asher marquering
servant of a battle oath
- Joined
- Jun 13, 2006
- Messages
- 210
hi i tried creating an "Evil" character did i succeed pls critique i think the piece might be a little long sorry there is a second part that explains the reason for the hatred maybe i'll post that here some other time. theres also a similar story titled "i have hatred for all of them" which deals with genocide and such "evil"
I have hatred for another: Sephius
The dark clouds prevented the slightest bit of moonlight or streetlight, from piercing it. Somewhere in the city, the inhabitants could hear clashing metal. They could smell the freshness that a thunderstorm brought but it was different, it had a been corrupted somehow. Somewhere Sephius smiled as his enemy’s face expressed its pain. Sephius’ blade had been forced through Claudius’ boot. Sephius could not let him die from a mere fall that was too good for him.
Sephius watched as Claudius dangled precariously from his blade. He saw as the blade began to slip through Claudius’ foot.
Pathetic his foot cannot even support his weight on my blade.
Sephius twisted the blade. In the blade, Sephius felt how Claudius winched. Sephius swung the blade away from the edge of the building sending Claudius skipping across the roof.
“Can you stand, Claudius?”
Claudius struggled to his feet, balancing majority of his weight on his foot that was not injured. They both stood ready for a second round.
“Come hero, attack me or I will kill all these people in the city!”
Sephius taunted, “Can your mind take loosing more people to my blade!”
Sephius chanted a magic spell then flew from the roof they were standing on to another across the road,
“Come!”
Claudius gave chase with a similar magical spell. Sephius saw the blade being swung at him, he lifted his hand slowly, blocking it, and then with a lightning fast strike he hit Claudius through the air to another rooftop.
The sounds of clashing blades and horrific thunder echoed through the city. In mid air, the two fought their blades causing sparks as they connected. Sephius was a better swordsman than Claudius was and easily sent him flying through the air. He flew around Claudius as he hovered in mid air, flanking him, then sent him screaming through the sky again as he crashed into one of the buildings upper floors.
Destruction? He must suffer at any cost!
Sephius landed on the floor and charged Claudius; the office was dark and stagnant from the lack of an open window. The sparks from there clashing blades caused a fire on the floor; the fire burned furiously heating the floor and casting deep shadows. The two raced around the floor, using even the ceiling and supporting pillars to launch an attack from.
Sephius chanted a magical spell silently; it caused him to move twice as fast as he had been moving. With his new speed, he flanked Claudius again and then struck from the shadows. His blade easily sliced through the steel reinforced concrete. The edges of the steel rods glowed orange from the sheer force of the blade but the attack missed Claudius; Sephius struck again, to his surprise his blade was deflected, with even more strength he struck a third time, the blades stopped dead; their sparks illuminating their wielders faces.
“What has made you so strong so quickly?”
“I will never tell you!”
Sephius stepped back then heard as a blade was swung through the air, then he smelt the rubble as he was sent flying through the ceiling. The inhabitants looked above them curiously.
How dare he, does he think he is on my level.
Sephius waited for Claudius to come from the building then cut a large section out of an adjacent building sending it sliding towards him. He watched as Claudius narrowly escaped the rubble. This sent panic through the streets as people ran for cover. Then just as Claudius was getting up, Sephius attacked again, after delivering a few blows, Sephius watched as Claudius mustered the strength to jump into the air and raise his blade above his head.
Sephius quickly flew to another building. Again, Sephius sent rubble sliding towards Claudius. He watched as Claudius jumped to another building. Before Claudius could land properly, Sephius attacked him again. They exchanged blows again. The smell of fire and rubble was fierce in the air; chaos erupted in the streets below. They continued to exchange blows, until their blades stopped dead again. Sephius flew towards some rubble, Claudius chased,
“Are you sad yet Claudius, loosing all you have dear to me and then having me come back yet again?”
Sephius flicked a large portion of the rubble towards Claudius; he hacked his way through it. The two exchanged blows in mid air again, but this exchange was horrific; not only did it send sparks flying through the air but shock waves as well; the shockwaves destabilized what was left of the city. The blades grinded against each other again.
“Even your lovely wife and unborn child, who you were powerless to protect.”
Sephius continued his taunt,
“What would you have named her?”
Sephius pushed Claudius towards the ground. Sephius watched as Claudius stuck his sword into the building, Sephius did the same.
“You can be with them again, just beg for mercy from me, I shall grant it.”
The unstable building they were hanging from began to topple.
They exchanged blows through the rubble. Sephius followed Claudius as he hacked his way through the rubble trying to escape. He landed on a platform that was one part of a building. He held his side. It is the end. Sephius attacked again, Claudius could barely lift his weapon and defend himself. He tripped and was completely open. Sephius looked at his sword, then punched Claudius hard in the face, Claudius managed to roll to one knee, it was obvious the pain and exhaustion did not permit him to stand.
“Get up Claudius!”
Sephius grabbed him by the neck and tossed him onto his feet. Sephius send a barrage of slices at him; he dodged most. Then Claudius stumbled again and Sephius kicked him against the chin sending him flipping into an iron rod. The rod twisted out of shape as it absorbed the shock. Then Sephius thrust his sword through Claudius’ chest impaling him,
“Why do you fight Claudius, what is most important to you that gives you strength, what else must I take from you?”
Sephius hated Claudius.
Claudius smiled, “There’s nothing that’s most important to me, you can’t take anything from me anymore.”
I have hatred for another: Sephius
The dark clouds prevented the slightest bit of moonlight or streetlight, from piercing it. Somewhere in the city, the inhabitants could hear clashing metal. They could smell the freshness that a thunderstorm brought but it was different, it had a been corrupted somehow. Somewhere Sephius smiled as his enemy’s face expressed its pain. Sephius’ blade had been forced through Claudius’ boot. Sephius could not let him die from a mere fall that was too good for him.
Sephius watched as Claudius dangled precariously from his blade. He saw as the blade began to slip through Claudius’ foot.
Pathetic his foot cannot even support his weight on my blade.
Sephius twisted the blade. In the blade, Sephius felt how Claudius winched. Sephius swung the blade away from the edge of the building sending Claudius skipping across the roof.
“Can you stand, Claudius?”
Claudius struggled to his feet, balancing majority of his weight on his foot that was not injured. They both stood ready for a second round.
“Come hero, attack me or I will kill all these people in the city!”
Sephius taunted, “Can your mind take loosing more people to my blade!”
Sephius chanted a magic spell then flew from the roof they were standing on to another across the road,
“Come!”
Claudius gave chase with a similar magical spell. Sephius saw the blade being swung at him, he lifted his hand slowly, blocking it, and then with a lightning fast strike he hit Claudius through the air to another rooftop.
The sounds of clashing blades and horrific thunder echoed through the city. In mid air, the two fought their blades causing sparks as they connected. Sephius was a better swordsman than Claudius was and easily sent him flying through the air. He flew around Claudius as he hovered in mid air, flanking him, then sent him screaming through the sky again as he crashed into one of the buildings upper floors.
Destruction? He must suffer at any cost!
Sephius landed on the floor and charged Claudius; the office was dark and stagnant from the lack of an open window. The sparks from there clashing blades caused a fire on the floor; the fire burned furiously heating the floor and casting deep shadows. The two raced around the floor, using even the ceiling and supporting pillars to launch an attack from.
Sephius chanted a magical spell silently; it caused him to move twice as fast as he had been moving. With his new speed, he flanked Claudius again and then struck from the shadows. His blade easily sliced through the steel reinforced concrete. The edges of the steel rods glowed orange from the sheer force of the blade but the attack missed Claudius; Sephius struck again, to his surprise his blade was deflected, with even more strength he struck a third time, the blades stopped dead; their sparks illuminating their wielders faces.
“What has made you so strong so quickly?”
“I will never tell you!”
Sephius stepped back then heard as a blade was swung through the air, then he smelt the rubble as he was sent flying through the ceiling. The inhabitants looked above them curiously.
How dare he, does he think he is on my level.
Sephius waited for Claudius to come from the building then cut a large section out of an adjacent building sending it sliding towards him. He watched as Claudius narrowly escaped the rubble. This sent panic through the streets as people ran for cover. Then just as Claudius was getting up, Sephius attacked again, after delivering a few blows, Sephius watched as Claudius mustered the strength to jump into the air and raise his blade above his head.
Sephius quickly flew to another building. Again, Sephius sent rubble sliding towards Claudius. He watched as Claudius jumped to another building. Before Claudius could land properly, Sephius attacked him again. They exchanged blows again. The smell of fire and rubble was fierce in the air; chaos erupted in the streets below. They continued to exchange blows, until their blades stopped dead again. Sephius flew towards some rubble, Claudius chased,
“Are you sad yet Claudius, loosing all you have dear to me and then having me come back yet again?”
Sephius flicked a large portion of the rubble towards Claudius; he hacked his way through it. The two exchanged blows in mid air again, but this exchange was horrific; not only did it send sparks flying through the air but shock waves as well; the shockwaves destabilized what was left of the city. The blades grinded against each other again.
“Even your lovely wife and unborn child, who you were powerless to protect.”
Sephius continued his taunt,
“What would you have named her?”
Sephius pushed Claudius towards the ground. Sephius watched as Claudius stuck his sword into the building, Sephius did the same.
“You can be with them again, just beg for mercy from me, I shall grant it.”
The unstable building they were hanging from began to topple.
They exchanged blows through the rubble. Sephius followed Claudius as he hacked his way through the rubble trying to escape. He landed on a platform that was one part of a building. He held his side. It is the end. Sephius attacked again, Claudius could barely lift his weapon and defend himself. He tripped and was completely open. Sephius looked at his sword, then punched Claudius hard in the face, Claudius managed to roll to one knee, it was obvious the pain and exhaustion did not permit him to stand.
“Get up Claudius!”
Sephius grabbed him by the neck and tossed him onto his feet. Sephius send a barrage of slices at him; he dodged most. Then Claudius stumbled again and Sephius kicked him against the chin sending him flipping into an iron rod. The rod twisted out of shape as it absorbed the shock. Then Sephius thrust his sword through Claudius’ chest impaling him,
“Why do you fight Claudius, what is most important to you that gives you strength, what else must I take from you?”
Sephius hated Claudius.
Claudius smiled, “There’s nothing that’s most important to me, you can’t take anything from me anymore.”
