Creating races

[euphoneus]

Ok so I'm looking for some feedback on two races I created.

In my story there are four races that inhabit the land. The humans, the elves, the dwarves, and the Nomads. The Nomads are one of the races I'm looking for feedback on.
Race 1. The elves are most like the Nomads. The Nomads are tall, slender, quick and agile. But there are a few differences. For starters, the Nomads skin is often darkened from living in the desert, and they have a small gill like protrusion on their cheekbones. The feature allows them to breath during sand storms. Their eyes are also a bit different. Like elves, their quite narrow. But they are really no more than a slit a few centimeters wide.

Their culture is also different. Nomads live in small knit communities called Yatanas. Yatanas usually consist of 60-70 people. These communities move around from year to year, all depending on the weather. These communities are made up of four or five large families, that rarely extend outside the Yatana.

When it comes to religion, they are very different. Where as an elf does not often believe in gods, they play a key part in the nomadic culture. Daily prayers are done in the Yatana's main center, and offerings are contributed every morning. They usually consist of jewelry, and clothing for the priests.

They're clothing is the same for both men and women. Robes called, Tuas (two-ahs) are a burlap type fabric that are often embroidered with vibrant colors and clay beads.
Jewelry is special to the nomads. Gold and lapis, two of their most prized possessions, is considered the jewelry for only the most high ranking citizen.

The second race is a bit more complex. Whereas the Nomads were based off an African tribe,
these I made from scratch.

Race 2.The Sons are the second race. In my story there was an enormous battle many years before. The way this war ended, was by birthing the Sons.
A group of magicians were upset by the war and the things the races were doing in order to win. No one was siding with anyone, it was a four sided war. The magicians, a small group of wizards and griffons, made a pact with each of the races. If the magicians could show the races, how live and work as one then the war would end.

The Sons were just that, a combination of each race put into one living being. Not only were they a symbol of peace, but they were also guardians to the races.
In order to make sure that they would not be killed, the magicians gave each son a special power. Each one had the ability to shift into a certain animal. The first Son, the protector of humans, was given the ability to shift into a lion. The lion was meant to symbolize the humans family values. The seconds, the protector of the Nomads, shifted into an eagle. The eagle was meant to symbolize how the Nomads drifted from one location to another. The third, the protector of the dwarves shifted into a bear. The bear was meant to symbolize their ability to live in the mountains, and their sturdiness. The fourth, the protector of the elves, shifted into a wolf. The wolf was meant to symbolize their grace, and stealth.

I can't think of anything else to type up, other than the fourth one is the one I center around the most. He plays a key role in my story =D Anyway, stab at it however you like =D

 

[The Judge]

Not quite sure what feedback you're wanting euphoneus. They sound interesting to me if that's of any help. I was a bit confused that you referred to the Sons as 'Race 2' because surely aren't a race as such, but 4 separate individuals. But other than that, yes it sounds as if you have an intriguing set up.

Couple of small points. Would gills on a person's face allow him/her to breath during a sand storm? Perhaps some of the more scientific-y people might be able to say if that's plausible. For myself, I didn't think the idea of daily offerings to the gods was particularly realistic. Even in a settled community there's a limit to the number of times you can give away jewellery or clothing - people just don't have so much spare that they can dispose of several hundred items each year. But I'd have thought that nomads have to keep belongings under control -- you can't traipse around the countryside with lots of useless stuff -- so the idea of them draping thousands of necklaces or whatever over a few effigies strikes me as odd. (I realise, though, that I might have got hold of the wrong end of the stick as to what you mean by the offerings each morning.)

If there's anything in particular you want addressed, let us know.

J

 

[euphoneus]

Thank you, I wasn't sure if anyone would find them interesting or anything. =D

Ah yes, I was thinking about that as I wrote it. I think I may change it to just simple meals or such. or maybe just once month =D But thankyou, now I can see a different view on them =D

Oh and the gills, I really should have expanded on that shouldn't I -slaps self- Well, they're like a filter, they allow the air to come in and the sand not to. =D

 

[The Judge]

Sorry to post again, but another couple of points occurred to me somewhat belatedly.

Firstly, you don't say why the Nomads are nomadic other than 'depending on the weather'. I'm not an expert on this, but aren't there usually animals involved in some way? ie taking the goats from oasis to oasis because there isn't enough pasture for them if the tribe stays in one place; or following the reindeer in their migration.

I'm not sure how much research you've done into nomadic lifestyles, but I think this is a pre-requisite if these people are playing an important role in the book. And even if they are only peripheral, you ought to work out why they are wanderers if you haven't already done so.

Secondly, you refer to jewellery for the most high ranking citizen. I don't know that 'citizen' is a particularly appropriate word in the context of only 60-70 people -- most of whom will be related to the others presumably (I know you say there are 4 or 5 families, but if they marry within the Yatana then pretty soon everyone is in one extended family). The Patriarch/Matriarch might be a better concept for the leader. Also I'm not so sure about 'priests' in the plural within such a very small body of people.

Also, it might be an idea to think about what they do. Are they wholly self-sufficient? Do they make the gold and lapiz jewellery for the bigwigs or buy it in? If they buy it, where do they get their money? Do they barter their prized goats for it? What role does each member take on within the group? These socio-economic points are important, even if not as immediately attractive as thinking about their clothing etc.

J

 

[euphoneus]

Hmm. I didn't do much research actually, I shall look into that. I do see what your saying, thankyou for the feedback =D

 

[Teresa Edgerton]

My first thought was also that a nomadic culture would be moving about to accomodate the needs of their herd animals (after all they have to have something to eat out there in the desert), water, grazing, etc. If they have riding or draft animals, these would have the same needs (they might also breed these animals to sell, which would allow them to buy the materials for the necklaces and clothing).

You really do need to think about what these people eat and where they get it.

And with a group of only four or five families and only 60-70 individuals, unless everyone is to become very, very, inbred, either all the young males and females would have to marry outside the tribe (in which case, who would go to live with whose people?) or at least they would have a rigid system of how the families intermarry -- unless they decide to simplify everything (socially, although not genetically) by only counting relationships on one side of the family.

So you really do need to read up on marriage customs, too.

 

[euphoneus]

oh yes I forgot about that.. =/ thank you though I shall do just that =D

 

[Teresa Edgerton]

If you want to create imaginary cultures, it would help if you read a number of books on, at least, basic anthropology. They will not only tell you some of the things you have been doing wrong and how to correct them, but should give you some new ideas to work with, too. Research can be a lot of fun.

 

[euphoneus]

oh, I had no idea such a thing exsisted =D Is there any that you know of?

 

[Teresa Edgerton]

I doubt the textbooks I read in college are still available, even if I could remember the titles.

But if you are looking for help with your mythology, you might try Joseph Campbell, The Hero's Journey or the multi-volume Power of Myth. Campbell's work was very influential, but it's very accessible, not at all academic in flavor.

The Golden Bough, by James Frazer is packed with information about primitive cultures throughout the world, although even in the abridged form it can be rather overwhelming, and I don't remember anything specific about marriages. Still, if you find it at the library, it's worth taking home and browsing through it for things you can use.

I like Mircea Eliade. Anything by him would explain some of the mythic underpinnings of society and culture. A little more difficult than Campbell, less staggering than Frazer.

For other aspects, particularly marriage customs, I suggest that you go to your library and search the catalogue for books on Cultural Anthropology, or type in the words Cultural Anthropology at amazon.com or amazon.ca and see what you find. There is (I was just surprised to learn) even an Anthropology for Dummies, which ought to be an easy way into the subject.

And here is another tip when researching a subject you hardly know anything about: begin in the children's section. Books for adults often can be impenetrable because they assume you already know the basics, and often that you know much more than the basics. Kids books give you the basics, so that you can go on and read texts written for adults without getting lost.

And it occurs to me that since we are helping you work out an aspect of your novel, this thread belonged in the Workshop all along, so I'm moving it.

 

[Scifi fan]

Why don't you read up on ancient cultures? If you want one of your races to have a medieval European look, read up on the society of that time; if you want a Meso-American feel, read up on the Aztecs and Incas; if you want an Asian feel, read up on either the Chinese, Japanese, or Indian empires.

The first task of a writer is to research his topic.

 

[ChrisQ]

You also might consider how and why these races evolved on a single planet too. Normally races-as in different species of beings- merge, kill each other off, or in some way shape or form end up with one dominant species if they share the same space. I know this is fantasy, but that question has always made me wonder. And if they evolved from the same branch, it takes quite a lot time to evolve, so a certain condition had to have been maintained for a period of time, and if your species are long lived, even longer.

Maybe this was too much science for fantasy, but I thought I'd put out the question since I have always wondered about that when it comes to elves vs. dwarves vs. humans, etc.

 

[euphoneus]

ok, thankyou that definatly helps =D