Virtual_Space
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- Dec 14, 2006
- Messages
- 84
This is my latest attempt at a novel, and it is very rough to say the least. I am not sure if it is good or not, so give me some brutal opinions. Anyone who read my last story idea, it is essentially the same, but the obstacle is my new antagonist.
I'm also not sure if it is really sci fi or fantasy, but I don't know what else to classify it as.
You see, Andrea was best described as a glutton for the good life. A life of excess if you will. Whether it was blowing a few grand for a wine tasting event at her favorite vineyard. Or if it was spending a small fortune on the latest Mercedes, she couldn't stop spending money.
Then when you factor in the divorce, a most unsightly of affairs, then you can see how quickly a small fortune can dwindle.
Perhaps I should explain, lest I lose you anymore. Joseph was the first marriage of Andrea's, and it would prove to be her last. A scant three years before this cold walk, Joseph asked for Andrea's hand in marriage. A most trifle of events to be sure, but Andrea seemed ecstatic at the mere idea. A foolish move on her part.
The marriage would devolve into a brutal divorce a mere two years later. Joseph managed to take half of Andrea's assets, an average haul. But too Andrea, losing half of her fortune was a crippling blow, and one she would never quite recover from.
Andrea stopped at the street corner, watching the cars travel quickly but quietly down the freshly groomed roads. I thought of planting a few suicidal thoughts into that primitive mind of hers, but knew it wouldn't work. No, Andrea was different. I couldn't merely force her to throw herself into oncoming traffic, no matter how much I desired to do so. She was different from the others. She lacked the strings of a puppet.
I became fascinated with Andrea shortly after her divorce. Her strong will and complete control over her emotions gave me a unique challenge. How do you control that which cannot be manipulated? That was my challenge, my obsession. I needed to dispose of her, show that I am without bounds.
She walked across the street without incident. I considered making one of the drivers forget about the traffic lights, slam into Andrea's frail frame with force. But no, that would be far too easy. Nowhere near satisfying enough to curb my frustrations. I needed to get atleast one pervasive thought into that little head of hers. Just one, then I would be satisfied.
A pair of lovers exchanged a kiss on the next street corner, one last kiss before the doldrums of the work day set in. Andrea walked by unphased. Apparently she didn't care much that they had what she had just recently lost.
“You will never regain what you lost,” I planted the idea, and waited to see if it would sprout.
Unfortunately, she continued on her way, seemingly unaffected by the stray idea that now pervaded her thoughts. No twitch in her face, no sudden slowing of the walk. Nothing, none of the standout actions of a successful thought placement. I doubted that she even heard it, even had the thought drift through the depths of her psyche.
Andrea walked up to her black Lincoln Town Car that sat along the street side. She fumbled with her keys for a moment before finding the right one. She quickly unlocked the driver's side door and got in. The car started on the first turn of the key, and I got the opening I had been waiting for.
My lack of control over the physical realm would matter little, all I needed was to plant a few well planned thoughts.
First I needed to find a suitable beginning to my chain. I needed to find anything that might help me, any single event that stood out. The lovers kissing on the street corner? No, nothing can come from them. A passing fire truck, perhaps cause the driver to lose control? No, too overt. Children frolicing along the side of the street? Perfect.
I began by implanting an idea in a nearby flower shop owner, a portly man of sixty seven. As he stood watering his outside plants, I planted a little mischevous plan. He bended to my will immediately, spraying the cold water from his hose onto the ground near a parked car. To him, all it seemed like was that the cars would have difficulty pulling out of their spots, even though the water had leaked into the center of the street. In reality, he was contributing to a woman's death, even if his contribution was minor.
Next, I blocked off both ends of the long street by inducing a traffic jam along both adjacent roads. It was fairly simple really, merely convince each driver in front to abandon his vehicle.
On Smith Avenue, I planted the thought that the man was having a heart attack.
“That feeling in you arms, thats the first sign of trouble. Your family history shows a great many heart problems, perhaps you should consider this. It never hearts to be safe. Just step out for a minute and ask that nice man at the coffeeshop for help. Whats the worst that will happen?”
Along Jadwin Boulevard, I convinced the woman driver that a nearby child was about to be struck by a passing car, even though the child was just crossing at a crosswalk. Like I said, simple. The weak minded are easily fooled.
“Those cars don't seem very cautious today. One slip and that child could be killed. Would you wan't something like that on your consience?
Then, I filled a young child with intense curiosity. A flower in the flower shop window, a simple rose would suffice. I made the child obsessed to the point that she could not resist crossing the street, even though the intellectual side of her said it wouldn't be a safe crossing. The primal side of her won out, as it often did.
“That flower looks beautiful, dosen't it? You should probably go get it. The cars wont bother you, they know that children cross the street often enough, they will stop in time. The flower shop owner is a nice man, he may even give you that rose. Wouldn't that be something?”
Finally, I induced a simple thought into Andrea, hoping that it would take hold. I made her think that her seatbelt wouldn't be necceary on these slow moving roads, and that she should just relax and be comfortable. I wasn't even sure the thought would work, but sure enough, soon the seatbelt was sliding off of her.
“The seatbelt must hurt, why do you still wear it? The traffic up ahead is tight, you wont need it anytime soon. Just take it off, it will feel so much better.”
With all the ideas planted, all I had to do was sit back and watch.
Andrea was driving quickly but carefully down the road. She couldn't see the young girl as she began to walk out from behind the parked car. She couldn't see that she might strike and kill a young girl if she didn't stop. She only saw the young girl slip on the ice when she was but a few feet away, too close to simply brake.
Andrea immediately swerved to avoid the young girl, just barely missing her, but hitting one of the nearby parked cars with ease. Without the aid of her seatbelt, Andrea's head whipped against the dashboard, knocking her unconsious. A trickle of blood ran slowly down the side of her slumped head. She was by no means dead, merely dying an extended death. But with the streets cut off, it was all but guaranteed that help wouldn't arrive in time. All but guaranteed that she would soon be dead.
Just to make sure I caused a few traffic accidents in different areas of town, just to give the ambulances something else to chase after. No one would come to Andrea's aid, I made sure of it.
Andrea died ten minutes later. My work was done. I had found the puppet's strings.
And that is how I killed Andrea Edgar. A simple chain of events led to the death of a woman that seemed impervious to my power. Proof that while I cannot control, I am still the master of manipulation. I can kill through mere thought, while others kill through physical means and methods. I am the puppetmaster towards man's mind, controller of all thought.
I'm also not sure if it is really sci fi or fantasy, but I don't know what else to classify it as.
Prologue
In what manner does man view himself superior to he who pulls the eternal strings? I control life, death and all that comes before and after. Who is man to call me a cruel master? Who is man to call me a loving caretaker? I neither take nor give. I merely control.
Man knows little of me, an ignorant beast pawing at the unknowable mysteries that supersede all. That is the reason for his failure towards his world, the reason for his failing in my master plan. No man, only the ever present puppeteer who enforces his will on all he wishes. That is my dream. That is the future.
Chapter 1
I watched as Andrea Edgar, a most unsightly woman, walked slowly down that cold sidewalk. Her shoes accumulated snow as she walked, quickly becoming covered in the white fluff. Wherever she went, she gave off an aura of power and wealth. Whether it was her necklace of black pearls, her heavy fur coat, or her designer purse, everything about her just screamed money. It was all a false persona though, the real Andrea Edgar was penniless, or at least penniless in her own mind.
You see, Andrea was best described as a glutton for the good life. A life of excess if you will. Whether it was blowing a few grand for a wine tasting event at her favorite vineyard. Or if it was spending a small fortune on the latest Mercedes, she couldn't stop spending money.
Then when you factor in the divorce, a most unsightly of affairs, then you can see how quickly a small fortune can dwindle.
Perhaps I should explain, lest I lose you anymore. Joseph was the first marriage of Andrea's, and it would prove to be her last. A scant three years before this cold walk, Joseph asked for Andrea's hand in marriage. A most trifle of events to be sure, but Andrea seemed ecstatic at the mere idea. A foolish move on her part.
The marriage would devolve into a brutal divorce a mere two years later. Joseph managed to take half of Andrea's assets, an average haul. But too Andrea, losing half of her fortune was a crippling blow, and one she would never quite recover from.
Andrea stopped at the street corner, watching the cars travel quickly but quietly down the freshly groomed roads. I thought of planting a few suicidal thoughts into that primitive mind of hers, but knew it wouldn't work. No, Andrea was different. I couldn't merely force her to throw herself into oncoming traffic, no matter how much I desired to do so. She was different from the others. She lacked the strings of a puppet.
I became fascinated with Andrea shortly after her divorce. Her strong will and complete control over her emotions gave me a unique challenge. How do you control that which cannot be manipulated? That was my challenge, my obsession. I needed to dispose of her, show that I am without bounds.
She walked across the street without incident. I considered making one of the drivers forget about the traffic lights, slam into Andrea's frail frame with force. But no, that would be far too easy. Nowhere near satisfying enough to curb my frustrations. I needed to get atleast one pervasive thought into that little head of hers. Just one, then I would be satisfied.
A pair of lovers exchanged a kiss on the next street corner, one last kiss before the doldrums of the work day set in. Andrea walked by unphased. Apparently she didn't care much that they had what she had just recently lost.
“You will never regain what you lost,” I planted the idea, and waited to see if it would sprout.
Unfortunately, she continued on her way, seemingly unaffected by the stray idea that now pervaded her thoughts. No twitch in her face, no sudden slowing of the walk. Nothing, none of the standout actions of a successful thought placement. I doubted that she even heard it, even had the thought drift through the depths of her psyche.
Andrea walked up to her black Lincoln Town Car that sat along the street side. She fumbled with her keys for a moment before finding the right one. She quickly unlocked the driver's side door and got in. The car started on the first turn of the key, and I got the opening I had been waiting for.
My lack of control over the physical realm would matter little, all I needed was to plant a few well planned thoughts.
First I needed to find a suitable beginning to my chain. I needed to find anything that might help me, any single event that stood out. The lovers kissing on the street corner? No, nothing can come from them. A passing fire truck, perhaps cause the driver to lose control? No, too overt. Children frolicing along the side of the street? Perfect.
I began by implanting an idea in a nearby flower shop owner, a portly man of sixty seven. As he stood watering his outside plants, I planted a little mischevous plan. He bended to my will immediately, spraying the cold water from his hose onto the ground near a parked car. To him, all it seemed like was that the cars would have difficulty pulling out of their spots, even though the water had leaked into the center of the street. In reality, he was contributing to a woman's death, even if his contribution was minor.
Next, I blocked off both ends of the long street by inducing a traffic jam along both adjacent roads. It was fairly simple really, merely convince each driver in front to abandon his vehicle.
On Smith Avenue, I planted the thought that the man was having a heart attack.
“That feeling in you arms, thats the first sign of trouble. Your family history shows a great many heart problems, perhaps you should consider this. It never hearts to be safe. Just step out for a minute and ask that nice man at the coffeeshop for help. Whats the worst that will happen?”
Along Jadwin Boulevard, I convinced the woman driver that a nearby child was about to be struck by a passing car, even though the child was just crossing at a crosswalk. Like I said, simple. The weak minded are easily fooled.
“Those cars don't seem very cautious today. One slip and that child could be killed. Would you wan't something like that on your consience?
Then, I filled a young child with intense curiosity. A flower in the flower shop window, a simple rose would suffice. I made the child obsessed to the point that she could not resist crossing the street, even though the intellectual side of her said it wouldn't be a safe crossing. The primal side of her won out, as it often did.
“That flower looks beautiful, dosen't it? You should probably go get it. The cars wont bother you, they know that children cross the street often enough, they will stop in time. The flower shop owner is a nice man, he may even give you that rose. Wouldn't that be something?”
Finally, I induced a simple thought into Andrea, hoping that it would take hold. I made her think that her seatbelt wouldn't be necceary on these slow moving roads, and that she should just relax and be comfortable. I wasn't even sure the thought would work, but sure enough, soon the seatbelt was sliding off of her.
“The seatbelt must hurt, why do you still wear it? The traffic up ahead is tight, you wont need it anytime soon. Just take it off, it will feel so much better.”
With all the ideas planted, all I had to do was sit back and watch.
Andrea was driving quickly but carefully down the road. She couldn't see the young girl as she began to walk out from behind the parked car. She couldn't see that she might strike and kill a young girl if she didn't stop. She only saw the young girl slip on the ice when she was but a few feet away, too close to simply brake.
Andrea immediately swerved to avoid the young girl, just barely missing her, but hitting one of the nearby parked cars with ease. Without the aid of her seatbelt, Andrea's head whipped against the dashboard, knocking her unconsious. A trickle of blood ran slowly down the side of her slumped head. She was by no means dead, merely dying an extended death. But with the streets cut off, it was all but guaranteed that help wouldn't arrive in time. All but guaranteed that she would soon be dead.
Just to make sure I caused a few traffic accidents in different areas of town, just to give the ambulances something else to chase after. No one would come to Andrea's aid, I made sure of it.
Andrea died ten minutes later. My work was done. I had found the puppet's strings.
And that is how I killed Andrea Edgar. A simple chain of events led to the death of a woman that seemed impervious to my power. Proof that while I cannot control, I am still the master of manipulation. I can kill through mere thought, while others kill through physical means and methods. I am the puppetmaster towards man's mind, controller of all thought.
Y
