anthorn
Well-Known Member
Its me again.
OKAY. Okay right now i'm in the middle of doing a serious outline for my novel.
I've changed the two main characters, i've changed the plot slightly. But i'm wondering on a few points like. Does this make a good story. Okay OKAY. Bare with me please. I'm going to list it in points. The first is a backstory
1. . Now There had only been four Endlords who came to Onchara. Two men. Rael and Kandera, and two women. Anwyn and Damien. While two of them died. Kandera fell off the top of a tower he was building. And Damien was imprisoned inside a Crystal. Rael after Damien was imprisoned became obsessed about keeping the Endlord line going and impliments a Breeding program, where he selects the best specimens of the species and mates with them to produce children who would be suitable to be considered an Endlord. During this he falls in love with one of the women and they have two "Perfect"daughters. Xara and Kara. Rael then vanishes for some unknown reason, and only Anwyn was left.
She had formed the Council of Alexiamdra to combat the threat of Damien who had been a little too power hungry. Unknownst to her Damien and Kandera had a son named Gol who was taken by his nurse into hiding. Years and years later Gol is grown and is bitter about the death of both his parents. He becomes a member of the Council and finds someone who is jealous of the power that Anwyn posseses. Yepithamy. They plot together with someother members of the Council to murder Anwyn. They attack her at her home. But she survives and goes into hiding with her Son whom she hides in the forest at Damorkine.
A year later she has raised a loyal army and they attack the Council. The result is a final battle at Macalina city which is destroyed. Anwyn is thought dead and flees to the arctic north. where she remains for a thousand years. During this time Yepithamy betrays Gol and tries to have him killed. Gol escapes. Yepithamy then changes all of the important history documents about Anwyn. And hides the fact that it was she who formed the Council in the first place. Laws are passed that forbid women from becoming sorceresses so as to prevent another war. And women who might be End-Lords are to be killed too. Anyone who breaks this law is taken prisoner by the Council and taken to a secret location. Meanwhile Anwyns son has grown to adulthood, but for some reason can not leave the forest.
2. Faircaira lives at Damorkine. She gets pregnant by Anwyns son Menenas. And then her life changes. She starts to exibit some signs of being an End-Lord. I.E Orange Irises. (This though is just because the child in her is of End-Lord blood.) All of a sudden she's surrounded by three different resistance groups and a council set on her death. One resistance group are called the Folllowers, they are diciples of the new Sorceress who has appeared in the north(this will be revealed to be Anwyn)
. The other group are the Duman erandis A group of disgruntiled women magic users tired of the Councils oppression. The third are the Fanharil fields, A mysterious group who people know little of. And they all want her to be their figure head as they believe her baby to be Anwyn reborn due to some arcaic prophecy. She knows that which ever group she chooses would mean war one way or another.
3. As this is going on the Council is already starting to lose its power on the people. As more and more people are rebelling. Yepithamy who survives by taking a renewal spell had grown very paranoid.
4. Anthorn lives in Osidian keep, with his foster father who happens to be on the Council. As a child he was found in the wreckage of an Airship. It will be revealed that Raels daughters continued the breeding program, and that Anthorns mother was one of the girls there. When she had Anthorn, he was proclaimed as a perfect child by the End-Lords. Scared for her son she fled and the Airship was brought down in a storm. It will also be revealed that the women who are sentanced to die, dont really die and are taken to become part of the breeding program.
One day a group of travellers arive at Osidian keep. Anthorn has been left alone in the keep with the staff and guards so he lets them in. Lorn the leader, tells him that his group are a travelling group of Singers/Actors and that for a night in a warm house they would sing him a song and tell him a tale. Among them is an Imaran girl with ebony skin:Nikita.
After the tale Lorn tells him that he really came to see his father, he is part of a resistance movement called the Duman erandis. And that his father works as a double agent for them. Lorn wants a substancal amount of money from his father to help with the effort. Anthorn agrees to contact his father. Lorn warns him that he's not against abduction to get what he wants as he's done it before.
During the night. Anthorn is awoke by Nikita holding a hand on his mouth and a knife to his throat. She tells him to be quiet or they're both dead, something is killing every single person in the Keep. Nikita will be revealed to be not working willingly for the resistance. They've kidnapped her to secure finances from her family and they've kidnapped Nikita's son to Secure her cooperation. It will also be revealed that she had a difficult pregnancy which resulted in her becoming paralized from the waist down, and that the Duman Erandis mages healed her. And continiue to threated to "unheal her." Together they flee the keep and the deadly shadow men. Who will be revealed to be working for the End-Lords Xara and Kara. They want Anthorn back.
5. Sorrel will be a whore who gives up her life of being a whore to search for her daughter whom she gave up into slavery eight years ago.
6. Garrison will be an Alcoholic brute of a man who was once a well loved hero. Faelii will be an old friend-a mercinary hired by the Fanharil fields to "rescue Faircaira" and she decides that she needs his help. Garrison comes along hoping to relive his former glories.
7.At the back of this i wanted the threat of Damien returning. And for that i would need some one to retrieve the Crystal from Anwyns former home Lancifer.
So is this sounding like a good plot- maybe not a coherent one. I'm still not certain about somethings. Mainly about how Anthorn and Nikita will evetually fit in to it. Or what they do after they flee the Keep. Could someone give me some help with this or not? Help me get it coherent etc. I plan this to be a duoligy or a trilogy
OKAY. Okay right now i'm in the middle of doing a serious outline for my novel.
I've changed the two main characters, i've changed the plot slightly. But i'm wondering on a few points like. Does this make a good story. Okay OKAY. Bare with me please. I'm going to list it in points. The first is a backstory
1. . Now There had only been four Endlords who came to Onchara. Two men. Rael and Kandera, and two women. Anwyn and Damien. While two of them died. Kandera fell off the top of a tower he was building. And Damien was imprisoned inside a Crystal. Rael after Damien was imprisoned became obsessed about keeping the Endlord line going and impliments a Breeding program, where he selects the best specimens of the species and mates with them to produce children who would be suitable to be considered an Endlord. During this he falls in love with one of the women and they have two "Perfect"daughters. Xara and Kara. Rael then vanishes for some unknown reason, and only Anwyn was left.
She had formed the Council of Alexiamdra to combat the threat of Damien who had been a little too power hungry. Unknownst to her Damien and Kandera had a son named Gol who was taken by his nurse into hiding. Years and years later Gol is grown and is bitter about the death of both his parents. He becomes a member of the Council and finds someone who is jealous of the power that Anwyn posseses. Yepithamy. They plot together with someother members of the Council to murder Anwyn. They attack her at her home. But she survives and goes into hiding with her Son whom she hides in the forest at Damorkine.
A year later she has raised a loyal army and they attack the Council. The result is a final battle at Macalina city which is destroyed. Anwyn is thought dead and flees to the arctic north. where she remains for a thousand years. During this time Yepithamy betrays Gol and tries to have him killed. Gol escapes. Yepithamy then changes all of the important history documents about Anwyn. And hides the fact that it was she who formed the Council in the first place. Laws are passed that forbid women from becoming sorceresses so as to prevent another war. And women who might be End-Lords are to be killed too. Anyone who breaks this law is taken prisoner by the Council and taken to a secret location. Meanwhile Anwyns son has grown to adulthood, but for some reason can not leave the forest.
2. Faircaira lives at Damorkine. She gets pregnant by Anwyns son Menenas. And then her life changes. She starts to exibit some signs of being an End-Lord. I.E Orange Irises. (This though is just because the child in her is of End-Lord blood.) All of a sudden she's surrounded by three different resistance groups and a council set on her death. One resistance group are called the Folllowers, they are diciples of the new Sorceress who has appeared in the north(this will be revealed to be Anwyn)
. The other group are the Duman erandis A group of disgruntiled women magic users tired of the Councils oppression. The third are the Fanharil fields, A mysterious group who people know little of. And they all want her to be their figure head as they believe her baby to be Anwyn reborn due to some arcaic prophecy. She knows that which ever group she chooses would mean war one way or another.
3. As this is going on the Council is already starting to lose its power on the people. As more and more people are rebelling. Yepithamy who survives by taking a renewal spell had grown very paranoid.
4. Anthorn lives in Osidian keep, with his foster father who happens to be on the Council. As a child he was found in the wreckage of an Airship. It will be revealed that Raels daughters continued the breeding program, and that Anthorns mother was one of the girls there. When she had Anthorn, he was proclaimed as a perfect child by the End-Lords. Scared for her son she fled and the Airship was brought down in a storm. It will also be revealed that the women who are sentanced to die, dont really die and are taken to become part of the breeding program.
One day a group of travellers arive at Osidian keep. Anthorn has been left alone in the keep with the staff and guards so he lets them in. Lorn the leader, tells him that his group are a travelling group of Singers/Actors and that for a night in a warm house they would sing him a song and tell him a tale. Among them is an Imaran girl with ebony skin:Nikita.
After the tale Lorn tells him that he really came to see his father, he is part of a resistance movement called the Duman erandis. And that his father works as a double agent for them. Lorn wants a substancal amount of money from his father to help with the effort. Anthorn agrees to contact his father. Lorn warns him that he's not against abduction to get what he wants as he's done it before.
During the night. Anthorn is awoke by Nikita holding a hand on his mouth and a knife to his throat. She tells him to be quiet or they're both dead, something is killing every single person in the Keep. Nikita will be revealed to be not working willingly for the resistance. They've kidnapped her to secure finances from her family and they've kidnapped Nikita's son to Secure her cooperation. It will also be revealed that she had a difficult pregnancy which resulted in her becoming paralized from the waist down, and that the Duman Erandis mages healed her. And continiue to threated to "unheal her." Together they flee the keep and the deadly shadow men. Who will be revealed to be working for the End-Lords Xara and Kara. They want Anthorn back.
5. Sorrel will be a whore who gives up her life of being a whore to search for her daughter whom she gave up into slavery eight years ago.
6. Garrison will be an Alcoholic brute of a man who was once a well loved hero. Faelii will be an old friend-a mercinary hired by the Fanharil fields to "rescue Faircaira" and she decides that she needs his help. Garrison comes along hoping to relive his former glories.
7.At the back of this i wanted the threat of Damien returning. And for that i would need some one to retrieve the Crystal from Anwyns former home Lancifer.
So is this sounding like a good plot- maybe not a coherent one. I'm still not certain about somethings. Mainly about how Anthorn and Nikita will evetually fit in to it. Or what they do after they flee the Keep. Could someone give me some help with this or not? Help me get it coherent etc. I plan this to be a duoligy or a trilogy
