louder, please!
The image then showed the senator getting irritated by the reporter’s question and soon after the bodyguard screaming and throwing himself on top of him. At the same time, firing of bullets was heard.
The aristocratic lady’s face expressed worries that afflicted her; old ghosts reborn in her mind.
-Milayd, what is worrying you? Asked the butler.
-Jeffrey, do you remember what I told you about the episode involving my grandfather?
The butler nodded his head.
-This attack –continued lady Milayd- it seems like the work of our old enemies.
-What are we going to do, Milayd?
-Get yourself ready, Jeffrey. We are going to America.
 
I think you might be in the wrong forum. Are you looking for a critique?

This is the workshop forum.
 
Yes, one criticizes which the correct forum?

The one that says Critiques, darling! No worries, I moved it for you.

Basically in Aspiring writers there is the workshop for working on things, the main aspiring writers for talking about things, and critiques for sharing things.

Also, just a bit of a tip, it takes a lot longer for someone to read if there are no paragraph breaks (actual 1 space breaks) and if it is all posted in one big jumble. Its best to start with one half of one chapter and go from there.

I moved this for you. :)

PS: I know what you are trying to do by not using "quotation" marks, but I would really recommend using them for web-based readability.
 
Hello, I am Brazilian writer , author of a romance of 356 pages in the style of The Da Vinci Code. I look an publishing company

Prolog

Egypt, August 1927
Dr Albert Raidech, trying to remove the sweat from his face with his hands, lifted his head up and focused his attention at
on
the sphinx – the stone colossus which, at
no "at"
three hundred meters away from where he was, contemplated him with the same enigmatic look that
had
for millenniums
millenia
bewildered those who stood before her.
-Here. I found it, screamed the expedition’s native guide. Dr Raidech ran towards the man who was gesticulating frenetically, pointing to what seemed to be a huge gravestone bearing some inscriptions worn off by time and which obstructed the entrance to an underground tomb.
far too simple. And at a mere 300 metres from the sphinx?Grave robbers and arciologists have left no stone unturned in the populous regions; And the original builders knew it was going to happen nd built decoys and booby traps…
The honorable British professor and Egyptologist cleaned the surface carefully. His face shone with joy as he contemplated the bicephalous eagle.
He had at last discovered pharaoh Amenofis IV’s lost tomb – the priest pharaoh, the great Egyptian king who had terrified the ancient world. The gravestone was removed, and Dr Raidech holding a torch, followed by his assistant Max Fuchon and by the natives, descended the steps of a place that had not been accessed for millenniums.
millenia
The mortuary chamber was an immense rectangle. The walls had works in high relief, representing ancient forgotten wars. But, those faded in importance if compared to the dozens of statues in natural
Lifesized? (though what that is for gods I'll admit I don't know)
size of humans and gods from ancient Egypt.
-Professor, this is gold! – said Max Fuchon, as he removed the layer of dust that covered god Horus’ eloquent face – a man whose head was that of a falcon. Extraordinary splendor – treasures piled up wherever the eyes could reach.
-Where is the sarcophagus? – asked the Egyptologist
comma
coming back to reality. They looked at each other –sarcophagus? They had discovered a pharaonic treasure why then was he concerned with a sarcophagus?
-Professor Albert – said the assistant – there might not be a sarcophagus.
-That doesn’t make any sense, Max! If this is a tomb, there ought to be a sarcophagus- he said as he walked towards the bottom of the tomb, indifferent to the dozens of chests filled with gold and jewelry to the point that some lay on the ground, causing the professor to trip over them.
-My God, look at these inscriptions, Max!
The young assistant was reluctant in
to deviate; though "to tear his eyes away from" might sound more natural deviating his eyes from the enormous alabaster vases, decorated at the upper part with diamond-encrusted jewels.
how can you diamond encrust a jewel?
-Max, look at this – continued the professor. The assistant turned his eyes to the walls pointed
"indicated" (or possibly "pointed out"
by the professor.
-What do those drawings have in
that's so special
special, professor? – he asked, his mind still on the alabaster vases.
-The Egyptian plagues…-continued the old man staring at the drawings.
-But, whoever produces them uses the same attire as the pharaohs! Max, this is amazing!
The assistant’s attention turned to the Egyptologist.
-What do you mean, professor? Were not the Egyptian plagues, according to the Bible, sent by Moses?
-Yes, they were, but the inscriptions here show a pharaoh sending the same plagues. This proves that...
-Professor look here, this is a lever!
Over time corrosion had caused part of the inscription on the wall to collapse, uncovering a lever that otherwise had been hidden.
-The sarcophagus has to be here somewhere behind these inscriptions – help me with the lever, Max!
-It is stuck, professor!
Part of the wall had moved a couple of centimeters.
-Look, the wall has moved!
Forcing the wall with their shoulders, Max and the natives caused it to move slowly, disclosing a secret chamber.
-Heavens! Amenofis IV’s tomb – exclaimed the old man in awe.
-In pure solid gold, professor!
Shaped as a semicircle, its walls had inscriptions they could not understand. A golden sarcophagus with a bicephalous eagle in lapis lazuli at
on?
its upper portion lay in the center.
-Look at this, Max –said the professor, pointing to the drawing in high relief.
-It is odd, professor, I have never seen an Egyptian representation of a falcon with two heads!
-No, Max … - the professor was visibly moved- it is not a falcon…
***
-What are you trying to say? –asked the assistant rather surprised.
-This is not a falcon but a bicephalous eagle or rather it is a phoenix, a very special type of eagle, according to mythology…
-The one reborn from aches?
ashes; unless you're deliberately making a joke
-You guessed
not realy "guessed"
right, Max, now… it is not an Egyptian symbol but a Sumerian one.
-Sumerian? … But, what would a Sumerian symbol be doing on an Egyptian sarcophagus?
-Max – the old man went on, overtaken with emotion: we may, by opening this sarcophagus, be facing one of the most terrible secrets ever revealed to man; one that we believed to be
no need for the "to be"
lost in the night of times
time
. I fear, Max, that mankind is not prepared to unfold!
-Professor –the young man’s eyes brightened – I am more curious than afraid. What could there be inside a sarcophagus over four thousand years old to make one scared?
-My friend- said the old man- you must have heard about the criminal fire that destroyed the famous library at Alexandria, did you not?
-Yes, it was the act of an irrational Arabian caliph who believed that he was saving the world from evil by destroying all the knowledge kept there since ancient times.
-Not everything was destroyed, young man, not everything. The famous library was set on fire in 646 of our era. Julius Cesar, seduced by Cleopatra, went to Egypt in 48 B.C. Upon his return, he took some books with him from that library. Most of them are kept today at the library in the Vatican, natural heir to the Roman Empire. But, when German troops invaded Rome, in 1527, under the command of Carlos V, some of these books were sold to Venetian tradesmen, and from there they ended up at the Museum of London -– books of disturbing contents, accessed only by a small group of researchers connected to the British crown.
-Are you one of them? – asked the young man
comma
somehow fascinated.
-Yes, Max, I am one of them.
-But, what do they say, professor? The assistant could not control himself.
-There is a very old papyrus among them that was taken to Alexandria by Alexander the Great, hence
did Alexander ever see Alexandria complete?
the conquering of Judea, probably subtracted from old secret Judaic sects. Well – this papyrus reveal
revealed
to us the existence of a very ancient city.
-From the beginning of civilization?
Yes, but not one of those we know originating from the fertile crescendo
crescent; and "or" rather than "and"
and the delta of the Nile. More ancient than that, perhaps even pre-diluvium:
ante-diluvian
the city of Lagahs - according to the document – the city of sin.
-City of sin? I do not get it professor!
-According to the papyrus, this city was the very cause of the diluvium.
flood
You probably will not find anything about this in the Encyclopedia Britannica, since there are no more than ten people in the world who know anything about this city, but let me proceed: -according to the papyrus, and here we will find some facts that go hand- in - hand with the Bible and which are: the children of God (angels) were seduced by the daughters of men (women). Men extremely powerful, who oppressed and enslaved other people, were born from such unions. Their power did not come from their physical strength, but from the secret knowledge revealed to them by their exquisite parents. Those men were so depraved that they founded the city of Lagahs and from there they subdued the whole ancient world. Because of this, God punished them with the diluvium to put an end to evil on Earth. Only Noah and his family were saved to populate it again. The papyrus tell us that Ninrode, grandchild to Cao, one of Noah’s sons, while digging the earth to start another city, between the Tigers
Tigris
and the Euphrates rivers, found a book – not
not just any?
any book, but one forged in gold - the Lagahs’ Golden Book, as it came to be known. In the possession of this book, his mind had access to the hidden mysteries of magic. Because of the evil he incorporated, Ninrode ended up expelled from the city he had founded, taking refuge in Egypt. Under the pharaoh’s protection, he initiated a dynasty of magicians whose power spread fear everywhere.
-Janes and Jambres, the magicians from Egypt who, under the order of the pharaoh, resisted Moses?
-Yes, Max. These magicians descended from them. They however accumulated so much mystic power and had formed such a stronghold that they ended up dethroning and killing the pharaoh himself. They became Egypt’s rulers until one of the most notorious magicians from the Ninrode’s dynasty took the power.
-Amenofis IV? – the young man was in ecstasy.
-That is it, Max –smiled the professor.
-And the book? – Both of them rested their eyes on the sarcophagus.
***
-Do you understand it now, Max, my fear in opening this sarcophagus?
Would men be prepared to face the terrible mysteries this book contains? There is more. I have not told you everything… Amenofis IV had accumulated power and magical knowledge to such an extent that his mind
had become
became perverted to extreme. He would loot the people he conquered inflicting in
on
them atrocious punishment. He did not even spare the children, using them in his magic rites. According to the book, the sacrifice of virgin girls gave him even greater magical power beyond human comprehension. It was this pharaoh who, through magic, bewitched and destroyed the wisest man in the world – King Salmon.
Solomon
Under the spell of sexual magic, the old Israeli king was seduced by the beauty of the pharaoh’s daughter, Aksulamim, an Egyptian princess who
comma
being an average looking girl became, by the magical power of her father, the most beautiful woman on Earth at that time. Salmon surrendered to such a beautiful sight. The fact that Aksulamim, like her father, could resort to magic, provoked God’s ire towards Salmon and the subsequent division of the Israeli kingdom.
-Professor, before you answer any other question, we must make sure that the book is in there! All this could be just a tale, don’t you think? Let’s open the sarcophagus.
Max, you are right –there’s no reason for us to keep inflicting pain on ourselves. Help me open it.
The use of a tool as a lever, at the inferior opening of the sarcophagus, caused it to give in slowly, opening itself in two parts.
-By Allah! Look, Max, the Lagahs’Golden Book.
The old man had to grab the sarcophagus’ boarding
what were theyboarding?
sides- his legs seemed to fail him. The assistant could not believe his eyes- there it was – the handsome golden volume, in high- relief details: a bicephalus eagle in the center of a pyramid. His hand reached his pocket in search of something.
-Professor, pass me the book…
The old man did not take heed – he was fixed on his thoughts till he made a decision:
-We are going to take it to the British Museum, Max…
-Professor … I asked you to hand me the book!
The Egyptologist turned to the assistant, his smile ceasing at the moment he saw a gun pointing at him.
-Max, what does this mean? He asked, perplexed.
-I am sorry, professor, but there are some things that you would not understand. Have you ever noticed my family’s code of arms?
-What has your family to do with this finding?
-It is this! The young man held the gun in his left had, showing in his annular finger a seal with the design of an eagle similar to the one at the sarcophagus. Perhaps you still do not understand but I am going to explain: do you remember you told me just a while ago that these manuscripts dealt with an ancient secret society? Well I am a member of this secret society.
-Stop playing, Max. You are not even Jewish! – the old man said, visibly annoyed.
-You are right. I am not a Jew! – I am an Englishman and I come from an ancient lineage. But, it is hard for me to understand how you failed to grasp the dynamics of life, being the scholar that you are. You thought that the mysteries of Lagahs had been kept locked in this book throughout the ages, did you not, professor? You were utterly wrong!
It is true that terrible mysteries given
up
for lost will now be revealed, but it is also true that other magicians existed (some still exist today) who, like Amenofis IV, dedicated themselves to improving their magical knowledge passed on to them from generation to generation from the illuminated.
-What is the purpose? Why so much secret? Perplexity had given away to doubt.
-What is the purpose? Go on professor, don’t be so naÔve! Knowledge is power and the more exclusive it is the more vigor and force will be bestowed upon the person holding it. Just consider the bicephalus phoenix’s emblem at Alexander the Great, Charles V and Napoleon …Where do you think that the power they gained came from?
the Haapsburgs?
-My God! - the old man exclaimed- this is insane!
No, professor, there is no space for insanity. Secret knowledge was kept from generation to generation for millennia and kings, princes, priests and magi obtained their power from them. Science itself owes much of its progress to sparkles coming from this knowledge, revealed here and there by some wise men, as it best befitted our purposes.
Look at Pythagoras: history says that his wisdom came from a secret society in Egypt.
-What you are telling me is characteristic of a megalomaniac mind- no conspiracy could have lasted that long!
-We can no longer understand each other, professor! It is enough to say that I am at the service of a great and millennial purpose. We, Sons of Set, heirs to the ancient mysteries and keepers of secret knowledge have been preparing ourselves since the beginning of time for the Great Revelation. But with sorrow in my heart I recognize the fact that notwithstanding our double efforts, the world is not yet ready for Absalom. It’s possible that the requisites will be met only in the next Century.
-Absalom, who is Absalom?
-We have had enough questioning now, professor – said the assistant, pointing the gun at the old man’s head – unfortunately I’ll have to kill you for you know too much about us. But lets look at it from a positive point of view: there is no better place for an Egyptlogist to die than inside a pharaoh’s tomb, is there?
-Max, don’t do that! You are an assassin!
-I am sorry, professor! I don’t like doing this. You do not deserve to die. Unfortunately though you know too much about us and I cannot take the chance!
-Let it be brief, then- he said closing his eyes, resigning to the cruel reality. My granddaughter, I’ll never get to know her!
The noise of a vase being broken caused the old man to open his eyes: Max Fuchon lay down stiff over what had been a most valuable vase belonging to the eighth dynasty. Next to him was Tarik, one of the expedition’s natives, brandishing a bloody golden object.
-I could not have let him kill you, professor, not after what you did for my son, taking him to London to be cured.
Tarik, I’ve never been so happy in my life at seeing an Egyptian object as I am now. Where did you find this spear?
The helper then showed him god Osiris’golden statue, completely dressed in armour except for a missing spear.
-Professor, what do you intend to do with the book now?
-Tarik, on account of the revelations we have had so far and because of what just happened here – the old man’s eyes rested on Max Fuchon’s lifeless body – this book proved
it hasn't yet been "proved" anything
to be too dangerous if it fell in the wrong hands. My mission is to make sure it will never be found.
The Pharaoh’s valuable treasure was sent to the Museum of Cairo. Its curator gave Dr Albert Raidech some pieces of little value in recognition for his findings. As to Max Funchon’s death, the Egyptian authorities were in debt to Tarik, for they found in the dead man’s pockets a number of precious jewelry.
either a quantity of jewelery, or a number of jewls
Needssome work
 
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