Run off....

Quadrivium

Quadrivium

Blood Prince of Sunrise
Joined
Oct 29, 2009
Messages
20
Hello,

I have noticed that throughout the workshop (unless I havent looked hard enough) I havent seen any threads about a story that we as a group create and run with so here it goes:
Rules:
1.Each person writes something that run off from the last post
2.Make it interesting (example. if character is on earth he/she can all of a sudden blink and be on the moon.)
3.There will be names but hey it doesnt mean that person cant morph into another (Blake all of a sudden bursts into flames and out of the ashes steps Listen Burger of berkshire...)
Have fun!!

(I am new with writing so I hope this is enjoyable....sounded like a good idea when I started it)

I will start it off with:

On the morning of eveningstar Argon Rockgripper, a Dwarf of unknown origin, stretched his aching muscles and peared at the rolling mountain tops of which the largest he sat upon.
 
To add on so that everyone knows what I am trying to do here the next would summarily go like this:

When he grabbed hold of his axe it exploded into oblivion, staring in disbelief he bellowed "Aargh, me durned axe's gone mad." Getting to his feet he tried to figure out what to do.

(as I've said I am a new writer so if my sentence structure is bad or anything else you might want to tell me about feel free to message me)

I hope everyone enjoys this.
 
He had three heads to chop off before noon, and really didn't want to do it with his dagger. Not that he wouldn't enjoy that, but it was hell to get bloodstains from soft leather, and his mother would kill him if he went home all scarlet.
 
BUT IF YOU LOOK IN THE LOUNGE AT THE FANTASTIC COLLABORATIVE CLICHE NOVEL, YOU'LL SEE THE SAME SORT OF THING. THIS THREAD MAY BE DOOMED TO FAILURE BEFORE IT STARTS, BUT ANYWAY............
(Sorry for the caps, I don't touch type, and only saw it after I'd typed the first line.)

'I'd rather have a full bottle in front of me, than a full frontal lobotomy,' he thought wisely, and stepped off the mountain cliff, the quickest way to get down.
 
(Don't shout, Boney :rolleyes: :p )

Down, as Argon Rockgripper had realised since infancy, was a relative term, and one which was all the more palpable as he landed horizontally on his sleeping uncle, Silas Axfondler The Great.

(These threads come and go but can often live for ages in the meantime
- and are a bundle of fun, to boot ;) )
 
Axfondler was not pleased. In fact, you could go so far as to say Axfondler was dead.

Argon Rockgripper stumbled to his feet, shook his head, then realized he was covered from head to foot in gooey uncle. Rockgripper screamed.

Then he got himself together. He would have to hide the corpse. Better still, make it look like a troll fight. His Uncle would only go to the great warriors hall through fighting to the death, not having some idiot fall upon him. Rockgripper knew Axfondler was condemed to limbo forever now, but there was no reason the whole family should know.

Besides, as the Dwarf who discovered the corpse, he'd get to keep his uncle's axe. All that remained was to find a monster to frame...
 
...When suddenly the goddess of all trolls appeared. She was the ugliest troll Rockgripper had ever seen.

''You short, tiny, microscopic one,'' she said. ''You think I can't hear your nasty thoughts in Troll Heaven? I have had enough of the blasphemy! How dare you call my children monsters?!''
 
"Wow!" exclaimed Rockgripper. "Are all trolls as beautiful as you?"

"I... what did you say?"

"Wasn't talking to you, Gruntfuttock, the babe behind you."

Naturally she turned to look, and Rockgripper used Axfondler's axe to good effect. He knew his uncle would move into Valhalla heaven with the corpse of the goddess as his feet.

He gripped the horn and the blast sounded across the mountains.
 
"Ah, right on cue," thought Argon, a gleeful glint in his eye, a smile wavering and havering on his lips, "A fall-guy."

"I can still hear you," said the Troll Goddess, rolling her eyes heavenward with disdain.

(Darn - not only was I too slow, but I just clicked off my update when I got distracted at work. Damn work!!!! - sorry, guys, just skip past me and I'll come back when it's quieter around here.)
 
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"That was strange" remarked Argon as he realized he went through that scene twice..."well now I have an axe to get back to work." He stated in excitement as he thought of the three headed monster waiting in slumber for him at waters edge."Just have to wait for that clan of my uncles to get here so they see him as a hero." While he waited he realized that his uncles axe was duller than a butter knife."What a disgrace!" exclaimed Argon and he got to work sharpening it.
 
"Mmm, butter," he was thinking as he laboured.

Soon, the first of the Clan Axfondler began to trickle into the arena, at once gaping and gawping at the scene that met them.

"Urp," said Logan the Litiginous. "What's been a-befallin'?"

Argon looked up and immediately lept to his feat - not his feet, that would come later - of explaining the story as he would have it believed. A practiced tear trickled from his blinking eye.

"It was blinking horrible," he said, "horrid, horrible (again) and horrific," he added. "For two whole days and part of the night between them - and then, of course, some of last night and a bit of today - these two were locked in battle, in a grapple for dominance and power, my uncle, the proud and dynamic Silas, and this - this ..."

As he turned to indicate the fallen troll, full prepared to gasp and to weep, to shudder and avert his tragedy-filled eyes, he noticed what the others had been trying to tell him since he had begun his speech.

The uncle was there, right enough, like strawberry jam spilled from a cow-hide basket, but of the troll there was neither trace nor sign nor sight nor any other form of visual evidence whatsoever at all in the slightest ....
 
What Argon hadn't seen as he stumbled off toward the edge of the lake, was that behind him, un-noticed, the shattered pieces of the Troll Goddess had started to hop, skip and jump toward each other. By the time the dwarf was half a mile away, she was back in one lump, and on her feet, swaying slightly unsteadily, and with what can only be described as a splitting headache.

"Curse you, Dwarf!" she muttered. "From today, all Trollkind is your enemy!"

"Now, I need a drink. Sedimentation always makes me thirsty", and with surprising alacrity she hobbled away over the hill.
 
Now in a desperate attempt to fix the situation he screamed aloud "Nooo... It can'o be!"
All the dwarves in attendance looked at Argon dumbfounded.
Logan in his effort to hold in his anger and grief let a profound whistle come out from his backside; in turn causing the dwarf next to him to keel over dead from the noxious fumes.
"What'n the nine hell's is goin on 'er Argon?"Logan finally blurted
"Well...Um...Whats that?" Argon pointed and everyone turned to regard what he was looking at.
 
"Never fails," thought Argon as he turned and ran to hide behind the cliff face.

"What?"

"What is it?

"What are we looking at?"

... and so forth, quoth the various assembled dwarves, their attention arrested by the possibility of seeing something wonderful or amazing or frightening in the direction Argon had indicated.

And so they remained for fifteen full moments before any of them came to the following conclusion:

"Th'r'ain't nuthin' thar," and judging by the speech pattern it was probably Logan.

By now, of course, Argon was several dozen yards away, axe in hand and mind in confusion. Somehow, though the vista beyond had seemed to stretch for miles and miles, as far, in fact, as the distant horizon, he had collided unceremoniously with an invisible barrier which, as the probing of his free hand's digits were in the process of determining, surrounded the area enclosing himself and the gathered clan.

"Goin' somewharrr, Argon?" asked Logan.
 
"Um...well no...not exactly, jus' lookin 'round I saw it fly by and I didnt want you to think me a durn'd gully dwarf so I went to go fetch the thing." Argon stated in exasperation.

"I dun' think so now you come over 'er and tell us what happen'd to yer poor uncle." Logan demanded but as he turned around to go back to the grusome scene a roiling cloud of smoke started to materialize around Silas Axfondler.

"What is the meanin o' this!" Logan shouted in amazement and out popped...
 
... his monocle, which he affected to wear though in fact he had no need of such optical assistance.

The cloud, meanwhile, was gathering around them all, swathing them in its seemingly living tendrils and a voice came to each and all, booming at once as from a great distance while, at the same and measurably exact time, the most intimate closeness.

"I watch, I see," said the voice, "I know and I despair."

"Eh? Um? What?" commented Argon.

"It tickles," noted a child of seven, who would later play a vital and significant role in the unfolding of this potentially wondrous story.

"Urp," intoned Logan the Litigious.

"I feel," continued the voice, "I sense, I know."

"It's all 'me, me, me' with some clouds, isn't it?" said someone who would play no other part in this narrative.

"Oh, I knooooow," responded a respondent.
 
(By way of a subplot, one of the gods of fate had gone and created an alternative timeline yet again, on account of not paying attention to what the other gods of fate had already done, particularly one the priests called Interference. Thus the first G.O.F was condemned to use his powers of editing...)
 
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'AND I SPAM!' said the cloud. All at once a flock of shimmering butterflies appeared, advertising Dwarf-enlargers and various Troll beauty products upon their wings.

At last, here was Argon's chance to win back honour! Or--more likely--buy valuable time in which to dream up excuses. Pulling out his (dead Uncle's) axe, Argon swung frenziedly at the non-corporeal flying insects.

'Erm,' said Logan the Litigious, 'careful with that axe, Argon...'
 
"I'm pink! Therefore I'm spam!" shouted Argon, trying to divert attention away from his uncle's body, or what was left of it. He swung the axe around his head, and it struck the invisible barrier behind him because he couldn't see it. It flew from his hand and disappeared into the cloud, accompanied by a very loud chorus of "Oooooh!" from the crowd. They waited and waited but there was no reciprocal "Aaaaah!", no resounding cannonade, no fusiallade of peppering shots that normally accompanied axe-throwing. Even tiny dwarfs had been known to produce the requisite explosion when throwing their training rubber axes, so something was definitely wrong. They all turned and looked at Argon.
 
"DURN IT ALL TO HELLISH OBLIVION!!" Screamed Argon in outrage.
"How many God forbiddon AXES am I gonn'a lose, I just killed me unc'l f'er that there.
"Logan turned in amazement "You KILLED y'er own kin?" The crown around Argon gasped "Ooh MY"
"You shut y'er mouth Logan you have NO idea!" Argon was fed up with trying to deflect the situation.
"You'd best be givin me leave else ye'll be next...I need a new axe."
Logan drew out his battle axe ready to kill Argon when all of a sudden,</p>
 
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