Glitch
#452
- Joined
- Feb 12, 2007
- Messages
- 1,800
This is a longer excerpt of the story I posted a few days ago.
It's just over 1,000 words and is written in present tense.
There's a bit of violence towards the end and one character behaving inappropriately towards another, hence the violence.
Some character info, as this would be delt with earlier in the story.
Jessica is the main character, 19 year old girl.
Abbey is Jessica's younger sister, 12 years of age.
Derek is Jessica's mothers' boyfriend.
----
Jessica walks into the living room. Abbey is lying on the sofa watching TV, a plate of half eaten food on the table in front of her.
‘Finished?’ Jessica enquires.
Abbey nods, her eyes fixated on the television. Jessica picks up the plate and walks towards the kitchen.
‘Can I have a drink, please?’ Abbey asks as Jessica passes.
‘Orange juice?’ Jessica asks as she turns to look at Abbey. She nods, still fixated on the television; it’s almost as if the voice came from somewhere else.
Jessica takes the plate into the kitchen. On the way she passes Derek; he’s pacing up and down the hallway talking on the phone, with a glass of wine in his other hand.
She fills up a glass with orange juice and heads back to the living room. Derek dangles an empty wine glass in front of her causing her to stop suddenly, he mouths the phrase fill it up. She takes the glass off him and continues into the room. On the way back to the kitchen Derek slaps her arse as she passes; he always tries to touch her when no one else is about, her mother passes it off as him being friendly.
She fills up the wine glass and waits for Derek’s return pass along the hallway; she intends to bump into him spilling the wine. She picks her moment and walks into the hallway, it seems Derek was expecting her and takes hold of the glass without incident.
She empties the plates into the bin and puts them on the sink ready to be washed; the dish washer is broken so she’ll have to clean them herself. She turns the radio on and immediately gets shouted at by Derek so turns it down. She puts her hands in the water not realising how hot it is. Quickly, she pulls them out as the radio picks up interference and Derek shouts at her for messing with it.
She mutters quietly to herself and runs some cold water into the bowl. As she stares at the stream of flowing water she can feel a cold shiver each time Derek passes the door, she goes over to shut the door but he puts his foot in the way keeping it open. He directs her attention to the sink which is about to overflow. She notices his glass is almost empty, already!
Jessica doesn’t realise that he’s finished on the phone and has been talking to her. She can still feel his gaze although she no longer hears his voice.
Looking over her shoulder she sees him standing in the doorway staring at her. He drinks the remainder of the wine from his glass.
‘I said, what’s the point of employing a housekeeper if you’re going to do the work yourself?’ Derek says as he walks over to the island and places his empty glass down.
Jessica half-heartedly replies, not really wanting to speak to him, ‘Kelly doesn’t work Sundays and the dishwasher is broken.’
‘So just leave them for her to do tomorrow.’
She doesn’t answer, instead continues to wash the plates; hoping her lack of interest will cause him to leave. She hears the kitchen door close, but she can still sense someone in the room with her: it’s a gift she’s had since childhood, she doesn’t know how it works but it made playing hide and seek much easier.
Her heart rate starts to increase as she feels his eyes checking her out. She can hear the beat: it sounds loud drum drowning out the radio, the vibration feels like it shakes her whole body on each strike. She tries to keep her breathing under control so he doesn’t notice her anxiety of being alone with him.
She looks up and lets out a little squeak as she’s startled by his reflection in the window; he’s much closer than she realised, standing behind her but off to one side. He brushes past her and walks over to the radio where he turns it up.
‘I thought you didn’t like it loud?’ Jessica asks desperately trying to present a calm facade.
‘When I was on the phone, yes.’ He replies. She can see from his eye line that he’s not looking at her face.
‘Getting a little excited washing those dishes, aren’t you?’ he smirks.
Jessica looks down and sees her nipples clearly poking through her shirt.
‘It’s the cold breeze from the air con.’ She hopes he doesn’t notice that the air con isn’t actually on.
He smiles, ‘But the air conditioners turned off. . .’ he trails off as he looks over and sees the green light on the panel indicating the air con is on.
A song comes on the radio that Derek likes, he turns it up and starts dancing on the spot. Jessica diverts her attention back to the bowl and relaxes a bit now that he’s found something else to focus on.
She gasps and her heart skips a beat as he puts his hands on her thighs, there’s also a spike on the radio. He tries to sway her hips in tune with the music, she tries to stay still but he’s stronger than she is. He loosens his grip slightly as he starts to sway more; this allows his hands to move up to her waist. His hands now touching her skin under her shirt, the drum of her heart beat returns. Feeling threatened she looks around for something; perhaps she can knock a glass over or something. She sees the knife rack but it’s too far away. She opens her mouth to say something but no words come out. He presses his body up against her, trapping her against the cupboards.
As he begins to raise his hands up under her shirt she tightens her hand around something in the bowl of water, it feels like a handle; she looks at the knife rack, there is one missing where a moment ago it was full. His hands continue upwards, she wants to scream but can’t. He kisses her on the neck and touches her breasts, the drum stops and everything goes silent like a moment stuck in time. She’s brought back to reality by a screeching sound from the radio, it distracts him. She grips the knife with all her strength and closes her eyes; her body spins around taking the knife out of the water and slashing it across his chest. He falls backwards bumping into the island, a look of shock on his face.
Derek falls to the floor as the door flies open; her mother has come to see what all the noise is about. Jessica sees the look of horror on her mother’s face and drops the blood soaked knife, the sound of it hitting the tiles seems to linger.
------
It's just over 1,000 words and is written in present tense.
There's a bit of violence towards the end and one character behaving inappropriately towards another, hence the violence.
Some character info, as this would be delt with earlier in the story.
Jessica is the main character, 19 year old girl.
Abbey is Jessica's younger sister, 12 years of age.
Derek is Jessica's mothers' boyfriend.
----
Jessica walks into the living room. Abbey is lying on the sofa watching TV, a plate of half eaten food on the table in front of her.
‘Finished?’ Jessica enquires.
Abbey nods, her eyes fixated on the television. Jessica picks up the plate and walks towards the kitchen.
‘Can I have a drink, please?’ Abbey asks as Jessica passes.
‘Orange juice?’ Jessica asks as she turns to look at Abbey. She nods, still fixated on the television; it’s almost as if the voice came from somewhere else.
Jessica takes the plate into the kitchen. On the way she passes Derek; he’s pacing up and down the hallway talking on the phone, with a glass of wine in his other hand.
She fills up a glass with orange juice and heads back to the living room. Derek dangles an empty wine glass in front of her causing her to stop suddenly, he mouths the phrase fill it up. She takes the glass off him and continues into the room. On the way back to the kitchen Derek slaps her arse as she passes; he always tries to touch her when no one else is about, her mother passes it off as him being friendly.
She fills up the wine glass and waits for Derek’s return pass along the hallway; she intends to bump into him spilling the wine. She picks her moment and walks into the hallway, it seems Derek was expecting her and takes hold of the glass without incident.
She empties the plates into the bin and puts them on the sink ready to be washed; the dish washer is broken so she’ll have to clean them herself. She turns the radio on and immediately gets shouted at by Derek so turns it down. She puts her hands in the water not realising how hot it is. Quickly, she pulls them out as the radio picks up interference and Derek shouts at her for messing with it.
She mutters quietly to herself and runs some cold water into the bowl. As she stares at the stream of flowing water she can feel a cold shiver each time Derek passes the door, she goes over to shut the door but he puts his foot in the way keeping it open. He directs her attention to the sink which is about to overflow. She notices his glass is almost empty, already!
Jessica doesn’t realise that he’s finished on the phone and has been talking to her. She can still feel his gaze although she no longer hears his voice.
Looking over her shoulder she sees him standing in the doorway staring at her. He drinks the remainder of the wine from his glass.
‘I said, what’s the point of employing a housekeeper if you’re going to do the work yourself?’ Derek says as he walks over to the island and places his empty glass down.
Jessica half-heartedly replies, not really wanting to speak to him, ‘Kelly doesn’t work Sundays and the dishwasher is broken.’
‘So just leave them for her to do tomorrow.’
She doesn’t answer, instead continues to wash the plates; hoping her lack of interest will cause him to leave. She hears the kitchen door close, but she can still sense someone in the room with her: it’s a gift she’s had since childhood, she doesn’t know how it works but it made playing hide and seek much easier.
Her heart rate starts to increase as she feels his eyes checking her out. She can hear the beat: it sounds loud drum drowning out the radio, the vibration feels like it shakes her whole body on each strike. She tries to keep her breathing under control so he doesn’t notice her anxiety of being alone with him.
She looks up and lets out a little squeak as she’s startled by his reflection in the window; he’s much closer than she realised, standing behind her but off to one side. He brushes past her and walks over to the radio where he turns it up.
‘I thought you didn’t like it loud?’ Jessica asks desperately trying to present a calm facade.
‘When I was on the phone, yes.’ He replies. She can see from his eye line that he’s not looking at her face.
‘Getting a little excited washing those dishes, aren’t you?’ he smirks.
Jessica looks down and sees her nipples clearly poking through her shirt.
‘It’s the cold breeze from the air con.’ She hopes he doesn’t notice that the air con isn’t actually on.
He smiles, ‘But the air conditioners turned off. . .’ he trails off as he looks over and sees the green light on the panel indicating the air con is on.
A song comes on the radio that Derek likes, he turns it up and starts dancing on the spot. Jessica diverts her attention back to the bowl and relaxes a bit now that he’s found something else to focus on.
She gasps and her heart skips a beat as he puts his hands on her thighs, there’s also a spike on the radio. He tries to sway her hips in tune with the music, she tries to stay still but he’s stronger than she is. He loosens his grip slightly as he starts to sway more; this allows his hands to move up to her waist. His hands now touching her skin under her shirt, the drum of her heart beat returns. Feeling threatened she looks around for something; perhaps she can knock a glass over or something. She sees the knife rack but it’s too far away. She opens her mouth to say something but no words come out. He presses his body up against her, trapping her against the cupboards.
As he begins to raise his hands up under her shirt she tightens her hand around something in the bowl of water, it feels like a handle; she looks at the knife rack, there is one missing where a moment ago it was full. His hands continue upwards, she wants to scream but can’t. He kisses her on the neck and touches her breasts, the drum stops and everything goes silent like a moment stuck in time. She’s brought back to reality by a screeching sound from the radio, it distracts him. She grips the knife with all her strength and closes her eyes; her body spins around taking the knife out of the water and slashing it across his chest. He falls backwards bumping into the island, a look of shock on his face.
Derek falls to the floor as the door flies open; her mother has come to see what all the noise is about. Jessica sees the look of horror on her mother’s face and drops the blood soaked knife, the sound of it hitting the tiles seems to linger.
------
I'm thinking of changing this, I want Abbey's request for a drink to not be spoken aloud and Jessica doesn't realise as she's looking the other way.
I want to add more reaction to Jessica on this, as she's convinced that the air con was switch off.
