Domestic violence

[Dimentio]

In chapter 8 in my book, we get a flashback to the childhood of the two main characters. They were best friends back then, but the father of one of the girls, an abusive, alcoholic unemployed steelworker, beats up his little ten-year old daughter when she's coming home for hanging out with the other girl. He beats her into a bloody heap basically.

I wonder if graphic or textual depictions of violence against children is against the law in some English-speaking countries?

 

[Ursa major]

As you might expect, so-called Misery Memoirs** - which purport to be accounts of real events with real victims - can and often do depict violence against children. My local WHSmiths (a major newspaper, magazine and book chain in the UK, which also sells toys and books for children) had many metres of shelving devoted to this "genre" the last time I looked.



** - See Misery lit - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia.

 

[Dimentio]

As you might expect, so-called Misery Memoirs** - which purport to be accounts of real events with real victims - can and often do depict violence against children. My local WHSmiths (a major newspaper, magazine and book chain in the UK, which also sells toys and books for children) had many metres of shelving devoted to this "genre" the last time I looked.



** - See Misery lit - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia.

It is quite popular in Sweden as well. People like reading about those who have it worse than themselves.

 

[Ursa major]

As to violence against children in fiction, I don't know. It might depend - I don't really know - on what age range of readers you're aiming for.

 

[Dimentio]

As to violence against children in fiction, I don't know. It might depend - I don't really know - on what age range of readers you're aiming for.

I don't know.

The book is about two females who once were best friends but as grown-ups find themselves on different sides of a conflict determining the fate of mankind. Some parts are very cute and innocent, while other parts frequent graphic depictions of warfare, effects of mass starvation, police brutality, insane Mengele-types roaming around, and a villain who actually gives me nightmares.

 

[Culhwch]

Thread moved to Aspiring Writers. Dimentio, the Workshop is just that, a place for writing challenges and activities, not general discussion. Please keep any general writing-related discussion in the general Aspiring Writers forum.

 

[Peter Graham]

He beats her into a bloody heap basically.

I wonder if graphic or textual depictions of violence against children is against the law in some English-speaking countries?

There's no law against it as far as I know. But you have to be careful. Too many authors use Acts of Mindless Violence and Cruelty as little more than a convenient plot device, usually as a means of allowing some Hideous but Entirely Justifiable Revenge in the denouement.

In reality, domestic violence is an unpleasant and very complex issue. It frequently repeats through the generations and is very often still a taboo subject. By all means write about it, but on the assumption that you are not basing the work on personal experience, do a little research into it first.

Regards,

Peter

 

[Dimentio]

There's no law against it as far as I know. But you have to be careful. Too many authors use Acts of Mindless Violence and Cruelty as little more than a convenient plot device, usually as a means of allowing some Hideous but Entirely Justifiable Revenge in the denouement.

In reality, domestic violence is an unpleasant and very complex issue. It frequently repeats through the generations and is very often still a taboo subject. By all means write about it, but on the assumption that you are not basing the work on personal experience, do a little research into it first.

Regards,

Peter

Well, it is not about revenge. Rather it is one bit of the puzzle why the poor girl ended up as she did, a shivering aspen leaf who believes that all men want to rape her or believes that all men and women think she is dressed like a whore. She is quite paranoid, and then she holds an intense religious belief (which basically is the only thing which keeps her fragile mind in one piece).

 

[The Judge]

It isn't against the law here in England, and I imagine that if/when you get a publisher they will know exactly how far you can go in describing any abuse to comply with laws/standards of decency elsewhere particularly for younger age groups.

Two points though. First, do you need to show it - even in flashback? Will its inclusion be a valid exposure of how degrading abuse is to both the abused and the abuser? Or will it be abuse-porn?

Second, there is a world of difference between violence to children and sexual abuse. It may be my mis-reading of your posts but you seem to be conflating the two. Acts of 'ordinary' violence, however traumatic, are not likely to make a child believe all men wish to rape her. It is of course possible for a man to be abusive in both ways, but it isn't clear if this is what you are intending. Reading your last post again, it could be that the rape ideas come not from her father but from other men - in which case I would urge you to think carefully about what you are doing. Are you trying to create a credible protagonist who is led into inappropriate relationships because she cannot resolve her mixed feelings towards her abusive and alcoholic father? Or are you behaving as a sadistic bully to one of your characters just so you can increase the porn quotient?

I would echo Peter's advice. Read around the subject before you start writing it - the effects of violence on children are well documented and should not be treated in a glib fashion.

NB: in the UK at least the words 'domestic abuse' tend to be used for adult-adult aggression, particularly husband to wife, not child abuse, sexual or otherwise.

J

 

[Dimentio]

It isn't against the law here in England, and I imagine that if/when you get a publisher they will know exactly how far you can go in describing any abuse to comply with laws/standards of decency elsewhere particularly for younger age groups.

Two points though. First, do you need to show it - even in flashback? Will its inclusion be a valid exposure of how degrading abuse is to both the abused and the abuser? Or will it be abuse-porn?

Second, there is a world of difference between violence to children and sexual abuse. It may be my mis-reading of your posts but you seem to be conflating the two. Acts of 'ordinary' violence, however traumatic, are not likely to make a child believe all men wish to rape her. It is of course possible for a man to be abusive in both ways, but it isn't clear if this is what you are intending. Reading your last post again, it could be that the rape ideas come not from her father but from other men - in which case I would urge you to think carefully about what you are doing. Are you trying to create a credible protagonist who is led into inappropriate relationships because she cannot resolve her mixed feelings towards her abusive and alcoholic father? Or are you behaving as a sadistic bully to one of your characters just so you can increase the porn quotient?

I would echo Peter's advice. Read around the subject before you start writing it - the effects of violence on children are well documented and should not be treated in a glib fashion.

NB: in the UK at least the words 'domestic abuse' tend to be used for adult-adult aggression, particularly husband to wife, not child abuse, sexual or otherwise.

J

She is not subject to any sexual abuse as a minor.

But due to her parents morality, she develops a self-image of either an innocent snow-white who is going to be exploited by vile men, or a bad whore who deserves to burn in hell for wearing a skirt some inches too short.

So she thinks of herself as either a Madonna or a whore.

 

[Dimentio]

"WHERE IN THE SECRET NAME OF THE DEMON HAVE YOU BEEN, YOU WHORECHILD!”
Sver's colour had turned purple red. His moustached, unshaven face was twisted in rage.
”DON'T YOU SEE HOW WORRIED YOUR MOTHER HAS BEEN!? SHE LIES INSIDE THE BEDROOM AND IS CRYING RIGHT NOW! BECAUSE OF YOU!”


He grabbed Avela's arm, lifted her up the air and threw her against the kitchen table. She bounced into the table, fell down on the floor crying in terror.
”Do you fathom that your brothers, Nezolae and Kasver, are out in a search for you? Are you retarded, huh!? SAY SOMETHING FOR THE DEMON'S SAKE!”


Avela sobbed.
”I... I visited a friend!” she defended herself squeamishly. She had huddled herself into a foetal position.


”You are lying, you damn whore!” Sver spat out in utter contempt. He raised one of his massive fists. ”What friend? Answer!”
”Er... her name is Maria, father...”


Nezolae and Kasver walked in, nonchalant but dripping wet. Nezolae, solid like his uncle with blonde hair and reddish skin began. ”Father, we have not... oh, I see. She has returned?”


Sver flew against them like a lion, and with the palm of his hand he struck down his firstborn on the ground.
”NEZOLAE YOU IDIOT! YOU ARE A COMPLETELY WORTHLESS HEAP OF DUNG! I AM WORKING MY ASS OFF AND YOU CANNOT EVEN KEEP YOUR SISTER UNDER CONTROL? DO YOU WANT HER TO BECOME A WHORE IN THE FUTURE OR WHAT?”


Nezolae stood up, wiped the blood from his nostril. Defiantly, he looked into his father's eyes, with a glance filled with hatred. Kasver had established a neutral expression.
”Father?” he asked squint-eyed. ”Why are my sister wearing new clothes?”
”GOOD QUESTION!” Sver grinned with insane eyes. He dragged Avela up from the floor in the collar of her blouse, pressed her back against the edge of the table. It hurt badly.


”WHAT HAVE YOU DONE, YOU WHORE!? HAVE YOU BEEN TO SOMEONE STEALING!? DAMNED THIEF!?”
He raised his arm and aimed with his hand against Avela's cheekbone. The little girl hyper ventilated through her mouth and her entire body shivered.


”I-i was... allowed to b-borrow it from Maria...”
For one moment, it seemed like Sver would stop himself, he lowered his arm slightly... then he smacked it into his daughter's face...

She flew over the wooden floor, fell down on her side. Her father shuffled towards her like a gorilla. It was apparent he had consumed too much moonshine again. He kicked his daughter in her stomach so all the air was pressed out of her lungs and her back hit the wall.
”DAMN WHORE!” he raged. ”YOU ARE NOT WORTH A PISS! I SHOULD PUT YOU OUT IN THE WOODS AS FOOD TO THE WOLVES! TO STEAL AND THEN HAVE THE GUTS TO LIE! WITH NO SHAME!”


She had crawled into a foetal position again, keeping her wet eyes shut. She could hear how Sver released his belt. The first swing hit her somewhere below the shoulders. The second whipped her at the centre of the spine, the third against the left kidney... She could not even scream, but just feel how the lashes hailed upon her body. Suddenly, it all stopped.


She looked up, with dead-frightened blue eyes...
Her mother had come out of the bedroom, holding back the arm with the belt. '
”HUSBAND, BETHINK! YOU ARE SLAYING YOUR OWN DAUGHTER!”


Sver turned his spiteful face against Lyalia.
”It is surely not me she is taking after! Your daughter has just made a burglary and stolen clothes, maybe money! Then she have the guts to not confess!”


Avela right then hoped that her father would get a heart attack and drop down dead! But she felt a sting of regret, it was a sin against Targon to think so! She silently whispered a prayer to her Lord, asking Him to forgive her wicked thoughts.


”Avela”, Lyalia asked, placing herself between Sver and the pale, crying girl. ”Tell me now what happened. Who did you break-in to? Who did you steal from? You very well know that it is a sin to lie, and that you end up in Hell if you do it.”


She helped her daughter up, leading the faltering girl to the nearest chair. Like an alpha lion, Sver paced around, threateningly swaying with his belt. His gaze was like a black storm.


Avela breathed in. A small stream of saliva dripped from her chin. She cried quietly and was in a state of panic. There were no words which were able to describe how low she felt. She had come home too late, she had worried her parents. She was really a horrible person and she felt she deserved to be killed to make good for all the wicked things she had'nt done!


”You should know”, Lyalia said, ”that I am terribly disappointed at you! You are really a terrible girl, and I hope you feel deep shame for what you have done!”


”Mother”, Avela sobbed helplessly. ”Forgive me so very much, forgive me! But I did not steal this dress!”
”No?” Lyalia hummed and crossed her arms. ”Did an angel fly it to you, perhaps?” Lyalia sounded tired and sad. Tears were visible in her worn-out, grave and annoyed eyes.


”No mother... Maria borrowed it to me.”
”Is this ”Maria” one of your imagined friends?”
”Maria is in my class... she is very sweet.”


”MARIA IS NOT PROVIDING FOR YOU! AND YOU ARE A LIAR!” Sver shouted so his voice turned raucous. ”WHAT WOULD A GIRL WITH SUCH A DRESS WANT TO HAVE TO DO WITH YOU? IMP! WORTHLESS SHITWHORE!” He moved his menacing belt back and forth, much like how stray dogs wagged their shaggy tails before attacking.



Lyalia had begun to caress her daughter over her aching back, with an expression of sorrow in her face. The blouse had received a black mark over a small area under the shoulders.
Sver had hit his daughter bloody.


Avela did not notice, but Lyalia slowly turned her face against her husband, giving him a gaze telling more than a hundred words. A defiant gaze, filled with burning wrath. Lyalia saw it has her duty to discipline and comfort Avela. It was her conviction that girls should not be raised as boys. And she really loved her daughter above everything else.


”Avela... is there really a Maria in your class?”
”Mmyes...”, Avela cried. Her heart had almost made her doubt whether it was true that she had been to Maria, that there was a Maria and that she had'nt stolen the dress. Many times her father had managed to make both her and her brothers confessing heinous things which they had'nt done, just because he became struck with rage upon hearing them denying or refusing to confess. The brothers had turned case-hardened, while Avela had sunk into herself and became a quiet, paranoid girl.


”That Maria, does she have a family name?”
Avela nodded sniffing. Her head had fallen into her arms resting on the table.
”Yes...”, she whimpered pathetically. ”Her name is Maria Aeslan... they are living in The Oak.”
”How did you go there and then home so quick? The Oak's a long way from here, Avela.”
”I walked there, but her father gave me a ride back here...”


Now it was time for Sver to once again ignite. He slashed his belt against a chair so hard that splinters flew across the room.
”YOU HAVE NOTGHING TO DO WITH THEM!” he screamed. ”THESE AESLANS ARE THIEVES, THUGS AND RASCALS! NEVER HAD THEY DONE ANY HONEST WORK IN THEIR LIVES! I FORBID YOU TO EVEN LOOK AT THEM! MY DAUGHTER SHOULD NOT HAVE SUCH A COMPANY!”

 

[Brian G Turner]

Too much caps lock and italics - makes it unreadable. Proper formatting would be helpful.

 

[The Pelagic Argosy]

This is a perfect example of the "less-is-more" rule for depicting violence. (Applies to sex too.) The verbal abuse alone is more than enough to get your point across. And I mean just one line of it. All the violence beyond the first "whorechild" in this excerpt is gratuitous. (The caps are also unnecessary.)

The father is a caricature. Trying to explain a character's neuroses by throwing in a stereotypical abusive-alcoholic father figure is an overused plot device. Having religious fanatic (otherwise non-abusive) parents is probably enough to give your character the Madonna complex you're describing. (Although, religious fanaticism can quickly turn into caricature also, if not moderated.) Have you considered that this father would all the more menacing if he said such twisted things in a normal tone of voice? (And without all the beating.) Really, a dad only has to call his daughter a whore once to really mess her up. And it might have more impact coming from someone she adores.

 

[Dimentio]

I could agree that the caps could be abolished, but I would say that the situation of Avela's family gives Sver the motivation of being like he is.

Sver is a very ashamed man, because he has failed to provide for his family. He is not so very religious as more of what in our world would be considered as "white trash". But he has not sunken so low that he does'nt give a damn about it.

He cares very much about how shitty the family's apartment looks, how the children are dressing in clothes given as charity through the church, and is quite bitter over his life's circumstances.

I would claim that parents like this are actually existing, and were quite more usual before in our world, before the welfare states were established. If Teledor had worked more like a welfare state, Avela and her brothers would most likely have been placed in foster care.

I don't consider Sver to be a caricature. A caricature does'nt have feelings and only act to prove some kind of point. Sver's acts are motivated by shame and guilt, and by beating up his children, he is taking out aggression which he really has against himself.

 

[The Judge]

I'm sorry to have to say it, Dimentio, but I think Pelagic Argosy is right - the father comes over as a caricature, and the violence seems unrealistic and gratuitous. I have no doubt that you intend the father to be a true three-dimensional character, but that simply isn't coming across. And I know that violent men would do as much and worse to children in real life, but it does not read real - it reads as absurdly exaggerated.

And I can't agree that violence of this kind, even if coupled with religious fanaticism, is likely to create a Madonna-whore complex in a child, if indeed such a thing exists - it isn't something I've ever come across in my reading, though I don't pretend to be an expert.

I really would urge you to read around the subject of child abuse - I'm sure it would help you gain a clearer idea of the kind of background you need to establish for your protagonist so that she develops the character you seem to wish her to have.

J