The Megalith - synopsis, would this make an interesting motion picture

[ix_silver]

[FONT=&quot]What do you think? I have a screenplay but book still needs a writer.
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[FONT=&quot]“THE MEGALITH”[/FONT][FONT=&quot] - “The Gate of Aasa, Quenby, and The Journey of The Prince The Slayer of Dragons”[/FONT]

by Jaanus Silla, Estonia


[FONT=&quot]Paragraph:[/FONT][FONT=&quot] Quenby finds and saves Prince Mac Cuillaume, her true love. Cuillaume assisted by dwarves, the wind, and the birds saves her from the enchanted forest, the underworld, and from the fiery dragon of chaos in fierce battles, and can with her open a new dimension of eternal youth at the gate of Aasa, the henge of the ancient temple.[/FONT]

 

[ix_silver]

[FONT=&quot]Continued:
He can still not believe, that it is Quenby. Gwendamort is impatient in the morning, as he calls the couple to enter his room. [/FONT][FONT=&quot]His temper rises when he observes that their beds are not slept in. Lily’s Chest is locked up so he can not open it, try as he might, and the braided ring is taken. In anger he unlocks the doors of the third stable and sends the spirits flying to catch the runaways. The sunstone in Lily’s hand is stirring. Lily: „Listen, listen, magic ball! Change me into a river small; Make my friend a silvery fish!”
[/FONT]

 

[Nik]

Pretty Please...

Paragraphing ??

Sorry, I got a dozen lines in, then glazed over.

FWIW, this may be an artifact of your favourite editor. Was Word(TM) style-formatting stripped out by posting the text ?

Same can happen when text is dropped into a web-field. One of my stories was horribly run-together by CTT...

Notepad 'no-wrap' and copy/paste should give you 'forum wysiwyg'.

 

[dustinzgirl]

IX, there are a few concerns of mine.....I can not read this because the font is too small, and there are no paragraph breaks. While it would be fine on paper, please remember that most of us sit a few feet back from our screen and this makes it harder to read. I can make the font better, but I can do nothing for the lack of paragraph breaks. There are a lot of run on sentences and oddly placed grammar breaks.

Sadly, I really want to read this but I can not get past these points to give it the honest attention it deserves.

A good idea is to write it in word, copy it into notepad/wordpad, remove formatting, enter your paragraphs, then copy it onto the screen here.

I would not mind at all if you did that and then reposted the story IN THIS THREAD, please.

You will get a lot more interest and readers that way.

Also, if it is a synposis, keep the word count low, if it is a script, use script style (Vlad (screaming): YOU WENCH!) so forth and so forth.

That being said, I think you have a great outline for a story. Good attention to detail and character creation and you have the foundation for an excellent trilogy. I like your ideas, just need to work on the architecture.

 

[ix_silver]

I can do nothing for the lack of paragraph breaks. There are a lot of run on sentences and oddly placed grammar breaks.

Sadly, I really want to read this but I can not get past these points to give it the honest attention it deserves.

That being said, I think you have a great outline for a story. Good attention to detail and character creation and you have the foundation for an excellent trilogy. I like your ideas, just need to work on the architecture.

Thank you! If I was a writer instead of a director, it would go easier. Wouldn't it be nice If a writer comes to the rescue of the story. If you could take some time I would email you the screenplay for surgery.

I do actually have a sequel in mind, but I feel like I have hit the wall, and can not polish the script more on my own. Did you mean, that this one outline includes the base for triology? I Hope you meant, that I can build a triology on this story.

 

[Interference]

Aww, jeeez, this is the OLD post. You did it again in a readable format! Ignore what I just said - which I'm replacing with this ... Good luck, though.