Continuity, or not

[David Evil Overlord]

A slight continuity problem has arisen in my writing.

I have a short story that should also work as a chapter in a novel.

Trouble is, the short story spends all its time asking whether or not the MC really is a super hero or if she is merely an unreliable narrator with delusions and a spandex bodysuit.

Very close to the end of the story, the truth is revealed.

However, to make it work as a novel, I really need the short story to be chapter 2. That means the courtroom scene that takes place immediately before the short story becomes chapter 1...and it reveals the truth before chapter 2 does.

I'm not sure I can use the short story as chapter 1, and then do chapter 2 as the courtroom-as-flashback.

Any ideas, guys?

 

[The Judge]

What's more important -- the short story appearing in the same form as a chapter, or the novel as a whole? If it's the former, then yes, to avoid the reveal being overshadowed you'd have to make it chapter 1 or even -- gasp -- the prologue, and then have the court scene afterwards. If the novel is more important than the sum of its parts, write it as it needs to be written.

You don't say why the courtroom scene is earlier in time than the short story, but is it not possible to make it later in time, so that it follows naturally?

Alternatively, is it possible to break the court scene in two and interpose the other scene in the middle, thus allowing the reveal before the end of the court chapter?

 

[David Evil Overlord]

The problem, I think, is that the short story will have a certain kick when the truth is revealed. Putting the same story into a novel would have the same effect as writing a short story where the twist is that the heroine is really a vampire, and expecting it to have the same kick when reprinted in the anthology Stories Where The Twist At The End Is The Heroine Is Really A Vampire.

Now that I think about it a little more, the short-story-with-reveal might even have to be chapter three. Unless I jump around in time, and (hopefully) don't confuse the readers too much.

I might have to try flashbacks, and see how that looks.

The courtroom scene should be earlier that day. The (current, subject to change without notice) timeline goes something like this: wag* school, fail to leap tall building, attend court as witness, wish to do grevious bodily harm to defendant, return home, try to change out of super suit before parents get home, get caught by boyfriend who was delivering her Valentine's Day flowers (since she wasn't at school and a very bad teacher confiscated the first bunch he got for her), try to lie her way out of trouble, Big Reveal.

But, the defence lawyer points out that anyone can wear a mask and costume, and how do we know she really is a superhero? So the Big Reveal has to come in court. Which dilutes the kick because the readers already know the secret.

*Wag - Australian slang term for truancy, cutting class, playing hookey, failing to attend school.

 

[Abernovo]

Is it possible to further shorten the short story without revealing the truth, or break it up into other chapters? I know this is pretty similar to The Judge's answer.

Do you absolutely HAVE TO have this short story as a chapter and leave it unchanged? If it's already a short story can it not stand alone as a short story?

And, is there a change in viewpoint?

Trouble is, the short story spends all its time asking whether or not the MC really is a super hero or if she is merely an unreliable narrator with delusions and a spandex bodysuit.

 

[David Evil Overlord]

Is it possible to further shorten the short story without revealing the truth, or break it up into other chapters? I know this is pretty similar to The Judge's answer.

Do you absolutely HAVE TO have this short story as a chapter and leave it unchanged? If it's already a short story can it not stand alone as a short story?

And, is there a change in viewpoint?

Unfortunately, the character is busy painting herself into a corner. Either she tells her boyfriend the truth, or she's going to lose him. And to have all that work and no payoff is going to leave the readers feeling cheated, IMHO.

No change in viewpoint. It's first person, from the (delusional?) hero's POV. This makes the unreliability of this narrator work. I doubt I could pull it off if I changed POV.

P.S. I have already changed the timeline. Originally she failed to leap tall building after court. It works better if it happens before court, because the poor girl has to turn up to testify in an injured and dishevelled state. So I'm not resistant to change, as long as the changed bit works better.

 

[Warren_Paul]

This is how I would handle it: (and this is just my opinion, made in respect to the work you have already done, and only a suggestion based on what I have read so far of your story)

I'd break the scenes up. Start the court scene in the prologue/first chapter, stop it halfway, then start the first/second chapter and have what we have read so far. But before the big reveal comes, switch back to the court and finish it off as the second/third chapter.

BUT

I wouldn't have the big reveal in the court, I'd make the court's view on the matter a bit ambiguous - because the court would never believe she has super powers (if she does). I would cut once again back to the tree house, or wherever it is that the boy figures out the truth, to make your big reveal, after the court scene.

 

[David B]

The court case doesn't need to be resolved in one day or one scene. The judge can question her superhero credentials without reaching a conclusion; possibly ordering tests to be conducted and the hearing postponed for a week. That would allow the other scenes to proceed before the court room drama concludes.

 

[David Evil Overlord]

All good ideas, guys. But unfortunately the world she lives in does have super heroes, so it's always possible she really is one. And the easiest test is "please use your power in front of the court".

I'm thinking I might have to do the courtroom scene as a flashback, simply to keep the reveal in this short story/chapter.

Besides, she does tell her boyfriend she's had a really bad day. That gives her the opening to explain her day as chapter 2. Hmmm.

P.S. Warren, no need to hide that text in grey. I'm never offended by constructive criticism. That's why I'm here, asking for it.

 

[Warren_Paul]

P.S. Warren, no need to hide that text in grey. I'm never offended by constructive criticism. That's why I'm here, asking for it.

That's cool. I just throw that in there when I'm suggesting how someone else should write their story. Since it's their story, not mine, and I don't really have the right to tell them how it should be done in the first place, just how I would do it if I was them.

...

did that make sense?

 

[Jo Zebedee]

Could you break the court scene up through the book? A bit like Slumdog milliionaire, if you know what I mean? use it to drive the scenes/narrative? I think WP is right, and the reveal has more impact if she's with the male prot.

 

[David Evil Overlord]

That's cool. I just throw that in there when I'm suggesting how someone else should write their story. Since it's their story, not mine, and I don't really have the right to tell them how it should be done in the first place, just how I would do it if I was them.

...

did that make sense?

Makes perfect sense, Warren.

Could you break the court scene up through the book? A bit like Slumdog milliionaire, if you know what I mean? use it to drive the scenes/narrative? I think WP is right, and the reveal has more impact if she's with the male prot.

Springs, that is a very good idea. I'll need to think about how to do it, but I do like the idea. Thank you.

 

[The Judge]

I do wonder if you're allowing the short story tail to wag the dog, David. The short works in its own terms. The novel has to work in its.

I note you say if she doesn't tell him the truth she'll lose him -- but how about that is part of the plot? Immediate conflict -- she is torn between keeping him or keeping quiet. Of course, if there's no reason for her not to tell him, then the whole premise is invalidated anyway -- why shouldn't she have told him months ago in that case?

Alternatively, how about having the chapters in the order you want but not revealing the truth to the court? She then has to deal with whatever repercussins arise from that. Again, conflict.

 

[David Evil Overlord]

I do wonder if you're allowing the short story tail to wag the dog, David. The short works in its own terms. The novel has to work in its.

I note you say if she doesn't tell him the truth she'll lose him -- but how about that is part of the plot? Immediate conflict -- she is torn between keeping him or keeping quiet. Of course, if there's no reason for her not to tell him, then the whole premise is invalidated anyway -- why shouldn't she have told him months ago in that case?

Alternatively, how about having the chapters in the order you want but not revealing the truth to the court? She then has to deal with whatever repercussins arise from that. Again, conflict.

She has this idea that her secret identity must stay secret from everybody. Which leaves her lying when her boyfriend asks her why she keeps disappearing in the middle of thier dates.

He's sick of the pathetic lies. He doesn't know the truth. He figures that whatever the truth is, he needs to know. If she can't trust him, what the hell is she doing in a relationship with him?

Hope that makes sense.

 

[David Evil Overlord]

You're right, Your Honour. Enough of the tail wagging the dog. I'm just going to write this puppy and see how it turns out.

P.S. If I really want to mess with continuity, there is a sub-plot with a time traveller trying very hard to fix something and not quite succeeding the first few times...

 

[David Evil Overlord]

The Muse has been a very good girl to me this afternoon. She gave me the solution.

A) Write the short story as it needs to be written.

B) Use the short story as the first chapter in the novel.

C) I have already established in the short story/first chapter that Our Hero has a tiny problem with her super hero licence. The problem is, she doesn't have one. There will be an inquiry into this matter. This allows me to have her "tell" (the short story and novel are both first person) how she got into this mess in the first place.

 

[Warren_Paul]

The Muse has been a very good girl to me this afternoon. She gave me the solution.

A) Write the short story as it needs to be written.

B) Use the short story as the first chapter in the novel.

C) I have already established in the short story/first chapter that Our Hero has a tiny problem with her super hero licence. The problem is, she doesn't have one. There will be an inquiry into this matter. This allows me to have her "tell" (the short story and novel are both first person) how she got into this mess in the first place.

That does sound like a problem...


Good going, DEO, and I hope we get to read it at some point -have enjoyed reading about Singularity so far.

 

[David Evil Overlord]

Glad you liked her (mis)adventures so far, Warren. You wait until you see her first hint that super heroes are supposed to have licences...

May even try to get her novel written for this year's Terry Pratchett First Novel Award.

http://www.terrypratchettbooks.com/?p=1348

Of course, that probably puts me right back where I started with naughty words, but what the f***.

 

[Warren_Paul]

Glad you liked her (mis)adventures so far, Warren. You wait until you see her first hint that super heroes are supposed to have licences...

May even try to get her novel written for this year's Terry Pratchett First Novel Award.

http://www.terrypratchettbooks.com/?p=1348

Of course, that probably puts me right back where I started with naughty words, but what the f***.

That would be cool, I'm sure Singularity would have a good chance at that.

I didn't see anything there that said you couldn't have profanity in the book.

 

[David Evil Overlord]

Neither did I. But the only time I've seen swearing in a Discworld book it was written like f***.

So I assume the contest is in a similar vein. I just queried to make sure.

 

[Gumboot]

Neither did I. But the only time I've seen swearing in a Discworld book it was written like f***.

So I assume the contest is in a similar vein. I just queried to make sure.

I've seen profanity in Discworld books...