Do fragments matter?

[anthorn]

In writing does fragments matter in submission?

I am just curious as sometimes mine are stylist choices. I have also seen to it to change those i dislike.

However, even though I look over my work and change if needed. Checking words grammar and punctuation and stuff. However at the end even though there are no green and red lines. There is some when i submit, unavoidable... I lose track.

So any comments?

 

[Boneman]

I'm not sure what you mean by fragments, Ant. Can you give me any examples? Do you mean shortened words, or fragmented sentences? They can be very powerful in dialogue, but confusing in descriptive prose. And short sentences can add drama, heighten tension. Gimme an example.

 

[The Judge]

I agree with Boneman. If you mean sentence fragments --ie not complete sentences -- within the story, then they can be hugely effective, and not only in dialogue. However, like every style chocie, they can be over-used. The trick is to know when and how to use them.

 

[anthorn]

Sentance. Fragment highlighted.

[FONT=&quot]“Mummy has something to tell you,” she said. “Aunty Xara has come to us with an amazing offer. How would you like to go with her to a school in the city? A school only for girls?”[/FONT]

“Yes!” cried Sarana, always over eager. They were practically twins, but not quite Nikita thought watching the excited expression on her face. Nikita turned away and looked out of the window at the passing landscapes, soon their estate was hidden completely by the trees and they could no longer see home.

 

[RJM Corbet]

Sentance. Fragment highlighted.

[FONT=&quot]“Mummy has something to tell you,” she said. “Aunty Xara has come to us with an amazing offer. How would you like to go with her to a school in the city? A school only for girls?”[/FONT]

“Yes!” cried Sarana, always over eager. They were practically twins, but not quite Nikita thought watching the excited expression on her face. Nikita turned away and looked out of the window at the passing landscapes, soon their estate was hidden completely by the trees and they could no longer see home.

Well the computer will green line those because they're not complete sentences. But you need the first one for the dialogue, and the second one reads fine. It flows naturally. Perhaps you should just read it aloud back to yourself, if you're doubtful? It reads fine, nothing wrong with it, to me.

Don't let your computer nag you too much?

 

[anthorn]

Maybe. I am just worried about the agent seeing all these green lines and going PASS.
I have changed a few fragments. They sounded better by adding ;:,
The samples I have shown you are from book one, the sample pages that i send to agents.

I think it's probably just me, I mean, I checked a sample of a published author I.E Ian Irvine and he has fragments too.

 

[HareBrain]

Maybe. I am just worried about the agent seeing all these green lines and going PASS.

I would be very surprised if any agent left Word's grammar checker switched on. I think you're safe on that score.

 

[RJM Corbet]

I would just read it back aloud to yourself if you're doubtful

 

[Grimbear]

Writing what Word decides are 'fragments' can definitely be a stylistic choice.

Word does not always know best.

A 'fragment' sentence can be a sentence that is extremely effective esp in quick,tense action scenes. Plus real people pretty often talk in a non-grammatical way. It would sound strange and forced certainly to apply the 'fragment' rule to all dialog. The characters imo would end up sounding either eccentric or like robots!



Go for it

Grim

 

[Anne Martin]

Fragments are fine if you are sure the reader will make sense of them. People tend to speak in fragments, so they are perfectly acceptable in dialog. I would just be careful to use them sparingly in your prose. For special effects. Perhaps. When. You. Want. To. Control. The. Pace. Of. Reading. But if you did that all the time, you would drive your reader crazy. You can achieve similar effects with commas, tagging your fragments to sentences.

 

[slack]

As others have pointed out, if you follow Word's advice you will end up with technically correct writing that also sometimes doesn't ring true. The rules are constantly butchered during normal conversation, and the best writing mimics this to a degree because it sounds authentic.

The deliberate shortening of sentences during an action scene gives the writing a rapid, breathless feel. Staccato. Bam. Bam. Bam. Like gunfire.

Whatever sounds best, reads best, probably is best.

 

[Boneman]

Aaah, I see. If it's stylistic, there isn't a problem, and as HB says, an agent isn't likely to leave grammar checker on, anyway. The example you've given would never even be noticed - it slots into what you've written seamlessly.

I checked my own wip, and the grammar checker tries very hard, but (mostly) I ignore it. eg:

Granny Coldstone’s backside was thin and scrawny, but I wanted to kick it, anyway. I could be a bit tardy in fixing her roof tiles, see how she’d like that. Maybe some summer rain coming through would be ill-will enough for her. Interfering busybody.

The last two words are underlined as a fragment. I could have used a comma, or a semi colon, or a dash. Or even said 'she was an interfering busybody'. But I think it works better in the style I've put it.
I'd check the fragments in your work, and unless they are showing you real errors (can be very useful if you use the wrong tense, for instance) I'd ignore them.

 

[anthorn]

Yeah, sometimes with me it is stylist, other times human error and with those i change by either rewriting or ; ' :

Thanks people, this has been helpful

 

[carlos]

I think fragments are especially useful when describing battle scenes, or other action scenes or perhaps when you're probing into a troubled mind. i like curt sentences.