Writing, family and friends. How do you manage it all?

[AlexM]

This question is a bit long, and also in a way many questions. But I am a little curious on other people's lives around writing.

What are your friends and family's views on your writing? do they encourage you? put you down? tell you to go to bed when you're on a bloody roll?

For me I find some friends support me while others regardless if my writing is good or bad don't seem to think its good [just jealous I guess] and my mum, she gets a bit tipsy at night and sometimes turns the power off in my room when I disobey her and keep writing. Its annoying when you hadn't saved what you had done and have school the following day and no alarm clock.

Anyway, yeah so answer if you want.

 

[Dozmonic]

My family are nothing but encouraging, the challenge is writing around my life. I do full time work and full time education (just in case writing doesn't work out). So finding QUALITY time to write is the issue. I use time at work to come up with general ideas, but when it comes to threading ideas into a book, deciding how you're going to tell it, knowing what chapter is going to go where and contain what; that is the time killer.

Ctrl S should be a way of life for a writer - it'll save any hassles with people cutting off your power. Keep a pen, paper and torch nearby so you can write ideas and try out words at night ;-)

Take encouragement from those that mean it, take criticism from those that hate it, everything written can be retold better because there is no perfect sentence. But at some point you'll have to say, "this is good enough". When you're happy that you've said it as best you can, it's time to let others have a read.

And if you haven't read the questions to John Jarrold thread on these forums, do, because you'll find wisdom and encouragement no end there!

 

[shadowbox]

I never told anyone, and I mean ANYONE that I wrote for...8 years. I grew up in a critical house, with a tipsy mom, too. I didn't like the idea of criticism, and too, I doubted myself. I still don't really talk about it, though my husband knows, and as a SFF geek finds it hot. Actually I have opened up here more then I ever have.

My advice is this. If you have the story in your heart and in your head, keep it there, don't ever lose it. Write what you can, when you can. Don't rely on encouragement, but accept it when it comes. And I'll say too, because I assume your in high school, it's sad, but those friends are a dime a dozen. I am four years out of high school, and I talk to maybe one of my old school mates, and I haven't seen her in 2 years.

 

[ade625]

I think I am priviledged that my parents support my writing, although my dad occasionaly seems less than pleased that I want to be an author. We have a rule in my house "No computers after 10pm", but I think I was allowed to continue until 12 mainly because I told my mum that I was writing some more on my story. Most of my friends know, or knew at some point that I like to write novels, and they vary from indifferent, to impressed, to encouraging.

I find that it is always good to have at least one fan - i.e. one person who wants you to keep on writing, solely because they want to read your work. I have a couple, one is my uncle, another is my friend that now lives in a different city. When I had a conversation with that friend, and he asked about my novel, it really inspired me to get a move on and write some more.

If you can't find someone who wants to read your work (for whatever reasons) it also helps to have a friend who's a good listener. When I talk to people about my novel, I often add extra things in that I hadn't thought of before. It's helpful to get your thoughts into words.

Also, I recommend a battery powered clock

 

[chrispenycate]

Family. friends?

Family has been a relative irrelevance in my life for over forty years now. We live in different countries, have different passtimes, see each other once a year. Certainly, my sister has been encouraging me to write for several years now, but I don't think my dragonverse was quite what she was expecting.

Brother? He'd probably encourage me if he found out what the word meant. (not that I feel lack of courage is what's slowing me down. There are advantages to being egocentric, and insensitive to the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune.) My sister in law enjoyed one short excerpt, and the youngsters have got their own lives to lead.

Friends? One of my friends has read the first hundred and twenty pages of dragons, and was pleasantly surprised; but I suspect the waltzing bear syndrome. The wednesday's SFF pizza is French speaking, so they couldn't judge, and anyway, I've nothing edited and prepared for perusal; there are more people here that have read, and commented on sentence length and semicolons than in the world at large; at least here you've understood the futility in attempting to supress my vocabulary, unlike those stateside who published my one commercial sale.

Obviously, this lack of feedback means I have to make my own judgements as to when a work is ready; but ultimately, isn't this true of all of us?

 

[The Judge]

I'm another secret writer.

Last month I finally admitted to a close friend that I had finished a novel and was hawking it around agents but before that the only person who has known about my writing has been my partner - and even he wasn't allowed to read anything I'd written before I started on this particular novel.

My family are resolutely unliterary and can be divided into the depressing negatives ('Why are you bothering? You'll never get published.') or the well-meaning ignorants ('That Chariots of the Gods is really interesting - you could write something like that.'). I've got three cats - and they have a better sense of story-line and character development and good prose than any of my human family!!

 

[shadowbox]

the only person who has known about my writing has been my partner - and even he wasn't allowed to read anything I'd written before I started on this particular novel.

My hubby hasn't ready anything I have written to my knowledge, though I have been known to leave stacks of hand-written notes around. I do throw ideas around a bit, but....

Like you, I just figure I'll mention it when I'm finished AND published. That way no one can tell me I can't do it.

I'm not out to prove any one wrong. I'm out to finish what I started.

 

[Natasha_Rogue]

School, work and kids...I write more then I sleep. Luckily my kids father and now best friend is very supportive (although he want's me to tell him how the scene went rather then read it himself! RME) and he makes sure I have quiet time to work. Sometimes I feel a little burnt out by everthing on my plate but my writing is my life, so I make it work!

 

[Shoegaze99]

You manage the same way you manage to do anything else in life, whether it's holding a second job or whatever. I have a specific time I work each night after my son is in bed. I stick to that as best as I can when no other obligations get in the way.

I don't worry much about encouragement. All I ask for is support. If I have work to get done in the evening I ask that my wife understand that. She does. So it's all good.