Looking for help in proofing

[ASparrow]

LETHE is an indie novel that will likely be made available for free, once its ready for full release. Even though it will likely be free, I'm still concerned about its quality but I've gone over it so often that I've become blind to my own errors. I know they're there, lurking.

I would appreciate anyone who could give it a quick scan for any blatant errors, inconsistencies, etc.

Thanks!

I've made it available to Beta readers for the next few days at:

Smashwords - Lethe - A book by A. Sparrow

Thanks in advance!

 

[The Judge]

I did try and have a look, but I couldn't connect up to it for some reason.

I see you attempted to put something on the critiques forum earlier. Why don't you have another go? You won't be able to post as much as a whole chapter, let alone the whole thing, but if we see no errors in the short extract, it might reassure you that the rest is by and large OK at least for grammatical and spelling mistakes. If on the other hand we find several things which need to be corrected, you might be best advised to leave put the whole book aside for a couple of months and then come back to it with a fresh eye.

 

[The Judge]

I had another attempt and managed to get through this time.

It's a bit florid for my taste -- I'm quite a spartan writer -- but I read the first 10 pages or so, and nothing jumped out at me grammar-wise, so that's one anxiety you can cross off your list! I'll leave it for others, for whom this style is more congenial, to read more and give you feedback about inconsistencies and the like. In the meantime, you've got some nice imagery and word use, and what looks to be a clever idea. Good luck with it.

 

[Boneman]

'k, I read the first 100 pages, and I would say that your grammar and syntax are spot-on. I couldn't see any blatant errors at all, was a little confused that Sabonis didn't ask him for news of the USA, but then went 'Doh!' when I realised that was just a ruse so he could stay close to Dan.
I agree with The Judge, it is a great idea, orpheus and the underworld undertones, but I did tire of the time it took to get to the action - once the scene was set it just seemed repetitious in the journey, and I have to admit to skipping pages - they come up very small, so I guess if it were a book, I'd scan down the page more easily.

I guess I'd have Dan less accepting of the female body, more shock/horror/fascination, to fix us in the character - the flash backs and forwards were a little off-putting - once we establish Dan was 'dead', and the relationship with Gina, I found I didn't want to know any more, just wanted to stay with the character and see what happened.

But well done for completeing the whole book. If I get time, I'll go back and read some more. Your writing standard seems really good, I assume you've tried to get this accepted mainstream?