Charming Serpent
Its ok to eat the apple.
- Joined
- Dec 4, 2007
- Messages
- 326
Some of you might already have seen this, but if not then here you go......
Tyrion and Illyrio depart Pentos through the Sunset Gate. They travel by a huge litter that could fit 4 Illyrio's so there is plenty of room for a dwarf. Unsullied guard their trek and there are a trail of mules that follow them carrying chests, casks, barrels, and hampers filled with delectables to make sure Illyrio doesn't lose his fat figure.
Tyrion complains that he should have been sent by ship to Slavers Bay but Illyrio explains the dangers of pirates and autumn storms. Illyrio will take him as far as the River road and from there he will travel to Dany. Tyrion grouses that by the time he gets to Dany her dragons will be as large as Balerion the Black Dread. Illyrio muses that might not be a bad thing.
They drink, eat, and talk a lot during the journey. Tyrion repeatedly promises himself he will cease his heavy drinking but keep filling his cup. They eat lavishly on all kind of foods and drink several different types of wine.
They stop only to relieve themselves on the road. The road itself is an old Valyrian road, fused stone raised a half foot above the ground. The road was wide enough for 3 wagons and it showed no sign of cracks from weather or traffic. Tyrion remembers that Valyria reached as far as Dragonstone, but never to Westeros itself. He finds it odd that they never tried to expand into the wealthy 7 kingdoms. "The wealth was further west, but they had dragons. Surely they knew it was there."
He notes a piece of dung on the road and thinks of Tywin. He thinks to himself that he should have killed Tywin long ago and hope Tywin will see him from Hell raisings Aerys' daughter to the throne.
He asks Illyrio of Dany and Illyio tells Tyrion of her. He explains that she was a frightened little girl, always wary. She was lovely, though, and he considered getting rid of Viscerys and claiming her for a wife. He doesn't do so because he believed her to be dead inside. He says that little girl died in the Doathraki sea and he does not know this new queen. Tyrion asks why Illyrio would put Mad Aerys' daughter on the throne. Illyrio says she is the sister of Prince Rhaegar.
During the conversation, Illyrio reveals that Viscerys had promised Illyrio the Master of Coin post and his choice of castles. The choices were Storm's End, Harrenhal, and Casterly Rock. Tyrion finds that hilarious. They both agree they are mistrustful of the gratitude of kings. Illyrio explains he has done all of this only for Varys. Tyrion's thoughts reveal he does not believe Illyrio at all on that.
Tyrion then finds out they are to meet a Griff on the road. Griff leads a group of sell swords. Griff is a knight from Westeros, although he had long been in Illyrio's service. Griff has raised his own son to be a knight and he is called Young Griff. Illyrio assures Tyrion that Young Griff will like him.
Tyrion is skeptical of dealing with sell swords since Cersei has offered a Lordship for his head. Illyrio explains that only Griff will know who Tyrion is and that he trusts Griff like a brother. Tyrion believes it is a mistake but only says, "Then I will trust Griff as I would my own brother." ( )
They keep eating and drinking and end up speaking of Varys. Tyrion learns that Illyrio and Varys grew up together in Pentos. Varys had arrived from Myr one step ahead of the slavers after being ratted out by a fellow thief. Varys had been a Prince of Thieves in Myr.
Varys was nearly beaten to death in Pentos and Illyrio decided to come to an arrangement with him. Varys spied on small time thieves and stole their loot. Illyrio worked out arrangements with the victimes to recover their loot for a price. Half of the thieves wanted to kill Varys while the other half started selling their loot to him. Illyrio and Varys grew rich and soon Varys began to train his little "mice".
The mice were little boys and girls who he taught to climb walls, slip into chimneys, and to read. The mice were used to steal information, memorize it, and then leave. Varys' talents gave him a reputation that got to an anxious king who did not trust his son, his Queen, or his over proud Hand.
Tyrion knew that story and admitted that Illyrio was much more than a simple cheese monger. Illyrio admits that Tyrion is just as quick as Varys had claimed.
They eat and drink some more and Illyrio falls asleep. Tyrion ponders the Myrish Fire wine he is drinking and thinks of dragons. He remembers his lonely childhood and remembers his dreams of being a Targaryen Prince of a Valyrian dragonlord, flying over the land. He recalls when two of his uncles asked what he wanted for his nameday. He begged for a dragon, claiming it didn't have to be a big one. It could be little like him. Gerion laughed but Tygett shook his head and told him that there were no more dragon because the last died a hundred year before. Tyrion thought it was very unfair and had cried himself to sleep that night. He thinks of Dany's 3 dragons and in his heart he listens for the beat of leather wings.
They pass through the Flatlands. Tyrion hears of the Velvet Hills and of the Rhoynar city Arnar. It was destroyed by Valyria. He gloats that he will see the Free Cities and ponders whether he should visit every whore in Volantis and name their bastards Tywin.
Tyrion recalls his 16th birthday when he announced he would visit the Free Cities as Gerion had. Tywin forbids it because Tyrion could not be relied upon to not disgrace the Lannisters. Tyrion defiantly claims since he is a man he is free to do as he wished.
Tywin tells him that only children and fools believe that men are truly free. Tywin tells him he should dress in motley and amuse the spice kings and cheese lords. But Tyrion will have to pay his own way and he can never return. Tyrion asks why Tywin wants him around since he has never had any use for him. Tywin decides to make use of Tyrion and on his name day has him clean all of the drains and cistens in Casterly Rock. Tyrion thinks Tywin hoped he'd fall in one but proudly recalls what a good job he did.
They pass south of the Hills of the Andalos. The Andals had departed from there ten thousand years ago. Tyrion recalls a septon claiming the Seven had walked the hills in human form. Tyrion recites passages from "The Seven-Pointed Star"(other holy books are mentioned but not named). Tyrion had at one time considered becoming a septon until he found a real use for his manhood and fell in love
Illyrio tells of his first love and how he lost her to the grey death. He kept her hands in his bedchamber. Tyrion lies and claims the love he had was for his hand because he cannot speak of Tysha.
They speak more of the Andals and Rhoynar. Illyrio claims that the Andals learned smithing from the Rhoynar. Tyrion learns that the hills are empty because the Khals often pillage the area. They argue about the Dothraki with Tyrion claiming that the Dothraki would not be quick to pillage if someone destroyed a khalasar. Illyrio argues the difficulty with doing so and that it is easier to buy them off. Tyrion sees why Tywin held the Free Cities in such contempt.
Tyrion hears stories of rock goblins and giants warring. The goblins won but were seduced by swan maidens from the lakes and were made thralls. The Andals then rose up and killed them all. Later, a group of robbers preyed on folks near the lakes until Rhoynar drowned them. Legend says the robbers are still there to claim anyone who tries to fish the lakes.
They pass a large Valyrian sphinx. There were two but the other sits now in Vaes Dothrak.
Tyrion gets drunker than ever that night and sings his and Shae's song. He recalls how Shae's hands beat at him when he strangled her, twisting the chain again and again. He does not recall whether he had kissed her one last time.
His thoughts go to Tysha and he recalls their first time. They both did not how. He tries to see her face but all he sees is Tywin on the privy when he shot him with the crossbow
He falls asleep and awakes to find the litter stopped. He climbs out to piss and finds Illyrio, surrounded by the Unsullied, speaking to 2 strange men. He banters with them about his pissing and then asks if their is trouble and whether he should grab an axe.
The larger one laughs and asks his companion, Haldon, if he had heard that. Haldon doubts that Tyrion could kill a duck. Tyrion takes the bait and tells them to fetch a duck. The large man draws his sword and tells Tyrion, "I'm Duck, you mouthy little pisspot"
He asks what Tyrion thinks of that. Tyrion get real nervous and responds by saying he had a smaller duck in mind. Duck laughs loudly at that. Haldon says Griff will be grateful for the dwarf but that Griff sent them for some chests. Haldon orders Duck to put the chests on some mules. Duck whines that he is the knight here but still does as he is told. Illyrio asks about Young Griff and asks if the boy is ready. Haldon tells him that Young Griff is as tall as Griff and 3 days earlier had driven Duck backwards into a horse trough.
Illyrio says he wants to give Young Griff his blessings and has a gift for him in the chests. Haldon tells him there is no time for the litter. Illyrio gets angry and says there are things Griff must know. The Golden Company has broken its contact with Myr and is riding west from the Disputed Lands. Haldon interrupts him by saying they already know this because Bennaro has seen it in his fires and that the Golden Company makes for Volantis. That is why Griff needs them to make haste. Illyrio says, "The dragon has three heads, there is no need for haste.
Haldon says Griff believes there is need for haste. Haldon eyes Tyrion and then begins to speak in another language. Tyrion cannot tell what it is but think it might be Volantene. He catches a few words that come close to High Valyrian. The words he catches are, queen, dragon, and sword.
Tyrion asks for their names after Haldon asks if Tyrion can ride as well as he pisses. Haldon tells him they also call him Halfmaester and that he is the healer of the group. Tyrion is then introduced to Ser Rolly Duckfield. Tyrion says he must call him Ser Duck and Duck agrees. Duck claims any knight can make a knight and that Griff made him one.
They ask Tyrion's name and Illyrio says it's Yollo. Tyrion hates it, thinking it sounds like a monkey and a Pentoshi. Tyrion tells them his name is Hugor Hill and (in "The Seven Pointed Star, the Father placed a crown of 7 stars on Hugor of the Hill) Haldor asks if he is little ******* or a little king.
Tyrion realizes the man misses little and he will have to be careful around him.Tyrion tells them even a dwarf is a ******* in his father's eyes. They tell him to fetch his axe and get ready to ride because Griff will not wait for man or dwarf.
Tyrion and Illyrio depart Pentos through the Sunset Gate. They travel by a huge litter that could fit 4 Illyrio's so there is plenty of room for a dwarf. Unsullied guard their trek and there are a trail of mules that follow them carrying chests, casks, barrels, and hampers filled with delectables to make sure Illyrio doesn't lose his fat figure.
Tyrion complains that he should have been sent by ship to Slavers Bay but Illyrio explains the dangers of pirates and autumn storms. Illyrio will take him as far as the River road and from there he will travel to Dany. Tyrion grouses that by the time he gets to Dany her dragons will be as large as Balerion the Black Dread. Illyrio muses that might not be a bad thing.
They drink, eat, and talk a lot during the journey. Tyrion repeatedly promises himself he will cease his heavy drinking but keep filling his cup. They eat lavishly on all kind of foods and drink several different types of wine.
They stop only to relieve themselves on the road. The road itself is an old Valyrian road, fused stone raised a half foot above the ground. The road was wide enough for 3 wagons and it showed no sign of cracks from weather or traffic. Tyrion remembers that Valyria reached as far as Dragonstone, but never to Westeros itself. He finds it odd that they never tried to expand into the wealthy 7 kingdoms. "The wealth was further west, but they had dragons. Surely they knew it was there."
He notes a piece of dung on the road and thinks of Tywin. He thinks to himself that he should have killed Tywin long ago and hope Tywin will see him from Hell raisings Aerys' daughter to the throne.
He asks Illyrio of Dany and Illyio tells Tyrion of her. He explains that she was a frightened little girl, always wary. She was lovely, though, and he considered getting rid of Viscerys and claiming her for a wife. He doesn't do so because he believed her to be dead inside. He says that little girl died in the Doathraki sea and he does not know this new queen. Tyrion asks why Illyrio would put Mad Aerys' daughter on the throne. Illyrio says she is the sister of Prince Rhaegar.
During the conversation, Illyrio reveals that Viscerys had promised Illyrio the Master of Coin post and his choice of castles. The choices were Storm's End, Harrenhal, and Casterly Rock. Tyrion finds that hilarious. They both agree they are mistrustful of the gratitude of kings. Illyrio explains he has done all of this only for Varys. Tyrion's thoughts reveal he does not believe Illyrio at all on that.
Tyrion then finds out they are to meet a Griff on the road. Griff leads a group of sell swords. Griff is a knight from Westeros, although he had long been in Illyrio's service. Griff has raised his own son to be a knight and he is called Young Griff. Illyrio assures Tyrion that Young Griff will like him.
Tyrion is skeptical of dealing with sell swords since Cersei has offered a Lordship for his head. Illyrio explains that only Griff will know who Tyrion is and that he trusts Griff like a brother. Tyrion believes it is a mistake but only says, "Then I will trust Griff as I would my own brother." ( )
They keep eating and drinking and end up speaking of Varys. Tyrion learns that Illyrio and Varys grew up together in Pentos. Varys had arrived from Myr one step ahead of the slavers after being ratted out by a fellow thief. Varys had been a Prince of Thieves in Myr.
Varys was nearly beaten to death in Pentos and Illyrio decided to come to an arrangement with him. Varys spied on small time thieves and stole their loot. Illyrio worked out arrangements with the victimes to recover their loot for a price. Half of the thieves wanted to kill Varys while the other half started selling their loot to him. Illyrio and Varys grew rich and soon Varys began to train his little "mice".
The mice were little boys and girls who he taught to climb walls, slip into chimneys, and to read. The mice were used to steal information, memorize it, and then leave. Varys' talents gave him a reputation that got to an anxious king who did not trust his son, his Queen, or his over proud Hand.
Tyrion knew that story and admitted that Illyrio was much more than a simple cheese monger. Illyrio admits that Tyrion is just as quick as Varys had claimed.
They eat and drink some more and Illyrio falls asleep. Tyrion ponders the Myrish Fire wine he is drinking and thinks of dragons. He remembers his lonely childhood and remembers his dreams of being a Targaryen Prince of a Valyrian dragonlord, flying over the land. He recalls when two of his uncles asked what he wanted for his nameday. He begged for a dragon, claiming it didn't have to be a big one. It could be little like him. Gerion laughed but Tygett shook his head and told him that there were no more dragon because the last died a hundred year before. Tyrion thought it was very unfair and had cried himself to sleep that night. He thinks of Dany's 3 dragons and in his heart he listens for the beat of leather wings.
They pass through the Flatlands. Tyrion hears of the Velvet Hills and of the Rhoynar city Arnar. It was destroyed by Valyria. He gloats that he will see the Free Cities and ponders whether he should visit every whore in Volantis and name their bastards Tywin.
Tyrion recalls his 16th birthday when he announced he would visit the Free Cities as Gerion had. Tywin forbids it because Tyrion could not be relied upon to not disgrace the Lannisters. Tyrion defiantly claims since he is a man he is free to do as he wished.
Tywin tells him that only children and fools believe that men are truly free. Tywin tells him he should dress in motley and amuse the spice kings and cheese lords. But Tyrion will have to pay his own way and he can never return. Tyrion asks why Tywin wants him around since he has never had any use for him. Tywin decides to make use of Tyrion and on his name day has him clean all of the drains and cistens in Casterly Rock. Tyrion thinks Tywin hoped he'd fall in one but proudly recalls what a good job he did.
They pass south of the Hills of the Andalos. The Andals had departed from there ten thousand years ago. Tyrion recalls a septon claiming the Seven had walked the hills in human form. Tyrion recites passages from "The Seven-Pointed Star"(other holy books are mentioned but not named). Tyrion had at one time considered becoming a septon until he found a real use for his manhood and fell in love
Illyrio tells of his first love and how he lost her to the grey death. He kept her hands in his bedchamber. Tyrion lies and claims the love he had was for his hand because he cannot speak of Tysha.
They speak more of the Andals and Rhoynar. Illyrio claims that the Andals learned smithing from the Rhoynar. Tyrion learns that the hills are empty because the Khals often pillage the area. They argue about the Dothraki with Tyrion claiming that the Dothraki would not be quick to pillage if someone destroyed a khalasar. Illyrio argues the difficulty with doing so and that it is easier to buy them off. Tyrion sees why Tywin held the Free Cities in such contempt.
Tyrion hears stories of rock goblins and giants warring. The goblins won but were seduced by swan maidens from the lakes and were made thralls. The Andals then rose up and killed them all. Later, a group of robbers preyed on folks near the lakes until Rhoynar drowned them. Legend says the robbers are still there to claim anyone who tries to fish the lakes.
They pass a large Valyrian sphinx. There were two but the other sits now in Vaes Dothrak.
Tyrion gets drunker than ever that night and sings his and Shae's song. He recalls how Shae's hands beat at him when he strangled her, twisting the chain again and again. He does not recall whether he had kissed her one last time.
His thoughts go to Tysha and he recalls their first time. They both did not how. He tries to see her face but all he sees is Tywin on the privy when he shot him with the crossbow
He falls asleep and awakes to find the litter stopped. He climbs out to piss and finds Illyrio, surrounded by the Unsullied, speaking to 2 strange men. He banters with them about his pissing and then asks if their is trouble and whether he should grab an axe.
The larger one laughs and asks his companion, Haldon, if he had heard that. Haldon doubts that Tyrion could kill a duck. Tyrion takes the bait and tells them to fetch a duck. The large man draws his sword and tells Tyrion, "I'm Duck, you mouthy little pisspot"
He asks what Tyrion thinks of that. Tyrion get real nervous and responds by saying he had a smaller duck in mind. Duck laughs loudly at that. Haldon says Griff will be grateful for the dwarf but that Griff sent them for some chests. Haldon orders Duck to put the chests on some mules. Duck whines that he is the knight here but still does as he is told. Illyrio asks about Young Griff and asks if the boy is ready. Haldon tells him that Young Griff is as tall as Griff and 3 days earlier had driven Duck backwards into a horse trough.
Illyrio says he wants to give Young Griff his blessings and has a gift for him in the chests. Haldon tells him there is no time for the litter. Illyrio gets angry and says there are things Griff must know. The Golden Company has broken its contact with Myr and is riding west from the Disputed Lands. Haldon interrupts him by saying they already know this because Bennaro has seen it in his fires and that the Golden Company makes for Volantis. That is why Griff needs them to make haste. Illyrio says, "The dragon has three heads, there is no need for haste.
Haldon says Griff believes there is need for haste. Haldon eyes Tyrion and then begins to speak in another language. Tyrion cannot tell what it is but think it might be Volantene. He catches a few words that come close to High Valyrian. The words he catches are, queen, dragon, and sword.
Tyrion asks for their names after Haldon asks if Tyrion can ride as well as he pisses. Haldon tells him they also call him Halfmaester and that he is the healer of the group. Tyrion is then introduced to Ser Rolly Duckfield. Tyrion says he must call him Ser Duck and Duck agrees. Duck claims any knight can make a knight and that Griff made him one.
They ask Tyrion's name and Illyrio says it's Yollo. Tyrion hates it, thinking it sounds like a monkey and a Pentoshi. Tyrion tells them his name is Hugor Hill and (in "The Seven Pointed Star, the Father placed a crown of 7 stars on Hugor of the Hill) Haldor asks if he is little ******* or a little king.
Tyrion realizes the man misses little and he will have to be careful around him.Tyrion tells them even a dwarf is a ******* in his father's eyes. They tell him to fetch his axe and get ready to ride because Griff will not wait for man or dwarf.
