Synopsis - Back cover for THE SQUIRE

[Sonshu]

Arjan is a dutiful apprentice learning the forbidden arts of magic in a remote village. The glory days of the kingdom have slowly eroded over the last 250 years and practicing sorcery or worshiping any faith has long been punishable by death. The churches have been torn down and life is hard for the populace governed by their seemingly less than human lords.

Things quickly turn bad for the half elven mage as Arjan is cast out from his village and forced on the road to find ways of furthering his illegal studies. This is the catalyst that joins him together with his cousin, a free spirited swordsman, a savage priest and a downtrodden squire on an epic adventure as they learn of their troubled past and set in motion potentially world changing events for all across the land.

Edit - Sorry this is just back cover blurb thats all.



Feel free for gloves of critique guys and girls...... I am working towards the submission slowly but think this is not bad for my first one so go to town. I don't get offended easy, this is a sort traditional epic fantasy style book which will be part of a set I hope.

 

[Susan Boulton]

Sonshu;

This is more of a query "pitch" than a synopsis.

With a synopsis you don't hold anything back, you tell the whole story in one or two pages, unsually from the protag's POV.

 

[Boneman]

Erm.... is this a synopsis? Or a back cover of a book ie a jacket blurb? As the latter it's fine, but as the former it needs to tell the whole story, publishers and agents do not appreciate cliff-hangers or incomplete pictures.......

Go to www.mundania.com/submissions.html and scroll down to the bit about book blurb and synopsis...

 

[Sonshu]

Back cover for THE SQUIRE

Its just jacket blurb on the back of the book cover thats all short and simple.

The perils of internet searching, you see I looked up and on a site it said the synopsis is the same as the back of a book. I thought it was different but the site indicated the two were pretty much the same.....Perils of the net.

It is just the back cover blurb that you read in bookshops thats all.

 

[Teresa Edgerton]

You have certainly been either misinformed or misled. A synopsis is a very different thing than back cover copy. The synopsis is something you write and send to an agent or editor giving a clear summary of the plot of a book. Cover copy often only hints at the plot, being intended as a teaser for the readers -- more to the point, it's something publishing companies produce themselves, in-house, and has no part in your submission package.

The only reason for writing your own cover copy would be if you were self-publishing, which I understood was not your intent.

 

[Sonshu]

I have put my actual Synopsis up but I am not sure if this is what people could call a Synopsis so advice on that would be good if people can?

As for self publishing that is not what I wanted to do but the site Mundania Press did not indicate that this was a self publishing thing only but thanks for the tip.

As a book cover on its own what did you think of it Teresa?

 

[Teresa Edgerton]

It sets out a situation that readers would want to know more about, which is good, but it's a little wordy and you've written it with too many passive sentences.

For instance

Things quickly turn bad for the half elven mage as Arjan is cast out from his village and forced on the road to find ways of furthering his illegal studies

Might work better if you recast it along the following lines

When Arjan is cast out from his own village, he takes to the road searching for ways to continue his illegal studies.

That way, it doesn't all sound like things are happening to him, but gives some sense that once he becomes an outcast he is making his own choices and taking a more active role, rather than simply being carried along by events. Readers prefer characters who take action over those who are continually reactive.

 

[Sonshu]

I see your point.

Arjan is a bit of a weak character and out of his depth to start with, it is his cousin and 2 other main characters that protect him through events early on if this makes sense then he becomes a person of note around chapter 6 or so.

If you check the proper synopsis I posted that may make things a little clearer and your re-worked sentence is good I like it thanks.

 

[Blackrook]

Arjan is a dutiful apprentice learning the forbidden arts of magic in a remote village.

Apprentice to whom?

Forbidden why?

Remote from where?

The glory days of the kingdom have slowly eroded over the last 250 years and practicing sorcery or worshiping any faith has long been punishable by death.

Usually its the church punishing sorcery.

The churches have been torn down and life is hard for the populace governed by their seemingly less than human lords.

Less than human? What does that mean?

Things quickly turn bad for the half elven mage as Arjan is cast out from his village and forced on the road to find ways of furthering his illegal studies.

Who's casting Arjan out of his village?

Why didn't you tell us he was a half-elf in the first sentence?

This is the catalyst that joins him together with his cousin, a free spirited swordsman, a savage priest and a downtrodden squire

How many people are you talking about here? Is the cousin the same person as the free spirited swordsman?

on an epic adventure as they learn of their troubled past and set in motion potentially world changing events for all across the land.

Yes, we've read that story before.

You said, take the gloves off so there it is. I don't mean to discourage you or anything.

Feel free to take shots at my story: Stargen Chronicles. I could use some more feedback.

 

[Sonshu]

The backs of the books I own are about 150 words on average and simply what you’re asking for is I feel less important than the other parts I need to get across.

For example the church in the modern world dislikes sorcery but in most Dungeons and Dragons type settings they don't get on but are not always at odds. Dragonlance saga or many other fantasy type settings as this story came off the back of a role play game.

I don't think the blurb as such should be giving away how the lords have extended their life its more to draw the reader in and want them to find out.

Thanks for your points though and I will return the favour, it’s just I think you are limited on the back of a book and need to sell it rather than dredge too much detail as its the back that will help buyers to part with their cash in the bookstores and agents and publishing houses want £££ after all.

I will return the favour though and thanks for the thoughts.