MattyK
Ugistered Reser
Hey all, this is my updated story. I've taken almost allof the feedback I recieved on board and I've written more since. This section is 1,800 words long, I hope that's not too long for a critique but I didn't know where to break it to make it shorter. It's probably a bit dialogue heavy in places again, I'm not sure myself, maybe it works in the places it happens. Any way, I'm after the works again; if anything is unclear, if there are continuity or logic errors, grammar...the lot!
“Dammit, Luce! It feels like the laser blast from that Zargon battle cruiser just knocked out the aft deflectors!” yelled Tim as he pitched the ship into a double roll and underneath the next barrage of fire.
“What’s a Zargon battle cruiser?” Replied Lucy. “What’s a Zargon, for that matter? And how many times do I have to tell you, space ships don’t fire lasers. This isn’t the future, you know.”
“Not for you, it’s not!”
Tim piloted the April Princess, their moderately-sized freighter skilfully between the dogfighting ships, as much to his own amazement as to that of anyone else on the crew. A star fighter silently exploded in a brief orange bloom as the small amount of oxygen was consumed in it’s fiery demise. Two more ships zoomed by so close that he could make out the intense expressions on the pilots’ faces.
“Fair enough,” said Lucy, “but you also mentioned something about shields, which cargo freighters don’t have. Plus, those ‘Zargons’ of yours aren’t even firing at us, they certainly didn’t hit us.”
“Well what made the ship go all shaky like that then?”
“The only thing shaky around here is your piloting. Did you forget about the horizontal stabilisers again? Now get us out of this fight and back on course. If you want to see a space battle so badly then just watch that Space Wars film of yours. Stop flying into them whenever you see them.”
“It’s called Star Wars actually. I can’t believe you’ve never heard of it!”
“Why would I have heard of it? When did you say it was made, the twentieth century? How many seven hundred year old films have you seen recently?”
She had a point. Being inexplicably transported five hundred years into the future left Tim with many concerns but strangely, one bothered him more than anything else. His once dazzling repertoire of pop culture quotes and references were now about as well received as his constant questions about all manner of ‘futuristic’ technology that had yet to be invented.
He made a final correction with the stick and then turned his attention to the Head-Up Display. He was still pleasantly surprised that he had been able to learn how to pilot a ship and operate it’s computer system as easily as he had, having never been that bothered about computers in his own time. He scrolled through the list of possible destinations within range and selected the Melacon Base on Neptune’s moon, Triton.
“There,” Tim said, “I found the paddles, we are officially out of s**t creek.”
“I wish you would stop talking like that.” snapped Lucy.
“What, the swearing? You’re thirteen. ‘S**t’ isn’t too taboo for you is it?”
“No, I mean the phrases. The stupid twenty-second century phrases you come out with. You sound so old fashioned. Just say we’re out of trouble or something normal.”
“I can’t help it, I’ve only been here a few months. I’ll adjust, just give me some time. What was that back there any way? Some sort of inter-stellar civil war?”
“I don’t know what that was and I don’t really care, it was nothing to do with us. Probably some pirates or bandits or something like that. As long as they’re behind us and not following I’m happy.”
Lucy turned her attention back to the display on her console before turning back to Tim. “I have a question.”
“Yes?” Tim replied.
“Why have you set a course for Neptune?”
“Nice try but I got it right this time. I didn’t set a course for the actual planet, I know we can’t land on a gas giant. We’re heading for the moon base on Titan as discussed.”
“You might want to check your spelling then. Titan is currently, and has always been orbiting Saturn. You’ve just set a course for Triton which is about one billion miles in the opposite direction.”
“Aww c**p,” exclaimed Tim in dismay, “I really thought I was getting the hang of this.”
“You’re not doing bad, it’s just your planetary and lunar geography that needs work. You’ll get it in time. For now, just use the stellar-nav.”
“Yeah, you’re right. Jimmy?”
“Yes Tim?” The reply came from a small and very fragile looking box on the main console that looked like it had seen much better years. It was quite thin, had a screen that took up most of the front side, and it seemed largely to be held together with what looked like sticky tape and sheer willpower. The screen was currently displaying a star chart and just underneath, along the bottom corner, was printed the word JIMMY.
Lucy had explained to Tim that she built the stellar-nav console when she was seven years old, having inexplicably developed an unnatural understanding of electrical devices in the previous years. Her only problem had been that she very much wanted to name it JIMMY but couldn’t think what the ‘Y’ in the acronym could actually stand for. Eventually she tied a length of string to the device and the Journey and Interstellar Map Management and Yoyo system was born. Not being a naturally aerodynamic or yoyo-like shape, it wasn’t long before JIMMY was smashed to pieces. After a lengthy repair, it wasn’t much longer before it happened again. And again. Eventually Lucy removed the string but only after making sure that the name JIMMY had stuck with all the crew.
“Can you cancel the current plotted course and take us to the Diamond base on Triton instead please?” asked Tim.
“Do you mean the Diamante base on Titan, Tim?” replied JIMMY.
“Yeah, that one will do, ta buddy.”
“Course plotted. Estimated time to destination, eighteen hours. Would you like to plot a via to Saturn’s rings?”
“Ooh, we can see them?” replied Tim excitedly.
“No!” snapped Lucy, “We need to get to Titan. We don’t have time to dawdle and the new ISCG comes out today and I want to read it.”
“That sounds important, what does it stand for?”
“It’s a monthly publication detailing the latest trade route updates, average market prices and...”
“Interstellar Style and Celebrity Gossip.” JIMMY said, butting in.
Tim stifled a laugh and turned his attention back to the HUD and Lucy glared menacingly at JIMMY, a gesture that was wasted as he didn’t have optical sensors.
The usual quiet calm returned to the flight deck. There was a distant, slow and somehow warm thrumming of the engines and an extraneous clattering sound from somewhere below deck that was so intermittent that Tim never seemed able to fully relax. Lucy, however, could sleep like a baby on the deck should she ever decide to do so, having lived her entire short life on the April Princess.
She loved the background noises of the ship as much as any other bit of it, especially since her father had caved in after months of her begging to change the name of it from Camalus’ Hammer. This was when she was just five years old and even then it was more of a home to her than anywhere else in the solar system. Now she was getting older she was beginning to regret her choice of name. Since her father’s sudden disappearance the previous year however, she resolved to keep it, partly due to her fears that she would never see him again.
“So what’s the plan once we hit Titan,” Tim asked as he got up from his console and walked across the deck to Lucy. “we staying long?”
“Not sure yet but we really need some work. We’re running low on some supplies and we could do with a few spare parts, too.”
“Hmm, never really thought of a spaceship needing spare parts before but I suppose it makes sense. What do we need?”
“Just the usual; couple of fuel cells need replacing, spare tyre for the buggy and one of the stabilisers is playing up.” The last item Lucy listed escaped her mouth only a split second before she realised what she’d said.
“One of the stabilisers isn’t working properly? Which one?” said Tim with a tone in his voice that suggested he already knew the answer to his question.
“Oh fine, I’m, sorry! Your flying was fine before but it’s how Dad taught me. He made sure I checked and double checked everything. I want you to be the same.”
“Typical, never trust a woman.” Tim said with a wry smile.
“Hey, I’m not a woman yet.” Lucy replied jokingly.
“I know, and at this rate you might not make it! So maybe I can help when we get to Titan. What kind of work are we looking for?”
“Cargo transport, passengers, anything.” Said Lucy as she idly flicked through screens of information from Diamante base. “I’d even say yes to a dangerous prisoner transport at this point.”
“That sounds like a hoot.” Said Tim sarcastically.
“What’s a hoot?” she replied. A question that made Tim pause momentarily.
“You know, a hoot. The noise an owl makes?”
“What’s an owl?” Asked Lucy in earnest.
“Are you kidding me? You’ve never heard of an owl! Have you ever actually been to Earth?”
“Of course I have, loads of times!”
“Ever stepped foot out of a spaceport while you were there?”
Lucy was about to speak and then stopped herself, realising that Tim actually had a point. She had been to Earth so many times she had lost count but she had never actually left the confines of a spaceport and walked outside. She had somehow come to think of it as a familiar place, a home away from home. Despite being born on Io, one of Jupiter’s moons, Lucy considered the April Princess to be her first home and then, for some reason, Earth after that. She attributed this to the Earth being the origin of the human race and still the largest population of humans anywhere in the solar system but only now she’d started thinking about it did it seem strange.
“Look Luce,” said Tim, sensing that he’d hit a nerve, “it’s no big deal. We’re going to be tripping each other up like this for months yet. There’s plenty of things here that confuse the hell out of me and I know there are things about me that you can’t get your head around. Just give it some time.”
“Thanks Tim,” Lucy replied, finding her words at last, “I knew there was a reason I hired you.”
“You’re welcome, kid. And if you can schedule some time off at some point, maybe we can go down to Earth and take a look around together.”
“That’s not a bad idea,” said Lucy, already trying to work out when would be a good time to make the trip, “and one other thing Tim?”
“Yeah?”
“Please don’t call me ‘kid’.”
“Okay, sorry boss.”
“Much better.” Said Lucy with a smile.
Chapter One
“Dammit, Luce! It feels like the laser blast from that Zargon battle cruiser just knocked out the aft deflectors!” yelled Tim as he pitched the ship into a double roll and underneath the next barrage of fire.
“What’s a Zargon battle cruiser?” Replied Lucy. “What’s a Zargon, for that matter? And how many times do I have to tell you, space ships don’t fire lasers. This isn’t the future, you know.”
“Not for you, it’s not!”
Tim piloted the April Princess, their moderately-sized freighter skilfully between the dogfighting ships, as much to his own amazement as to that of anyone else on the crew. A star fighter silently exploded in a brief orange bloom as the small amount of oxygen was consumed in it’s fiery demise. Two more ships zoomed by so close that he could make out the intense expressions on the pilots’ faces.
“Fair enough,” said Lucy, “but you also mentioned something about shields, which cargo freighters don’t have. Plus, those ‘Zargons’ of yours aren’t even firing at us, they certainly didn’t hit us.”
“Well what made the ship go all shaky like that then?”
“The only thing shaky around here is your piloting. Did you forget about the horizontal stabilisers again? Now get us out of this fight and back on course. If you want to see a space battle so badly then just watch that Space Wars film of yours. Stop flying into them whenever you see them.”
“It’s called Star Wars actually. I can’t believe you’ve never heard of it!”
“Why would I have heard of it? When did you say it was made, the twentieth century? How many seven hundred year old films have you seen recently?”
She had a point. Being inexplicably transported five hundred years into the future left Tim with many concerns but strangely, one bothered him more than anything else. His once dazzling repertoire of pop culture quotes and references were now about as well received as his constant questions about all manner of ‘futuristic’ technology that had yet to be invented.
He made a final correction with the stick and then turned his attention to the Head-Up Display. He was still pleasantly surprised that he had been able to learn how to pilot a ship and operate it’s computer system as easily as he had, having never been that bothered about computers in his own time. He scrolled through the list of possible destinations within range and selected the Melacon Base on Neptune’s moon, Triton.
“There,” Tim said, “I found the paddles, we are officially out of s**t creek.”
“I wish you would stop talking like that.” snapped Lucy.
“What, the swearing? You’re thirteen. ‘S**t’ isn’t too taboo for you is it?”
“No, I mean the phrases. The stupid twenty-second century phrases you come out with. You sound so old fashioned. Just say we’re out of trouble or something normal.”
“I can’t help it, I’ve only been here a few months. I’ll adjust, just give me some time. What was that back there any way? Some sort of inter-stellar civil war?”
“I don’t know what that was and I don’t really care, it was nothing to do with us. Probably some pirates or bandits or something like that. As long as they’re behind us and not following I’m happy.”
Lucy turned her attention back to the display on her console before turning back to Tim. “I have a question.”
“Yes?” Tim replied.
“Why have you set a course for Neptune?”
“Nice try but I got it right this time. I didn’t set a course for the actual planet, I know we can’t land on a gas giant. We’re heading for the moon base on Titan as discussed.”
“You might want to check your spelling then. Titan is currently, and has always been orbiting Saturn. You’ve just set a course for Triton which is about one billion miles in the opposite direction.”
“Aww c**p,” exclaimed Tim in dismay, “I really thought I was getting the hang of this.”
“You’re not doing bad, it’s just your planetary and lunar geography that needs work. You’ll get it in time. For now, just use the stellar-nav.”
“Yeah, you’re right. Jimmy?”
“Yes Tim?” The reply came from a small and very fragile looking box on the main console that looked like it had seen much better years. It was quite thin, had a screen that took up most of the front side, and it seemed largely to be held together with what looked like sticky tape and sheer willpower. The screen was currently displaying a star chart and just underneath, along the bottom corner, was printed the word JIMMY.
Lucy had explained to Tim that she built the stellar-nav console when she was seven years old, having inexplicably developed an unnatural understanding of electrical devices in the previous years. Her only problem had been that she very much wanted to name it JIMMY but couldn’t think what the ‘Y’ in the acronym could actually stand for. Eventually she tied a length of string to the device and the Journey and Interstellar Map Management and Yoyo system was born. Not being a naturally aerodynamic or yoyo-like shape, it wasn’t long before JIMMY was smashed to pieces. After a lengthy repair, it wasn’t much longer before it happened again. And again. Eventually Lucy removed the string but only after making sure that the name JIMMY had stuck with all the crew.
“Can you cancel the current plotted course and take us to the Diamond base on Triton instead please?” asked Tim.
“Do you mean the Diamante base on Titan, Tim?” replied JIMMY.
“Yeah, that one will do, ta buddy.”
“Course plotted. Estimated time to destination, eighteen hours. Would you like to plot a via to Saturn’s rings?”
“Ooh, we can see them?” replied Tim excitedly.
“No!” snapped Lucy, “We need to get to Titan. We don’t have time to dawdle and the new ISCG comes out today and I want to read it.”
“That sounds important, what does it stand for?”
“It’s a monthly publication detailing the latest trade route updates, average market prices and...”
“Interstellar Style and Celebrity Gossip.” JIMMY said, butting in.
Tim stifled a laugh and turned his attention back to the HUD and Lucy glared menacingly at JIMMY, a gesture that was wasted as he didn’t have optical sensors.
The usual quiet calm returned to the flight deck. There was a distant, slow and somehow warm thrumming of the engines and an extraneous clattering sound from somewhere below deck that was so intermittent that Tim never seemed able to fully relax. Lucy, however, could sleep like a baby on the deck should she ever decide to do so, having lived her entire short life on the April Princess.
She loved the background noises of the ship as much as any other bit of it, especially since her father had caved in after months of her begging to change the name of it from Camalus’ Hammer. This was when she was just five years old and even then it was more of a home to her than anywhere else in the solar system. Now she was getting older she was beginning to regret her choice of name. Since her father’s sudden disappearance the previous year however, she resolved to keep it, partly due to her fears that she would never see him again.
“So what’s the plan once we hit Titan,” Tim asked as he got up from his console and walked across the deck to Lucy. “we staying long?”
“Not sure yet but we really need some work. We’re running low on some supplies and we could do with a few spare parts, too.”
“Hmm, never really thought of a spaceship needing spare parts before but I suppose it makes sense. What do we need?”
“Just the usual; couple of fuel cells need replacing, spare tyre for the buggy and one of the stabilisers is playing up.” The last item Lucy listed escaped her mouth only a split second before she realised what she’d said.
“One of the stabilisers isn’t working properly? Which one?” said Tim with a tone in his voice that suggested he already knew the answer to his question.
“Oh fine, I’m, sorry! Your flying was fine before but it’s how Dad taught me. He made sure I checked and double checked everything. I want you to be the same.”
“Typical, never trust a woman.” Tim said with a wry smile.
“Hey, I’m not a woman yet.” Lucy replied jokingly.
“I know, and at this rate you might not make it! So maybe I can help when we get to Titan. What kind of work are we looking for?”
“Cargo transport, passengers, anything.” Said Lucy as she idly flicked through screens of information from Diamante base. “I’d even say yes to a dangerous prisoner transport at this point.”
“That sounds like a hoot.” Said Tim sarcastically.
“What’s a hoot?” she replied. A question that made Tim pause momentarily.
“You know, a hoot. The noise an owl makes?”
“What’s an owl?” Asked Lucy in earnest.
“Are you kidding me? You’ve never heard of an owl! Have you ever actually been to Earth?”
“Of course I have, loads of times!”
“Ever stepped foot out of a spaceport while you were there?”
Lucy was about to speak and then stopped herself, realising that Tim actually had a point. She had been to Earth so many times she had lost count but she had never actually left the confines of a spaceport and walked outside. She had somehow come to think of it as a familiar place, a home away from home. Despite being born on Io, one of Jupiter’s moons, Lucy considered the April Princess to be her first home and then, for some reason, Earth after that. She attributed this to the Earth being the origin of the human race and still the largest population of humans anywhere in the solar system but only now she’d started thinking about it did it seem strange.
“Look Luce,” said Tim, sensing that he’d hit a nerve, “it’s no big deal. We’re going to be tripping each other up like this for months yet. There’s plenty of things here that confuse the hell out of me and I know there are things about me that you can’t get your head around. Just give it some time.”
“Thanks Tim,” Lucy replied, finding her words at last, “I knew there was a reason I hired you.”
“You’re welcome, kid. And if you can schedule some time off at some point, maybe we can go down to Earth and take a look around together.”
“That’s not a bad idea,” said Lucy, already trying to work out when would be a good time to make the trip, “and one other thing Tim?”
“Yeah?”
“Please don’t call me ‘kid’.”
“Okay, sorry boss.”
“Much better.” Said Lucy with a smile.
