In The Venusian Siren

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Kahnmark

Is but a humble dreamer
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The Venusian Siren is the name of a club on a space port where our anti-hero Stephen Parker is getting drunk. Let me know what you think.

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"My, aren't you a large Terran? I wonder if all your parts are proportionate?" a Marcurian dancer flirted as her smooth, toned midriff tauntingly twisted.

Stephen was becoming inebriated from the copious liquor he'd consumed and was enjoying himself so much he had decided to put off reading an urgent message on his CCD. The exotic violet-skinned beauty before him reminded him of Oss'Ett; not as beautiful, but at least the dancer wasn't verbally abusing him.

"Would you like for us to... have some privacy?" she asked, her long, thin claws zipping along his shirt.

She didn't wait for an answer; she simply walked to a door leading to the club's private rooms. Stephen followed as if spellbound down a dimly lit hall, watching the blue-furred prostitute's plump rear swagger from side to side. The girl opened an opaque metal curtain to a small, dark bedroom and put her hand out, beckoning Parker to enter.

Stephen darted in whole heartedly and reached for the release button on his trousers. But it occurred to him as he heard the curtain shut so quickly, that the girl hadn't followed. He turned and pulled at the chain-link veil, but it wouldn't budge.

"Hey there, Parker, Venom of the Vixt'l Cluster, they called you. Nice to see you back in Free Mountain" a Terran female voice spoke with vicious sarcasm from somewhere in a dark corner.

The Pirate thought he recognized it, although the hidden voice was that of a grown woman, rather than the fourteen year old that came to mind. Of course, it was twenty years ago that he last heard the voice of Morgan Pierce.

"I once told you to steer clear of this place unless you were ready to give your life, for taking my brother's."

The woman had hit a nerve and Stephen reacted in knee-jerk fashion, "Vick was a self-absorbed scug that crossed me and he got what he deserved. I had my revenge, no more, no less."

"He didn't deserve to die just for stranding you somewhere!" the woman cried.

Stephen could hear the low hum of a miratox pistol warming up, probably pointed at him.

"He just said he stranded me, did he? What about being stranded on a Police outpost, Morgan? You know how pirates are treated, they're either loosed in a vacuum or put to work on the worst prison colonies in the whole damn universe. What your brother did to me was worse than murder, but I at least had the decency to kill him painlessly. Stop defending Vick, you hardly knew him."

It was silent for what felt like minutes, and Stephen stood still in the face of death.

"Get off this port and out of the galaxy before I change my mind" her tone was soft, almost apologetic.

Still, Stephen couldn't see an inch of the woman in the corner. The curtain opened behind him, and he left hastily. On his way out from the club, Parker read the message from Michael he'd ignored earlier.

"Stephen, I thought you should know that Morgan Pierce is here looking for you. Word's already going around; people know you're back, and your old enemies are taking interest. I suggest you keep an eye out and don't go anywhere alone."

Maybe I should read his messages when I get them, Stephen thought.
 
Very cool writing. You definitely got something in there, but I reckon that you need to rewrite it again to get it better. You also might want to have a reality check. The anti-hero has drunk copious amount of liquor, got lured by a beuty in a trap, to listen a scorned woman moaning on "how hard the life has been", and he get out from it too easily.

The thing is that scorned woman don't let men off from the trap that easily, they want their pound of flesh, no matter what. They only let men go, if they are in love with them, but they still want their pound of flesh.
 
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