Email to GRRM, and a reply

[The Imp]

My beloved nephew (whom we will call Patches for the sake of this post) decided to don his motley and worte a "prank" email to GRRM, spoofing the real emails that authors get claiming imminent death in an effort to get story details of yet to be published books. Here is his email with Goerge's response I got a kick out of it.

PS- Patches is the one who talked me in to starting yet ANOTHER unfinished series (after I had sowrn I would never again do so).

Mr. Martin,

I have recently come down with mumps, a nasty cold and avian flu all at once. In addition to that, I have leg cramps, my nose has grown to eight times its normal size, and cannot breathe out unless I punch my own sternum - making sleep impossible. To make matters worse, my cat has chicken pox, my dog no longer respects me and my hamsters refuse to breed. Did I mention that my favorite NFL team is the Detroit Lions and I was run over by 3 consecutive buses yesterday?

Anyway - you probably get stories of woe all the time (although I left out lots of stuff, like the elephants that escaped from the zoo and made fun of me). However, I believe I am a special case. The doctors probably say I have between seconds and decades to live. Hang on... I'm choking on a glass of water.......... okay... better now, hopefully I can hold off my demise before I finish this email...

I was wondering, given my special circumstances and the fact that a meteor could strike me down at any moment, I think it's only fair to send me your latest manuscript for A Dance with Dragons.............

..... Sorry for the interruption... A condor just chased a deer into my condo... Anyway, I should probably go...

Your appeal touched my heart. I shipped off the manuscript of A DANCE WITH DRAGONS at once.
Unfortunately, FedEx has now informed me that the plane carrying the book to you crashed and burned.
What's worse, it was my only copy!!! Now I must start the novel all over again...

--
George R.R. Martin

 

[Culhwch]

That's good value, Imp. Thanks for sharing!

 

[Pyan]

Show's he still has a sense of humour on the topic, anyway.


You realise that you'll get the moaners complaining that while he's answering emails like this, he's not working on ADWD...

 

[TheEndIsNigh]

Well I think it is disgraceful.

Imp: You should go round there and give your nephew a damn good thrashing then he'll really have something to write to this fellow about.

The poor soul is just trying to earn an honest crust. Distractions such as those imposed by your nephew could have a terrible effect on the quality of the man's work. I wouldn't wonder if he had days following this tragic story of woe where he couldn't do anything for worry and guilt that your nephew's demise. No doubt his failure to use adequate transport methods will play on his mind for years to come.

Of course I'm sorry for your nephew. I'm not some cold fish that has no feelings for another's plight but is it fair that he disturb the rest of us in this manner.

Authors have enough to do in the short time we all have left so let's try and stamp this kind of thing out.

TEiN

 

[Ursa major]

Well we now know where the fire in A Song of Ice and Fire comes in.

(And I expect icing on the wings was the original cause of the crash, completing the puzzle.)



And we got the promised bittersweet ending: the book was finished but is now no more.

 

[Quick Ben]

OMG NOW GRRM HAS TO START ALL OVER AGAIN!!!

MAN I AM SO PISSED OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

STUPID PLANE PILOT COULDN'T EVEN DRIVE PLANE PROPERLY!!!

WHAT A SICK FREAKING JOKE!!111!!!SHIFTONE11!!!

[/meltdown]

 

[Lady of Winterfell]

That's great Imp, Thanks for sharing!

 

[Dornish First Sword]

Great to see he understands his fans and can still joke about the situation, also great to see that some fans still have a sense of humour about the whole thing and aren't expecting unreasonable things from the man.

 

[Rahl Windsong]

Seriously the book will not be done until George says its done. I see this exact same thing in game development all the time. The developer sets up a forum and the main topic on that forum is always, "when will the game be released?" And the moaning and crying is all in there from the frustrated gaming fans who think they should get a personal phone call with an invitation to help in beta or even design the game for them.

Anyway I think it is great to see GRRM replying to an email like that with the same humor it was sent in, he must be going through a lot of difficulties getting the next book in the series out and if he gets to laugh once in a while about those difficulties, that can only be a good thing for his state of mind as he continues to finish the book up. Thanks for sharing!

 

[The Imp]

I should have said this in my OP. Patches (my nephew) is a software engineer by profession but also is a writer. He is currently finishing a THIRD rewrite of his first book I've come to believe that he's going to announce that he's done on the day that GRRM announces that HE'S done. SHaring the spotlight and stuff