Absurd Cinema Thread

Diggler

Diggler

Beam Me Up Scotty
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Aug 27, 2009
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I noticed Starbeast was posting a fair amount of cheesy movie threads and posts around the forum, and he came up with the concept of an Absurd Cinema thread.

If you know of a really bad, silly or just plain odd film then mention it in here. If you can find a Youtube trailer to go with it, even better!

I'll get the ball rolling with The Telephone Book from 1971. This was a rather whacked out art film by one time director Nelson Lyon. The films protagonist is doing yoga in her apartment one morning and receives a phone call from a man claiming to be the "worlds greatest obscene phone caller". The young lady is so enamoured by his amazing linguistic skills that she wishes to meet him. he states his name is John Smith, and he's in the phone book. She then goes off on an adventure in search of the elusive John Smith, but ends up running into all sorts of weird people along the way.

Starring Roger C. Carmel (Cyclonus from Transformers), Captain Haggerty (The large Zombie on the boat at the beginning of Zombie Flesh Eaters), Barry Morse (space: 1999), Norman Rose (many advertisement), Ondine and Ultra Violet (Andy Warhol crowd) and William Hickey in one of the most hilarious scenes I've ever witnessed.

The chances of getting a copy of this is unluckily pretty slim, the movie is so obscure that the director didn't even know it had ever been released to video.

*Please note the second video does have adult themes, though there is no nudity or obscene language.*

 
I feel like anything David Lynch has ever done falls into this category for me.
 
Ratboy (1986)​

This is probably the biggest waste of time for anyone, totally uninteresting tale of a half human/half rat being who is a victim of explotation.​



 
Good grief, that was something special. :p
I thought for sure he was going to bust out some kind of ratboy dance at the party.
 
Horrors of Spider Island (1962)​

Sickeningly dull movie, THEE only thing I liked were the tree dwelling mutant arachnids which were only shown breifly.​



The mutant spider scene!​


 
Member said:
Good grief, that was something special. :p
I thought for sure he was going to bust out some kind of ratboy dance at the party.
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You know, with all of those talanted comedians in the film, it could have been a riot as a comedy. But Noooooo, director Sandra Locke (Clint Eastwood's lady at the time) wanted to make a heartfelt movie about someone who is different. Argh....

Anyway, I was an instant fan of the film DEAD ALIVE.
 
Mars Needs Women, The Cyclops and The Manster so far today on TV. Plus, this hideous reminder of the forgotten RatBoy. That baby blender scene is great.
Horrors of Spider Island has the worst dubbing ever, the same voices for all the characters... kinda thing.
Try For Your Height Only, a Philipino James Bond midget spoof if you can find it. And of course, Gymkata.
 
soulsinging said:
I feel like anything David Lynch has ever done falls into this category for me.
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Especially Eraserhead. My older son, a rabid David Lynch fan actually has an Eraserhead refrigerator magnet.

I particularly like the scintillating dialogue:

Dad: Well Henry, what do you know?
Henry: Oh, I don't know much of anything.

Mom: It's Henry isn't it? Mary tells me you're a very nice fellow. What do you do?
Henry: Oh, I'm on vacation.
Mom: What did you do?
 
dask said:
Someone ought to nominate Starbeast for an Oscar.
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J-WO said:
Thankyou for your noble sacrifice, Starbeast. You've sat through a lot of crap so that we'll never have to.
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Thanks Dask & J-WO. I'll watch ALMOST anything, at times I've read about wild descriptions for flicks in magazines, and sometimes someone tells me about a movie that was freaky, yet interesting. But then there are other occasions where a movie stands out on the shelf at a video store and since coverart is usually misleading, I read the description printed on the back. If I read about elements I like, I'll usually give the film a chance because sometimes you can find a hidden gem of a bizzare movie that isn't bad.

Like Master of the Flying Guillotine (1974), I heard about it's cult following and that attracted me to see it. It's so absurd, yet entertaining.



 
Mercy. Well, The Killer Shrews was on after the 3 movies I mentioned above, so did I watch it? Of course! Those shrew-costumed dogs, attacking the people as they hide under an inverted water-tank and slowly walk into the lake - is priceless. Such fun those mutts must have had, once they got used to their giant shrew helmets.
For a sheer hacked-up mess, see They Saved Hitler's Brain - it's like three different bad movies in one. And of course, The Mystery of the Leaping Fish.
 
Starbeast said:
Thanks Dask & J-WO. I'll watch ALMOST anything, at times I've read about wild descriptions for flicks in magazines, and sometimes someone tells me about a movie that was freaky, yet interesting. But then there are other occasions where a movie stands out on the shelf at a video store and since coverart is usually misleading, I read the description printed on the back. If I read about elements I like, I'll usually give the film a chance because sometimes you can find a hidden gem of a bizzare movie that isn't bad.

Like Master of the Flying Guillotine (1974), I heard about it's cult following and that attracted me to see it. It's so absurd, yet entertaining.














​
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This is almost too cool for words. And it's got Nazis!
 
I'll add another beauty that is pretty much unknown... Voodoo Black Exorcist. This Spanish atrocity tries to cash in on Mummies, Blaxploitation and Voodoo with disastrous results. Terrible acting, editing, direction, fx and a monster that looks like someone plastered his head with a couple dozen Picnic Bars.

 
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