Tense clarifications

[juelz4sure]

I'm having a huge issue with my WIP tense issues if anyone could help I'd greatly appreciate it.

Here is an example; Le'on said looking deep into Toby's eyes with an intensity unlike any before.
Now I know said means past tense where is looking means present tense right?

Le'on said as he looked deep into Toby's eyes with an intensity unlike any before.
Now the first one for me flows smoothly and I think is still correct (I don't know why exactly) where the second one I'm sure is right but doesn't flow as nice.

Here is another example as well; The cart was strong and sturdy, cushioned thickly with hay as Le’on laid Toby into the cart. Ginny stepped into the cart and laid down beside her dying husband.
Everything is past tense but the dying is that wrong, or is there a better way to write this. Like I said this is a menacing issue throughout my WIP and any help would be appreciated.

Juelz

 

[Jo Zebedee]

Sometimes when we use -ing it's not a change in tense, but a change in emphasis. So, when you say he is looking into the eyes, it indicates this action is carried on throughout the sentence. To put it into present tense you would use looks instead of looked.

Again the dying is correct because he is in the process of dying, as opposed to already being dead. (I think the second laid is wrong, though, and should be lay).
Better people than me will explain this much more clearly.

 

[The Judge]

You're misunderstanding the issue of tenses.

Yes, "is looking" is present tense, but you haven't written "is looking" -- the -ing part of the verb can be used in present, past (was looking) and future (will be looking) see here http://www.sffchronicles.co.uk/forum/51521-the-toolbox-9.html#post1336024

The "dying" is the participle used as an adjective which is perfectly normal.

Basically, what you've written is right. Stop stressing.


PS springs is right - it should be "lay" and it's "laid [him] in the cart" not "into"

 

[chrispenycate]

The present participle is not, despite what its name suggests, tied to any time period. I had been walking, I was whistling, I am writing, she'll be coming round the mountains. It's more a case of the action extending over an extended duration, and frequently associated with a punctual action after a "when" (I had been walking when the storm broke). So no worry about tenses. Still, I'd put a comma after "said”

In the third example, no worry about the dying man (tensewise, at least), but his wife lay down (past tense of "to lie", I lie, I lay, I have lain), although Le'on "laid" down (past tense of to lay; I lay, I laid, I have laid) the husband.

I'd put a comma in thhe second one, too, and agree that, while grammatically correct, it doesn't flow as nicely. (The “nice” refers to the verb “to flow”, so should be an adverb rather than an adjective.)

 

[juelz4sure]

Thank you everyone, it's been something I've been fighting with the entire WIP, you guys have definitely helped me to understand the use of ing in regards to tense. Thanks again.

Juelz