HI, please reveiw the following short scene. I wrote this in one sitting, did not fix anything. I want to share and see if i have any chance at being a writer. I have an active imagination and have epic stories filling my head. One day i decided to stop being a chicken and started writing the following.
The ground was damp and made Kirea’s feet feel funny as she moved slowly to the middle of the arena. She could hear them now getting louder, it had started as a dull rumble and escalated until the voices and banging had reached a defining roar. “Kill the bitch” she heard someone scream. At the same moment there was a loud crash as one of the long wooden bench’s had broken and threw a group of young men who had been using it as a launching pad to jump up and down upon. They fell into a ball of tangled limbs and rolled fitfully into the people sitting in front of them. But no one seemed to pay any attention to them as everyone was intently watching the large bald man walk purposely to the center of the arena. He was ripped with muscle from head to toe, his black leather vest stretched across his tan skin. Kirea must have looked like a small child in comparison. He moved with the ease of a man half his size. Part of his face was covered in the sacred art of the Inewi. The markings were those of a tiger, the stripes starting above his left eye and following down the side of his face. Kirea realized that the markings represented the number of foes he had defeated in sacred combat. As he neared the center he stopped for a short moment and slowly turned his head into the direction of the Lord of the Seven Suns, he than lifted both arms to the sky and gave a fierce cry that sounded much like the wild fang cats Kirea used to hunt back on devils isle. With that the crowd went berserk and began yelling even louder if that was possible. Kirea focused intently trying to block out all the noise and distracting movements from the crowd as they waved their hands. She knew she wouldn’t be getting any second chance at this. The deafening sounds and thundering bangs began to melt away as the only thing she was conscious of was the large Inewi warrior standing not 15 paces in front of her. She locked her eyes on to the eyes of her enemy. She knew that she was an unknown and that he may not perceive her as a real threat, this was something she could use to her advantage. Her breathing became rhythmical as she fell into a state where time seamed to stand still. A solid yellow line stretched from her right hand into the empty void of space between her and her target. The yellow line continued straight forward in what seemed to be a path that stopped a few feat in front of the man but then danced over him in a large arc and curving around until it landed right on the back of his large head. She felt the cold rough texture of her blade against her fingers, it felt so light that if she let it go it may float away. The physical world seemed to give way, the only thing Kirea was aware of was the pounding of her heart in her ears, and the smell of his musk in her nose. She leapt forward following the yellow line and instantly felt better as she noticed a look of confusion cross his face as she sped toward him. He had never seen anyone move so quickly. He began to lower himself to brace for the impact, but it never came as Kirea followed the line and launched her body forward into a leaping front flip that seemed so effortlessly as if the yellow line had possessed her and was pulling her along. As she flipped through the air above her foe she brought her knife down hard. The Inewi warrior jerked his head up just as Kireas blade bit into the back of his skull. She landed on the ground crouching like a cat never looking back. There was silence then the thud of the large mans body striking the ground.
The ground was damp and made Kirea’s feet feel funny as she moved slowly to the middle of the arena. She could hear them now getting louder, it had started as a dull rumble and escalated until the voices and banging had reached a defining roar. “Kill the bitch” she heard someone scream. At the same moment there was a loud crash as one of the long wooden bench’s had broken and threw a group of young men who had been using it as a launching pad to jump up and down upon. They fell into a ball of tangled limbs and rolled fitfully into the people sitting in front of them. But no one seemed to pay any attention to them as everyone was intently watching the large bald man walk purposely to the center of the arena. He was ripped with muscle from head to toe, his black leather vest stretched across his tan skin. Kirea must have looked like a small child in comparison. He moved with the ease of a man half his size. Part of his face was covered in the sacred art of the Inewi. The markings were those of a tiger, the stripes starting above his left eye and following down the side of his face. Kirea realized that the markings represented the number of foes he had defeated in sacred combat. As he neared the center he stopped for a short moment and slowly turned his head into the direction of the Lord of the Seven Suns, he than lifted both arms to the sky and gave a fierce cry that sounded much like the wild fang cats Kirea used to hunt back on devils isle. With that the crowd went berserk and began yelling even louder if that was possible. Kirea focused intently trying to block out all the noise and distracting movements from the crowd as they waved their hands. She knew she wouldn’t be getting any second chance at this. The deafening sounds and thundering bangs began to melt away as the only thing she was conscious of was the large Inewi warrior standing not 15 paces in front of her. She locked her eyes on to the eyes of her enemy. She knew that she was an unknown and that he may not perceive her as a real threat, this was something she could use to her advantage. Her breathing became rhythmical as she fell into a state where time seamed to stand still. A solid yellow line stretched from her right hand into the empty void of space between her and her target. The yellow line continued straight forward in what seemed to be a path that stopped a few feat in front of the man but then danced over him in a large arc and curving around until it landed right on the back of his large head. She felt the cold rough texture of her blade against her fingers, it felt so light that if she let it go it may float away. The physical world seemed to give way, the only thing Kirea was aware of was the pounding of her heart in her ears, and the smell of his musk in her nose. She leapt forward following the yellow line and instantly felt better as she noticed a look of confusion cross his face as she sped toward him. He had never seen anyone move so quickly. He began to lower himself to brace for the impact, but it never came as Kirea followed the line and launched her body forward into a leaping front flip that seemed so effortlessly as if the yellow line had possessed her and was pulling her along. As she flipped through the air above her foe she brought her knife down hard. The Inewi warrior jerked his head up just as Kireas blade bit into the back of his skull. She landed on the ground crouching like a cat never looking back. There was silence then the thud of the large mans body striking the ground.
