Hericksonbrigl
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- Jan 24, 2011
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As a preface: This is still the unedited rough draft. It goes to editors beginning of February. I am interested in critiques of the general story. But grammar stuff is awesome too! 
“We know the abyss exists. Rituals that our magi performed have revealed as much. What little knowledge we have is both unverifiable and not entirely trustworthy. Unfortunately, the sheer volume of references, across multiple cultures, cannot be ignored and they fill me with dread. These writings detail a never ending darkness, an abyss, it is a prison and a place where evil lies shackled and dormant. Can this gateway be opened? Fortunately, no way has been found as of yet and I believe doom sleeps within its hollow walls, scratching for a way out.”
Aran the Grey,
head master of the Pentacle, school for the magi.
Chapter 1: Black in Black
There was a place where mistakes were pushed away and forgotten. It was a dark place and hidden place in the multi-verse, off limits to everyone and everything, escape was impossible prisoners and entrance was almost improbable. The light was faint and shined low and dim to light up the perpetual fog in a dull grayish, blackish, shifting wall that hid horrors of all kinds just out of sight. Occasionally you could hear skittering along the ground and see quick flashes of movement, ominous hints of something in the mist.
In this dark foreboding place, there was a creature standing in full view that was in stark contrast to the dark setting around it. Unlike the shadows that moved about unseen, this creature floated just off the ground, purposefully, and singularly, intent on a single goal and not deviating from an invisible path.
It was made almost entirely of yellow glowing energy and wore the armor of a warrior. Its head and arms were made from glowing crackling orbs of energy, while its body was a single metal chest piece that continued on down, eventually stopping at a warrior’s kilt that extended downwards to the ground. Its head was like a golden sun, suspended over the neckline of its breastplate. There was an insignia on its chest, a double headed vertical golden war hammer.
It seemed as if the entire realm gave it a wide birth, because the creatures that stalked it smoky expanse, did not impede it and the very mist that pervaded the realm was absent around the strange Spartan.
Finally, after floating for many minutes, the Spartan stopped and spoke in a deep, resounding voice that echoed like it was in a cave, “I have come for Kestrel.” He said purposefully.
There was a flurry of movement and multiple hands and claws scratched at the outlining aura around the Spartan, but stopped immediately thereafter.
A path in the mist appeared before the Spartan, leading it towards a red figure, suspended in the distance. The Spartan floated down the given path.
Moments past and the Spartan finally made it its destination.
There was a creature hanging just off the ground that was held in place by chains made out of golden energy. They seemed to continue on up into the grey sky, disappearing from view. The chains were branded by a familiar war hammer.
It was almost humanoid with reverse jointed legs and what was originally two wings, but one had been removed somehow, in its place was a bleeding stump on its back. Its frame was squat, sinewy, and was laced with long powerful muscles. Its skin was red and scaled with patches of feathers that dotted its skin intermittently.
His legs were long, likened to a frog, powerful muscled machines built for springing, and landing. Its legs were stretched almost straight by its chains and caused the creature perpetual discomfort.
The creature’s face was large and expressive, and it had smooth scales that curved upwards along a horn rimmed face. Two large expressive round eyes, as big as a man’s fist, stared at its visitor, the Spartan. The creature’s mouth was large, with a mouth that stretched from cheekbone to cheekbone, exposing long angular yellow teeth that poked sadistically down its lower lip. Large curling horns floated just off its head remaining in orbit perpetually; they were also in motion, much like a garish spiked crown of bone. The single wing that poked out from its back drooped from disuse, the muscles that once powered this majestic appendage were atrophied and holes dotted the membrane of the wing, making its once regal appearance seem sad and decrepit. It was a lost glory with a crown of thorns.
On the other side of the creatures back, exactly opposite of the atrophied wing was a curious sight to behold, a bleeding stump where an appendage was missing. Garish, jagged, claw marks raked across the stump like rivulets, marking it as a sight of a repeated wound, it still bleed even now, the wound was not healed, even though it looked like the damage was old.
The imp spoke in a gravely malicious voice, that had a slight hint of insanity, “Why are you here servant of Dol’Ron? This is not your realm.”
The Spartan responded in the same its hollow sounding voice, “We require your service, Kestrel.” It said in a monotonous tone.
“How dare you ask a favor from me! After what your ilk did to us many millennia ago!” Kestrel snarled from his perch.
The golden orb of the servant of Dol’Ron’s head did not move or speak for a while, as if weighing what is was about to say next, “Do you desire freedom?” it finally asked.
Kestrel struggling against the chains that bound him with a titanic effort that shook the realm itself, he roared in anger and his mouth opened wider than it should have, unhinging and causing his mouth to open almost completely vertical, to reveal rows upon rows of jagged teeth, “After uncounted millennia of imprisonment you are willing to let me loose? Do you comprehend the hell I will bring with my brothers and sisters? Your world will be wiped clean, everything that makes it unique will be erased, and I will return it to the original fabric from which it was made?!” he roared and then collapsed back into the hold of his chains.
The Spartan nodded, its yellow orb bending down slightly, “I have the power to free you, but in order to free the rest of your kindred, you will have to travel to the city of Deiyil.” The Spartan offered.
Kestrel smiled evilly, “You are serious. This is not a cosmic joke is it? Hmmm, do you have a vessel ready for me?” he asked slyly.
The Spartan nodded, “He is one of our speakers called Diametries. He has been informed of the sacrifice and knows the details of the ritual required to free your people.” The Spartan uttered gravely.
Kestrel raised a red scaled eyebrow, “You have thought of everything.” Kestrel said with cackling approval.
The Spartan raised one arm, an orb of energy towards Kestrel’s direction, the golden war hammers that were stamped on the chains glowed brightly and then with a crash, they shattered, sprinkling the ashen ground with glowing particles, moments later they disappeared.
Kestrel fell to the ground and landed with catlike grace. Millennia of imprisonment had not dulled his reactions. Kestrel prowled towards the Spartan and burned the ground with his footsteps with smoldering black fire, “I can kill you now.” Kestrel stated matter a factly.
The Spartan did not react.
“Can you really send me to Deiyil? That is impossible.” Kestrel laughed slightly
One of the orbs of energy from the Spartan’s arms floated out, still connected to its body, then began to expand into a flat plain, till it was a perfect flat circle, then it began to swirl in on itself and slowly revealed on the other side that the portal was suspended high up in the sky and looked down on a healthy rolling forest that came up to a large white mountain, and far in the distance, a city was seen peeking out into the distance.
Kestrel smiled with barely contained enthusiasm in his large alien like eyes, he sprang forward towards the open portal, but stopped himself halfway through, holding the edges with one of his claws and stepping lightly on one edge, both claws were burning away at the portal where he made contact with it, “Besides asking how you did this magic. I know what I get out of this, but what do you get out of this?” Kestrel spoke to the Spartan.
The Spartan remained silent.
Kestrel smiled to him, “Fine, be that way.” And he jumped through the portal. When he was fully through the portal, Kestrel transformed into a large black shadow, and the only evidence of his passing was the shadow he left over the clouds below him.
After Kestrel left, the Spartan broke contact with the portal. Then, it spoke into the mist, “Take me to the other leaders of the Vaedziur.”
The mist parted to reveal a new path and the Spartan moved down it in a slow and purposeful fashion.
The portal remained open. It slowly closed as the Spartan left, when it appeared that there was no one to see, a new figure materialized next to the portal. It was also a strange contrast to its surroundings, a monk in long flowing robes that glittered like the stars. Its hood was pulled down in such a way that nothing could be seen inside except for piercing forest green eyes.
The monk raised one of its robed arms and from within flowed out pure white mist that stopped and formed a vague outline of a body. The mist kneeled in respect and then raced through the closing portal after Kestrel.
The monk bowed its head and disappeared back into the mist from whence it came.
Birds were chirping happily as they began to wake up. Light streamed through the trees and caused the dew to sparkle off the leaves. A shining rainbow lit up the forest vibrantly, and gave birth to the day. The tree’s branches perked up as they grasped for the sunlight from the twin suns of Therra that climbed into the western sky. One of these suns was smaller than the other and shined red, while the other larger one was a brighter yellow.
A falcon was sitting on his nest, his wings were folded and he was preening his as he prepared for his morning hunt. He was covered mostly in white feathers and had a mild speckling of brown that dotted his wings and back, while his head was graced by a keen set of eyes and a wicked curved beak. It looked to the sky and watched as the twin suns crested the horizon.
It was time; the falcon flapped his wings experimentally and climbed out of his nest. This bird was a loaner, no egg chicks to take care of, no mate to watch. This was how it liked it, alone in the wild, a hunter in the skies without equal. He keened loudly and took off from his perch towards the sky.
The falcon flew higher and higher, till he was able to see his entire dominion and then he began to look for food.
The clouds toddled by and did not care about his hunt in the least.
The forest below him was his largest source food. It was a large evergreen forest, also where he kept his home. The falcon was able to pick from a wide array of prey, there were small animals and other birds in the forest that had satisfied the falcon’s appetite many times. Just to its back were mountains with ivory stone a tall white stone mountains. The most notable feature near its home was the man made monstrosity. A city that was large, robust, tightly walled, and was a center for activity. That city was also home to the falcon’s favorite hunting grounds. The walls and the three expansive roads that lead from the city were made from the white stone of the mountain, quarried from there long ago.
The reason why the city was the falcon’s favorite hunting ground was that it presented the largest challenge. This bird had long ago become board of his forest. The animals were dumb, lazy, and did not seem to put up much of a fight. The city was a different beast all together. Dangers lurked in the twists and curves of the city streets that had almost killed the falcon many times. Food was also plentiful in the city. Being able to survive off of food from the city was the pinnacle of the hunter to him and he did.
The city itself was enclosed on all sides by an unnaturally perfectly circular wall. It was made from smooth white stone that had stood the test of time. The inside of the structure was populated by three circular grooves in the ground of the city that were fully apparent from so high up, these were connected at the center by three more smaller circles that connected to one another at the center of the city, where a large tower rose up from the center like a monolith to a civilization long ago.
Unlike the roads, walls, and towers, the other buildings in the city were populated by a motley assortment of houses that dotted its streets tightly and compactly.
Between the roads and the circles are made up of smaller semi-triangular sections. The city is broken up into ten quarters this way, three large circular city areas, six smaller outlying triangular areas, and a single tall white tower at the cities center.
Near the western section of the city was a large open wound in the ground, it was as if a titanic force had ripped the ground open, and revealed a dark chasm underneath.
There! It spotted its meal perched on a small window ledge towards the south end of the city.
His sharp eyes focused on a spot, it was a small window ledge towards the south end of the city. A small mouse was gobbling up cheese greedily next to a potted plant on a window sill.
The falcon dived quickly and swooped past the clouds as it rocketed towards its prey. As it descended it let out a loud war cry, a keen that split the stillness of the morning air. Just before impact it extended its wings and thrust out its claws to scoop up the mouse. The falcon hit the mouse like a lightning bolt and killed it instantly. The attack was successful and the falcon had food. It was satisfied and speed off towards its home to satisfy its growling tummy.
“We know the abyss exists. Rituals that our magi performed have revealed as much. What little knowledge we have is both unverifiable and not entirely trustworthy. Unfortunately, the sheer volume of references, across multiple cultures, cannot be ignored and they fill me with dread. These writings detail a never ending darkness, an abyss, it is a prison and a place where evil lies shackled and dormant. Can this gateway be opened? Fortunately, no way has been found as of yet and I believe doom sleeps within its hollow walls, scratching for a way out.”
Aran the Grey,
head master of the Pentacle, school for the magi.
Chapter 1: Black in Black
There was a place where mistakes were pushed away and forgotten. It was a dark place and hidden place in the multi-verse, off limits to everyone and everything, escape was impossible prisoners and entrance was almost improbable. The light was faint and shined low and dim to light up the perpetual fog in a dull grayish, blackish, shifting wall that hid horrors of all kinds just out of sight. Occasionally you could hear skittering along the ground and see quick flashes of movement, ominous hints of something in the mist.
In this dark foreboding place, there was a creature standing in full view that was in stark contrast to the dark setting around it. Unlike the shadows that moved about unseen, this creature floated just off the ground, purposefully, and singularly, intent on a single goal and not deviating from an invisible path.
It was made almost entirely of yellow glowing energy and wore the armor of a warrior. Its head and arms were made from glowing crackling orbs of energy, while its body was a single metal chest piece that continued on down, eventually stopping at a warrior’s kilt that extended downwards to the ground. Its head was like a golden sun, suspended over the neckline of its breastplate. There was an insignia on its chest, a double headed vertical golden war hammer.
It seemed as if the entire realm gave it a wide birth, because the creatures that stalked it smoky expanse, did not impede it and the very mist that pervaded the realm was absent around the strange Spartan.
Finally, after floating for many minutes, the Spartan stopped and spoke in a deep, resounding voice that echoed like it was in a cave, “I have come for Kestrel.” He said purposefully.
There was a flurry of movement and multiple hands and claws scratched at the outlining aura around the Spartan, but stopped immediately thereafter.
A path in the mist appeared before the Spartan, leading it towards a red figure, suspended in the distance. The Spartan floated down the given path.
Moments past and the Spartan finally made it its destination.
There was a creature hanging just off the ground that was held in place by chains made out of golden energy. They seemed to continue on up into the grey sky, disappearing from view. The chains were branded by a familiar war hammer.
It was almost humanoid with reverse jointed legs and what was originally two wings, but one had been removed somehow, in its place was a bleeding stump on its back. Its frame was squat, sinewy, and was laced with long powerful muscles. Its skin was red and scaled with patches of feathers that dotted its skin intermittently.
His legs were long, likened to a frog, powerful muscled machines built for springing, and landing. Its legs were stretched almost straight by its chains and caused the creature perpetual discomfort.
The creature’s face was large and expressive, and it had smooth scales that curved upwards along a horn rimmed face. Two large expressive round eyes, as big as a man’s fist, stared at its visitor, the Spartan. The creature’s mouth was large, with a mouth that stretched from cheekbone to cheekbone, exposing long angular yellow teeth that poked sadistically down its lower lip. Large curling horns floated just off its head remaining in orbit perpetually; they were also in motion, much like a garish spiked crown of bone. The single wing that poked out from its back drooped from disuse, the muscles that once powered this majestic appendage were atrophied and holes dotted the membrane of the wing, making its once regal appearance seem sad and decrepit. It was a lost glory with a crown of thorns.
On the other side of the creatures back, exactly opposite of the atrophied wing was a curious sight to behold, a bleeding stump where an appendage was missing. Garish, jagged, claw marks raked across the stump like rivulets, marking it as a sight of a repeated wound, it still bleed even now, the wound was not healed, even though it looked like the damage was old.
The imp spoke in a gravely malicious voice, that had a slight hint of insanity, “Why are you here servant of Dol’Ron? This is not your realm.”
The Spartan responded in the same its hollow sounding voice, “We require your service, Kestrel.” It said in a monotonous tone.
“How dare you ask a favor from me! After what your ilk did to us many millennia ago!” Kestrel snarled from his perch.
The golden orb of the servant of Dol’Ron’s head did not move or speak for a while, as if weighing what is was about to say next, “Do you desire freedom?” it finally asked.
Kestrel struggling against the chains that bound him with a titanic effort that shook the realm itself, he roared in anger and his mouth opened wider than it should have, unhinging and causing his mouth to open almost completely vertical, to reveal rows upon rows of jagged teeth, “After uncounted millennia of imprisonment you are willing to let me loose? Do you comprehend the hell I will bring with my brothers and sisters? Your world will be wiped clean, everything that makes it unique will be erased, and I will return it to the original fabric from which it was made?!” he roared and then collapsed back into the hold of his chains.
The Spartan nodded, its yellow orb bending down slightly, “I have the power to free you, but in order to free the rest of your kindred, you will have to travel to the city of Deiyil.” The Spartan offered.
Kestrel smiled evilly, “You are serious. This is not a cosmic joke is it? Hmmm, do you have a vessel ready for me?” he asked slyly.
The Spartan nodded, “He is one of our speakers called Diametries. He has been informed of the sacrifice and knows the details of the ritual required to free your people.” The Spartan uttered gravely.
Kestrel raised a red scaled eyebrow, “You have thought of everything.” Kestrel said with cackling approval.
The Spartan raised one arm, an orb of energy towards Kestrel’s direction, the golden war hammers that were stamped on the chains glowed brightly and then with a crash, they shattered, sprinkling the ashen ground with glowing particles, moments later they disappeared.
Kestrel fell to the ground and landed with catlike grace. Millennia of imprisonment had not dulled his reactions. Kestrel prowled towards the Spartan and burned the ground with his footsteps with smoldering black fire, “I can kill you now.” Kestrel stated matter a factly.
The Spartan did not react.
“Can you really send me to Deiyil? That is impossible.” Kestrel laughed slightly
One of the orbs of energy from the Spartan’s arms floated out, still connected to its body, then began to expand into a flat plain, till it was a perfect flat circle, then it began to swirl in on itself and slowly revealed on the other side that the portal was suspended high up in the sky and looked down on a healthy rolling forest that came up to a large white mountain, and far in the distance, a city was seen peeking out into the distance.
Kestrel smiled with barely contained enthusiasm in his large alien like eyes, he sprang forward towards the open portal, but stopped himself halfway through, holding the edges with one of his claws and stepping lightly on one edge, both claws were burning away at the portal where he made contact with it, “Besides asking how you did this magic. I know what I get out of this, but what do you get out of this?” Kestrel spoke to the Spartan.
The Spartan remained silent.
Kestrel smiled to him, “Fine, be that way.” And he jumped through the portal. When he was fully through the portal, Kestrel transformed into a large black shadow, and the only evidence of his passing was the shadow he left over the clouds below him.
After Kestrel left, the Spartan broke contact with the portal. Then, it spoke into the mist, “Take me to the other leaders of the Vaedziur.”
The mist parted to reveal a new path and the Spartan moved down it in a slow and purposeful fashion.
The portal remained open. It slowly closed as the Spartan left, when it appeared that there was no one to see, a new figure materialized next to the portal. It was also a strange contrast to its surroundings, a monk in long flowing robes that glittered like the stars. Its hood was pulled down in such a way that nothing could be seen inside except for piercing forest green eyes.
The monk raised one of its robed arms and from within flowed out pure white mist that stopped and formed a vague outline of a body. The mist kneeled in respect and then raced through the closing portal after Kestrel.
The monk bowed its head and disappeared back into the mist from whence it came.
Birds were chirping happily as they began to wake up. Light streamed through the trees and caused the dew to sparkle off the leaves. A shining rainbow lit up the forest vibrantly, and gave birth to the day. The tree’s branches perked up as they grasped for the sunlight from the twin suns of Therra that climbed into the western sky. One of these suns was smaller than the other and shined red, while the other larger one was a brighter yellow.
A falcon was sitting on his nest, his wings were folded and he was preening his as he prepared for his morning hunt. He was covered mostly in white feathers and had a mild speckling of brown that dotted his wings and back, while his head was graced by a keen set of eyes and a wicked curved beak. It looked to the sky and watched as the twin suns crested the horizon.
It was time; the falcon flapped his wings experimentally and climbed out of his nest. This bird was a loaner, no egg chicks to take care of, no mate to watch. This was how it liked it, alone in the wild, a hunter in the skies without equal. He keened loudly and took off from his perch towards the sky.
The falcon flew higher and higher, till he was able to see his entire dominion and then he began to look for food.
The clouds toddled by and did not care about his hunt in the least.
The forest below him was his largest source food. It was a large evergreen forest, also where he kept his home. The falcon was able to pick from a wide array of prey, there were small animals and other birds in the forest that had satisfied the falcon’s appetite many times. Just to its back were mountains with ivory stone a tall white stone mountains. The most notable feature near its home was the man made monstrosity. A city that was large, robust, tightly walled, and was a center for activity. That city was also home to the falcon’s favorite hunting grounds. The walls and the three expansive roads that lead from the city were made from the white stone of the mountain, quarried from there long ago.
The reason why the city was the falcon’s favorite hunting ground was that it presented the largest challenge. This bird had long ago become board of his forest. The animals were dumb, lazy, and did not seem to put up much of a fight. The city was a different beast all together. Dangers lurked in the twists and curves of the city streets that had almost killed the falcon many times. Food was also plentiful in the city. Being able to survive off of food from the city was the pinnacle of the hunter to him and he did.
The city itself was enclosed on all sides by an unnaturally perfectly circular wall. It was made from smooth white stone that had stood the test of time. The inside of the structure was populated by three circular grooves in the ground of the city that were fully apparent from so high up, these were connected at the center by three more smaller circles that connected to one another at the center of the city, where a large tower rose up from the center like a monolith to a civilization long ago.
Unlike the roads, walls, and towers, the other buildings in the city were populated by a motley assortment of houses that dotted its streets tightly and compactly.
Between the roads and the circles are made up of smaller semi-triangular sections. The city is broken up into ten quarters this way, three large circular city areas, six smaller outlying triangular areas, and a single tall white tower at the cities center.
Near the western section of the city was a large open wound in the ground, it was as if a titanic force had ripped the ground open, and revealed a dark chasm underneath.
There! It spotted its meal perched on a small window ledge towards the south end of the city.
His sharp eyes focused on a spot, it was a small window ledge towards the south end of the city. A small mouse was gobbling up cheese greedily next to a potted plant on a window sill.
The falcon dived quickly and swooped past the clouds as it rocketed towards its prey. As it descended it let out a loud war cry, a keen that split the stillness of the morning air. Just before impact it extended its wings and thrust out its claws to scoop up the mouse. The falcon hit the mouse like a lightning bolt and killed it instantly. The attack was successful and the falcon had food. It was satisfied and speed off towards its home to satisfy its growling tummy.
