Here is an excerpt for my sci-fi novel (space opera?) “Lessons Learned”. Any feedback would be greatly appreciated. B.Martin
As we walked further, the tunnel seemed to be narrowing a bit from eight feet across and ten feet high to five by eight then finally four feet wide by six feet in height. This made it necessary for me to crouch down a little bit. At first, it wasn’t a bother. However, after several hundred feet it became a bit annoying. After another fifty feet, the ceiling seemed to lower another few inches. It was begin to really becoming a pain.
“How much further is it?” I asked as I cocked my head in various positions trying to find some relief.
“Not much further.” Alleon replied. She then looked up at my predicament and began to giggle. “I’m sorry…are you all right?” she asked as the giggling continued.
“Just great..….” I replied sarcastically. “I can’t remember the last time I had so much fun.”
Alleon put her hand over her mouth as if she was trying to hold back a full-blown laugh. All I could do is shake my head in disgust, which resulted in me bumping my head. “Damn it.”
After another 100 feet or so, the light from the lanterns did not seem to be penetrating into the darkness as they had earlier. As I refocused, I saw why. About ten feet in front of us, a narrow set of stone stairs ascended before us.
When we reached the base of the stairway, Torst stepped onto the first step and shined the light upward. I stood directly behind him and craned my neck to see what was up ahead. The light did not reach the end.
Torst said something to the others and we began to climb. Torst took the lead followed by Jorna, Alleon and then me. Although the stairway was only about three feet across, mercifully, the ceiling was well over six feet, as I did not have to crouch over. This seemed to lighten my mood considerably.
The first twenty steps weren’t a problem. When we reached fifty or so, my breath became labored. After 100 steps, I must admit, I was getting pretty gassed and started to break into a heavy sweat. I was just about to say, “Hey, can we stop so the big guy can take a rest?”, when Torst said something.
“We are here” Alleon whispered as they all stopped in front of me. Torst and Jorna turned off their lights and we stood in pitch-blackness again. Then, I heard the sound of an old mechanism working with a few audible clicks, followed by a low creak. Dim daylight began to enter the stairway around a small door that Torst was pushing open above us.
As the door swung open further, I could feel fresh air hit my face and entered my lungs making it much easier to breath. Off in the distance, I could hear what sounded like muffled explosions; the battle still raging at the other end of the complex. The wider the door opened, the louder the battle became.
As Torst knelt down and crawled out of the doorway, I looked up and saw the dim daylight of dust. The sky had turned a deep red purple, with stars just starting to become visible as the sun began to set in the west.
We knelt at the door for several minutes as Torst was carefully looking around. When he was satisfied that everything looked good, he motioned us forward as he himself crept out the door. Jorna and Alleon followed him out as I reached the doorway and I took a look around as well.
The door had opened onto a large flat area that was at least 50 yard by 50 yards in size. The ground was covered with a thick coating of a greenish moss-like growth. However, it was still apparent that the surface was smooth and level. Also, by eye, it appeared to be perfectly square. It did not appear to be a natural formation.
I turned around and swung the door shut; it creaking closed from the apparent lack of use. As I knelt just outside the door, I dug my fingertips into the moss and pulled up a large chunk of the moss. Two inched below the surface; I found a reddish brown solid rock base exactly as most all the stone structures I had seen. Unlike the others though, it was nearly smooth, not quite like a polished granite or marble counter top. This was build for some purpose. Perhaps a landing pad of some sort.
I continued to examine the stone sub-surface when I heard Alleon whisper something to me from off to my right. When I looked up, I saw that the three of them were crawling along the wall formed by the very large hill intersecting the “landing pad” about twenty yards away from the doorway. Alleon motioned that I should follow them. From the highly animated gestures she made, I would guess that she wanted me to hurry.
I quickly crawled along the wall as well and soon caught up with the other. When I reached them, Alleon whispered something about needing to be very vigilant as there would certainly be hoppers combing the area.
As we walked further, the tunnel seemed to be narrowing a bit from eight feet across and ten feet high to five by eight then finally four feet wide by six feet in height. This made it necessary for me to crouch down a little bit. At first, it wasn’t a bother. However, after several hundred feet it became a bit annoying. After another fifty feet, the ceiling seemed to lower another few inches. It was begin to really becoming a pain.
“How much further is it?” I asked as I cocked my head in various positions trying to find some relief.
“Not much further.” Alleon replied. She then looked up at my predicament and began to giggle. “I’m sorry…are you all right?” she asked as the giggling continued.
“Just great..….” I replied sarcastically. “I can’t remember the last time I had so much fun.”
Alleon put her hand over her mouth as if she was trying to hold back a full-blown laugh. All I could do is shake my head in disgust, which resulted in me bumping my head. “Damn it.”
After another 100 feet or so, the light from the lanterns did not seem to be penetrating into the darkness as they had earlier. As I refocused, I saw why. About ten feet in front of us, a narrow set of stone stairs ascended before us.
When we reached the base of the stairway, Torst stepped onto the first step and shined the light upward. I stood directly behind him and craned my neck to see what was up ahead. The light did not reach the end.
Torst said something to the others and we began to climb. Torst took the lead followed by Jorna, Alleon and then me. Although the stairway was only about three feet across, mercifully, the ceiling was well over six feet, as I did not have to crouch over. This seemed to lighten my mood considerably.
The first twenty steps weren’t a problem. When we reached fifty or so, my breath became labored. After 100 steps, I must admit, I was getting pretty gassed and started to break into a heavy sweat. I was just about to say, “Hey, can we stop so the big guy can take a rest?”, when Torst said something.
“We are here” Alleon whispered as they all stopped in front of me. Torst and Jorna turned off their lights and we stood in pitch-blackness again. Then, I heard the sound of an old mechanism working with a few audible clicks, followed by a low creak. Dim daylight began to enter the stairway around a small door that Torst was pushing open above us.
As the door swung open further, I could feel fresh air hit my face and entered my lungs making it much easier to breath. Off in the distance, I could hear what sounded like muffled explosions; the battle still raging at the other end of the complex. The wider the door opened, the louder the battle became.
As Torst knelt down and crawled out of the doorway, I looked up and saw the dim daylight of dust. The sky had turned a deep red purple, with stars just starting to become visible as the sun began to set in the west.
We knelt at the door for several minutes as Torst was carefully looking around. When he was satisfied that everything looked good, he motioned us forward as he himself crept out the door. Jorna and Alleon followed him out as I reached the doorway and I took a look around as well.
The door had opened onto a large flat area that was at least 50 yard by 50 yards in size. The ground was covered with a thick coating of a greenish moss-like growth. However, it was still apparent that the surface was smooth and level. Also, by eye, it appeared to be perfectly square. It did not appear to be a natural formation.
I turned around and swung the door shut; it creaking closed from the apparent lack of use. As I knelt just outside the door, I dug my fingertips into the moss and pulled up a large chunk of the moss. Two inched below the surface; I found a reddish brown solid rock base exactly as most all the stone structures I had seen. Unlike the others though, it was nearly smooth, not quite like a polished granite or marble counter top. This was build for some purpose. Perhaps a landing pad of some sort.
I continued to examine the stone sub-surface when I heard Alleon whisper something to me from off to my right. When I looked up, I saw that the three of them were crawling along the wall formed by the very large hill intersecting the “landing pad” about twenty yards away from the doorway. Alleon motioned that I should follow them. From the highly animated gestures she made, I would guess that she wanted me to hurry.
I quickly crawled along the wall as well and soon caught up with the other. When I reached them, Alleon whispered something about needing to be very vigilant as there would certainly be hoppers combing the area.
. You have a style of your own and with some developement I'm sure you will be able to write some great novels.
