LauraJUnderwood
Silly Author Person
I have hit one of those "snag" points where I feel like everything I do is a waste of time. Yes, I got a nice review of my story in Helix, A Speculative Fiction Quarterly, and yes, I got a nice letter from a fan about same said story. Yes, I have a new book out (and am darn proud of it). Yes, I sold another novel.
But for every accomplishment, there is still often that underlying sense of, "Am I wasting my time? Does anyone really care about what I write?"
Sometimes I wonder if the answer is really no. I have some things said to me--perhaps unintentional--by well-meaning folk I adore that have made me stop and think.
Am I wasting time pushing the pen across the page in the hopes that one day, I will be the author sitting at the table with the long line of autograph hounds waiting impatiently for their turn? Am I being silly for wishing one of the conventions I have regularly attended for so long would actually ask me to be a GoH?
IMPoster is speaking, and I am having a tough time kicking the little party pooper back into the can.
Now I am not actually feeling "down." Just frustrated by a lack of major accomplishments.
You would think after 35 years of busting my buns at this craft, making sacrifices, being nice to everyone (including the occasional person who just gets on my last nerve), that I would be one of those "household names..."
And it is not to say that I have not accomplished anything good with my career. I am pleased and proud of those things bearing my name. Okay, so maybe I don't always get the top reviews, or the attention, or even get noticed for who I am (except by the bookstore staff, and you wonder if they just think, Crikey, another author... as they smile and greet you). But I have a brag shelf by my bed that is groaning under the weigh of seven novels, numerous novellas and a large number of short stories, so I am not small potatoes by any means.
Then again, considering that statistically, there are So Many People who want to be published writers out there, the community of readers who just read because they like to read and not because they want to write is dwindling. Seems like everyone nowadays thinks they have a god-given right to be published.
And of course, some of them fall into the scam bucket, convinced they are finding gold when all they are getting is a lot of muck. I feel sorry for them.
Of course, I also blame the corporations. The conglomeration of the publishing industry--letting Bean Counters decide what gets published--has taken a toll.
All that aside, I decided that if I was going to climb out of this funk, I was going to need to set some goals.
And goals I did set.
1) Finish The Hob of Cooley Glen.
2) Finish rewriting Songs of the Magister.
3) Finish typing in and rewriting The Heart of Ymir.
Of course, I also have to do my part writing Bad City so my cowriter and I can get it together and on its way.
And there are a few shorter projects that I should probably make an effort to get into gear on. Plus I have a creative project (working on a CD of my music and readings) and artistic endeavors and promotional stuff for the existing set of tomes.
But for now, these three goals are my focus.
Because A Writer Writers...Always...
And a writer needs Goals...
Laura J. Underwood
But for every accomplishment, there is still often that underlying sense of, "Am I wasting my time? Does anyone really care about what I write?"
Sometimes I wonder if the answer is really no. I have some things said to me--perhaps unintentional--by well-meaning folk I adore that have made me stop and think.
Am I wasting time pushing the pen across the page in the hopes that one day, I will be the author sitting at the table with the long line of autograph hounds waiting impatiently for their turn? Am I being silly for wishing one of the conventions I have regularly attended for so long would actually ask me to be a GoH?
IMPoster is speaking, and I am having a tough time kicking the little party pooper back into the can.
Now I am not actually feeling "down." Just frustrated by a lack of major accomplishments.
You would think after 35 years of busting my buns at this craft, making sacrifices, being nice to everyone (including the occasional person who just gets on my last nerve), that I would be one of those "household names..."
And it is not to say that I have not accomplished anything good with my career. I am pleased and proud of those things bearing my name. Okay, so maybe I don't always get the top reviews, or the attention, or even get noticed for who I am (except by the bookstore staff, and you wonder if they just think, Crikey, another author... as they smile and greet you). But I have a brag shelf by my bed that is groaning under the weigh of seven novels, numerous novellas and a large number of short stories, so I am not small potatoes by any means.
Then again, considering that statistically, there are So Many People who want to be published writers out there, the community of readers who just read because they like to read and not because they want to write is dwindling. Seems like everyone nowadays thinks they have a god-given right to be published.
And of course, some of them fall into the scam bucket, convinced they are finding gold when all they are getting is a lot of muck. I feel sorry for them.
Of course, I also blame the corporations. The conglomeration of the publishing industry--letting Bean Counters decide what gets published--has taken a toll.
All that aside, I decided that if I was going to climb out of this funk, I was going to need to set some goals.
And goals I did set.
1) Finish The Hob of Cooley Glen.
2) Finish rewriting Songs of the Magister.
3) Finish typing in and rewriting The Heart of Ymir.
Of course, I also have to do my part writing Bad City so my cowriter and I can get it together and on its way.
And there are a few shorter projects that I should probably make an effort to get into gear on. Plus I have a creative project (working on a CD of my music and readings) and artistic endeavors and promotional stuff for the existing set of tomes.
But for now, these three goals are my focus.
Because A Writer Writers...Always...
And a writer needs Goals...
Laura J. Underwood
