JDP
Never told a lie. Ever.
Lord Dismal laughed manically, looking down on Bodrick and Puck with dark, malevolent eyes. His hands raised above his head, and his laughter became a dark, malevolent screech as he summoned the arcane power of The Majix for his finishing move.
"You are done for, my boy," he rasped. "Done for!"
With a sudden burst of spirit, Bodrick threw himself to his feet, tearing open his shirt to show his broad, manly chest. He then reached into his back pocket.
"You may well regret saying that, when I take Castle Dooom from you!" Bodrick laughed, his bright teeth flashing in the lava-light.
Lord Dismal seemed to shrink in on himself as he gazed at the artifact in Bodrick's sturdy hand. His power faded and a look of blind panic flooded his dark, malevolent face.
"A changer-stick!" he cried incredulously, "I thought they were but legend."
"As did I, Foul One." Bodrick grinned manfully. "But then I found this one in my shoe."
"You have not the knowledge to use it, whelp. You'll destroy us all!"
Bodrick responded by rubbing the changer stick against his masculine left earlobe, releasing the changer-stick's puissant Quasi-Majix.
"I figured it out," Bodrick guffawed, "As you tortured me in that damned cell. It all came down to something my father told me, long ago."
"But I am your father!" Lord Dismal interceded, a flash of hope washing across his dark, malevolent features.
Puck gasped in horror.
"I may be the fruit of thy infernal loins, Foul One, but you are not my father!"
"Then die!!!!"
Lord Dismal leapt forward, a dark, malevolent sword suddenly in his grasp. He lunged forwards and sank the blade into flesh.
"Puck!" cried Bodrick unfemininely, throwing his arms about his friend, who had leapt in front of him in a timely fashion, to accept Dismal's fell blade.
Before Dismal could make another stroke, Bodrick whistled manfully along the length of the changer-stick. Dismal screamed once, then fell to the ground in his new form: a melon. An ordinary melon, by all accounts, if somewhat dark and malevolent.
Bodrick knelt beside Puck. With a second manly trill, the wound in his friend's side vanished.
"You knew how to use it! The changer-stick, I mean," said Puck, straightening his spectacles.
"Yes," was all Bodrick replied. Manfully.
"And your father, Bodrick Senior...?" Puck continued.
"He was the Grand-High-Whittlemeister the storytellers spoke of. 'Twas he defeated Lord Dismal, not I. That last night that I saw him, he said unto me: 'Bodrick, my son, when you are in direst need, look in your left shoe. Rub what you find on your left earlobe, then whistle down it'. He had planned it all along."
Puck's jaw dropped and he straightened his spectacles. With an expert toss, Bodrick hurled the Changer-stick into the lava below. Puck let out a gasp.
"Some things are better kept as legends, Puck," whispered Bodrick sagely, the wisdom in his eyes belying the rugged virility of his features.
Puck nodded, straightening his spectacles.
"Come, Puck," said Bodrick in his deep, masculine brogue, "We must needs tell the King his realm is saved. No, do not try to rise."
And with that, Bodrick took Puck under one powerful arm, and the dark, malevolent melon under the other, and strolled towards the sun, now rising in the east.
The End.
"You are done for, my boy," he rasped. "Done for!"
With a sudden burst of spirit, Bodrick threw himself to his feet, tearing open his shirt to show his broad, manly chest. He then reached into his back pocket.
"You may well regret saying that, when I take Castle Dooom from you!" Bodrick laughed, his bright teeth flashing in the lava-light.
Lord Dismal seemed to shrink in on himself as he gazed at the artifact in Bodrick's sturdy hand. His power faded and a look of blind panic flooded his dark, malevolent face.
"A changer-stick!" he cried incredulously, "I thought they were but legend."
"As did I, Foul One." Bodrick grinned manfully. "But then I found this one in my shoe."
"You have not the knowledge to use it, whelp. You'll destroy us all!"
Bodrick responded by rubbing the changer stick against his masculine left earlobe, releasing the changer-stick's puissant Quasi-Majix.
"I figured it out," Bodrick guffawed, "As you tortured me in that damned cell. It all came down to something my father told me, long ago."
"But I am your father!" Lord Dismal interceded, a flash of hope washing across his dark, malevolent features.
Puck gasped in horror.
"I may be the fruit of thy infernal loins, Foul One, but you are not my father!"
"Then die!!!!"
Lord Dismal leapt forward, a dark, malevolent sword suddenly in his grasp. He lunged forwards and sank the blade into flesh.
"Puck!" cried Bodrick unfemininely, throwing his arms about his friend, who had leapt in front of him in a timely fashion, to accept Dismal's fell blade.
Before Dismal could make another stroke, Bodrick whistled manfully along the length of the changer-stick. Dismal screamed once, then fell to the ground in his new form: a melon. An ordinary melon, by all accounts, if somewhat dark and malevolent.
Bodrick knelt beside Puck. With a second manly trill, the wound in his friend's side vanished.
"You knew how to use it! The changer-stick, I mean," said Puck, straightening his spectacles.
"Yes," was all Bodrick replied. Manfully.
"And your father, Bodrick Senior...?" Puck continued.
"He was the Grand-High-Whittlemeister the storytellers spoke of. 'Twas he defeated Lord Dismal, not I. That last night that I saw him, he said unto me: 'Bodrick, my son, when you are in direst need, look in your left shoe. Rub what you find on your left earlobe, then whistle down it'. He had planned it all along."
Puck's jaw dropped and he straightened his spectacles. With an expert toss, Bodrick hurled the Changer-stick into the lava below. Puck let out a gasp.
"Some things are better kept as legends, Puck," whispered Bodrick sagely, the wisdom in his eyes belying the rugged virility of his features.
Puck nodded, straightening his spectacles.
"Come, Puck," said Bodrick in his deep, masculine brogue, "We must needs tell the King his realm is saved. No, do not try to rise."
And with that, Bodrick took Puck under one powerful arm, and the dark, malevolent melon under the other, and strolled towards the sun, now rising in the east.
The End.
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