Sneaky professions akin to a used car salesman

Xelah

Xelah

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So I've got a slight dilema. I can't think of anything else that's quite as underhanded, except lawyer, but that one is out from the word go. This isn't attached to any current writing project, but I'd like to finish anyway.

A character has a dream where he gets invited to a poker game by a trickster deity from Native American lore. Prior to going to the game, the pair stop by the deity's place in the heavens. To the main character, the place looks like a used car lot, as does the guy next door's place. The guy next door is a trickster deity from Chinese lore, who is also going to the game.

Upon arrival, the main character notices that all of the other players are gods of mischief or trickery from one pantheon or another. I'd like to flesh out the other players a little, but I can't think of anything other than a used car salesman for the other gods to have as their day job as perceived by the main character.

Something about making them all used car salesmen strikes me as wrong somehow. Maybe it's sympathy for that one honest used car salesman... wherever he is. Or maybe it's me knowing that there is a huge portion of the sleazebucket demographic that I'm ignoring here.

Penny for your thoughts?
 
I just had a thought, but this might just be me being cynical.

Literary Agent.
 
Well any profession attracts it's fair share of crooks but for comedy value I've gone with the following:

Game Show host. "Is that your final answer?"
Real Estate Agent. "This price is a real steal"
Spin Doctor/Political Advisor. "A good day to bury bad news"
 
Boneman said:
Chiropracter. Plastic surgeon. Film Producer. Taxman. Customs.
Click to expand...

As an ex Revenue employee I mildly resent being grouped with used car sales men, but I would include Accountants and Financial advisors. Some of them do a very good job, but a lot it seemed were money for old rope.
 
Well there's the old favourites.

Casino manager. (Obviously this is now out of date and no inference to the character of the current fine crop of addiction management consultants should be drawn)

Con merchants in general (his gaff could be filled with the deeds to many famous location/valuables you could even have him try and use the Eiffel tower as a gambling chip)

Porn Brokers (of every persuasion)

Mechanics - cars for instance.

Debt collectors/ bailiffs

Madam. (as in you get what you pay for)

Genie (three wish types)

"Genuine" Antique dealers
 
Market Stall Traders (selling dodgy goods off the back of a lorry)
Waste management (as in the mafia)
Bank Managers
Loan sharks
Creditors
Policemen (in certain climes, India for example)
Pawn Brokers (as mentioned above)
Mobile Phone Companies
Tabloid paper editors

And many many more :)
 
Vladd67 said:
As an ex Revenue employee I mildly resent being grouped with used car sales men, but I would include Accountants and Financial advisors. Some of them do a very good job, but a lot it seemed were money for old rope.
Click to expand...


I spent 2 years in the Revenue, m'self... One I forgot to put on the list is so obvious - Politician!! Vladd, I hope you weren't one of those as well? Apologies if you were...
 
So I've got a slight dilema. I can't think of anything else that's quite as underhanded, except lawyer, but that one is out from the word go. This isn't attached to any current writing project, but I'd like to finish anyway.
Click to expand...

So called "New Age" so called "healers".

Regards,

Peter
 
I'd add that peculiarly twisted subset of "politician", the town or city councillor...
 
Leader of the NDP.


Seriously. Do it. I will be your best friend.

Corporate Executive.
Bank Manager
A Plumber (They always lie to me)
Politician is always good.
Someone who makes infomercials.
New Age Healer (Do it)

That's all I can think of...
 
Thanks everyone, this has been a great help.


@RG

It'd help if I knew what the NDP was... and if you do the plumbing yourself, you don't have to shell out the $45/hour.
 
The NDP is a political party in Canada. It's leader looks like used car salesman...I was making a joke...to myself...
 
Based on my recent experience, I'd definitely say Real Estate Agent.

Also Journalist, eBay merchant, Chairman of the Federal Reserve, heiress, etc.
 
Politician, Telephone/Internet Service seller, pretty much anyone trying to sell you anything...bankers...(not tellers, the bankers)....furniture salesman, real estate agents, house financing agents.....

Anyone who profits from misleading fits the bill.
 
Have it turn out that one of the Tricksters is really a famous stand-up comedian, or comic actor. Just think, Robin Williams really has phenomenal cosmic power, or Simon Pegg, or Sasha Baron Cohen. Just because someone is a trickster god, doesn't mean that they would look or act like a used car salesman. Hell, I could see Raven being a stogy college professor, because many trickster gods where also gods of wisdom.
 
Winter Lord said:
Have it turn out that one of the Tricksters is really a famous stand-up comedian, or comic actor. Just think, Robin Williams really has phenomenal cosmic power, or Simon Pegg, or Sasha Baron Cohen. Just because someone is a trickster god, doesn't mean that they would look or act like a used car salesman. Hell, I could see Raven being a stogy college professor, because many trickster gods where also gods of wisdom.
Click to expand...

Although I suspect that the Norse equivalent might be more low-key. :rolleyes::)


We're dealing with tricksters. They aren't going to take on the personas of stereotypical shysters. That wouldn't involve trickery. (It would, rather, involve stupidity.) I mean, how good would a con-man be if he made people distrustful of him?

I think the phrase "if you can fake sincerity, you've got it made" covers this.
 
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