Help with ideas on a sci-fi story

[Malkiz]

Hello,
I'm currently writing the plot for a sci-fi story. It still didn't take the form of something I can show to readers, but I'm pretty sure I'll make a webcomic out of it.

Anyways, I have quite a lot of plot already, but now I have decided that an important part in the beginning of my story sounds off, and I want to re-write it.

The story takes place in a futuristic sci-fi world. It has advanced technology, but any form of aircraft is forbidden, including space travel. The entire world is currently at peace (but that's only superficial). There are no aliens or anything like that. Just a futuristic society.
The story begins with two of my main characters "landing" on the planet from another dimension. There is absolutely no knowledge of other dimensions on this planet. Not even now, because no one saw the two when they landed. No one knows they are from another dimension.
Also, these two characters have no prior knowledge of this planet. They are supposed to have "spy-like" skills (I don't know too much about actual spies). They have a mission - to find an individual that lives on this planet. They do not know the identity of the person they are looking for, but they will be able to recognize him due to certain unique characteristics if they ever see him. Their target doesn't know he's being hunted, but he is hidden well for other reasons.

My problem is thinking of what to have them do in the very beginning. What do they do after they land on this planet? They obviously need to learn a little bit about the planet itself, the regiment, culture, history, etc... but having them go to read about it at a public library doesn't sound very interesting.

I already have plenty written after the beginning itself. But obviously I can't skip the beginning.

I'm sorry if my description is ambiguous, telling the entire background story of this planet or my characters seems too much for a forum post. If you have any general questions you want me to answer about the story please ask.

Thanks for your ideas in advance
Malkiz

 

[The Judge]

Hello, there. Welcome in, and if you haven't done so already, go and introduce yourself in Introductions and you can be welcomed officially by the usual oddballs.

Anyway, I think you're right that your other-dimension people will have to learn very quickly about Earth, or at least about that part of Earth on which they find themselves, otherwise they will stick out like a giraffe at a dog show. Frankly, though, I'd suggest you allow them to have gleaned at least some information before they come. After all, they must know whether we have four arms or two heads.

But if for whatever reason you can't have them knowing anything, then personally, I think finding a library and reading up about humans is likely to be the least worry on their minds. Imagine yourself being instantly transplanted to Chaucer's England, or to the kingdom of Cuzco in Peru, and think of all the problems you would face. OK, your aliens in 21st-century-wherever might not risk death for wearing strange clothes and being wholly unable to speak the language -- any language -- but there's a real possibility they'll be picked up by officials as illegal immigrants. Again, imagine a real life immigrant landing in a big unfamiliar city after being dumped by human traffickers, and make your aliens go through that kind of day -- a whole lot less boring than the library!

 

[ctg]

Well, the first problem I have is with your futuristic setting where all the air and space travel are forbidden. So, what I think is that you need to limit your world in such a way that it is really obvious to the reader that they cannot go flying even though it would be possible. Therefore, I think your option in this to build your world upon such a place that a) it has no land mass, just water, or b) the space aliens or even human have left orbital cannons, that doesn't allow any sort of things to get into the air without them being shot down in the moments notice.

Another problem I have is with your another 'dimension', as in to some people dimension means just that when to other people an alternative dimension can mean something mystical, while some people think that as an alternative time-line (a parallel world).

So, as you start your story think about the situation and the character, and then make the magic to happen. Make it as plausible as you can if you write hard sci-fi but if you want to write fantasy then use spells. Then, think about where that situation leads and so on...

 

[chrispenycate]

"You haven't stated" says one of the usu – just a minute, who's accusing me of being 'usual'? I warrant at least an 'eceptional' oddball, yer honour.

Right. You haven't said whether this is the first cross-continuum voyage for your visitors, a rare occurrence, or a society that has been doing this for some time?

If they've been doing it in secret, try reading Jack Chalker's GOD Inc stories; a sort of trans-dimensional mafia. Or visit my universe in http://www.sffchronicles.co.uk/forum/46934-collaborative-writing-project-re-start.html , where I maintain conservation of mass between continua.

Judge, it might not be possible to build an unmanned drone to investigate the place you're going to visit, and get it back, even it you'd been hopping worlds for some time collecting technology from all over. But you are likely to have a good idea which points on the planet are likely to be heavily populated, as long as geography holds relatively constant, so you can turn up in probably wilderness areas to start your survey.

If you're the first people to cross, or the crossing is unplanned or totally accidental, pehaps read Sawyer's "Hominids"; a Neanderthal crossing into our Earth, slightly less paranoid than your aircraft-rejecting one, I suspect.

And add Heinlein's "the number of the beast".

 

[GreenKidx]

Well, as far as I can see you already have answer laid out. You want the two travelers to be fairly ignorant of local customs, norms and what not when they arrive. You want a way for them to learn said customs and norms and maintain excitement/reader interest. As you have already mentioned these two will have "spy like" skills, so I say use that. Throw them into this new world with no supplies and have them set right to work stealing money, food, clothes even identities. They can trail random locals, avoid being seen, and eventually get caught out by local authorities with no ID papers. I think if cleverly writen could introduce your guys and world perfectly.

Another idea that occurred to me is to have an actual person who plays scout for them. Travel to these other worlds/dimensions first, living among the people learning the language and customs and hording essential supplies. Upon their arrival this scout would give them a rapid fire course in "how to be an earthling in 2100ad" or some such. Quick, easy and versatile. When he is done, scout slips off to another world.

 

[Parson]

The other thing that occurs to me is that it is not definite that an inter-dimensional jump would leave the two spies completely ignorant. At least some dimensional theories theorize an infinite number of dimensions, and the one they are popping into might only have a few surprising and significant changes. Enough so that they might become over confident in their knowledge and occasionally completely flummoxed. This would ease the necessity to learn an almost infinite amount of material in relatively no time.

 

[Malkiz]

Thank you all for your (fast!) replies

@The Judge:
Prior knowledge of this dimension is absolutely out of the question. The "rules of nature" which I have set for my multi-verse, combined with the background story of my travelers, make it impossible.
However, there are a few ground rules that can help them: they know for certain that they are going to meet humans. Aliens have been proven to be non-existent in any and all dimensions.

The language however can be a big issue. I want my travelers to be able to learn it fairly quickly, but still have certain languages along the story which they will not understand. I consider these options: 1) equip them with technology that syncs to the dominant language on the planet, 2) technology which can only sync to a small number of languages, in the order they came across these languages, or 3) name certain languages very similar to each other and have technology which only syncs with similar languages to the native language of my travelers.

I already have a clash with the authorities planned for them in the future, but I don't want it to happen right on the start. I want them to see the outside world and everyday lives of the general society there. Make some acquaintances, gather some general knowledge about the culture, and only then throw them into trouble.


@ctg:
Don't worry about the air travel, I already have that covered. From the way the world is built it is very prominent that there can be no air travel, even though the technology itself can allow it.

When I say "another dimension" I mean it sort of like in classic Sci-Fi stories. The only difference is that I set very defined "rules of physics" for my multi-verse. The main implications of these rules are: 1) Most people in most dimensions don't know there are other dimensions. 2) In order to jump between dimensions you do not use special technology, but rather a special form of meditation which you have to learn and master. This prevents normal people from accidentally travelling. 3) Jumping to another dimension causes the person to lose all of his memories. Wiped clean. However, my travelers have a technology implanted in their brains which prevents this memory loss from happening. 4) You cannot take anything with you when you cross dimensions. Only your own bare body (including the brain implant).

It's going to be a "hard sci-fi" story as you called it. No magic or spells. Only advanced technology.


@chrispenycate:
My travelers come from a society that is doing these voyages secretly. They have a certain goal with each voyage.
The two characters are a young man, mid 20's, that has been doing this for a few years now and is fairly experienced, and an older man, mid 50's, that this is his first voyage of this kind.

You are correct to assume they do know where in general to land on their arrival. They aim to areas with large population, in order to ensure survival means and ability to hide in the crowd if necessary.


@GreenKidx:
Yes I thought about that. But as this is my first time writing a "big" story, I find it hard to make that work. I mean, once the plot is set in motion and my travelers meet the correct people, everything flows nicely. But the beginning is hard...

A scout is out of the question. They don't have time to waste on waiting for a scout to do his job, not to mention the man-power.


@Parson
That's a great idea. Thanks


Thanks again everyone. If you have further input, I'll be glad to hear it.
Malkiz

 

[GreenKidx]

Humm... its a tough one. You want something interesting and functional to start your novel but all the practical solutions are either semi prohibited by the physics in your world or are already planned for later in the tale. Well I vote just skip the "begining". Just go straight for the start of the action.

One question. They know enough of this other world to track specific people and places, but all other knowledge is inaccessible to them? This is a highly important mission across dimensions but the dont alot time to adjust/learn? How big is the operation they were sent by? How important is this mission? Why is there such a time crunch? Wouldn't a language translating device need to be pre-programed with at least part of the language?

I'm agreeing with Parsons on this one. You be better off making this world very similar to the one they left.

 

[Malkiz]

Humm... its a tough one. You want something interesting and functional to start your novel but all the practical solutions are either semi prohibited by the physics in your world or are already planned for later in the tale. Well I vote just skip the "begining". Just go straight for the start of the action.

One question. They know enough of this other world to track specific people and places, but all other knowledge is inaccessible to them? This is a highly important mission across dimensions but the dont alot time to adjust/learn? How big is the operation they were sent by? How important is this mission? Why is there such a time crunch? Wouldn't a language translating device need to be pre-programed with at least part of the language?

I'm agreeing with Parsons on this one. You be better off making this world very similar to the one they left.

Hah I am complicated like that. I like the hard problems... they have a way of making you feel so much better when you finally solve them.


Maybe I didn't make myself clear enough.
As spectators from outside the dimension, they can only see where there are masses of population (sort of like looking through heat goggles to know where it is hotter, but without knowledge of what's actually there) and where it is safe to land (so they won't land on the middle of a railroad).
All other knowledge is inaccessible to them until they actually cross over to this dimension.

This mission is crucial for achieving the grand goal of their secret society.
I haven't quite figured out how big their operation is yet, but I think it would have to be a few thousand people. However, actual "operational agents" that go on missions are very rare among them. Most of the others don't cross dimensions.

Okay, about the time crunch: the success of the grand goal depends on killing several targets (a few dosens) which reside in multiple universes. Once they start killing the first few, the system quickly repairs itself by giving new people these special characteristics of these targets. So they are basically in a race against time to kill all of these targets before any new ones can come to be.
The language translating device would be prepared before they start off, so it's possible that it's there.

 

[Jake Reynolds]

Okay, a few thoughts-

1. Language translation devices = yuck. Hate them, and I think they're all too often employed because writers can't be bothered with the 'boring' parts. I've said it many times before- how many meanings do our swear words have?

2. Assume advances in technology that have grown from our current society. It seems entirely possible (likely, even, given the strict security on travel) that there would be retinal or dna scans for identity, in which case they're in trouble. Perhaps, since they are 'spies' they have some form of dna altering tech. When they arrive, they aim for a garbage dump so that they can find someone's dna to copy (used tissues, etc), thereby giving you a good opportunity to describe what they look like as they 'become' that person. Can also make for some good introductory dialogue and narrative as they get used to their bodies, especially if one of them is male and becomes female. This should be based on a one-off device/ procedure, or else they'll never get in trouble (if you can consistently assimilate someone's dna, you can escape danger pretty easy). Also, who they become could lead to some nice plot developments if they are recognised by loved ones, etc. It will also make the reader more sympathetic if they are seen as 'human'. Perhaps some rudimentary intelligence could also be assimilated, thereby possibly solving the language/ knowledge issue as well.

3. I am assuming that if the world is strict about travel, then there must be a reason- dystopia, fascism? If so, they'll have all sorts of problems, especially if they ever intend to walk around armed.

4. What is 'the System'? If it 'quickly repairs itself', then there must be some reason that it needs these key people to exist. What will their removal interrupt? Effectively, the spies are seeking to bring down the the System if they seek to eliminate these targets that are vital for the System's survival. You need to be absolutely clear on these details, in your head if not the page.

5. Watch the number of targets too- you said that for one of them the 'jump' is their first time. That means, presumably, that they haven't killed any targets yet. If they have dozens to get through, then you're in trouble if you ever want to have them succeeding, because the reader will get bored by about number five if they're doing this over and over. If I might suggest something, I'd have it start on or near the last one. It will give the story more urgency and suspense if they're against the clock before the System resets them all.

Thats all I can think of at the moment, hope this helps.

 

[Malkiz]

@Dubrech:
First of all, thanks for your input


1. I see your point. I'll try thinking of some more interesting solutions. But I can't seem to come up with any atm...

2. That's an interesting idea about the DNA, but not for this story. I can't have them changing appearances (at least not one of them - the older guy). It's crucial for a very important part of my plot.

It will also make the reader more sympathetic if they are seen as 'human'. Perhaps some rudimentary intelligence could also be assimilated, thereby possibly solving the language/ knowledge issue as well.

They are human. I can't see how that wasn't clear... never mind. They have their own conflicts, background stories, etc.
Could you explain what you mean in that last sentence? I didn't get that...

3. The reason is practical- because of the way the world is built (which I'd rather not reveal) the use of aircraft can quickly bring the superficial world peace to an end. And with their advanced tech, that would mean the end of the planet.

4. 'The System' refers to the laws of physics which I have set for my multi-verse. I'd rather not reveal the purpose of these key targets, but you may assume they are vital to the system, and their removal is necessary for the goal of my travelers.
And don't worry about the details, I have a very elaborate and well thought out description of this system and its rules (I've been messing around with this story for the last 4 years now).

5. There are multiple teams of 'jumpers'. My story follows these two from the point the older guy joins the purpose. I am planning 3-5 dimensions for them. The rest is assumed to have been done by the other teams.

 

[Jake Reynolds]

Heya,

1. This is always a pickle- however, perhaps the dimensional differences simply aren't that great, and some elements of crossover occur. I suppose it depends on whether its an alternate timeline scenario or a wholly different dimension. But as per point 2 below, if they're distinctly human as well, then its conceivable that language would be the same too.

2. Sorry, my use of 'human' (i.e in quotes) was because you hadn't used the word human in your original post, nor the word 'Earth'. Regardless of how emphatically you state that they're human, being from another dimension will make a reader think of them as different, therefore aliens. Or angels, maybe, if they're feeling spiritual.

As for rudimentary intelligence being assimilated, I was referring to if you used the dna route to alter their appearance so that they could blend in, i.e. there could be some memory included in the assimilation, which would include language, knowledge of the city, etc, enough for them to at least get started.

3. Can I ask how they move goods around the planet? How do people travel? Do people live and honeymoon in the city they're born in all their lives? Sorry to be nitpicky, but there are a whole host of things that need to be considered if you're only having land/sea based travel.

4. "I'd rather not reveal the purpose of these key targets, but you may assume they are vital to the system, and their removal is necessary for the goal of my travelers". I'm hoping you mean you'd rather not reveal them on the forums, not that you'd rather not reveal them to the reader! If this isn't established pretty quick, the readers won't know your two main characaters' motivation, which is vital.

5. Sounds cool, especially if there is crossover, such as a colleague 'jumping' in with a mortal wound, so they don't know if he succeeded or not.

I thought of another couple:

6. Presumably their targets are fairly high profile, otherwise their mission would be easy, i.e. find Joe Bloggs at the bowling alley, smash in head with a bowling ball. If they are high profile, then its likely going to be quite easy to find these people (assuming they have an internet or some kind of internal communications or data storage system, or even a phone book). The System would also not leave its chosen ones unprotected.

7. Can the System adapt? If so, then it woud likely retaliate if it sensed a pattern in the deaths of even three or four of its key personnel. Non human systems don't tend to shrug things off as coincidence. Presumably it would bend its resources to protecting the rest of them while it restored the few it had lost in quick succession.

Hope this helps- feel like I'm being a bit full on. Have only just listened to the Writing Excuses podcast episode based on future world building, so am a bit in that frame of mind.

 

[Malkiz]

1. I'm afraid I cannot get away with it that easily. The "dimensions" co-exist continuously. Meaning they aren't like "parallel timelines" with just a few differences, but actual wholly "other" (=different) universes.
However, my rules do state that all of the targets reside in relatively "close" realities (don't ask for the meaning of "close", it's too complicated and redundant for the purpose of this discussion). So, being close together can have the extra meaning of being similar in the fields of human behavior, and hence languages as well.

2. From my first post: "There are no aliens or anything like that. Just a futuristic society" and my second post: "Aliens have been proven to be non-existent in any and all dimensions" (never mind how... I do have an explanation).
They are not on Earth. They come from a dimension other than ours to dimensions other than ours. One of my characters however (to be revealed in the book) is originally from our dimension.

And again, your idea with the DNA is really cool, but just doesn't have any place in my story

3. The planet is all land. There are no seas on the surface, only underground. Travel and transport to long distances are done by super-fast trains.
There are also submarines for exploration of the underground seas, but I'm not sure if my characters will ever get to see or use them.

4. The logic will be explained to the readers around the beginning, yes. (but there is no obligation that that's the REAL logic. Be careful who you listen to )

5. Yup

6. Being "high profile" as you call it, doesn't necessarily mean they aren't well hidden (take for example underworld figures). Also, if you go back to my first post- "They (the travelers) do not know the identity of the person they are looking for, but they will be able to recognize him due to certain unique characteristics if they ever see him. Their target doesn't know he's being hunted, but he is hidden well for other reasons."
And don't worry, they do have a way of narrowing their search through the haystack.
All that and more- to be revealed in the book.

7. Being just a set of natural laws, an adapting system doesn't sound reasonable to me. It's like saying a black hole is an anomaly, so after 3-4 of them have formed our universe should have corrected itself to prevent such things from happening.


And feel free to "attack" my logic however you like. I know I haven't given you too much to work with since I'm not revealing large chunks of details, but actually this is the first time I am telling these things to anyone, and it's nice to see that my logic is holding up

 

[Malkiz]

Sorry for the double post, I just didn't think this requires a new thread.


I just realized another problem with my story, and I'm wondering if anyone can help me-
I've been reading some posts on this site and as I understand it, the general consensus is to not tell anything that isn't relevant to the current happenings in the story.
This causes a problem for me-
The recent history of the world that my main characters have arrived at is totally obvious to all of its inhabitants. So my main characters can't really ask these obvious questions without raising suspicion. But I can't just not tell the history, because it's very important for the understanding of the story. Also, these are questions that the readers might have fairly early on, and I don't want to leave them open and unexplained.

What can I do?

Thanks, M.

 

[chrispenycate]

This, as you may have guessed, is not a simple problem. The trite answer is "show, don't tell", and the fashionable close POV means that you can only transfer to your readers what your protagonist is noticing, or saying.

Which means that if (s)he's coming from out of town you can gawp at the huge buildings and the dense crowds of locals rendering the pavements (sidewalks) impassible, and driving everyone who wants to get anywhere into the paths of the carts and occasional rich men's mounts.

If he lives there, all he feels is frustration at having to squeeze through the mob, or the lack of light filtering into the narrow streets making it hard to recognise faces.

Getting the essential information across without your audience feeling they're being lectured at is possible the most difficult task after generating the story itself. Information essential for understanding the situation (s)he is in must come in first; bits that are needed to follow the story before or exactly when the narration reaches a critical point. Then, when you've really worked everything you possibly can into the action flow, then you make a list of all the essentials that have got left out, and add some descriptive passages to introduce them.

I don't think anybody gets it right first time; and if you do add the visual aspects you were suggesting to your text, you'll find that the rule carries over. Attention is concentrated on the essential by making the unimportant fade into the scenery.

There isn't one guaranteed method for nailing down a wandering attention span; don't get your lead character saying "Do you remember when we were…" and filling in back story, avoid nightmares from which he awakes and explains to us what it means (and these are rules, which means you can break them, as long as you recognise what you're doing). The only true rule is 'don't bore your reader', and if you can avoid that you can even lecture, and ignore the 'show not tell' pundits.

 

[Hammerhand]

Hmm, tricky. One thing you could do, depending on what sort of time-line you have got to play with for your characters, is to follow a historians approach. The characters could bounce theories off each other based on any evidence or sources they come across during their investigation. Look around the real world, there are plenty of references to the past in architecture, art, literature, statues and colloquial language. The real skill involved is in putting the pieces together to make the big picture. If one of your characters has a good amount of experience, he may have an uncanny nack for interpreting the evidence, for example, he may be able to identify how long ago the culture went through an industrial/technological revolution based on the style of architecture and transport, the type and style of governance based on the currency (the heads of state on the back of the coins and the date it was minted would indicate the turnaround period in leaders). Not to mention any class system, or even a caste system which could indicate economical development. A particularly strong military presence may point to recent or impending conflict. Of course, the theories your character comes up with could be wildly wrong or remarkably accurate depending if you want to use it to play out certain twists in the storyline (e.g. one theory may fit perfectly and the characters act on it until something happens and completely blows their theory out of the water) or to add importance to the character (e.g. nobody else is as accurate putting the pieces together making him irreplaceable and critical to these types of operations). Further discoveries down the line can confirm and clarify the theories or disprove them entirely. The main thing is, if you don't want your character to simply read a book on the history, or even watch the news and documentaries on TV, you will have to give a suitably strong reason why not, as it seems to be the most obvious approach.

Sorry to waffle! just think-typing! hope this helps

HH

 

[Malkiz]

I just had an idea-
If an adult is asking obvious questions, it raises suspicion. But if a child asks them, it's completely accepted by everyone. Moreover, the child would probably get only the concise necessary summary, only the essentials of what he needs to know to understand the answer.
So maybe I can work out a way to ask these questions through a child.

It could also work quite well with the language problem. I was looking online at the various stages babies go through when they learn language. The important stuff takes them about 2.5-3 years. I thought I can say that my 'jumpers' have a brain implant that speeds up this process into just a few days for them.
And the best environment for helping this process would be around kids, I think.

The only problem now is to find a way for them to spend these first few days around kids while keeping it interesting for the reader on the one hand, and not raising suspicion on the other hand (two foreign strangers hanging out with kids... yeah )

Does this sound good to you guys?