Punctuation question...

[2ndchance]

Something I am not sure about and hopefully someone will tell me the answer. In the sentence below it says, sooner rather than later, she'd thought. Should it be; 'sooner rather than later,' she'd thought. Or as it is without the quotation marks.

Also does it make a difference because of the, she'd thought, as opposed to she thought. I believe I am right in saying one is past perfect and the other either, past simple or continuous...

I kinda suspect I will get more than one answer.


Because she was still in school, and with a little face saving going on in front of her pals, she’d smiled as if it hadn’t mattered, but inwardly she had planned to get him back, sooner rather than later, she’d thought.

Thanks Steve

 

[Susan Boulton]

I don't think you need, she thought, or she'd thought at all.

If you don't mind, edited the sentence a bit to show...



She was still in school, and with a little face saving going on in front of her pals, she smiled as if it didn't matter, but inwardly she planned to get him back, sooner rather than later.

 

[The Judge]

You're right in saying one is past perfect and one is past simple, Steve. The problem is you're changing tenses earlier in the sentence, which I think is confusing you as to which you need at the end.

I'm not sure whether this face-saving smile is happening as we read it, in which case it should all be in the past simple as SJAB has written it ie

Because she was still in school, and with a little face saving going on in front of her pals, she smiled as if it didn’t mattered, but inwardly she planned to get him back, sooner rather than later, she thought.

or whether it happened earlier (say, yesterday or the day before) and Rebecca is remembering it, in which case it should all be in the past perfect ie

Because she had still been in school, and with a little face saving going on in front of her pals, she’d smiled as if it hadn’t mattered, but inwardly she had planned to get him back, sooner rather than later, she’d thought.

If you are keeping the sentence as you have it, then you need extra punctuation after 'back' since there is a longer pause here than the comma shows - a minimum of a semi-colon, but I'd go for broke with a full stop. I have to say, though, that the sentence is a little ungainly. I tried writing my own version, but my voice is so different from yours that it didn't work as a real example for you. In any event, I agree with SJAB that you don't need 'she['d] thought' at the end and in fact it reads better without it, but in that case for the sake of the rhythm of the sentence you should add 'and' ie "... she planned to get him back, and sooner rather than later."

As to the quotation marks, if it's a specific 'voiced' thought as in "That little *&*%*! I'll get him back." then yes, either inverted commas or italicise it (though not both). If it's just a general idea, like here, then no need to distinguish it.

Incidentally, why 'get him back' and not 'get her own back'?

J

 

[2ndchance]

Thanks Sue, Thanks Jane.

I had messed the begining up. It's funny, sometimes you can miss words out, read it aloud and magic them in, or in this case read it, knowing what your saying and put something else, what. Well I can he-he.
This is what I am going with...

Because it had happened in the school playground with all her pals there, she’d smiled as if it hadn’t mattered. It had mattered, and although she’d been at boiling point, she had chosen to bite her lip, knowing pay-back time would come soon enough. Well, soon enough was now.

Steve

 

[2ndchance]

Actually;
Because it had happened in the school playground with all her pals there, she’d smiled as if it hadn’t mattered. It had mattered, but instead she’d chosen to bite her lip, knowing pay-back time would come soon enough.

Why does it do this???