Starting afresh on a story

[Tales]

The martian story was a collab project with another friend of mine.

Now I feel that it's time to revive one of my stories which I just clicked a reset button. Refreshing it hopefully with newer more realistic ideas.

Main gist: Basically the skeleton of the story is around environmental issues only to be aggravated by the discovery of new species evolving on Earth in isolation. But however as the environmental calamities get severe, even the pristine habitat where the species lived get compromised and things get very ugly. And the pleas of environmental organization go unheard becos this is an era where environmentalism is regarded as terrorism.

 

[The Judge]

Not sure this is a workshop matter. Not sure whether or not you want any help, come to that.

You seem to have a plot lined up which is all to the good. Have you worked out who your protagonist is, and what conflicts she faces? Presumably you will be pushing the environmentalism=good, materialism=bad line, which is pretty much a given nowadays, but remember that your readers don't want to be preached at whether or not they agree with your thesis, they want to be engaged by characters and conflict.

Good luck with it anyway.

 

[Tales]

This is workshop material becos there's the science to contend with and the character development as well.

I am dun plan to conjure something with too much scientific inaccuracy or a bad story.

Ok here's what happened. This are recycling from old ideas until a hard science guy called Moderan shot them all down.

The species are mammalian specifically rodent, they are very much your typical mammal, warm blooded with body forms of different kinds. But they are not sentient but still relatively as smart as lower primates like monkeys. These species evolved on an undiscovered island which was discovered by US in WW2 and kept top secret.

The settings is around the time of 2012 to 2020s. The world population has ballooned from today's 6 Billion to 10 billion, stressing on the resources on Earth. NASA is going no where with their space program. Countries are having big conflicts. And on the civilian level, there's climate change to contend with. Also environmentalists are trying to protect the last pockets of nature.

As the old saying goes, a hungry man is an angry man. Environmentalist claims are starting to be ignored by politicians. In an attempt to protect the environment, [today radical environmentalists respect human life and thus only attack properties.] radical environmentalists are attacking humans like the Al Qaeda in an attempt they claim to save the planet. One of the incidents was in China just 2 years from the storyline and that changed the way people and their govts see environmentalism. Needed to be CIA monitored or something.

The first story under planing before moderan shot it down was set in my own country, Singapore. Becos it has one of the strictest laws and high security, it protected against most human-based threats. However when it comes to invasive species, they dun have the correct experience. I believe in the US I heard that the policemen come in contact with wildlife sometimes right? But here in Singapore, the police have to pass the buck to environmental govt agencies.etc. Something like they call this and that call that.etc One big loop. So when in a time where those environmental agencies are a bit mistrusted, guess the result.

Also I have to explain that ever since 100 years ago in my country, Singapore has not seen another large mammal or animal ever since. The humans are like "island naive" to large animals and dunno how to react. who to call if something like this happens. This will be a big source of jokes and even conflict.

I will elaborate on the first story characters on the next reply.

 

[The Judge]

Tales, no need to elaborate on anything for our benefit. The point I was making is that you need to be aware of your characters and their conflicts. If you are, that's fine.

If you're wanting help/comments on the environmental stuff, perhaps it might help the scientists if you raise the issues which are concerning you.

 

[Tales]

Gimme some time to sort out the mess, I thrown my old drafts in anger after some guy said that my story was too unbelievable.

 

[chrispenycate]

Don't ever junk old drafts. Unbelievable is largely in how it is written.

And don't believe that even now there aren't 'ecological' extremists who kill people, or at least make it likely for people to die. In one of my worlds I've set ecoterrorists as the bad guys – doing more direct harm to the environment than their actions prevent, and intending to reduce human population on the planet by eighty to ninety percent; all from the best of motives, evidently.

On the other hand, evolution only goes fast (less than a million generations) under severe pressures, so for a new species to be evolving there would have had to be some pretty spectacular environmental changes, and a really high, r factor birth rate. (Mammals are generally k strategists relative to, say, insects or fish.)

And discovering a new species, well adapted to its environment but suffering from that environment's mutation is not SF; it's a regular occurrence. Which doesn't mean you shouldn't write about it; if the story can stand without rapidly changing organisms, see where it takes you. We'll find hooks to suspend the disbelief from.

 

[Tales]

Spoiler

The lack of expertise is obvious (so is the hubris). The rodent story is your first attempt at a novel. The Mars (collaborative) story is your second. Before you go out to knock the world on its ear and astonish us all with your abilities, perhaps you should refine the basics.
Nathan Brazil and I have both said repeatedly that your ideas will stem from your research. That doesn't mean mining other works for their ideas and then repeating them parrot-fashion. It means developing ones of your own, through searching out data and considering the implications of such data.
Many apologies, but I have yet to see any evidence that you do so. You're perfectly content to let others do the thinking for you.
My belief that you're a couple of high schoolers trying to write the next great classic sf novel still stands.

I really feel like giving up especially after someone posts something like this....

 

[Teresa Edgerton]

But this part

...your ideas will stem from your research ... It means developing ones of your own, through searching out data and considering the implications of such data.

is very good advice.

It is always best to familiarize yourself with a subject and then develop story ideas that arise in the course of your research. Not that everyone does it that way, but it is an approach that is far more likely to work than any other.

 

[Tales]

Actually the guy would said this accused me of mining other works rather than research. In fact, I go to science forums more often than Star Trek. The only bad thing is some of the science articles online are not trustworthy like Wikipedia.

But BBT.

So far the implications of my research for this story stems from modern day and the effects of man's actions. If you know about how invasive species can affect daily lives, you will love this tale of mine. And the focus on environmentalism also hides a dark side not many environmental organizations have touched.

 

[The Judge]

It's hard for me to comment on the environmental bits, since I write characters not ideas, and science and I have an agreement to leave each other well alone. But the fact is that if you are writing a techno-novel, or one where The Big Idea is uppermost, then you have to do real research. And that involves more than simply reading around a few science forums. You have to immerse yourself in it until it is second nature and you understand all the implications in the way Chris has.

But even that isn't enough. A person can be highly intelligent, can be the most gifted scientist ever, and still not be able to create a work which moves the reader. People will not love your tale because you have explained how invasive species can affect daily lives. They will love it if you tell a story which has plot, characters, action, conflict, all written in good prose with believable dialogue. Can you do that? If so, good. If not, then stop for a moment and think about developing the necessary skills to do so.

 

[Tales]

Oh I see....

But however, my story will not just put the blame on the species. In fact, one character points out many times that this was in fact the fault of humans rather than the animals themselves. in fact later the characters may have to pay a visit to the island where these species are the natives and we are the invasive species. A Yin and Yang reverse of the situation is what separates the first story and the second.

In my research, at first I thought that with environmental laws in place, one might think that invasive species are less of a problem. But it turns out I have only "scratched the surface of Mars".

Just last year, Red back spider from Australia end up in Japan. And how snakeheads which are just on my dinner table a while ago end up in the US. Along with chinese Mitten crabs which are highly priced her in Asia, are found in US? O_O

It's totally amazing how can something like this happen.

So I think it's believable that even my fictional species can end up on my home country who is said to have one of the most highly secure countries in Asia.

 

[Tales]

However I will try my best to portray this with the most suspense but evoke the right emotions.

 

[chrispenycate]

Don't let anyone tell you this is going to be easy; it isn't. Only partly because English is not your first language. (Yes, I can feel that. And I don't even know what your first language is – Malay? Nesa would know.) But, rather than doing all the preparation in advance (and having to prepare more when you get to writing the story, anyway; it's always like that), write a lump, polish it up as well as you can, and post it on critiques. I'll doubtless shoot holes in your science and grammar, while others will rip at your style, slash your characterisation and dialogue; all to help you produce the best you can. There is no malice in this blunderland.

So don't let yourself be discouraged by negative comments. When you start contacting more people, the one which you pasted will seem relatively mild. I'm not saying perseverance will guarantee success; that's for self help books and 'lived happily ever after' endings. But giving up does sort of guarantee failure.

I apparently misread your 'evolved' comment, so ignore the comments I made there. And it's not just food species that get transported; attempts at biological control (mongooses, amphibians), nostalgia for home (rabbits, feral cats) even inadequate security (South American bloodsucking bugs in India, rats and mice all over the place).

We all know the story intellectually; now you need to make us feel it. Which means characters we can empathise with (even if they're small and furry), situations we can move into and experience…

Make us live it.

 

[Tales]

Guess my home country... it's the continent where search results are censored. So the fact that I cannot access to science material is not entirely my fault.

 

[Precise Calibre]

Have you ever tried using a proxy to access the net with? Or perhaps a non-mainstream search engine?

 

[Tales]

What's a proxy? Either it's my connection or really they censored some sites.

Btw, it's not like I never went to search out the materials, I actively go the library 3 times a week. But sometimes the references can be limited. Like say going to Mars or rodents as a subject. some are for 6 graders. But some very complex but mostly words. But all of these are very limited.

Solar sailing concepts was found out only by luck. But good thing they never censored rodents for this tale...

 

[Teresa Edgerton]

Sometimes children's books can be very helpful, though. They'll define some of the terms that make the more scholarly books hard to follow, and give details that adult books skip over as unimportant, but which are, in fact, useful for writers.

 

[Tales]

Thanks Teresa...

After reading Robert Mckee's book, Story, I am getting some idea that I might have been led astray....

Now lemme look back at the mess I have first.

 

[Tales]

"When talented people write well, it is generally for this reason: They’re moved by a desire to touch the audience. "

Robert Mckee

Sorry if I can't change the text size....

I have been wondering was the motivation to write this fiction wrong in the first place?

What do your guys think? Have I gone a wrong road writing stories that no one will feel for. It's impossible for someone to feel for a rodent that has the power destroy ecosystems? How could I generate sympathy....?

 

[chrispenycate]

Easy to generate sympathy for a furry little creature. Read Watership Down, then read about the disaster rabbits have been in Australia. Your villains are cute, cuddly, loveable – and ultimately devastating. Giant ants are scary; something that sits up on its hind legs and strokes its whiskers is charming. Much more difficult to build a popular profile for Godzilla, even if he did (um, perhaps she did? Has anyone checked the gender of Godzilla?) demolish Tokyo.

Your ecology movement depends very heavily on sympathy votes; slaughtering attractive little beasts will not go down well with these people, however essential the action is.

Can you eat them? (The rodents, that is, not the voters) As they are warm weather creatures, I assume they're useless for fur coats?