Hi guys! A few months ago, I posted some excerpts of my book When Regnants Dance here, and got some insightful suggestions. After a tedious Spring, I now have some time on my hands to participate in the forum. Here is an alernative Prologue that I just wrote today. Suggestions in all areas are wellcome!
Prologue
Nine years before Daristoth’s Ascension (DA), 309 years afters the fall of the Tyranny.
In a realm far from the normal world of mortals, the invader strode with purpose,his tall form casting no shadow, his full hair beginning to recede on his scalp, his eyebrows one long determined frown. His sword, hands and arms dripped with the gore of the slaughtered.
He was in a lightless and windless realm of total, eerie darkness; a land, sunless, desolate, and barren. With his normal sight impaired, he had cast a group of spells whose hex made him ‘see’ by sound like a bush-prowler. With a perpetual chirping spell, he had quickly built up a picture of his surroundings.
Thus, he could see yet there was no light, but the sound illumination built up in his mind’s eye, allowing him to see in a strange penumbral way. The denser an object the clearer it seemed.Awful odours permeated his sense of smell, the smells of rotting and mummified bodies, pestilence, death, and destruction.
He crested a hill, and paused on an unfolding plateau, whichseemed dead and lifeless. Yet pockets of life surfaced. For dominating the horizon-less sky and less than two hundred paces away, a rock-like edifice rose out of the ground and beckoned. The tower, which ascended as if aloof from the vistas of this realm, was the first built structure in this world of swirling shadows and fogs he had encountered. A fence appeared, made with different sorts of bones, with assorted skulls adorning the top. The gate followed a queer montage of large bones.
Suddenly little cones of activity sprung up in the field before him. First a few twists, then hundreds, finally a multitude. As the throng grew, the tower receded as if thrown a far distance.
Strange beings, opaque and vague constructs of shadows and shades arose. The invader paused: another group offered for slaughter, well he would oblige them.
Each whirlwind of activity sheered into a solid being; each was unique, each a monstrosity. The field of assembled demons hissed, as the tower disappeared from his view.
The intruder gripped his sword and made to advance when a commotion appeared among the assembled.
A meteor fell from the sky. The ground trembled with the impact, yet there was no dust cloud. The ranks parted and the new arrival, much bigger than the rest, its vortex rising to the sky, appeared.
"Enforcer," the Archdemon said as it approached, "why throw away your life?"
"You will not stop me," the Enforcer replied, but he trembled.
"Perhaps, but that is not why we are here." The Archdemon stopped several paces away, yet its presence dominated proceedings; immense, vibrating with primordial power.
"What then?"
"Your quest for vengeance has made you unmindful. A ruler is impregnable in his own realm."
"Not true."
"Perhaps but we are here, to make it true. Like those before, to slow you down and weaken you."
"Then why are you here as the others did not have an Archdemon?"
"I am here to repay an old debt. I was old when your ancestors first espied this planet. Let us talk."
"I am not here for that."
"Fight here and your destruction is ordained."
"Then why parley?"
"There are always reasons for that."
"I can beat you!"
"Your thirst for vengeance, your will, your power; all these make you strong and yet strength and emotion can only go so far. You will lose, but even if you prevail, these hordes are here to pick off the weak and injured. Behind them, stands the Ruler's beasts, six of them and behind those, the Dark Lord himself. For each you will need to be at your peak. A contest between us will preclude that if your earlier exertions have not already."
"Why tell me all this?"
"I hate futility. If I beat you, you will have failed, but more importantly, I will be weak and devoured by this pack. If you beat me, the obstacles in your path already mentioned will guarantee your failure. I hate going for nothing."
"I want my vengeance."
"That you might have, but not in this realm, not today."
"You talk in riddles."
"The primary tool the old use to befuddle the young."
"It will not suffice."
"Look into my eyes and see what might."
"To look into the eyes of a demon is to lose…"
"Surely not to one as talented and as strong-willed as yourself, Enforcer?"
The Enforcer steeled himself, rhythmically gripping his enchanted sword that served as his anchor, and looked into the well pools that were the demon's eyes. Time seemed to jump in all directions as he felt swallowed. Enmeshed in different threads of the future, he soon concentrated on a few, then one. Buffeting like ship, he began to lose his bearing. He swung his sword; he ejected himself from the demon's eyes.
The closing horde fell back in alarm, but the Archdemon had not moved.
"An interesting spectacle you have shown me."
"The threads of the future are always interesting."
"Will it come to pass?" The Enforcer asked.
"Who knows the future is a…"
"Can he also see this?"
"Of course. The Dark Lord shall battle against those threads that are unfavourable as will you. It was ever thus."
"Then why show me?"
"The future is not set, so anything can happen, but today death in futility is the only certainty."
The Enforcer wiped his sword and eased his stance. "Another day, another time. What is your name?"
"What is your weapon's name?"
"Why do you ask?"
"A name for a name, Cromenursus."
"But you are not aligned to…"
"Alas, an old debt had to be paid. With great age comes debts and favours. Live a few of your millennia and you will see. When you get to my age, debts and favours blossom like anthills in a field."
"But what will your Possessor say?"
"This debt predates his, and this has been fulfilled in peace."
"What was your task?" A shadow of a smile crept around the corners of his lips as the Enforcer started thought-casting. Each spell in the hex was a like a seed in a fruit, and the desired action would only occur at the conclusion of the hex. As he recited each spell, he had enough capacity to reflect on the ongoing converse.
"Bar your way." The behemoth shrugged. "Thank you."
"No, thank you."
"For what?" The Archdemon seemed to be smiling.
"Showing me another way. Doom's bane."
"I thought so. It was familiar. How did you…"
"A long story which I am not inclined to repeat."
"Then I am thankful."
"Why?" The Enforcer asked.The last spell of the hex flashed through his mind and a beacon, slight tug arose on his back.
"For I wield its sibling, and the time of doom is at hand and…" Cromenursus's voice disappeared as the Enforcer felt a strong lurch, and a mighty vortex of energy burst out from above engulfing him. Snatched with an imploding pitch, he soared to a great height into a portal of yellow swirling smoke, pulling, and drawing him up into its comforting embrace...
Prologue
Nine years before Daristoth’s Ascension (DA), 309 years afters the fall of the Tyranny.
In a realm far from the normal world of mortals, the invader strode with purpose,his tall form casting no shadow, his full hair beginning to recede on his scalp, his eyebrows one long determined frown. His sword, hands and arms dripped with the gore of the slaughtered.
He was in a lightless and windless realm of total, eerie darkness; a land, sunless, desolate, and barren. With his normal sight impaired, he had cast a group of spells whose hex made him ‘see’ by sound like a bush-prowler. With a perpetual chirping spell, he had quickly built up a picture of his surroundings.
Thus, he could see yet there was no light, but the sound illumination built up in his mind’s eye, allowing him to see in a strange penumbral way. The denser an object the clearer it seemed.Awful odours permeated his sense of smell, the smells of rotting and mummified bodies, pestilence, death, and destruction.
He crested a hill, and paused on an unfolding plateau, whichseemed dead and lifeless. Yet pockets of life surfaced. For dominating the horizon-less sky and less than two hundred paces away, a rock-like edifice rose out of the ground and beckoned. The tower, which ascended as if aloof from the vistas of this realm, was the first built structure in this world of swirling shadows and fogs he had encountered. A fence appeared, made with different sorts of bones, with assorted skulls adorning the top. The gate followed a queer montage of large bones.
Suddenly little cones of activity sprung up in the field before him. First a few twists, then hundreds, finally a multitude. As the throng grew, the tower receded as if thrown a far distance.
Strange beings, opaque and vague constructs of shadows and shades arose. The invader paused: another group offered for slaughter, well he would oblige them.
Each whirlwind of activity sheered into a solid being; each was unique, each a monstrosity. The field of assembled demons hissed, as the tower disappeared from his view.
The intruder gripped his sword and made to advance when a commotion appeared among the assembled.
A meteor fell from the sky. The ground trembled with the impact, yet there was no dust cloud. The ranks parted and the new arrival, much bigger than the rest, its vortex rising to the sky, appeared.
"Enforcer," the Archdemon said as it approached, "why throw away your life?"
"You will not stop me," the Enforcer replied, but he trembled.
"Perhaps, but that is not why we are here." The Archdemon stopped several paces away, yet its presence dominated proceedings; immense, vibrating with primordial power.
"What then?"
"Your quest for vengeance has made you unmindful. A ruler is impregnable in his own realm."
"Not true."
"Perhaps but we are here, to make it true. Like those before, to slow you down and weaken you."
"Then why are you here as the others did not have an Archdemon?"
"I am here to repay an old debt. I was old when your ancestors first espied this planet. Let us talk."
"I am not here for that."
"Fight here and your destruction is ordained."
"Then why parley?"
"There are always reasons for that."
"I can beat you!"
"Your thirst for vengeance, your will, your power; all these make you strong and yet strength and emotion can only go so far. You will lose, but even if you prevail, these hordes are here to pick off the weak and injured. Behind them, stands the Ruler's beasts, six of them and behind those, the Dark Lord himself. For each you will need to be at your peak. A contest between us will preclude that if your earlier exertions have not already."
"Why tell me all this?"
"I hate futility. If I beat you, you will have failed, but more importantly, I will be weak and devoured by this pack. If you beat me, the obstacles in your path already mentioned will guarantee your failure. I hate going for nothing."
"I want my vengeance."
"That you might have, but not in this realm, not today."
"You talk in riddles."
"The primary tool the old use to befuddle the young."
"It will not suffice."
"Look into my eyes and see what might."
"To look into the eyes of a demon is to lose…"
"Surely not to one as talented and as strong-willed as yourself, Enforcer?"
The Enforcer steeled himself, rhythmically gripping his enchanted sword that served as his anchor, and looked into the well pools that were the demon's eyes. Time seemed to jump in all directions as he felt swallowed. Enmeshed in different threads of the future, he soon concentrated on a few, then one. Buffeting like ship, he began to lose his bearing. He swung his sword; he ejected himself from the demon's eyes.
The closing horde fell back in alarm, but the Archdemon had not moved.
"An interesting spectacle you have shown me."
"The threads of the future are always interesting."
"Will it come to pass?" The Enforcer asked.
"Who knows the future is a…"
"Can he also see this?"
"Of course. The Dark Lord shall battle against those threads that are unfavourable as will you. It was ever thus."
"Then why show me?"
"The future is not set, so anything can happen, but today death in futility is the only certainty."
The Enforcer wiped his sword and eased his stance. "Another day, another time. What is your name?"
"What is your weapon's name?"
"Why do you ask?"
"A name for a name, Cromenursus."
"But you are not aligned to…"
"Alas, an old debt had to be paid. With great age comes debts and favours. Live a few of your millennia and you will see. When you get to my age, debts and favours blossom like anthills in a field."
"But what will your Possessor say?"
"This debt predates his, and this has been fulfilled in peace."
"What was your task?" A shadow of a smile crept around the corners of his lips as the Enforcer started thought-casting. Each spell in the hex was a like a seed in a fruit, and the desired action would only occur at the conclusion of the hex. As he recited each spell, he had enough capacity to reflect on the ongoing converse.
"Bar your way." The behemoth shrugged. "Thank you."
"No, thank you."
"For what?" The Archdemon seemed to be smiling.
"Showing me another way. Doom's bane."
"I thought so. It was familiar. How did you…"
"A long story which I am not inclined to repeat."
"Then I am thankful."
"Why?" The Enforcer asked.The last spell of the hex flashed through his mind and a beacon, slight tug arose on his back.
"For I wield its sibling, and the time of doom is at hand and…" Cromenursus's voice disappeared as the Enforcer felt a strong lurch, and a mighty vortex of energy burst out from above engulfing him. Snatched with an imploding pitch, he soared to a great height into a portal of yellow swirling smoke, pulling, and drawing him up into its comforting embrace...
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