Lucifer's Desire (Not the story but the idea)

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Empress_of_Dreams

The Moon Child
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I figured I will post the idea behind my new story. I am still in the process of gathering ideas to make the book but I have the basic story line. This is part of a new chronicle series that I am calling The Angel and Vampire Chronicles.

The idea is that Lucifer makes amends with God and in return he split himself into two forms. One form is the holder of the damned souls, while the other form is a warrior form which protects the gates of hell (which he calls his brother but in reality the gate is apart of him). Anyway centuries or many thousands of years latter his "brother" is sick and is about to let out souls that are truly an abomination and can destroy Earth and Humanity. So know Lucifer most journey to Earth to enter a Catholic Church were underneath is a portal to heaven. There is like 3 portals that exist on Earth and one just happens to be under an old Church. Taking place in the early 1900s, Lucifer becomes Hector an anthropologist who is trying to dig the portal up. He barely can use his power in fear of letting lose the souls and since God can not interfere with this affair, he is nearly alone. Only certain angels are willing to help which include (my own creation) Barbarossa who is the father of the Vampires (I will explain latter), the Arch Angel Micheal who once hated Lucifer but is know a good friend, (another creation) Gabriela A female angel who is the leader of the Female Angels of Creation (Explain latter's) and that is it. Know we get to the issue. It seems someone is against them and they can not figure out who. The believe it maybe one of the Female Angels. Female Angels give birth to God's Creations and if they are against you, well then you are screwed. If even one turns against them, it will be harder to open the portal. Luckily Gabriela is willing to help them and happens to be the leader. Still her sisters are fighting against them or at least a few are. In the plot of all this problems Lucifer ends up finding his soul mate. Male angels can not mate with Female angels, however Fallen Angels can find love through mortal woman (or men). Lucifer finds on with a nun. Well go to hold she is not the most prettiest nun and is not old but not totally younger either (she is 30). She also has special powers that she thought were from Satan and so over all she became a nun to stop her powers through God.

So it is more complicated then this but this is the idea of the story.

It is pretty new idea, like a week old. I created things pretty fast but over a period of time I normally have my characters pretty well organized. It is a Gothic Romance as well as a bit Paranormal too. The Romance of course is between the nun and Lucifer (yes if you are religious I am sorry).

Characters::

Lucifer/ Satan: Satan is his counter part that is the gate, while Lucifer is the warrior angel. First hated by God, but know is consider one of God's equals who helps control the damned souls. He is pretty much a very unique character and can be very dark. He normally goes by the name Hector on earth and is in love with reading. He likes humans but does not have many friends on Earth. In fact his only friends seem to be a Priest and his angel brothers and sister.

Barbarossa: My own created angel who has fallen only a thousand years ago. He was asked by God to do so in order to redeem lost souls who are not evil, but in their life had mental problems that caused them to do horrible things. He loves female humans and ever since his fallen he has been with many. Many of those souls who choice to save became what is known as Vampires. They are not blood suckers but immortals who can not walk in the daylight and are cursed to do work for the angels, when the angels can not interfere.

Gabriela: A female angel of creation and the leader who is appointed by God. She likes Lucifer and considers him her brother. Gabriela is against much of what the Female Angels of Creation have been up too and she has slightly step down from leadership but it is up to God to make that decision, so in reality she is still the leader. She is pretty much a very kind and noble individual who loves children and animals.

Arch Angel Micheal: The leader of the Warrior Angels, he decided to befriend Lucifer again, even after their horrible fight which left both nearly on their death bed. He has a big ego but a bigger heart and like Gabriela adores children and animals. He also is seen riding his beautiful heavenly white horses on the plains of Heaven.

Father Gabreal: He is a unique fellow who is one of the few humans who knows the truth about the Angels. He is also the one that protects the portal and is allowing Lucifer to find the portal in the ruins under the Church.

Mother Martha: Her real name is Sarah but goes by Mother Martha. She is a psychic who does not like her powers and became a nun because the fear of going to hell. She is slightly confused and jaded at times but with Hector aka Lucifer by her side she is very much like her old self. She is not that attractive in her nun outfit but in reality she is very pretty. A little chubby then the average person but she has beautiful blue eyes and silky golden hair.

The Angels of Creation: An organization of Female angels who give birth to the God's Creation. They also a center of controversy and are known to go against what they were taught. Many of them despise Lucifer and wants the Damned Souls to leave the Gate and destroy humanity. God does not interfere sadly because he made a law not to interfere unless it is totally needed. So far he puts trust in Lucifer to do his need.

Tell me your thoughts. :)
 
Interesting idea, but it's going to be the Devil's own job (pun intended) to make it work.

Your problem is twofold. Firstly, you will have to present a cohesive world view which allows the reader to suspend disbelief. You are up against it here, as you have to convince readers that not only has Lucifer, the Toaster of Damned Buttocks and the Embodiment of Evil and All Things Infernal, patched it up with the Big G after a few epochs of interminable conflict and strife, but also that God is unable to break his own laws and just sort it all out for himself. He is supposed to be omnipotent, after all. And it's a fairly strange merciful father who allows his creation to go to the dogs just because he doesn't want to break a self imposed law.

You could do worse than check out John Milton and William Blake for a few tips on how to deal with these big issues. "Paradise Lost" (especially the first two books) presents a genuine twist on the traditional view of Lucifer and Blake's character of Urizen does the same for God.

Secondly, your spelling and grammar needs work, although I accept that your post was a bit of a summary rather than a draft block of the proposed text. But you are dealing with confusing issues here, so you need to get your message across clearly.

If you can pull it off, I think it's a promising story.

Regards,

Peter
 
It sounds like a challenging story to thread together, and original at that.

I have two points that Peter has not already stated:

1. Seperate the setting and characters from the plot and solidify the underlying problem that must be resolved. I'm not sure what Lucifer/Hector is aiming to do by getting to heaven if he needs to guard the entrance to hell or help his brother.

2. You have three characters whose names begin with "Gabr." If you intend for these to all be related in some sense, it's fine. If they are unrelated characters (either genetically or spiritually) then you might want to vary their names more.
 
It sounds quite interesting really. Where the evil is the good, and some of the good is evil. Sort of like Anne Bishops Black Jewels trilogy where the ruler of hell is actually a nice guy.

Keep plugging away at working on ideas for it and such.
 
Thanks for the advise. I was really hoping to get some here and I really thank you for that.

Yes, my grammar and spelling can be bad online. I am better when I am not writing on the computer.

Anyway, I do have a beginning to really explain everything. I will try posting some of my work up when I really can grasp a good beginning. It might take me awhile. I am really trying to make it work but my issue is I have other ideas spinning in my head. I just have issues of writing them down.
 
Question: Does it have to be in modern circumstances? Your setting is based on real-life religious mythology with a twist. Yet, it might take too much effort trying to turn your readers around from their present mindsets regarding religion (especially the part about God unwilling to break a self-imposed law.) In addition, it actually might antagonise some religious readers. Couldn't you use the same ideas and put it into a fantasy setting? Where got is not so much an entity as an organisation, and that tradition prevents the law from being broken? You can simply set your POV as the "nun" so she can show the perceived "evil" of your Devil brothers...
 
The concept behind it is not to say one is wrong in their faith or belief but to put question into what could have happened. If people take it to heart, then they are seeing it more as a reality rather then a fantasy. Fantasy can be very realistic in how it is portrayed and take you into a world that is similar to our own but has slight differences.

I have yet to work on the kinks. This a pretty new idea and still needs a lot of work and research to really set it correctly. In fact much of it will be portrayed more fantasy oriented in how things will be set and it also takes place in the nineteen-hundreds rather then present day.

This is going to have a very dark side to it similar to The Omen or Pan's Labyrinth but still have a fantasy following with some different species that will appear.

It is taking Angelic Mythology into a different view point and taking the idea of God and making God a little more "human" in what he can or can not do.
 
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